That night, the walls of the room felt closer than ever.
I was sitting on the floor beside the bed, my back resting against the cold wooden frame, my knees pulled to my chest. The house was unusually quiet. Too quiet. Even the ticking of the clock sounded louder than my own breathing.
I kept staring at my hands.
The same hands that trembled when Yuri showed me the gun.
The same hands that pushed Keifer away in class.
The same hands that hurt him.
My chest tightened as I remembered his face earlier that day. The confusion. The anger. The pain.
"Why are you acting like this, Jay?" he had asked in front of everyone.
And I… I had said the cruelest words I could think of.
Because if he hated me, maybe he would stay away.
And if he stayed away…
He would live.
The door suddenly burst open.
"JAYYYYY!" Aries shouted dramatically.
"Why is it so quiet? Are you dead?!" Ci-N added, running in behind him.
I didn't move.
I couldn't.
Their laughter slowly faded when they saw me.
Aries' footsteps softened. "Hey…" he said quietly. "What happened?"
Ci-N closed the door gently this time. "You fought with Keifer again?"
That was it.
The tears I had been holding back all evening broke free.
I covered my face with my hands and sobbed.
Aries immediately rushed to me and knelt down. "Jay, hey… hey, look at me."
Ci-N sat beside me too, panic written all over his face. "Why are you crying like this? Did someone say something? Did that red-headed rooster do something again?"
I shook my head, but the crying wouldn't stop.
"I hurt him," I whispered between sobs. "I hurt Keifer… I said things I didn't mean."
Aries frowned. "Then apologize tomorrow."
I looked up at him, and the fear in my eyes made both of them go still.
"It's not that simple," I said.
Ci-N swallowed. "Then what is it?"
I took a deep breath, but even that felt heavy.
"Before I entered class today…" My voice trembled. "Yuri stopped me."
Aries' expression darkened instantly.
"He said if I talk to Keifer today… even once…" My throat tightened so much I almost couldn't finish.
Ci-N grabbed my arm. "What?"
"He showed me a gun."
The room fell silent.
Completely silent.
Aries' face went pale. "He… what?"
I nodded slowly, tears falling again. "He said he'll kill Keifer."
Ci-N stood up abruptly. "That psycho—"
Aries grabbed his wrist. "Sit down."
Ci-N's fists were shaking. "He threatened her with a gun!"
"I know!" Aries snapped back, but his voice was low and controlled.
He turned to me again, softer this time. "Are you sure it was real?"
"Yes," I whispered. "He pulled it from his coat. He wasn't joking. He said if I even look at Keifer like I love him… he'll shoot him."
The words felt poisonous coming out of my mouth.
Aries closed his eyes for a second, processing.
"So you fought with Keifer to push him away," he said quietly.
I nodded.
"I told him I don't love him. I told him he was just a phase. I saw his face, Aries…" My voice broke completely. "He looked like I stabbed him."
Ci-N sat back down, stunned. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"
"Because what if he finds out?" I cried. "What if he's watching? What if someone is following Keifer? I can't risk his life!"
Aries leaned his forehead against mine gently.
"You idiot," he whispered softly. "You should have told us."
"I can't lose him," I sobbed. "I can survive Yuri. I can survive a forced engagement. I can survive people hating me. But I can't survive Keifer being shot because of me."
Ci-N wiped his face angrily. "I swear I'll—"
"No!" I shouted suddenly. "Don't do anything. That's exactly what he wants. He wants Keifer to react. He wants a reason."
Aries' jaw tightened. "So what's the plan then? You'll just keep hurting Keifer until the wedding?"
"If that's what keeps him alive…" I whispered.
The words tasted like death.
Ci-N looked like he was about to cry too. "Jay… he'll be broken."
"I know," I said, clutching my chest. "Every word I say to push him away feels like I'm tearing my own heart out. But at least he'll be breathing."
Aries stood up and started pacing the room.
"This isn't just about emotions anymore," he muttered. "This is dangerous."
"I don't care about me," I said immediately. "He can point the gun at me. He can threaten me. But I can't let him touch Keifer."
Ci-N looked at Aries. "Should we tell Kuya Angelo?"
I shook my head violently. "No! If Kuya finds out, he'll confront Yuri. And if Yuri feels cornered—"
Aries stopped pacing.
He knew I was right.
Kuya Angelo would never stay silent. And Yuri… Yuri wasn't stable anymore.
Aries knelt in front of me again.
"Listen to me carefully, Jay," he said firmly. "You're not handling this alone."
"But—"
"No," he interrupted. "You think protecting Keifer means suffering silently? That's not protection. That's self-destruction."
Ci-N nodded. "We value Keifer's life. Of course we do. But we also value you."
My tears kept falling.
"I don't know what to do," I whispered.
Aries sighed and gently pulled me into a hug.
For a moment, I let myself collapse into him like a child.
"We'll act like nothing's wrong," Aries said after a while. "You keep your distance from Keifer for now."
The words stabbed me, but I nodded.
"And we observe Yuri," he continued. "If he's serious about that gun, we need proof. We need leverage."
Ci-N's eyes sharpened. "If he threatens you again, record it."
I wiped my tears. "What if he checks?"
"Then we'll find another way," Aries said. "But we won't provoke him. Not yet."
I looked at both of them.
"You're agreeing to this?" I asked quietly. "To letting me hurt Keifer?"
Aries closed his eyes briefly.
"We're agreeing because his life comes first," he said heavily. "And because we trust you."
Ci-N sighed. "Keifer will hate us too if he finds out we knew."
"That's fine," Aries replied. "As long as he's alive."
My chest tightened again.
"I hate this," I whispered.
"Me too," Ci-N muttered.
Aries pulled away slightly and looked at me seriously.
"But remember something, Jay."
"What?"
"This isn't forever. We'll find a way out. We always do."
I wanted to believe him.
But right now, everything felt like a trap.
I lay down on the bed slowly, staring at the ceiling. Aries and Ci-N stayed on either side of me.
"Do you think he's crying?" I asked softly.
Ci-N looked away.
Aries answered honestly. "Yes."
That hurt more than anything.
"I wish I could tell him the truth," I said.
"One day you will," Aries promised.
I turned to my side, hugging a pillow tightly.
"I'm scared," I admitted.
Aries reached over and squeezed my hand. "We're here."
Ci-N nodded. "Always."
The three of us stayed like that in silence.
But even with them beside me, the image of Yuri's cold eyes and that gun wouldn't leave my mind.
And neither would the memory of Keifer's broken expression.
I closed my eyes, letting silent tears fall into the pillow.
I will let him hate me.
I will let him think I stopped loving him.
If that's what keeps him alive.
Even if it destroys me completely.