Lyra did not give him a grand tour of the village at all.
She just marched him straight past the beautiful carved treehouses and pushed him directly into a holding cell near the edge of the settlement.
But the thing about elven prison is that they actually look way better than most cheap apartments back in the real world.
The cell was made of white roots that wove themselves together to form solid wooden bars, and the floor was covered in a layer of soft green moss.
The wooden door clicked shut behind him, and Lyra immediately took up her position right outside the bars.
She clearly did not trust any of the regular guards to watch over a filthy human, so she decided to stand there and supervise him personally.
She crossed her arms right under her chest, leaning her back against the opposite wall while glaring at him with those bright green eyes.
Kai did not mind the setup at all.
He was totally safe from feral vampires, he was far away from Sheila and her overwhelming boss aura, and he had a prime view of a gorgeous elf scout.
Kai walked right up to the wooden bars and rested his hands casually against the smooth wood.
"So, are you going to tell me your name now?" Kai asked, resting his chin on his hands and giving her a friendly smile.
"Because we just walked for an entire hour together, and I feel like we have a really strong connection going on here. It is honestly rude to lock a guy up without even introducing yourself properly."
The elf scout let out a long sigh and rolled her eyes.
"You are a prisoner waiting for judgment from the high priestess, so you do not need to know anything about me. Just sit down on the moss and stay quiet until you are called."
"I am not really a sitting quietly kind of guy," Kai replied smoothly.
"And I cannot just keep calling you 'hey you' or 'miss busty scout' in my head. It feels super disrespectful to a woman of your obvious elite status. So what is it? Elara? Faelen? Wait, do not tell me. You look like a Lyra to me."
Her pointy ears twitched slightly, and her green eyes narrowed into a fierce glare.
"My name is Lyra, but you are forbidden from speaking it with your filthy human mouth."
"Lyra," Kai repeated slowly, letting the name roll off his tongue on purpose.
"That is a really beautiful name. It totally fits someone with your amazing figure and scary attitude."
"I told you to shut your mouth," Lyra snapped back, dropping her arms from under her chest and resting her hand directly on the grip of her hunting knife.
"I am not going to tolerate your disgusting human flirting while I am on official guard duty."
Her pale cheeks were already turning a very pink shade.
She was clearly not used to dealing with a guy who just casually ignored her threats and complimented her body out loud.
Elf guys were probably super strict and formal all the time, so dealing with a shameless gamer like Kai was totally overloading her social programming.
Kai noticed her blushing face and smiled even wider. He was just about to drop another cheesy pickup line when a small blue screen suddenly popped up right in the corner of his vision.
[Target flustered.]
[Bond +0.5]
[Mana +5]
Kai blinked hard and stared at the floating yellow text.
'Wait a second,' Kai thought, completely amazed by the broken mechanics of his own system.
'I do not even have to touch her to get points? I just have to annoy her until she gets super embarrassed?'
This was the greatest exploit he had ever discovered in his entire life.
The Greed Feast system was originally designed for a hardcore adult game, so it basically rewarded the player for building up sexual tension and intimacy with the female characters.
But because Lyra was an arrogant elf who thought humans were completely beneath her, just talking to her casually and making her blush was registering as a massive intimacy spike in the system code.
He didn't have to risk kissing her and triggering a critical overload.
"You know, Lyra," Kai started again, his voice dropping to a much lower and teasing tone.
"You keep touching that knife like you want to stab me, but I bet you volunteered to watch me because you are actually super bored. I bet all the guys in this village are totally stiff and never actually tell you how pretty you look in that leather armour."
"That is complete nonsense," Lyra hissed, her blush spreading all the way to the tips of her long ears.
"The warriors of the village are honourable and respectful. They do not behave like feral beasts driven by base desires."
"Yeah, that sounds boring," Kai laughed, leaning closer to the gaps in the wooden bars.
"Honourable and respectful is just a nice way of saying they do not know how to treat a woman who looks like you. You are packing way too much heat for a boring elf guy to handle. That is exactly why you are blushing right now just from a human giving you a little bit of attention."
"I am not blushing!" Lyra practically yelled, taking a step closer to the cell before stopping herself.
"It is just the magical lighting from the trees reflecting off my skin. You are completely delusional, human."
[Target is highly embarrassed.]
[Bond +0.2]
[Mana +10]
'Oh yeah, this is definitely the best farming spot in the whole game,' Kai thought with a wicked smirk as the notifications kept chiming quietly in his head.
"If it is just the lighting, then why are you getting so defensive about it?" Kai teased, crossing his arms and mirroring her earlier stance.
"You are the one holding all the cards here. You have the weapons, the keys, and I am just a filthy stray locked in a wooden cage. But you are out there sweating and getting all flustered just because I noticed you are gorgeous. It is actually really cute."
Lyra looked like she wanted to murder him, but she also looked completely frozen in place.
She opened her mouth to yell another strict command, but nothing came out. She just stood there gripping her knife, her chest heaving slightly as she glared at him through the thick roots.
"You are a terrible, infuriating creature," Lyra finally whispered, completely dropping the loud guard persona.
"I am just honest," Kai replied smoothly, giving her a slow wink.
"And you have to admit, standing out there talking to me is way more entertaining than sitting in a tree looking for naked vampires. So why don't you come a little closer to the bars and tell me more about yourself?"
Lyra scoffed loudly and turned her face away, trying her hardest to look completely uninterested in his offer.
But she didn't walk away from the cell, and she didn't tell him to shut up again.
Kai checked his system screen one more time and saw her bond meter slowly ticking upward.
He was perfectly content to stay locked in this magical wooden cell all night long if it meant he could keep exploiting this hilarious glitch and levelling up his stats without putting his life in actual danger.