Naruto sat on the couch, her posture unnaturally straight, her hands neatly folded in her lap. Her glowing jade eyes were fixed on Karin, who was scrubbing the floor with the determination of someone trying to scrub away her own existence. Naruto's head tilted slightly, her expression calm but unsettlingly focused.
"Karin," Naruto said, her voice stiff yet disturbingly enthusiastic. "The way you clean this floor—impressive. The uneven strokes, the lack of precision… it is unique. Truly, a performance that challenges the very concept of order and efficiency. Naruto is… impressed."
Karin froze mid-scrub, her back stiffening. She slowly looked over her shoulder at Naruto, her face a mix of exhaustion and mild terror. "Uh, thanks?" she mumbled, unsure if she was being complimented or insulted.
Naruto continued, her tone unwavering, her words precise. "Your work reflects a bold disregard for convention. The streaks you leave behind are… inspiring. They tell a story of chaos and imperfection. Naruto acknowledges your effort. Few would dare to achieve such results."
Karin's hands trembled as she gripped the rag tighter. "I'm just… cleaning the floor…"
"Cleaning?" Naruto repeated, as if testing the word. "No. This is not cleaning. This is… art. An unrefined masterpiece. Naruto sees greatness in your actions."
Karin's mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air. The rag slipped from her hand as she sat back on her heels, blinking at Naruto. "I… uh… thanks?" she croaked, her brain struggling to process the relentless praise.
Before Karin could collect herself, the door swung open, and Sakura stepped inside, holding a small book in her hand. She stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening as she took in the scene. Karin was on the floor, looking like she'd aged a decade, while Naruto sat on the couch like a regal overseer.
"What's going on here?" Sakura asked, her brow furrowing.
Naruto's head turned toward her, the movement precise and almost mechanical. "Sakura. Karin is demonstrating her unparalleled skill in floor maintenance. Naruto is impressed by her lack of organization and disregard for conventional cleaning techniques."
Karin let out a weak laugh, her glasses slipping down her nose. "I'm thriving," she muttered, her voice flat. "This is great. I love it."
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "You… love it?"
Karin nodded stiffly. "Uh-huh. Totally. Cleaning floors for Naruto. Best thing ever."
Naruto nodded slowly, her tone as even as ever. "Karin's commitment is admirable. Her humility in acknowledging her imperfections is… commendable. Naruto appreciates her efforts."
Karin let out a strangled noise, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and went back to scrubbing, her movements jerky and desperate. Sakura blinked, clearly unsure whether to intervene or leave.
Deciding to change the subject, Sakura held up the book she was carrying. "Naruto, I found this in your closet. I think you need it."
Naruto's gaze shifted to the book with unnerving focus. "What is it?" she asked, her tone neutral but tinged with curiosity.
Sakura handed it to her. The title read, Etiquette for Morons.
Naruto took the book, her movements deliberate, and stared at the cover for a moment. "Naruto acknowledges the intent behind this gift," she said, her tone unwavering. "Sakura believes Naruto requires refinement. Naruto appreciates the feedback."
Sakura blinked. "Uh… you're welcome?"
Naruto hugged the book to her chest, her expression unchanging but somehow serene. "This book will be… useful. Naruto will study it thoroughly. Sakura's thoughtfulness is… appreciated."
Sakura stared at her, unsure if she was being thanked or subtly mocked. "Right… well… glad you like it."
Naruto nodded, her posture still stiff. "Naruto is grateful."
Karin, still scrubbing, let out a groan and collapsed onto the floor, muttering incoherently. "Make it stop… please…"
Naruto tilted her head. "Karin wishes for Naruto to stop praising her?" she asked, her tone flat but strangely innocent. "Naruto will comply."
Karin let out a sigh of relief, her body going limp as she lay face-down on the floor. "Thank you…"
Sakura looked at Karin, then at Naruto. "You're… different. I'm not sure I like this version of you."
Naruto turned her head toward Sakura, her expression blank but her tone enthusiastic. "Naruto acknowledges the critique. Improvement is… necessary."
Sakura shook her head. "This is worse than before. At least you were predictable back then."
Naruto tilted her head again, her eyes glowing faintly. "Naruto is evolving. Change is inevitable. Appreciation for the present is… encouraged."
Sakura groaned. "I need a drink."