I shouldn't have pretended to be drunk, now I'm in a me caused mess. But Riley is right. I should keep away from him, not gotten within his sight, I should have kept away from him. Right now when he looks at me, does he only think of sex? I don't want that... sincerely speaking though, some part of me is fighting to make it happen. I feel like I want it to win.
But again, I don't want him hurt because of me. Maybe this wasn't the best plan but this was the only thing I thought of that would make me get close to him, make him talk to me. I know Riley knows I am not that drunk. Infact, I'd thought he'd tell him straight about it. But maybe Riley still doesn't want to hurt me that much, or maybe it's just mere pity. Or big thing, he wants to know how things pans out.
"I'll get you a cab. Where are you headed?"
Really now? He wanted Taffy to plan the place he'd get pounded? He looked like he wanted to hide far away as Riley smiled before getting out his wallet.
"I know a place. I have a key card, just make sure you return it."
"Okay, thank you!"
He was shaking. Is this one way of making him think through about what he was going to do? Not good Riley, not good. If that had come from Quint, I wouldn't have thought twice but Riley? He liked making people more comfortable.
"Should I help you carry him? I know how heavy he is."
"What of Blane?"
"He's lighter, you hold him."
The exchange was obviously fast as I was sober and the first thing he whispered was I am going to finish you off. Well, I think I am used to those kind words of encouragement from him.
I just hadn't expected the keycard he'd given was to my place, there are a lot of places he can stash us for the night damn it! Good thing I had cleaned house during that short break or else that would have been awkward, wait, had he known about my keeping of someone's things? Was this a way of opening Taffy's eyes?
The cab driver helped haul me to the elevator but I couldn't help but feel how tense Taffy was. Was he forcing himself or was he second-guessing himself? Second-guessing would be great because I really didn't want to have sex with him in this kind of situation where I was still lying to him. I just hope the advice from that old man in white would work this time and I wouldn't fall into temptation.
"Thank you!"
"You know, such a guy isn't a keeper. Find someone who cares about you."
"I know, thank you!"
The hell is wrong with this guy? He was paid to do his thing and leave not give unnecessary advice. I frowned as the elevator doors closed.
"When will you stop pretending?"
What? Did he know?
"Let's talk about what happened that time, we both know we weren't drunk so, do you still have that drug?"
I had been leaning away from him, my eyes closed but I couldn't stop myself from opening them wide after those words.
"What?"
"I'd thought you were drunk, that way this would have happened without trouble but you are more than sober, do you have it or not?"
"No one just carries drugs on them Taffy."
"So, are they in your apartment?"
"How do you know it's mine?"
"Unfortunately, Blane can read Riley as much as Riley can and he gave me little things to note. It was so I could keep me away from you. The way he was talking made me know you were sober, the way you reacted made me know this place wasn't his."
So, when Riley told me those two were good at reading people, he was right...as always. Right now though,
"I don't have it."
The elevator dinged and the door opened to the topmost floor. He looked around before stepping out and walking to the door right ahead, got the keycard out and opened it.
From afar, he seemed ready to get into whatever it was strutting, seemingly with confidence but I could see him tremble, I could hear his breathing that came in short tufts. I am sure his heart is beating fast and he wants off this train but he'd talked big and was going through with it. I need to be the bigger person.
"It's an open plan, the living room, the dining and the kitchen. That door is the master bedroom, I have two spares though don't step into the right one."
"Why?"
"It's Riley and Quint's and they hate people going through their stuff."
"Riley and Quint?"
"Yeah!"
"Okay! And the left?"
"Is full of art supplies and some clutters."
My house was basically the place where Rashid and Kristoff stored their clutter. When Rashid is sad he paints, when he's happy he paints, when he is bored, when he does something interesting... everything was his muse...until lately came a Kaleb who was his new muse. And because Riley or Quint don't come here often, this has become his gallery.
Quint goes to his house every other time so that place is clean without someone's new obsession.
Doesn't he think I have a mouth? And why the hell does he think they would have a problem with his new muse? They might just dig into his background, try to find loopholes to exploit but it won't be a problem.
"That's the bathroom, it has everything you'll need you can shower first. I'll use the one in the clatter room."
"Do you have wine?"
"I don't think we want to do this now Taffy. I don't want you doing this to yourself."
"I want to though. I thought you'd run forth and jump to it."
"Is that how you see me?"
"You pretend you like me when you don't. I might just be different because apparently I am in the circle but nothing more. I want it, I am giving myself over. You won't have to say you came on to me."
Is this what he really thinks of me, as a sex machine or something? As for liking him, I really have no answer to that. But that doesn't mean I want him killing his dignity for this. Maybe he should find someone who really likes him.
"Was I your first?"
"Obviously not, you should have known that already."
I should, but I don't remember anything from that damn night.
"If I am not your first, it means you don't have to cling to me this much. We can have sex, but that is when you really want to not when you're forcing yourself to do it. Now, you go shower. My clothes are a bit large but make do, choose any you'd like. I'll get you clothes tomorrow."