...Master. Master…
What is the matter? You look pale as a ghost…
What? I lied to you?
I have not told you a single falsehood, Master.
Ahh, about the beast?
That means you were seeing her memories, then?
Is that so…? That must have been quite difficult to witness.
But I assure you, I have told you no lies.
Bestia was convinced he was a beast.
And as a servant of this house, it is my responsibility to present my former master to you as he saw himself.
This would have been a very different story… had you not discovered the truth.
A beast meets a white-haired girl and learns humanity
The tale would have been far easier on you, I'm sure.
By remaining in the dark… and seeing the story through his eyes alone… you would not have had to witness that poor girl's miserable death.
And that, perhaps, would have been better for you…
But the reality you observed through her eyes changes the "truth" of his tale.
And it sounds like the visions you had did not run in parallel to the events I described for you, but took place slightly earlier in time.
Which means that, yes…
her fate was set in stone well before you ever saw it.
I do have to wonder, though–
why did Bestia believe the woman to be a beast like him?
Perhaps it was because her hair, eye, and skin color were similar to his own.
The poor young woman who called upon the mansion did, indeed, resemble Bestia.
They were of a similar race.
Half of her blood was of the same race as his.
But was that the only reason? Would that be enough for him to mistake her for a beast?
I have my own theory–his memories may have played a role.
I suspect Bestia was afraid the memories from when he was "human" would cause him to waver.
But that is simply my own speculation. Perhaps he had merely lost his grip on reality.
How well have you come to understand Bestia, Master?
You do appear to think he was an ordinary human who believed himself to be a beast.
But where… does the line between man and beast truly lie?
That I do not know.
Master, if–like Bestia–you were to lose your memories and endure persecution and degradation until you broke…
would you still remember those you care for?
…Now, our tale is not yet over. The web of misfortune was tightly, oh so tightly entangled.
It could not be unraveled.
Let us return now from her memories to the point we left off in our story.
Just after the White-Haired Girl had disrobed, showing Bestia the difference between her and him.
This was, yes, several days following the young woman's death. The blood in the hall had been cleaned up, and there was no trace of it any longer.
He had made a tremendous mistake–
though the only people aware of that mistake are you and I.
There is, perhaps, a chance the White-Haired Girl had realized, but she knew nothing of the woman.
So I entreat you not to fault the White-Haired Girl for trying to be kind to Bestia.
She is without sin–in any and all times.
The beast–no, the man made the White-Haired Girl put her clothes back on.
He seemed to have calmed down a bit.
After examining her body and comparing it with his own, he was once again coming to think he might not be a beast.
In the past, he would have rejoiced to have proof of his own humanity.
However, it was for him then the seed of several new doubts.
— You… said I am human…
— Yes.
— Do you still believe this?
— I certainly do. You are simply mistaken. You believe yourself to be a beast because of what the villagers said.
— Why did they call me a beast?
— If… If I were able to see, I could surely answer all your questions. But I cannot… so all I can offer you is my conjecture.
— Go on. Tell me.
— I suspect that you do not come from this country. No, you do not come from this continent. You came to this continent from far, far away–perhaps even across the seas. This land has been cast into turmoil by the war. Fortunately, no fighting reached the village, but… it has blocked trade routes, stripped them of their independence, and cast a dark shadow over their hope. They are… quite devastated, I imagine. And then, you showed up. From what I have heard, this area is not particularly friendly to people from other countries. Even less so those from another continent. I doubt they know much about distant lands, so they had probably never seen someone like you before. But in addition, you would have been wearied and worn. I guess you were emaciated, wasting away. Enough so that you did not even look like yourself. Do you remember how you arrived at the village?
— When I woke up, I was on the beach… I don't remember anything before that… My joints all ached, and I was incredibly thirsty… I was in so much pain… I sought help. But… nothing I said got through to the villagers. I… did not understand what they said either.
— But the one thing you did understand was that they were calling you "bestia."
— Right. And I also understood that the word was used to describe beasts. The way they looked at me… it wasn't normal! So I…
— I imagine, at first, they simply didn't want the trouble. They didn't actually think you were a beast… simply that his wretched man, unfamiliar in appearance, who had washed ashore resembled a beast.
— …Washed ashore?
— You were in an accident, were you not? While crossing the sea.
— I– I do not remember… I can't remember.
"No… I mustn't remember… If I am not a beast… that means the other beast… wasn't one either… What did the beast look like? It looked… somehow similar to me. Its hair color, skin color, eye color… And the way it spoke seemed vaguely familiar. Which means… it was… It was… I cannot accept that! If I do… then that means… I have done something terrible…"
— No!
— What…?
— I– They did call me a beast. I was, in fact, a beast.
— As I've been saying, that's because–
— Tell me I'm a beast, please! Let me remain a beast!
How do you imagine he saw the world? I cannot even begin to fathom.
But you can never know what someone else sees. And there is nothing to say they see the same thing as you.
As you and I have seen different things…
so too did the man and his lover see different things.
Or perchance the true shape of the world is visible only through the White-Haired Girl's sightless eyes.
Do you think the reason he so stubbornly rejected his human memories is because he had taken the life of his beloved?
I, personally, believe that there was more to it than that.
…..
Some day, you shall remember.
You shall remember everything.
I will not allow you to avert your eyes.
Remember
that you have always,
always been a beast,
incapable of saving anyone–
only of taking.
Remember,
and suffer.
Agonize.
Writhe.
Anguish.
Grieve.
Suffer.
…..
— Such a damned shame. Our homeland is but a stone's throw away and they still won't let us in. Just how long are they going to maintain this stance? Regrettable, isn't it, son?
— Yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly, Captain Asama.
— We can make it this far on the white men's ship, but they give no response to our missives. I'm not sure it's even reaching the magistrate's hands… Is it so difficult to be even the slightest bit accommodating to your fellow countrymen? They seem to be treating the white men rather poorly as well. I heard they imprison them on a tiny, man-made island. That's no way to make friends… Well, all things considered, we can hardly call this our homeland anymore, anyway. For how many generations has your family lived overseas, again?
— I am the third.
— I see… Then I doubt you have any attachment to this land.
— That's… not true. I may never have the opportunity to set foot on her soil… but my spirit dwells within this land. My grandfather has told me much about this country. Of her four rich, vibrant seasons and boundless beauty. I am deeply grateful that you invited me on this voyage to visit her, Captain Asama. I have finally, if only at a distance, laid eyes upon my home.
— I cannot say when this era may draw to a close, but I hope the time comes when we can proudly proclaim her our motherland. "You can't find food this good back home!" Haha… I eagerly await the day that becomes true.
— Indeed. As do I.
…..
I've lied to her.
She believes I was born in the Orient,
but in truth, I have never once set foot in that country.
I was born in Europe.
My family has not been permitted to return since my grandparents left.
I can still remember as clear as day
the look of profound regret on my grandfather's face as he departed from this world.
He bequeathed unto me a katana,
and on that day,
that blade became the one object binding me to my homeland.
…
I could not bring myself to tell her that I am disallowed to return home.
I did not want her to think that I had been forsaken by my country–
that my country would do such a thing.
However…
some part of me believes there was more to it than that…
…..
— A smuggler?
—Yeah. I never would have expected it–not on this ship. One of the crew was conspiring with a government official. He hid unreported goods onboard and delivered them in secret.
— What goods?
— Silver coins. Spanish coins trade for more than they're worth as currency. The official was sentenced to commit seppuku… but we are responsible for our own crew's punishment. I'm still trying to decide how to handle it…
— Have him commit seppuku as well. This sailor has brought shame upon the entire ship. If he is made to take responsibility for his actions, then perhaps we can minimize the damage to our reputation.
— You make a fair point… Unfortunately, he is not of this land. I doubt he is familiar with the ritual.
— Then I shall serve as his second and ensure he dies without issue.
— Have you lost your mind?
— I have been trained in the art. It is unlikely I should fail.
— You are not a sumarai, though…
— I was born into a family of samurai. At least, it was until three generations ago. But that blood still courses through my veins.
— Very well, then. That is how we shall do it.
…..
— We now commence the ritual seppuku of our fellow crewman Seedorf. Seedorf has, in violation of restrictions set in place by the shogunate, committed the grave crime of smuggling prohibited goods into the country. In order to atone for this betrayal of the trust of both nations… he vows to take his life here before you. Do you have any last words? I deeply regret that we should have to lose a companion, with whom we traveled the seven seas, in this manner. Do it.
— …wasn't me.
— …What?
— It wasn't me! I've been set up! I didn't smuggle anything! I don't know anything about any silver coins! I've been framed! Believe me! Why should I have to slice my own–...!
— Y-Yukimasa… he said the accusations were false!
— Lies to escape punishment. I could not allow him to continue shaming himself, and us, when his fate was already decided. It would only serve to tarnish this ship's honor.
— B-But…
— An investigation was performed… It is our duty to trust those results.
— Y– You're right… Good work. Now, this needs to be cleaned up…
— Yes, sir…
— I'm sure I was mistaken, but I would like to ask you anyway… Were you… smiling as you did it?
— You… must have been seeing things.
…..
Was that really the only reason…
I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth?
…..