'Di-ran… you really are clueless.' Kasumi said with a small sigh.
'I am.' I admitted without shame.
Marie leaned forward with a mischievous smile.
'Then darling, how about you learn from me?'
Her voice suddenly turned syrupy and seductive.
I looked around the table.
'I could learn from all of you. You're all girls after all.'
The ramen shop suddenly became very quiet.
Every girl at the table slowly turned toward me.
Death.
Pure death in their eyes.
'…What?' I blinked. 'Did I say something wrong?'
From my perspective, it made perfect sense. They were girls. If I wanted to learn how to talk to girls, asking girls would obviously be the most efficient method.
Granted, they were little girls.
But progress was progress.
The blonde girl leaned toward Marie and whispered.
'Marie… you might want to find another man.'
Marie shook her head confidently.
'No. I'll teach him… slowly.'
While they continued whispering about my hopelessness, I finished my ramen.
I patted my stomach with satisfaction.
That was when I heard it.
A faint cry for help from somewhere outside.
'Di-ran, where are you going?' Kasumi asked.
'…'
I was already standing.
Without answering, I walked out of the store and headed toward the sound.
————————-
The moment I entered the alleyway, I stopped.
A familiar sight greeted me.
A fat man stood there grinning like he had just unlocked the secrets of the universe.
In front of him stood a woman.
Blank eyes.
Slack posture.
Completely dazed.
The man held up his phone.
My eyes narrowed.
'…I sense magic.'
The device was radiating a very specific type of energy.
Seductive.
Manipulative.
'Incubus… or succubus?'
Interesting.
Did this world naturally contain supernatural creatures?
Or were they outsiders like me?
Either way…
I needed that phone.
'Hey, fatso.'
I walked toward him casually.
'Mind handing that over?'
The man turned.
His belly jiggled as he moved.
'Who the hell are you?'
'You don't need to know. I just want to know where you got that phone.'
He immediately hugged it to his chest.
'I'm not telling you!'
Then he shoved the screen into my face.
'You see this?! With this phone, everyone will obey me!'
I stared at it and I sighed. 'That's not how you do it.'
I slapped his hand aside.
'Hey!'
I looked directly into his eyes.
My voice lowered.
'You will obey me.'
His pupil instantly dulled.
His body relaxed.
'…Okay.'
'Good.'
I crossed my arms.
'First question. Where did you get the phone?'
'I don't know…' He said dreamily. 'I found it when I woke up one morning.'
That wasn't helpful.
'Second question.'
I gestured at the woman.
'What were you planning on using it for?'
He smiled proudly.
'Sex.'
I closed my eyes.
'…Of course.'
I waved my hand.
'New command. Go live a decent life and stop being a creep.'
'Okay.'
Then he winked and blew me a kiss.
My soul shrivelled slightly.
I turned to the woman.
She was still hypnotised.
One snap of my fingers.
'You will forget everything that happened here and you will go home and continue living normally.'
'I will obey.'
She quietly walked away.
I looked down at the phone.
A glowing pink heart pulsed on the screen.
I slipped it into my pocket.
'The "H" is starting to sound like hardcore.'
———————————
The moment I returned, everyone bombarded me with questions.
'Why did you suddenly run off?'
'Did something happen?'
'Relax.' I said, sitting down. 'I just saw something familiar.'
They stared at me.
Then surprisingly…
'Okay.'
None of them pushed further.
Marie nudged her bowl toward me with puppy eyes.
'Darling… I can't finish mine.'
'Then pass it here.'
She slid it over.
I finished it easily.
'The flavour you picked wasn't bad, Marie.'
When I looked up, Marie's face was bright red.
Her friends groaned dramatically.
'Ugh. We're being fed dog food again.'
I sighed.
I quietly continued eating.
————————-
After lunch, we headed to a shrine.
Since I had no idea about the customs, Marie guided me.
'So this shrine worships the god of agriculture and business?' I asked.
'Yep.' Marie said. 'Lots of businessmen come here to pray.'
'I see.'
We walked around the shrine with Saki and Kasumi, snapping photos of the scenery.
Kasumi lingered beside me the whole time, quietly fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist.
Eventually, she tugged on my sleeve.
'D-Di-ran…'
'Yeah?'
She looked down at her shoes.
'C-can we… take a selfie together?'
Her voice was quiet.
I smiled.
'Sure.'
Her head shot up like she had just won the lottery.
We stood in front of the shrine gate. Kasumi raised her phone, nervously adjusting the angle.
'O-okay…ready?'
Right as she was about to take the photo…
Saki suddenly slid into frame like a professional photobomber.
'Make some space, you bastard!'
*Snap*
Kasumi took the picture in pure panic.
We looked at the screen.
Saki was mid-yell.
Her face looked like a gremlin caught during a robbery.
Kasumi burst out laughing.
'Pfff—'
'HEY!' Saki shouted. 'Delete that! Take another one!'
Kasumi clutched her phone to her chest like it contained national secrets.
'I…I like this one.'
'But I look insane!'
Kasumi peeked at the photo again.
Her shoulders shook.
'I really like it.'
'Please?' Saki clasped her hands together dramatically.
Kasumi hesitated…
Then shook her head.
'No.'
Saki collapsed to her knees.
'Betrayed…by cuteness.'
Kasumi quietly saved the photo like a dragon guarding treasure.
Marie suddenly grabbed my arm.
'Darling, how about we take one together?'
'Sure.'
She leaned beside me proudly.
'Ready?'
'Yeah.'
*Snap*
The photo showed Marie resting on my arm.
Marie stared at the screen like it was a priceless treasure.
Meanwhile, her friends were photographing literally everything.
This was supposed to be a sacred shrine.
Instead, we turned it into an amusement park.
This generation…
————————————
Eventually, it got late.
Mamoru arrived to pick us up.
Marie clung to my arm.
'Just a little longer, darling.'
I gently patted her head.
'We can always hang out again.'
'Really?'
'Really.'
She smiled brightly.
'Then it's a promise.'
—————————
'How was your day, Mamoru?' I asked.
'Tiring.' He sighed. 'Some of these kids are basically toddlers.'
'I hear you.'
I suddenly gained new respect for anyone who worked with children.
Looking at the rear-view mirror.
Kasumi had fallen asleep.
Her head tilted gently against the window.
Meanwhile…
Saki had somehow acquired a marker.
I watched through the mirror as she carefully drew tiny stick figures across Kasumi's face.
One was climbing her nose like a ladder.
Another stood heroically on her eyebrow like a mountain peak.
And one…
Had somehow built a tiny stick-figure house on her forehead.
Saki was shaking with silent laughter.
Should I stop her?
…
Nah.
Let kids be kids.
————————-
The moment we got out of the car, Kasumi glanced at the side mirror.
Then froze.
'…Saki.'
'Pffff—' Saki let out.
'You're just too cute.' Saki said, trying and failing not to laugh. 'So I made you even more adorable.'
Kasumi pointed angrily at her face.
'How is this adorable?!'
Saki wiped a tear from her eye.
'It is.'
'It's not.'
'I'll prove it.'
Before Kasumi could escape, Saki lunged forward and hugged her.
'YOU'RE TOO CUTE!'
Kasumi immediately started struggling.
'Di-ran! Save me!'
Her hand reached toward the sky like a drowning victim.
She was drowning… on land… in a hug.
'Time to create a glitch.'
I poked a spot on Saki's back and sent a small pulse of electricity into her.
'GWAAAH!'
Saki released Kasumi instantly.
Then she started spasming.
Her arms flailed… her legs kicked.
Her body jittered like someone had unplugged and replugged reality.
She was literally glitching.
Kasumi pointed at her triumphantly.
'Ha! That's what you get!'
She puffed her cheeks and crossed her arms.
Eventually, Saki collapsed onto the ground.
Like a turtle that had given up on life.
'I think I can see the light.' She whispered.
She slowly reached toward the sky.
'Am I dead?'
'No.' I said. 'That's a streetlight.'
'Ah.'
She sat up suddenly.
'So this isn't heaven?'
'No.'
'Because right in front of me…'
She turned dramatically toward Kasumi.
'…is an angel!'
She lunged again.
'AHHH!'
I stuck my arm out.
*BONK*
Her forehead smacked directly into my arm.
She stumbled back.
'Ow…'
Then she looked at me.
Then at Kasumi.
Then back at me.
'No…no…no.'
She crawled backwards across the pavement.
'I'm not in heaven.'
She pointed at me.
'I'm in hell!'
She immediately dropped to her knees and clasped her hands together.
'Please, angel!' She cried to Kasumi, 'Forgive me! I don't want to spend eternity with this…this… d-devil!'
Kasumi walked over and gently helped her up.
Then she looked straight into Saki's eyes.
'Saki… I forgive you.'
She softly patted her head.
'You're my friend after all.'
Saki's eyes watered.
Peace.
Warmth.
Salvation.
Then Kasumi tilted her head slightly.
'But sometimes…'
Kasumi softly smiled.
'…you act a little retarded.'
*Shatter*
Somewhere in the universe, I swear I heard glass break.
Saki froze.
Her soul quietly left her body.
Her entire form melted slowly to the ground.
She was…
A slime.
A depressed slime.
Saki the slime slowly drew a circle on the pavement with her goo.
Then two dots.
Then an arch.
She drew a sad face.
Then she added a tiny tear.
I stared at her.
Kasumi covered her mouth.
'I-I didn't mean it like that!'
Why are you not surprised Saki turned into a slime?
'I never knew you could say such things, Kasumi.' I said.
I was genuinely shocked.
Who had taught this lovable girl such words?
If I ever find that person, I would have a serious conversation with them.
I picked up Saki the slime.
It wobbled sadly.
'I'll walk you home, Kasumi.'
'And then I'll hand this creature to Hina.'
—————————
'Hey, Di-ran.'
'Yeah?'
Under the night sky, two humans and one depressed slime walked down the street.
'Thank you for today.' Kasumi said with a gentle smile. 'I had a lot of fun.'
'Same.' I said.
We walked quietly for a bit.
Kasumi kept fidgeting with the bracelet on her wrist.
She looked at it like it was something precious.
Eventually, we reached her apartment building.
'Bye bye, Di-ran.'
She smiled brightly.
Then she gently poked the slime in my arms.
'And you too, Saki.'
'…bye.'
The slime made a faint wobbling noise.
Kasumi giggled before heading inside.
I waited until the building doors closed behind her.
Then I looked down at the slime.
'…Alright.'
'Time to deliver you to Hina.'
——————————-
'Why is she like this?'
Hina stared at the slime Saki in my hands.
'She did it to herself.' I said.
Hina crossed her arms.
'Let me guess. She kept forcing affection onto someone until they snapped.'
…
I stared at her.
'Are you a psychic?'
'She does this all the time.' Hina sighed. 'That's why she doesn't have many friends.'
She held out her hands.
'Give her here.'
I passed the slime over.
The moment Saki felt Hina's hands, she perked up slightly.
'Hina…?'
'Yes. It's me.'
Saki rubbed her slimy body against the warmth of Hina's hand.
She wobbled happily.
'Have I told you how much I love you, Hina?'
'Many times.'
Hina petted her like this was a completely normal situation.
Sometimes I wondered if their relationship was friendship or mother and daughter.
'She'll be back to normal tomorrow.' Hina said.
Then she looked at me.
'Goodnight, Di-ran san.'
'Goodnight.'
I left the apartment and pulled out the phone I got from the fat guy.
'Now…'
'Let's see who you belong to.'
The screen lit up.
A pink heart flooded the display.