Chapter 39: The Things She Buried
Nyra had never felt like this before.
Not in battle.
Not in training.
Not ever.
Her breathing
Was uneven.
Her thoughts
Loud.
And the control she had relied on her entire life.
Was slipping.
"…Get up."
Kade's voice cut through the chaos.
Nyra didn't move.
She was still on one knee.
Her hand pressed against the fractured ground
Trying to steady herself.
Trying to contain it.
Inside her
The resonance surged.
Not violently.
But insistently.
Like something that had been locked away
Was finally pushing back.
"…I told you," she said through clenched teeth,
"…I can control it."
Kade stepped closer.
"No."
A pause.
"You can hide it."
That word
Hit deeper than the rest.
Nyra's fingers tightened against the ground.
"…That's not the same thing."
"It is," Kade said calmly.
The pressure returned.
Stronger.
Not physical.
Not external.
Internal.
Her thoughts fractured
Memories rising
Unwanted.
Uncontrolled.
"Focus."
That voice again.
Sharp.
Cold.
The woman.
"Control is everything."
"Emotion is weakness."
Nyra's breathing hitched.
"…Stop."
But it didn't.
The world shifted again.
The room returned.
But this time
It wasn't clean.
It was broken.
Cracks ran along the walls.
The floor uneven.
And at the center
The younger Nyra stood again.
But she wasn't perfect this time.
Her breathing uneven.
Her stance unstable.
Across from her
The woman stood.
Watching.
"…You're slipping," she said.
The younger Nyra shook her head.
"…No."
"Again."
She raised her hand
Tried to form the resonance
It surged.
Too fast.
Too much.
It broke again.
The room trembled.
The woman didn't move.
Didn't react.
"…Why can't you control it?" she asked.
Silence.
The younger Nyra's voice shook.
"…I am."
"No," the woman said.
"You're afraid."
The words echoed.
Back in the present
Nyra froze.
That word again.
Afraid.
"…I'm not afraid," she whispered.
But her voice
Wasn't steady anymore.
The pressure increased again.
Her resonance surged
Harder this time.
It wasn't contained.
It wasn't shaped.
It was breaking out.
Nyra cried out
Her body tensing
Her control shattering
"I said I'm not—!"
The words cut off.
Because she felt it.
Not the power.
The emotion.
Fear.
Real.
Raw.
Her breath broke completely.
"…I couldn't stop it," she said quietly.
The memory shifted.
The broken room deepened.
Something else.
Something she had buried deeper.
After the failure.
The same woman stood before her.
Silent.
Disappointed.
"…You're unstable," she said.
The younger Nyra stood still.
Perfect posture.
But her eyes
Trembled.
"I can fix it," she said.
A pause.
"…You don't fix weakness," the woman replied.
Silence.
"You remove it."
The words echoed.
Nyra's breath caught.
"…How?" the younger version asked.
The woman stepped closer.
"You stop feeling."
Silence.
And just like that
Everything changed.
The younger Nyra's expression went still.
Empty.
Controlled.
Perfect.
Back in the present
Nyra's hands shook.
"…I chose that," she said.
Not Kade.
Not the woman.
Her.
"I chose to suppress it," she said again.
The realization hit hard.
It wasn't forced.
It wasn't imposed.
It was a decision.
To survive.
To be perfect.
To never feel that failure again.
Kade stepped closer.
"…And now?" he asked.
Nyra didn't answer immediately.
The power inside her surged again
But this time
She didn't force it down.
Her breathing was still uneven.
Still unstable.
But she didn't suppress it.
She let it exist.
The fear.
The anger.
The loss of control.
All of it.
"…It's still there," she said.
Kade nodded.
"Yes."
Nyra's hands tightened slightly.
"…And I hate it."
A faint pause.
"…Good," Kade said.
Nyra blinked.
"…What?"
Kade's gaze didn't change.
"If you didn't, it wouldn't matter."
Silence.
The power surged again
But this time
It didn't break.
It didn't explode.
It moved.
Unstable.
But present.
Nyra stood slowly.
Her body still trembling slightly.
But she wasn't forcing it down anymore.
"…So I just let it exist?" she asked.
Kade nodded.
"For now."
Nyra exhaled slowly.
"…That feels worse."
Kade's answer was immediate.
"It is."
A long silence followed.
Kael watched carefully.
Bram's expression was serious.
Lira's usual energy was gone, replaced by something quieter.
Tovin observed, analyzing every detail.
Nyra looked at her hands.
The faint glow beneath her skin
Was different now.
Not perfectly shaped.
Not fully controlled.
But real.
"…Again," she said.
Kade studied her.
Then nodded once.
"Again."
The pressure returned.
But this time
Nyra didn't suppress it.
She faced it.
And for the first time
She didn't look perfect.
But she looked stronger.
Because now
She wasn't hiding anymore.