'So darling, what made you transfer to Japan?' Marie asked.
'I don't know.'
The system mentioned something about experience, but if I wanted experience, I could've gone literally anywhere else.
'That's so like you, darling.' Marie giggled. 'So… where are you taking us?'
'Ramen.'
On the internet, I read that Shinjuku had some of the best ramen in the country.
Naturally, I wanted to test that claim.
'Ramen?!' The blonde girl blurted. 'You're seriously bringing us to eat ramen?'
'Yeah?' I tilted my head. 'What's wrong with ramen?'
'You're surrounded by pretty girls, ' She crossed her arms, 'and you take us to a cheap noodle shop?'
Before I could respond…
'Rina.'
Marie's voice was soft.
Very soft.
Rina froze.
Marie was smiling.
The kind of smile that made people suddenly remember they had made poor life decisions.
'Ramen is perfectly fine.' Marie said sweetly. 'Isn't that right?'
'…Yes.'
Rina nodded so quickly I thought her neck might snap.
'Great.' I said. 'Then we can vote if anyone wants something else.'
Everyone nodded.
Rina nodded the hardest.
'Ramen it is.'
———————————-
'Have you been to Shinjuku a lot, Marie?' I asked.
'Only a few times.'
She tapped her chin.
'But one of my friends' boyfriends once took her to a ramen shop here.'
When she said the word 'boyfriend', she blinked repeatedly at me.
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
Was that Morse code?
Back in stealth missions, we used eye signals like that.
Let me try to decipher…
Abwugdda dijl.
I had no idea what she was saying.
'Then you can lead the way.' I said.
Marie smiled brightly.
'Of course, darling.'
———————-
Marie walked ahead with her friends.
I stayed behind with the OG crew.
'Hey, bastard.' Saki whispered.
'What?'
'That girl. I don't trust her.'
Wow.
Saki's three brain cells must be working overtime today.
'The way she talks feels fake.' She added.
'Well, I've only known her since we were kids in America. 'I whispered. 'I don't actually know much about her.'
Kasumi leaned closer.
'What are you whispering about?'
'Her.' Saki pointed directly at Marie.
'Ah.' Kasumi nodded.
Just then, Marie turned around.
'Darling, we're here.'
She smiled.
Her eyes were half-closed.
Like a fox watching chickens.
—————-
Luckily the line wasn't too long.
I wrote my name down and waited.
'Darling.'
Marie appeared beside me.
'What's up?'
'Are you doing anything after lunch?'
I turned.
'Kasumi, is there anything you want to do after?'
My mission today was simple:
Make Kasumi happy.
'I don't know much about Shinjuku.' Kasumi said.
'Hmm…'
I stroked my chin.
'How about visiting a shrine?'
Kasumi's eyes lit up.
'I'd like that!'
'Then that's the plan.'
I looked back at Marie.
'There you have it.'
Marie was still smiling.
But for a brief moment…
Her eyes flicked toward Kasumi.
Her smile didn't change.
'Can I join?' She asked sweetly.
'Kasumi?' I asked.
*Crack*
For a split second, Marie's smile tightened.
'I'm okay.' Kasumi said.
—————————-
Soon my name was called.
'Di-ran.'
We followed the waiter to a table.
A tablet sat on the side for ordering.
'Ladies first.'
I handed it to the nearest person.
Marie.
'Thank you, darling.'
She leaned slightly closer as she scrolled the menu.
'Hmm… darling?'
'Yeah?'
'I can't finish a whole bowl by myself.'
She tilted her head innocently.
'Would you help me eat it?'
'Sure. I don't mind.'
Marie smiled.
For a moment her eyes flicked toward Kasumi.
Like she had just placed a chess piece.
Then she passed the tablet along.
———-
When it reached me, I ordered chicken ramen.
Then pressed the plus button.
Five times.
I was planning to eat other stuff later.
This was just the appetiser.
'I'll read the orders to confirm.'
I read the orders out loud.
Everyone nodded.
I placed the order.
A waiter brought us water.
'Darling,' Marie said, resting her chin on her hand. 'Tell me about your school life.'
'Hmm.'
I stared at the ceiling.
'One word?'
'Boring.'
'All I do is sleep.'
'You can ask Kasumi.'
Marie turned to her.
Kasumi nodded shyly.
'Darling,' Marie said slowly, leaning toward me. 'You seem very close to her.'
Her smile didn't change.
'But why is that?'
'Because she was my first friend in Japan.'
I gestured to Kasumi.
'And look at her.'
'She's too kind not to like.'
Silence.
Somewhere, for some reason, I could hear the voice of the Chad Prince.
You stepped on a land mine.
'Hmph.'
Marie turned her head away.
'You scumbag.'
'You already had me.'
'And yet you went after another girl.'
Ah.
She was upset.
Time to apply the Old geezer's method.
I gently patted her head.
'Are you upset?'
'Of course I am!'
But I noticed something.
The corner of her mouth was slightly raised.
'Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?'
Marie tapped her chin.
'Hmm…'
'I suppose…'
'Only a kiss on the cheek could fix it.' She said jokingly.
*Smooch*
I kissed her cheek.
'As long as you're happy.'
Marie froze.
Her brain visibly disconnected.
'Oh my.' One of her friends giggled.
Meanwhile…
Kasumi and Saki stared at me.
Blank expressions.
'Bastard.' Saki muttered.
I didn't understand.
The old geezer kissed his granddaughter on the cheek all the time.
Perfectly normal.
——————
'Your food is here.'
Bowls were placed across the table.
Marie's friends looked at my order.
Then at me.
Then back at the bowls.
'You're going to eat all of that?'
'Yeah.' I said. 'I'm hungry.'
Before anyone else even started…
I was already halfway through my third bowl.
'You should eat.' I said. 'Your noodles will get soggy.'
They started eating.
Gracefully.
Meanwhile, I inhaled ramen like a vacuum cleaner.
'Burp.' I let out.
'Di-ran.'
Kasumi said softly.
'That's rude.'
'Rude? It's a natural reflex.'
I looked around.
'Wait.'
'Don't tell me none of you burp or fart.'
Kasumi turned red instantly.
'O-of course I do!'
She covered her face, blushing.
'Bastard.'
Saki said.
'You don't ask ladies things like that.'
'Wait…' I paused. 'So everyone here farts… but no one admits it?'
Marie laughed.
'Darling.'
'You really know nothing about girls.'
'Yeah.' I nodded. 'I've only ever hung out with guys.'
Saying that out loud made me realise something.
Two lives.
Still a virgin.
…Impressive.
'I see.' Marie giggled. 'Then perhaps I should teach you.'
The last thing I needed was a 17-year-old brat teaching me romance.
Wait.
Does that mean she has experience before me?
'Sigh.'
'What's wrong, darling?'
'It's just depressing.' I said. 'A brat like you already has experience while I don't.'
'W-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!' Marie exploded. 'You make it sound like I already had s-s-sex!'
'Wait… you didn't?!'
I grabbed her shoulders.
'I-I-I didn't…'
Her brain overheated.
Steam was rising out of her ears.
I looked around.
Everyone gave me a look.
Saki whispered. 'Bastard.'
Yeah.
I really am terrible at talking to girls.