— Hahh, ahh, aaaah! Wh-What… What was that dream?! Was that… Was that from my memories?! Ah, ahh, n-no! No! A– Asama? I-I've never met that man! Or that woman! Aaaah, aaaahhhh, no, no, no, I was, I was just, no, it wasn't me, I-I-I-I don't–! IIIIIIII– IIII– I dooooooooooon't–! Don't remember… I don't remember anything! Not a thing! Not a single thing! I am a beast! I'm a beast, not a human! I don't need those memories! Ngh, nngh, nnnnh, nnnnrgh, nnnngh! A– Are you there, ********?! Are you there?! Where are you, ********?! Come– Come to me, be with me! Peeeeace… my peeeeeeeeace! … Where are you…? Where have you gone?! Why?! Why are you not at my side?! Aaahhh, aahh… aaaahhh…! Don't remember anything, stop remembering!
…..
— Is that… a silver coin? Spanish silver…
Some weeks after we set off back west, I find a silver coin in the ship's hold.
I don't know if it got overlooked or dropped when transporting the rest, but there's just one. The first thing I think when I find it is that I should report it to Captain Asama.
But instead…
I slip the coin into my pocket…
and take my leave of the hold, as if nothing ever happened.
Not for the purpose of smuggling it for some extra cash;
it only has extra value in the East. Back West, it's worth nothing more than its designated value as currency.
So again, it's not for want of money.
…..
— Well, damn… It seems Seedort might have been innocent after all…
— Perhaps so. And if he had no hand in the smuggling…then I have done a horribly regrettable thing.
— No… as you said, an investigation was conducted. We had no choice but to believe the information we were given. You mustn't blame yourself. I feel bad for putting such an unpleasant responsibility on you.
— No at all… How do we handle this?
— I can't believe a silver coin was found in someone else's luggage.
— It would be best to handle this internally. Publicly, we have already made our amends with Seedorf's death.
— That's true…
— Though it would be prudent to try and discover where he is acquiring the coins… so as to prevent another such incident. Should one of our crew be caught smuggling again, he will not be the only one asked to take responsibility. I have great sympathy for you, Captain Asama…
— This is quite the headache. I can't imagine he would give up his connections just because we asked…
— We can force him. If he doesn't want to talk, then we can give him some encouragement.
— But… I coudln't…
— Worry not, Captain Asama. I shall take care of the… dirty work. You needn't trouble yourself with anything, Captain. Leave it all to me… Captain.
— Very well. I leave this in your hands, Yukimasa.
— Yes, sir.
…..
— How are you feeling?
— H-Hey! Untie me! What's the meaning of this?!
— A silver coin was discovered in your luggage.
— Huh…? A silver coin…?
— Interesting. It would seem you have quite a knack for acting.
— Hold on, I don't follow… I thought the smuggling problem was taken care of!
— Seedorf wasn't the one doing the smuggling. It was you.
— Like hell! I've never seen any damn silver coins! This is some kind of mistake! Check my bags again!
— A coin was found in your luggage, regrettably. Captain Asama saw it himself.
— Lies! I swear I've never touched one!
— Is that so?
— I swear! Never once! Please believe me! I'm no smuggler! I-I've done good work! Even on this expedition! You know I'm not someone who would get involved by smuggling!
— I don't know… what kind of person anyone is. We may have known each other for years… but that doesn't mean I have any way of knowing… what you think in private, how you feel–what kind of person you are.
— You–!
— You smuggled the coins, didn't you?
— I didn't! I had nothing to do with it!
— Who was your supplier?
— I'm telling you! I'm no smuggler!
— It puts Captain Asama in an uncomfortable position if you don't talk. We can't risk damaging our homeland's trust any further.
— I swear! I swear to God, I had nothing to do with it!
— So you won't tell?
— How can I tell you something I know nothing about?!
— I see…
— Y-You believe me…?
— So it's very, very important information. Enough so that you can't give it up so easily… In which case, I'll just do what I have to do until you talk.
— Wha– What are you… Ngh!
— Whenever you're ready to talk, let me know. I'll stop right away.
— H-Hey! Stop! What are you–!
— Quite the thick fingers you have.
— L-L-Let go! What are you–?!
— But it's all meat–your bones aren't thicker than anyone else's.
— Nnrrgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! M-My– My fingerrrrrrrr!
— Oh, don't start screaming just yet. That was just the first–your little finger. Next is your ring finger.
— S-Stop! Please, don't! I'm begging you!
— Are you ready to talk?
— I-I told you, I don't know anything!
— Too bad.
— NNNGAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
— G-Graaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
— Your middle finger.
— D-Do– Don't–! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
— Your right hand is going to be useless if you don't start talking soon.
— Ahh, aaaah, ah, aaaah…! Wh-What do… you want… me to tell you…? I swear… I had nothing to do with it…
— What has you so stubbornly refusing to talk? Is your supplier really worth going to such lengths to protect?
— No, I can't tell you… what I don't know… That's–GRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
— All that's left is your thumb.
— Nnn, nrgh… aahhhh…H-Help… s-someone, get me–
— Just so we're perfectly clear, everyone on board knows what you did. No one's going to come to a smuggler's aid.
— G-God… I can't take any more of this! Please, stop!
— Ready to talk?
— Nnh… rgh…
— What will it be?
— I– I'll talk… O-Okay, I'll talk…
— If anything you tell me is a lie… you can consider your life forfeit. Are you ready to tell me the truth? We will investigate the details of your confession; if you like, we will find out. Understood?
— B-But… I…
— Speak.
— But…
— Or can't you?
— I don't know anything!
— That's a shame.
— NnnnnnnnnnnnnnghaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
— Ahh, well, you won't be using your right hand ever again.
— Ahh… aaaahhhnnnng… nnnngh…!
— Although, there are still five fingers on your left. Are you in pain?
— Nnnngh…!
— Do you want me to stop?
— Y-Yes… please…
— All right.
— AAAAAAAAHHH, AAAH, AAAAAAAAHH!
— Four left.
— Nnn, rgh, gggggggghh!
— That is quite the face. I wish I could show it to you in a mirror.
— Wh– Wh-What… is wrong… with you?! Y– You monster!
— I'm not doing this because I want to. You're the one forcing my hand refusing to talk. Now go on, spit it out.
— Y-You wouldn't believe… anything I said anyway! How long… have you been doing this…?!
— You're the first.
— Liar! You sick bastard!
— It's the truth, though.
— Then why… why are you smiling?! Ngggh, grh, aaaah… ah, aaaahh!
— Three left. What'll it be? Will you tell me everything, no lies and no omissions?
— It wasn't me! It wasn't me! I didn't do anything! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
— Two left. It's surprising how easily they break.
— N-Noooooooooooooooooooooo! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
— This is the last one.
— Aaah, aaaahh, aahh… aaaaaaaahhh… Ahh… aaaah… it burns… it burns… My fingers… are on fire…!
— Now… what next?
— It burns, it burns, it burns…
— Are you listening?
— Mnh, nnnnnnnnrhn…
— Hello?
— Aaaah… aaaahhhh…
— This over a few broken fingers?
— Mnh, nnh, ggh, ngrh…
— Need me to wake you up?
— Ahh, aaaah…
— Let me tell you something… I'm the one who put the coin in your luggage. Of course you don't know anything.
— Ah, aaah, ahhh… S-Someone! Anyone! Get in here! The silver count wasn't–Ggh, rggh…!
— Don't go shouting things you'll regret.
— Nngh, ggggh!
— It's hard to fight back… with your hands in that condition. Having trouble breathing? Huh? Well, are you? You need air?
— Ngh, ah… ah…
— I guess it's hard to talk with my hands around your throat, huh?
— Mhh… mnhhhh… nnnh…
— Do you want air?
— Mhn, nnh, nnnh!
— All right.
— Then you can have some air.
— Hah, hahhh! Hahh, haaah! Hah! Hhhah! S-Someone… Anyone… Please, get in–...!
— You just don't learn.
— Ngh, rgh, agh, ahhh…!
I can see the words written on his face:
"Why"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Why…?"
— That is a good question… I'm not ever sure myself.
— Agh… ggh! Ah… ahh… ahh… …
— Hey. Answer me. Well, damn. I missed the opportunity to use my katana.
I toss the man's body overboard.
My story will be that he sneaked out while I wasn't looking…
and threw himself into the sea.
As I watch the sack of flesh sink into the depths…
I'm thoroughly shocked to realize I don't feel the slightest bit bad about what I've done.
No regret, no remorse–nothing.
I comprehend…
that the things I've done are reprehensible.
That they're evil.
But that knowledge wasn't sufficient to restrain my urges.
There's an itch I've felt deep within my chest ever since the moment my blade sunk its teeth into Seedorf's neck.
I don't know what to call it.
But I feel… like I'm floating. Like everything swirling about inside me has been unleashed–set free.
There's also an edge of anxiety, though.
If I continue down this path, what might I transform into?
Despite feeling not the slightest bit guilty about the horrible things I've done…
I still fear this life I've made slipping away from me.
I want something to anchor me.
What, exactly, am I?
Is this what I wanted to become? The kind of man who can take another's life without flinching…
fully aware of his actions?
And if that's truly what I am…
perhaps it would make things easier if I did lose everything.
.....
— O-Oh, don't scare me like that! And where did you pick up a word like "nijntje"? I never took you for someone so pretentious!
— Haha… I'm sorry. You just looked so much like a rabbit there, yo way you were tossing your head back and forth, looking around for me.
— Oh, you… "Nijntje" is something you call a child. I'm not a little girl anymore.
— I'm sorry, really. Don't be so mad, Pauline.
— Hehe. I'm not mad at all.
— It's… It's been a year and a half! We finally get to see each other again!
— That we do.
— Did you have any trouble out at sea? Did you fall ill, or get caught in a storm, or run into any kind of danger at all?
— No, there was no trouble. Everything went fine, without incident. The sea god was watching over us, I suppose.
.....
— Rrrgh… rrrgh… rrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
"I don't know… I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! What…. What am I? Who am I? Who– Who…"
— What is this room…? What are those… colored windows? Were those here before… in the mansion? Ah… aaah… aaAAaah… I know what this is… It's an angel. The angel… The angel is– It's looking… looking at me… and laughing… The angel… is looking down… on me… and laughing… Rgh… grrrrh… rrrrrrrrgh… NNNNGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRHHH! Hahh, hahh… haah, hahh… hahh…
— What are… you doing…?
— The angel… The angel is laughing at me… The angel… So I, I… I, the angel… You. You… Where were you…?
— I went to the kitchen… to get a drink of water. You have nothing to worry about. I will not run away from you.
— I-I– I am not human. Am I? I'm not a human…
— You are–
— –Not a human!
— You are… you. It's all right. I imagine it's quite disconcerting, having lost your memories. But no matter what happens, you will always be you. Don't be afraid.
"Are those… the words of encouragement I truly wanted to hear? Am I… Am I afraid of being myself? I don't know… Don't think about it… I am a beast. A beast with no memories!