SF Chapter 18: TBBT Pilot II
Penny sat down very close to Daniel and asked, "So, what about you, Dani?"
"No, no, no," Daniel spoke teasingly. "Ladies first. We want to know what our beautiful Penny does." He took her hand as he said that, which earned him a playful glare - but she let him keep holding it.
But before she could begin, Sheldon approached them. "Penny."
"Yeah?" She lifted her head and looked at him.
"That's where I sit. You are in my spot."
"So sit next to me," she gestured toward the armchair in front of her.
Daniel leaned in and whispered mischievously, "Are you trying two at a time?"
She gave him a light nudge but kept holding his hand.
"No. I sit there," Sheldon corrected, not even considering the idea of sitting in the armchair.
Daniel kept whispering flirts. "Too bad. Your allure didn't work on him."
She muttered back, "Is he?" making it sound suggestive.
He shrugged. "Probably not. Otherwise, he'd be talking about what a handsome man I'm becoming."
She laughed at how similar the two of them sounded. But he shuddered, because his own idea creeped him out.
Finally, Penny turned back to Sheldon, since she and Dani had drifted into their own little world. "What's the difference?"
"What's the difference?" Sheldon raised an eyebrow.
Two people muttered, "Here we go."
The taller physicist began his explanation. "In winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm…" he pointed to where the radiator was, "…yet not so close as to cause perspiration."
"In the summer, it's in a cross breeze created," he gestured again to two different spots, "by opening windows there and there."
"It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, discouraging conversation… nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I've made my point." Sheldon finally finished.
"Yeah, that you're like Jim Carrey," Daniel mocked, with only Penny laughing, since she was the only one who got the reference.
But she was polite. "Do you want me to move?"
"Well…"
"Just sit somewhere else," Leonard finally scolded, and he went to sit in the armchair.
Sheldon then began awkwardly searching for a place to sit, even trying next to Daniel at first, but quickly standing up again and looking around.
"Penny, could you please?" Daniel squeezed her hand.
"You can sit…" He paused, glanced briefly at his own lap, then patted the spot on the other side of him with his free hand.
She went there, but narrowed her eyes at him and teased, "Did you lose your boldness, Dani?" since he only hinted with his eyes and didn't say what he had clearly thought at first.
"Nope," he denied. "I thought it would be a little too much for now. I don't want you to think I'm some kind of creep."
"Too bad," she grinned. "Because I might have sat there."
He just smiled, knowing she was bluffing.
"Well, this is nice," Leonard tried to make conversation as well. "We don't have a lot of company over."
"That's not true," Sheldon promptly contradicted him. "Koothrappali and Wolowitz come over. Your cousin also comes from time to time."
"Yes, I know."
"Tuesday night we played Klingon Boggle until one in the morning."
"Yeah, I remember."
"I resent you saying we don't have company. That has a negative social implication."
"I said I'm sorry," Leonard replied, already exhausted. It was incredible how he managed to put up with this every single day.
Penny made a questioning face. "Klingon Boggle?"
"Don't look at me. I tried it once, but it's not my thing. Learning a whole new language just to play a game…" Daniel replied.
Leonard explained, "It's like regular Boggle, but in Klingon." He paused, then changed the subject. "That's probably enough about us. Tell us about you."
"Me?" Penny began. "I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know." She smiled.
"Yes," Sheldon agreed, looking at her judgmentally, "it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's position relative to arbitrary constellations at the time of your birth... somehow affects your personality."
"Participate in the what?" She tilted her head.
Daniel waved his hand - the one that wasn't holding hers. "Just ignore him. I do that like ninety-five percent of the time. It makes him funny that way. Just continue…"
"Okay, let's see, what else?" Penny thought for a moment. "Oh, I'm a vegetarian." Then she corrected herself. "No. Except for fish, and the occasional steak. I love steak."
Sheldon stared at her incredulously and, for some reason, decided to add, "Well, that's interesting. Leonard can't process corn."
"Sheldon." Leonard snapped at him.
"Wow, you would be an incredible wingman, Sheldon," Daniel muttered dryly.
She continued talking about her life. "Oh, yeah. I'm a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory."
"I love cheesecake," Leonard chimed in.
Sheldon looked at him oddly. "You're lactose intolerant. You'd have a really bad stomach and gas problems if you ate one."
"I don't eat it. I just think it's a good idea."
"Anyway, I'm also writing a screenplay," Penny continued, probably developing the same immunity as Daniel to their weirdness.
"It's about this sensitive girl who comes to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska..." she finished a bit melancholically, "to be an actress and ends up a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory."
Daniel squeezed her hand. "I'm also a writer, you know? Not just books - screenplays too."
"Shut up! Really??" Penny widened her eyes, then narrowed them. "You're not just saying that to get me, right?"
"Can't it be both?" He smirked and revealed, "I'm doing a movie called Mean Girls. I'm the one who wrote it, and I'm also producing it."
"No way!" Penny exclaimed. "I auditioned for a minor role in that movie." She got excited, "And I saw the trailer this week. I can't believe you did it!"
"Did you meet Lindsay Lohan?" she inquired, since Lindsay was the lead and already relatively famous.
"Nope. I haven't met anyone involved with the movie yet," Daniel denied.
[Daniel Commentary]
Daniel was sitting on the couch. "It's true. I still haven't met anyone who's working on the movie I wrote. My own movie."
"That was a condition my father imposed at the beginning," he commented, "because he thought I might mess things up - like hooking up with one of them, creating some scandal and screwing the movie."
"He has no faith in me," he scoffed, offended. "I wouldn't do that! Rule number seven: not with someone who could seriously mess with your work."
"Just because Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Seyfried, Lacey Chabert and Rachel McAdams are incredibly beautiful... yeah, I wouldn't," he concluded.
"Totally wouldn't!" He said one more time, probably also to convince himself.
[Commentary ends]
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