Honestly, I really like reading books.
Maybe because my grandfather's hobby passed down to me, or maybe it's just the fastest way I know to kill time.
So I read everywhere— at school, at home, in bed, and even in the bathroom.
And that's how I ended up nearsighted!
Just kidding. A hollow person like me actually found a real hobby… It's just that it doesn't change my fundamentally empty nature much.
...That's what I thought.
"Master, you're seriously such a blatant liar."
Before this guy showed up—
He was sprawled out in the room, munching on potato chips, laughing his ass off at some lame joke on TV.
He no longer looked like a shadowy figure covering his entire body. Now he was fully visible: a tanned guy with black hair, black tattoos all over his body, wearing red cloth strips on his head and around his waist like some makeshift loincloth, and black wraps on his arms too.
To put it bluntly… he looked extremely sloppy. Even when the cloth around his waist slipped down and exposed his junk, he just casually scratched himself right in front of me like it was nothing!
Like a homeless bum!
Is this guy seriously Angra Mainyu? Or just some masochistic pervert??
"Master, I know exactly what you're thinking about me right now."
"Uh… sorry."
"Nah, it's okay. We chill." He waved it off casually, then scratched his ass again and burst out laughing at another terrible TV joke.
…Is this dude really "All the World's Evil"?
Earlier…
"Woo! This cool breeze… no mistake about it—this is definitely my personal high-class vacation spot! No Grail, no Servant who can one-shot me, no goody-two-shoes heroes trying to execute me. Ahhh, life is beautiful!"
Right after being summoned, Angra Mainyu stepped out of the shed and started taking deep breaths of fresh air like he was on holiday.
I was still confused, adjusted my glasses, and slowly walked over.
"Um… I still don't really understand what's going on…?"
"Hm? Oh right. Looks like this place doesn't have any Magus or the Clock Tower, huh? Feels straight out of a slice-of-life anime." He rubbed his chin and turned to me.
"Like I said—I'm Angra Mainyu, your Servant! My class is Avenger, and I'm the weakest Servant ever! You can call me Angry Mango or whatever you want. Just give me a place to crash and be lazy."
"…" I blinked a few times, then looked back at the notebook I dropped.
No way…
"You're… a Heroic Spirit?"
"Hm? Calling me a Heroic Spirit feels kinda… over the top, but yeah, I guess so!"
Hearing that, I started breathing harder. I picked up the notebook and looked at his entry again.
The very first Avenger-class Servant, the one who gave birth to the class itself.
And right there was a naked sketch of him…
"I-I thought all this stuff was just…"
"Huh? What do you mean?" Angra scratched his head innocently and came over to look.
This time even he looked a bit surprised. He grabbed the notebook and flipped through every page.
"Why is there so much info?? Are you from Chaldea or something?!"
"Chaldea what???"
"Huh???"
"Huh???"
We both stood there confused for a solid moment before Angra quickly calmed down.
"So that's why you could summon me… even though this place probably doesn't even know what a Holy Grail is." Angra glanced at the magic circle that had brought him here.
"Your magic circuits… wow dude, they're even worse than the body I'm using! Weakest Master award?"
Hey, what the hell is this guy saying?
"We're actually a perfect match! Weakest Master and weakest Servant—this is truly the king-tier toilet duo!"
"Alright… how about we go inside and talk? I'm still not clear on a lot of things…"
"Sure thing, pal."
I closed and locked the shed door, then led him into the small house my grandfather left me.
Beep!
"Nice! TV works! There's even a bag of potato chips in the fridge! Is this heaven?"
The guy excitedly rummaged through the fridge and flopped down to watch TV like he'd lived here forever.
This guy…
"Oh right, Master, check this out!"
Angra suddenly transformed. The dark shadow enveloping him vanished, revealing his true appearance:
A completely naked dude covered in tattoos.
"…"
Why do I have the feeling this guy is going to be nothing but trouble for me?
***
"So… everything written in the notebook… it's all real?" I sat at the table, staring at Angra who was still glued to the TV.
"Yeah, your grandpa didn't get a single thing wrong. Was he a reincarnator or something?"
"No idea. But how… how did I summon you?"
Angra turned his head toward me.
"Most likely that magic circle had an auto-activation mechanism as long as there were magic circuits? Ugh, I'm not really an expert on this stuff."
"So according to what you said… I summoned you without any catalyst at all… and since there was no catalyst, that means…"
"Yeah, you summoned me using your own nature. Whether that's lucky or unlucky for you, I'm not sure. With your personality, you really should've pulled some stubborn justice-hero type." Angra sighed like I'd just rolled the worst gacha pull ever.
"You have a habit of putting yourself down." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"That's just how I am. I'm the weakest Servant because I'm not built for combat. All my abilities are trash in their own special ways—except corrupting the Grail. That, I'm better at than anyone."
"But I'm pretty damn good at making humans suffer. We can talk about that later."
"What did you just mumble?"
"Nothing, nothing, Master. So what's your name?"
"…Vincent Jutus."
"Alright, let me finish what I was saying earlier. You're a pretty good liar!"
I stared straight at Angra, waiting.
"You keep calling yourself empty inside your mind, saying your hobbies don't affect your empty nature. I don't buy that for a second."
"Your hobby clearly does affect who you are—way more obviously than this body I'm wearing. You're not empty."
Then Angra Mainyu gave a sly, almost seductive smile.
"You're just bored. Bored because nothing interesting ever happens in your life. The reason you enjoy reading is because you secretly want the things in those books to happen to you."
"…"
"Maybe that's why I got summoned? To help you find joy… in something where morals get thrown out the window?"
"…"
I didn't know what to say…
In the end… he clearly understood me better than I understood myself. I couldn't even deny anything he said.
Angra Mainyu… he fits me way better than I ever expected.