Chapter 37: You're Playing a Dangerous Game
Kaguya-sama: @Green Grasslands Wolf King — So, newcomer, what do you do? What's your profession?
Kaguya-sama: Admin-dono called you a standout genius. You must be something special!
Green Grasslands Wolf King: My profession? Catching sheep! Wait, does that count as a profession?
Kaguya-sama: Catching… catching sheep?! Like, the kind you eat?
Green Grasslands Wolf King: That's right! The little lambs these days are just too cunning. I've launched 236 attacks on Goat Village and failed every single time. And when I come home empty-pawed, my wife beats me. Life is pain.
Green Grasslands Wolf King: But once the great Wolf King finishes his latest invention—the 'Atmospheric Energy Cannon'—I'll capture every last one of them!
Green Grasslands Wolf King: Mutton hotpot, lamb stew, whole roasted lamb… hehehe.
Kaguya-sama: (д)???
After that brief exchange with Wolffy, Kaguya's mind was nothing but question marks.
She was this close to posting a confused-reaction image.
What did failing to catch sheep have to do with getting beaten by his wife?
And that "Atmospheric Energy Cannon"—anything with "cannon" in the name was clearly not a low-powered weapon. Using artillery to catch sheep? Was this a joke?
What kind of sheep required bombardment? Kaguya's brain had completely short-circuited.
Besides—wasn't mutton available literally everywhere?
You could walk into any store and buy as much as you wanted for pocket change.
Kaguya personally had no interest in mutton—the smell put her off.
But she knew perfectly well it wasn't expensive.
Compared to, say, caviar?
It was cheaper by orders of magnitude.
Kaguya-sama: Wait… why are you catching sheep at all? Why not just buy mutton?
She finally asked the question burning in her mind.
Because Kaguya Shinomiya was starting to suspect she couldn't keep up with this wolf's thought process.
Green Grasslands Wolf King: Mutton is incredibly expensive! And it's not even a matter of price—there's practically no supply. A single can of lamb costs as much as a gold brick!
Green Grasslands Wolf King: I used to have some savings, but all of it went into inventions. Now I'm so broke that building a new invention means skipping meals.
Green Grasslands Wolf King: My poor son Wee Wolffy has never tasted lamb in his entire life.
Kaguya-sama: …A gold brick… for one can of lamb?!
Crazy Diamond: …Ch-chotto matte! I can't just lurk on this one! The newcomer's name is Wolffy, right? How about I trade you twenty cans of lamb for one gold brick?
RawrSoFierce: A hundred cans of lamb for one of your inventions.
Even Ryū was stunned. He'd watched Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf as a kid, but most of the details had long since faded.
He'd had no idea mutton was that valuable in Wolffy's world.
Worth more than gold, apparently.
Though when he thought about it… it actually made a certain kind of sense.
Wolffy had never seemed short on funds. How else could he afford to bankroll one elaborate invention after another?
But if he had all that money, why not just buy mutton?
The only explanation: mutton was prohibitively expensive.
Just as Wolffy had said.
He might have been able to afford it once.
But he'd burned through everything.
Now the wolf was so broke that funding a new invention required scrimping on food and raiding his own secret stash. Genuinely pathetic.
But then again, if you thought about it more carefully… the logic still didn't quite hold up.
Ryū caught himself and slapped his own forehead in exasperation.
"Why the hell am I trying to apply logic to Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf?"
Had his IQ just taken a hit?
Clearing away the mental clutter, Ryū glanced at the group chat—where every member had been stunned into silence by Wolffy's revelation—and let out a wry laugh.
RawrSoFierce: @Green Grasslands Wolf King — if you want mutton, just say the word. It's priceless treasure in your world, but in ours it's quite affordable.
Green Grasslands Wolf King: Mutton is cheap?! Is that really true?!
Kaguya-sama: It's definitely affordable. Although I've never actually eaten it…
Crazy Diamond: I'm just a high school student, but between part-time jobs and saved-up allowances over the years, I could probably afford two or three whole sheep?
Edward Newgate: Mutton? Gurararara! This old man is gnawing on a roasted lamb leg right now! And in my world, mutton's quite cheap too.
Edward Newgate: This lamb leg tastes pretty good, actually. [Image]
Green Grasslands Wolf King: That's… that's… an actual roasted lamb leg!!
While Wolffy was still reeling from shock, a notification chimed in his mind.
First the "ding-dong."
Then a line of text appeared.
[Admin "RawrSoFierce" sent a Targeted Gift Package!]
Wolffy froze for a moment. A Gift Package? He vaguely recalled seeing something about those in the Group Announcement.
He tentatively tapped the package—and immediately yelped.
Clutching his throbbing skull, he stared at the ground in bewilderment.
Two can-shaped objects lay on the floor.
They'd materialized out of nowhere and dropped straight onto his head.
Wolffy swallowed hard. "These are… Did these just teleport here after I tapped the Gift Package? This technology is beyond anything rational thought can describe!"
He picked up the two cans. His eyes locked onto the label images instantly.
Every thought in his brain collapsed into a single, blaring exclamation.
"Lamb… lamb… CANNED LAMB!! And there's two of them!!"
Heaven only knew how long it had been since Wolffy last tasted mutton.
Probably since arriving on the Green Grasslands, the number of times he'd actually eaten lamb was approaching zero.
RawrSoFierce: @Green Grasslands Wolf King — consider it a welcome gift from the Admin. I happened to pick up some canned goods yesterday when I was out.
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: SHOCKING! The stingy Admin actually sent a Gift Package!
Crazy Diamond: SHOCKING! The stingy Admin actually sent a Gift Package!
The Little Wandering Planet: SHOCKING! The stingy Admin actually sent a Gift Package!
We, Ying Zheng: SHOCKING! The stingy Admin actually sent a Gift Package!
We, Ying Zheng: Hm? Why did tapping this "+1" button make my message turn into that?
RawrSoFierce: @The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden — purple granny, you're playing a dangerous game.
RawrSoFierce: Thirty-minute mute warning!
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: While Admin-dono calling me "granny" is terribly rude, Admin-dono looks so dashing when sending Gift Packages! —From a certain Yōkai Sage trembling with an overwhelming will to survive.
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