"...Huh?"
Carlisle's confused tone made Subaru's Fingers tremble slightly. She, of course, knew how absurd this request was, but she stubbornly continued.
"After leaving the Royal Capital, we'll immediately plan a route to Kararagi... Ah, of course, if Carlisle has somewhere else he wants to go, we can adjust the route..." Her fingers traced in the air. "It's just... can we not go north? I... I'm a little afraid of the cold..."
"That... Subaru?"
Carlisle's voice was completely ignored. Subaru was already immersed in her own plans, pulling out a bulging purse.
"The journey might be long... so it's best to buy a Dragon Carriage directly... Luckily, I always carry all my savings..."
"Please wait!"
Carlisle suddenly raised his voice, grabbing Subaru's hand as she counted money, forcing her to stop her frantic soliloquy.
"You said 'run away'... what exactly do you mean?" His brows furrowed. "Those words just now... it sounded like you wanted to leave Lugunica..."
After a brief silence, Carlisle tried to offer a reasonable explanation.
"Could it be... you want to travel? It's not impossible... but you should at least inform Roswaal-sama and Emilia-sama..."
Even he could hear how far-fetched this guess was.
"It's not travel."
Subaru slowly shook her head, an unprecedented despair settling in her golden pupils.
"It's 'running away'... leaving this country forever."
She suddenly grabbed Carlisle's lapel.
"Because I finally understand... I can't change anything..." Her voice carried a broken laugh. "Every time I try to change something... it only makes things worse..."
The shadow of clouds covering the sun fell, engulfing the three of them in darkness. Subaru's last words were as light as a sigh.
"So at least... at least let me save you all..."
This world has never been reasonable.
That day, she lost him, watching helplessly as his body dissolved into specks of light. Then, fate returned him, allowing her to see that familiar face again after Return by Death.
How ironic... giving me hope... only to make me destroy it with my own hands... I'm too weak. Even with a chance to start over, I still can't change anything. The villagers, everyone at the Mansion... I can't save a single one. Then at least... at least these two people in front of me must survive... I've tried... running to seek reinforcements, only to be treated like a madwoman, pleading with the Royal Selection Candidates, receiving only refusal, mockery, and deceit. In the end, Carlisle was swallowed by the White Whale to protect her, forgotten by the world. Rem was killed by the Witch Cult while covering me.
And that damn Great Spirit... if Carlisle had been there, he could have defeated it... if it wasn't to protect me... if it wasn't for my incompetence... if the number of Returns ran out, that guy's wrath would probably have swept across the entire kingdom, right?
Saving others? How arrogant am I... My own hands are stained with invisible blood. Every cycle, no matter what I do, the number of corpses only increases by one.
Someone like me... no one would care if I disappeared, right? Why do I have to go through all this? Effort brings no reward, struggle only makes the outcome worse... But, even so... I want to avoid that worst outcome... Loneliness is too terrifying. In this unfamiliar Another World, if not for Carlisle... The first day I met him, he took me under his wing. Assassins, monster hordes, the White Whale, the Witch Cult... even the crisis of world destruction, he stopped them one by one.
And how did I repay him?
Letting him be swallowed by the White Whale, forgotten by everyone... even... killing him with my own hands... Someone like me... actually still wants to run away with him... Guilt almost tore Subaru apart, but she still trembled and reached out her hand. Because... she was afraid to face this world alone... Please... agree to me... I will offer everything I have... Carlisle gently shook his head.
It wasn't a refusal, but a hesitant confusion.
"Subaru, saying something like this so suddenly, I..."
"There's no time to explain!" Subaru interrupted abruptly. "I know this is selfish... but please... make a choice..."
"A choice?"
"Yes!" Subaru's voice carried a desperate hope on the verge of breaking. "Put down your knightly duties... put down those burdens... and run away with me!"
Please... just like you used to tolerate my selfishness... only you would forgive someone as fallen as me... She eagerly painted a picture of a fanciful future.
"We can get a Dragon Carriage, and when we get to Kararagi, buy a small house... The three of us can live peacefully..."
Her words came faster and faster, as if the faster she spoke, the more likely this beautiful dream would come true.
"Although I'm sorry to President Roswaal... I'll find a chance to apologize to him later... It might be hard at first... but I'll work desperately too..."
A scene unfolded before her eyes, someone combing her messy hair in the morning light. A lamp lit in the window when she returned home late. Never again seeing blood and death... "As long as you're there... I can do anything!" Her voice suddenly choked. "Just thinking that someone is waiting for me to come home... I can endure any hard day..."
"So... please!"
Subaru bowed deeply, her outstretched hands trembling in the air.
"Choose me...!"
This plea was almost squeezed from the depths of her soul.
"My life, my loyalty, everything I have is yours... I will live only for you... only for you..."
"Run away with me..."
"And... live with me..."
Please... don't die... The silence was suffocatingly long. The distant noise seemed to come from Another World. Subaru finally couldn't help but look up, her gaze meeting Carlisle's face.
"Subaru."
His voice was so gentle it broke her heart.
When she saw the determination in the knight's eyes, her entire world began to fall apart.
"I'm sorry, I can't run away with you."
...
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