Chapter 38: Blonde Loser Energy
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: This one would never slander Admin-dono! Someone hacked my account again just now. These account thieves are truly despicable!
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: When this one catches them, they will learn that the Yōkai Sage has a vicious side!
Watching Yukari's full dramatic performance unfold, Ryū's mouth twitched.
This ancient monster really had no shame whatsoever.
The urge to mute her was growing dangerously strong.
He reined in the impulse and shook his head.
Good thing his patience ran deep.
A less tolerant Admin would have muted Yukari for seventeen or eighteen days straight.
And honestly? The odds of that happening would have been high.
RawrSoFierce: You already used that excuse once before.
RawrSoFierce: Do you really think anyone buys that absurd story?
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: Ahahaha…
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: Admin-dono, the wind today is so… restless~
Crazy Diamond: The secondhand embarrassment is coming through the screen.
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: Silence!
Just as Yukari was gathering herself for a retort, a new notification interrupted her mid-thought.
[Member "Green Grasslands Wolf King" sent a Keyword Gift Package! Enter the keyword: Admin-dono is invincible!]
A bright red Gift Package icon appeared before everyone's eyes.
Yukari instantly abandoned whatever she'd been about to type.
With finger speed honed by millennia of singlehood, she tapped at lightning speed—
The screen flickered.
Her expression froze.
Emotions cycled across her face in rapid succession.
Bewilderment. Disbelief.
It was… already claimed?!
[Member "Green Grasslands Wolf King"'s Gift Package has been fully claimed! RawrSoFierce got the best prize!]
Yukari frantically tapped into the Gift Package details, scanned the list of recipients, checked the total number of packages—
And began radiating an unmistakable aura of blonde-loser energy.
Her lovely face crumpled into an expression of infinite despair. She collapsed backward, boneless, and let her forehead thunk straight into the solid floor.
A dull "thud" echoed through the room.
It caught the attention of Ran, who was nearby.
"Yukari-sama, are you alright?!"
Ran had been getting the distinct feeling that something was off about Yukari lately.
"I'm fine. Don't talk. Don't disturb me. I just need to be alone right now."
Yukari lay facedown on the floor, expression blank, and delivered that single flat line.
The blonde-loser aura only grew thicker.
* * *
Wolffy's keyword Gift Package had contained five items. Not enough for every member, but any Gift Package in this group was a rare event—the total number of packages ever sent could be counted on one hand.
What Yukari could not accept was that she had, once again… missed it.
If it had been a Targeted Gift Package, fine. Those were literally impossible to claim.
But this was a standard keyword package. Open to everyone.
And the Yōkai Sage—
Had. Once again. Failed to grab one.
The indignity!
The suffering!
The absolute humiliation!
* * *
Kaguya-sama: Admin-dono is invincible!
Edward Newgate: Admin-dono is invincible!
RawrSoFierce: Admin-dono is invincible!
We, Ying Zheng: Admin-dono is invincible!
The Little Wandering Planet: Admin-dono is invincible!
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: Admin-dono is invincible!
[Member "Green Grasslands Wolf King"'s Gift Package has been fully claimed! RawrSoFierce got the best prize!]
Seeing the chat log, Yukari took another devastating blow.
She'd been the sixth person to enter the keyword. One slot short. One!
She wanted to write the character for "misery" on her inner thigh—wait, no. Just… "misery." Somewhere. She wanted to write "misery" somewhere.
As for why the inner thigh specifically?
Even Yukari herself had no idea.
The thought had just materialized from nowhere.
If she hadn't been busy typing that retort earlier, she probably would have grabbed one.
She didn't even care what was inside the package. She just wanted the thrill of actually winning one for once. Should she send herself a Targeted Gift Package? No—that would be too pathetic, even for her.
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: This is the face this one is making right now. [Image]
Yukari posted a selfie of her current state.
Then followed up with another message.
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: Life holds no more meaning. Existence is suffering.
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden: This one is going to find out which yōkai in Gensōkyō controls fortune, and if I don't beat her face into a pumpkin, I'm never showing up in this chat again!!
RawrSoFierce: …The blonde-loser energy is practically visible.
RawrSoFierce: That defeated expression is meme-worthy.
Kaguya-sama: …Poor Yukari-nee-sama. There, there.
Green Grasslands Wolf King: Did I… do something wrong?
RawrSoFierce: @Green Grasslands Wolf King — you're fine. This old lady has daily meltdowns about her bad luck. You get used to it.
Green Grasslands Wolf King: Ah, I see… phew~
Wolffy had been mildly anxious—Yukari's reaction had spooked him. He'd worried that sending a Gift Package was somehow a faux pas.
After Ryū's explanation, the wolf finally exhaled.
But the Admin had said this "Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden" complained about her luck every single day?
How spectacularly bad did your luck have to be to warrant daily complaints?
Wolffy couldn't even imagine.
* * *
As Ryū had said, Yukari's daily luck complaints were so routine he'd long since gone numb to them.
If the old monster went one day without complaining? That would be the real anomaly.
Shaking his head, he cleared the mental clutter and allowed himself a wry smile. "Didn't expect Wolffy to send a return gift…"
He'd grabbed one of Wolffy's five packages—and apparently gotten the most valuable one.
Hence: best prize.
"What is this? A small medicine vial? There seems to be writing on it…"
Ryū couldn't figure out why a tiny vial had earned him the top spot.
Unless the contents were extremely valuable?
That was a real possibility.
A strong one, actually.
He photographed the illegible text on the vial and sent the image to the Dimensional Chat Group. If it was written in another world's script, the group's built-in translation would let everyone read it.
Because regardless of which world's writing system was used, anything posted to the group became universally readable.
As for how that worked?
Ryū had no idea.
☆☆☆
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