I still remember the way my hands were shaking that morning.
It wasn't because of the cold.
It was because of him.
Yuri.
He was waiting for me near the staircase before I entered the class. The hallway was almost empty, just a few students passing by, laughing, unaware that my world was about to crack again.
"Jay," he called softly.
His voice used to sound warm. Friendly. Safe.
But that day, it sounded like a warning.
I stopped walking. My heart already knew something was wrong.
"What do you want?" I asked, trying to sound calm.
He stepped closer. Too close.
His eyes weren't the same. The softness was gone. In its place was something dark… something desperate.
"You're going to stop talking to Keifer today."
I frowned. "What?"
"I'm not repeating myself."
I tried to move past him, but he caught my wrist.
"Yuri, let go."
Instead of answering, he slightly opened his blazer just enough for me to see.
And that's when I saw it.
A gun.
My breath stopped.
For a second, the world went silent. I couldn't hear the footsteps. I couldn't hear the chatter. I couldn't even hear my own heartbeat.
"You wouldn't…" I whispered.
His jaw tightened. "If you talk to him today… if you even look at him the way you do… I swear, Jay, I'll make sure he disappears from your life."
My eyes filled with tears instantly. "Are you insane?!"
"I love you," he said, his voice shaking. "And I won't let him take you away from me."
"You're my best friend's enemy now?" I whispered, disbelief crushing my chest. "You were his best friend…"
He looked away for a second, then back at me. "Just do what I say."
I felt sick.
"I'm not your fiancée by heart," I said quietly. "You know that. This engagement is just a contract. Just to save Kuya Angelo's company."
His eyes darkened. "But you still wear my ring."
My hand instinctively covered it.
"Remember what I said," he warned softly. "Not one word to Keifer."
Then he walked away like nothing happened.
And I stood there, frozen.
—
When I entered the classroom, Keifer was already there.
Laughing.
God, he looked so happy.
He was sitting with Ci N, arguing about something stupid, while Aries was throwing paper balls at them. It looked so normal.
So peaceful.
And I wanted to run to him.
I wanted to hug him.
I wanted to bury my face in his chest and cry and tell him everything.
But instead—
I walked past him.
Without looking.
Without smiling.
Without breathing.
"Jay!" he called immediately.
My steps faltered.
Don't turn around.
Don't.
If you do, he'll die.
"Jay, wait."
I clenched my fists and kept walking to my seat.
Ci N looked confused. Aries stopped mid-throw.
Keifer stood up.
He walked toward me.
Every step he took felt like a countdown to something terrible.
He stopped beside my desk.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly.
His voice.
It broke me.
I forced myself to look at him.
And then—
I slapped his hand away when he tried to touch mine.
"Don't touch me."
The entire class went silent.
Keifer blinked. "What?"
"I said don't touch me."
My voice sounded cold.
It wasn't.
Inside, I was screaming.
"What did I do?" he asked, confusion filling his eyes.
Nothing.
You did nothing.
I forced a laugh. "You really think you matter that much?"
Aries stood up immediately. "Jay—"
"Stay out of this!" I snapped.
I saw Yuri from the corner of my eye.
Watching.
Smiling faintly.
"I'm tired of this drama," I continued. "You think just because I hugged you that night, it meant something? Grow up, Keifer."
His face went pale.
"Jay… don't joke like that."
"I'm not joking."
Every word felt like I was stabbing myself.
"I'm engaged. Did you forget? Stop acting like some hero in a love story. You're nothing but a distraction."
Ci N gasped. "Jay, that's too much."
"Shut up, Ci N!"
Keifer didn't speak.
He just stared at me.
His eyes were shining.
And I wanted to die.
"Look at me," he whispered.
I did.
Worst mistake.
There was pain there.
Pure, shattered pain.
"If this is about Yuri—"
"It's not about him!" I snapped. "It's about me not wanting you."
The words echoed in the classroom.
The lie echoed louder inside my heart.
He took a step back like I had physically hit him.
"So everything… was fake?" he asked quietly.
No.
Never.
Not even for a second.
"Yes."
The single word destroyed him.
I saw it.
He nodded slowly.
"Okay."
That was it.
No shouting.
No anger.
Just… okay.
He walked back to his seat.
And didn't look at me again.
—
The rest of the day was torture.
He didn't talk.
He didn't laugh.
He didn't look at me.
Even when Ci N tried to pull him into conversations, he stayed quiet.
And every time I glanced at Yuri—
He looked satisfied.
After class ended, I rushed to the restroom and locked myself inside a stall.
The moment I was alone, I collapsed to the floor.
I covered my mouth to stop the sobs.
"I'm sorry," I whispered over and over again.
I could still see his face.
The way his shoulders dropped.
The way his voice lost its warmth.
I hurt him.
On purpose.
To save him.
Was this what love was?
Choosing to become the villain in his story just to keep him alive?
I wiped my tears and stood up.
I had to stay strong.
If Yuri thinks I hate Keifer, he won't touch him.
That's what matters.
Right?
—
When I came out of the restroom, Keifer was leaning against the wall.
Waiting.
My heart stopped.
"Move," I said coldly.
He didn't.
"Look at me," he demanded softly.
"I don't want to."
He stepped closer.
"I know you," he whispered. "You're lying."
My throat tightened.
"You think I don't see your hands shaking?" he continued. "You think I didn't notice you couldn't even hold eye contact for more than two seconds?"
I wanted to scream.
Stop understanding me.
Stop loving me.
"You're imagining things," I said.
"Did he threaten you?"
My heart skipped.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Jay."
His voice broke.
And that was my breaking point.
I shoved him away.
"Stop acting like I belong to you!" I shouted. "I don't love you! I never did!"
Silence.
Students were staring.
I didn't care.
"If you come near me again," I said, forcing my voice to stay steady, "I'll tell Yuri that you're harassing me."
His eyes widened slightly.
That hurt him more than anything.
He stepped back slowly.
"…You're cruel today."
I smiled bitterly. "Then stay away from me."
He nodded once.
And walked away.
This time—
He didn't look back.
—
As soon as he turned the corner, my knees gave up.
I grabbed the wall to stop myself from falling.
Yuri appeared beside me again.
"You did well," he said calmly.
I didn't look at him.
"If you ever point that thing at him again," I whispered, "I will never forgive you."
He smirked slightly. "Then don't give me a reason to."
He walked away.
And I stood there, alone.
I had won.
Keifer was safe.
But at what cost?
That night, lying in bed, I stared at my phone.
His name was at the top of our chat.
No new messages.
No "Did you eat?"
No "Are you okay?"
Nothing.
I hugged my pillow tightly.
"I'm sorry, Keif," I whispered into the darkness.
"I'll be the bad person if it means you stay alive."
Tears soaked into the fabric.
Tomorrow, I would have to hurt him again.
And again.
Until Yuri believes it completely.
Until the danger passes.
Even if it means Keifer starts hating me.
Even if it means I lose him forever.
Because loving him means protecting him.
Even if he never understands why.