Kai froze completely, keeping his hands exactly where they were because the sharp arrowhead was pointed right between his eyes.
He slowly looked up at the elf crouching on the branch above him, and his gamer brain instantly started processing her character design.
Everyone who played fantasy games knew exactly how elf genetics worked.
They could be two hundred years old, but they always looked youthful and totally non-milfy.
But the usual lore always made them super slender and flat, like graceful little tree spirits.
The white-haired elf aiming a bow at him right now completely threw that standard trope out the window.
She was busty, packing an incredibly large chest that strained against her light leather armour.
It honestly looked like her top was fighting a losing battle against her boobs every time she pulled the bowstring back.
'I really need to thank whoever designed the character models for this forest zone,' Kai thought, doing his best not to stare directly at her chest while a weapon was pointed at his face.
"I am not moving," Kai said slowly, opening his empty hands to show he wasn't a threat.
"I just dropped out of the sky a few minutes ago, so I am just as confused as you are right now."
The elf jumped down from the high branch and landed on the snow without making a single sound.
She kept her bow drawn tight, her bright green eyes glaring at him with pure disgust.
"Do not speak unless I ask you a question, human," she ordered, wrinkling her perfect nose.
"You reek of monster blood and sweat. Keep your distance from me."
"That is fair," Kai nodded, taking a very slow step back to give her some space.
"I had a really rough flight here. But since you are pointing a deadly weapon at my head, can I at least get your name?"
"You are infected with the human plague of ignorance," she scoffed, using her bow to point deeper into the dark woods.
"Turn around and start walking. You are trespassing in the Northernwood, and the high priestess will decide what to do with a filthy stray like you."
Kai didn't argue because getting taken to an elf camp sounded way better than wandering around a forest filled with highly aroused wolves.
He turned around and started walking through the bushes, keeping his pace slow, so he wouldn't accidentally trigger her trigger finger.
But walking in complete silence was never really his style, especially when he was being escorted by a gorgeous woman.
"So," Kai started, looking back over his shoulder with a casual smile.
"Are you going to tell me what is going on with the wildlife around here? Because I just passed three different direwolves humping random trees and rocks. Is it mating season, or did someone drop a love potion in the local water supply?"
The elf let out a sharp sigh of annoyance.
"Do not look at me. Keep your eyes forward, human. And the beasts are acting feral because the mana lines in this sector are corrupted. It is none of your concern what happens in our woods."
"It kind of is my concern when I have to share the woods with them," Kai laughed, totally ignoring her order to look forward.
"But I have to say, it is pretty distracting. Almost as distracting as you are. I have met a lot of people since I got here, but you definitely have the best figure I have seen so far."
'Might as well test the waters,' Kai thought, waiting to see if his Greed Feast system would pop up with an intimacy warning.
The elf just glared at him, clearly not used to prisoners openly flirting with her.
"Your words are vile. If you make another disgusting comment about my body, I will put this arrow straight through your knee and drag you the rest of the way by your hair."
"Okay, message received," Kai said smoothly, putting his hands back up in mock surrender.
"No compliments allowed. But you have to admit, keeping a guy with my kind of charm locked up is just bad hospitality."
She treated him like a plague the entire walk, staying at least ten feet behind him and keeping her bow raised the whole time.
Whenever he tried to slow down and walk next to her, she would just snap a warning and tell him to keep his filthy human germs away from her elven aura.
"You know, you keep calling me filthy, but I actually just took a really nice bath in a hot spring before I got kidnapped," Kai pointed out as he ducked under a low-hanging branch.
"I am probably the cleanest human you will ever meet."
"That is highly doubtful," she replied coldly.
Humans are naturally dirty creatures who ruin everything they touch. The fact that you survived falling into our forest is just an unfortunate accident that we will correct soon enough."
"You are really playing hard to get," Kai teased, brushing some snow off his shoulder.
"I bet you are actually a sweetheart once someone gets to know you. What is your age anyway? Like two hundred? Because you look like you are in your early twenties, and your skin routine is obviously doing wonders."
"I am one hundred and forty," she snapped back before she could stop herself.
She immediately looked annoyed that she actually answered his stupid question.
"And I do not need a human evaluating my appearance."
'Got her,' Kai thought with a wicked smirk.
'She is acting tough, but she is actually responding to the bait.'
Kai kept pushing his luck because he figured out pretty quickly that her threats were mostly just talk. If she really wanted to shoot him, she would have done it back at the tree instead of taking him prisoner.
"One hundred and forty is a great age," Kai kept going, perfectly dodging a snowy root on the ground.
"You have all that life experience, but you still look amazing in that armour. I bet the other elf guys are totally intimidated by you. That is why you are out here patrolling all by yourself, right?"
"I am patrolling alone because I am the best scout in my unit," she hissed, clearly getting flustered by his relentless talking.
"Now shut your mouth before I freeze your tongue."
Kai just smiled and faced forward again.
He didn't see any system screens popping up yet, which meant verbal flirting wasn't enough to trigger his Greed Feast skill on this specific target.
He probably needed to get a lot closer and break through her disgusted attitude before the system would register any actual intimacy.
That was totally fine with him, because figuring out the exact dialogue paths to romance a hostile elf scout sounded like a really fun side quest.
They kept walking for another hour through the dense trees until the dark forest slowly started to change.
The normal trees gave way to glowing white trees with silver leaves that actually lit up the path.
Kai could see tiny wooden bridges connecting the high branches, and beautiful carved treehouses hidden perfectly within the glowing foliage.
They had finally reached the edge of the elven territory, and Kai was ready to see what kind of new exploits he could find in a village full of beautiful elves.