I have been sitting here listening to each of their introductions. These girls are a colorful bunch, I could say.
But none of them are what I'm looking for. One that could answer me.
After Claire left the room, I wondered if I could figure out all the things happening to me by myself.
The answer is, of course, no.
It is hopeless.
But I've been to a similar place before. Minus the transmigration stuff. What did I say to myself back then?
Sometimes, things just happen— that's right, that's the one.
There is no rule forcing me to answer these questions.
I just have to do my thing and let what happened happen.
Now my head is a lot clearer.
A lot calmer.
Clap. Sohee snaps me out of my thoughts with a clap.
"All that's done now, let's move on to the next phase."
They kept their silence.
Sohee eyes me expectantly.
But nothing here matters anymore. It was fun.
"Sunbae?" Sohee calls. "Perhaps you have forgotten?"
She brings her body close and cups my ear with her hand. She whispers in it. "I know it's quite a hassle to do this, but you have to decide whether or not to accept the students after they finish their introduction. It's all for the record."
She shakes something around her skirt. A phone. So she has been recording our voices all this time.
My decision? That should have been obvious, right?
Nod. Sohee backs off.
She might not like what I do next.
I cleared my throat, "It was short, but I think I got the gist of it."
Everyone's eyes are on me. The reds, peeking over the game console. The blacks, glancing up from her laptop screen. The emeralds were watching my feet through her bangs. The pinks are watching my lips, almost knowing what it says next.
But she doesn't.
"I refuse."
"Sun… bae?"
A splash of disappointment washes her face. While the other four girls release a sigh of relief.
"That's not right, Sunbae," Sohee begins, "that's not what you should say."
You see him, not me, Sohee. You see the guy that I took over. That guy probably will say what you want him to. But I won't.
I stand up, cooling my bottom.
If I go along pretending to be a smart, good tutor, it won't be long before people find out that I'm a fraud. I've lied so many times that's just how it goes. Some lies won't stay a lie. Even if I'm the best liar in the world, it's only a matter of time.
"I'll take my leave now."
"Sunbae… why…"
I walk out, ignoring her pleas for an answer.
*
Right. What happens next?
Maybe I should have stayed back there and continued playing dress up. Who knows what's in store if I stay? Though it would probably turn out as Varrie said. I'd fuck one of them. Or two. Or all of them. Even if that's not the case (maybe I somehow developed good morals along the way), I won't complain about being able to spend my life with a bunch of pretty girls. There's probably happiness around there.
I never got that back in my old world.
Chuckle.
Second chance, happiness, huh.
Don't need that.
The god probably made a mistake. Give this chance to someone else.
Just want to rest. Been wanting that for a long time. Just never dared to. But now I have experienced the feeling of letting life go, where everything is free, it won't be like last time.
This time I'd take it myself.
I stand outside the high school's gate, looking up at the orange skies. There are quite a lot of tall buildings here. The scenery reminds me a little of Hong Kong. Right, how about that one? The tallest building for now. Yeah, that would do just fine. It won't leave any error after I jump off it.
I step forward.
This body is quite heavy, isn't it? Not saying that he's fat. I mean that in a way that this guy has a lot going on with him. He has a little sister waiting for him back home, right? Her life would be hell knowing her brother is not there anymore.
I'm quite aware that my actions will ruin someone's life. Let's leave that guilt to the person who sent me here. This is their mistake after all.
"Where are you going?"
A voice. Someone I recognize. I recognize? Now that's weird, that can't be.
The owner of the voice is as tall as my hips.
A small girl wearing a brown uniform that looks like she could be from a middle school nearby.
"Huh?"
"We ask: where are you going?"
"Someplace I can jump."
I said that. Maybe that was wrong. I should try to apologize.
"That's not why we bring you in here."
Hm? We? Bring me here? What's this girl trying to say?
The child takes a step closer, "You belong here. We have made it so."
Her eyes are white, almost like Claire's. But they have no iris. This one, I'm sure, is blind. Maybe she's confusing me with someone else.
"Little girl, I'm not someone you think I am. Are you expecting your parents?"
The area is empty. School's not over yet. Maybe her parents teach here. Or study here in this school. No idea.
"We are without parents."
Okay. Now this is awkward. So a guardian it is…
The girl shakes her head. "No, you have it wrong. We have no parents."
That's not how it works. You wouldn't be born if you didn't have parents.
"But we did."
That's weird. I never say that out loud. Did she just guess what was on my mind?
"We existed just as time existed. We have been here, moving with it. We have come to know you along the way. And you know us."
A chuunibyou. She has to be one, right? This is why you don't let your children watch too much anime. They are going to come up to people like me and give them an existential crisis.
Though I wonder, how is she able to watch anime with her eyes? I guess she could just listen. Anyway, looking at this girl my heart somehow clenches.
She steps closer.
I step back.
My back hit something soft and warm. A body. Women's.
Hands press the sides of my forehead, denying me the ability to turn around. Then the person behind whispers, a voice that I knew. The same voice as the child.
"You shouldn't have left the girls."
I find myself not struggling. To that, she says, "You are really composed. Are you not afraid?"
"Too confused to feel that."
She chuckles.
Should… Should I feel that way?
"Of course," the child says. "You messed up. Now we have to set you back."
The child takes something out of her bag.
A knife. One that you could find in a kitchen. Sharp enough to dig wounds in someone's body. My body twitches.
These two are not normal. Not human. They can read minds anyway. "What do you want?"
I begin asking as if these people were the ones who put me here. My guts saying I have it right.
"An end," the woman behind says, "a good end for the girls."
The child, "Which you failed to give in this timeline."
Failed? Now that's just not fair, right? "Okay, maybe you should have given me clear instructions when I first got in here, you know?"
Woman, "Do you not remember?"
Uh… no?
"Then come to the nurse's office once more, and we will answer."
"For now, you must die," the child said.
She runs toward me.
Squelch.
Sting.
Familiar pain.
My body is stabbed.
Squelch.
Another area sting.
She stabs my abdomen again.
Squelch.
I can't move. I can't get away. Let me go.
Squelch.
Stab.
Stab…
Stab—
*
1st Loop: 2nd
*
A door.
Special class.
Question. Questions. My head cries for answers. No answer, Can't answer. What now? How to move forward?
Remember.
Remembered.
So say it.
Sometimes, things just happen. That's right. And let what happened happen. Do your thing. Don't try to answer. Escape this hell.