Since meeting Superman, the week blurred past until it was Sunday again.
I settled into a routine: brutal training morning and night, grinding secondary skills during the day, and taking the armor out for "hero patrols" under the cover of darkness.
I've done two runs so far. Metropolis at night is sketchier than the day, but Gotham...
What the hell is wrong with that city? I witnessed a drug deal between a Mexican cartel and Haitian hitters get interrupted by the Russian mob, which turned into a full-scale war zone until the Triads crashed the party.
Then the police showed up. It wasn't a city; it was Roanapur on steroids. Even Black Lagoon didn't have this level of clusterfuckery.
I watched from a crane as bullets pinged off my armor. Then someone brought a tank. A literal light tank. In the middle of the docks.
I decided to let Batman handle it. The XP reward for that mission wasn't nearly high enough to justify catching a tank shell to the face.
Aside from that, I hit Level 16. My assimilation with Tomo is at 70%, which means the erotic dreams are now a nightly occurrence. My "Sex Mastery" skills are leveling up while I sleep.
Whatever hack designed this System is a pervert. It encourages you to get stronger to roll the Gacha, but you get stronger by merging with people whose skills make you... well, an expert in things I shouldn't be proud of.
And then, the Gacha glitched.
"Christmas Event?" I stared at the calendar. It's July 15th.
I checked the Shop. The donation limit reset—another bug? I didn't care. I emptied my piggy bank for $200, netting 1,940 Fantasms.
Maybe I'll get banned for exploiting a bug, but that's a "future me" problem.
I sat down with a bowl of chips and soda, ignoring Michelle's nagging about "healthy eating," and hit the button.
Eleven items? A holiday bonus, I guess.
[ Christmas Gacha Multi-Roll: ]
New Year Spruce.A literal tree. Thanks, I guess.
Tetsuo Shima (Akira).The psychic nuke himself. Into the 'Do Not Touch' pile.
Honoka (Dead or Alive - Santa Costume).Cute. Dangerous. Moveset copier.
Tub of Olivier Salad.Russian holiday tradition. Where does the leftovers go?
Blue Dragon Egg (WarCraft).Does it hatch or just act as an item?
New Year Hits 2000.Russian pop music on a cassette tape. Pure nostalgia/cringe.
Meowth (PokeMusu).A monster-girl version of Meowth. Furry bait.
Dungeon Creation (System Mechanic).Wait, I can build my own levels now?
Yuto Amakawa (Omamori Himari).Standard harem protagonist with "Light Power."
Lip-Rolling Machine.A joke item that actually exists. Great.
System Update 1.1.
I checked the Update card. It's a planned update for the 100th pull. It adds features and fixes bugs.
If I install it now, the glitched Christmas banner might disappear. Logic says "Update now," but the Gamer in me says "Keep pulling."
Chose the pulls. Dungeon Creation sounds awesome, but it costs 5,000 mana just to start. I'm nowhere near that.
Honoka is interesting—she can memorize any fighting move instantly. Yuto can infuse items with light. He's my next candidate for Fusion after I find a blonde guy to fix my hair color.
And Meowth... it's a "Scratch-Cat Musu." She likes shiny things and "Pay Day" cycles. Weird as hell.
[ Second Multi-Pull: ]
Percival (Bakugan).A Darkus dragon. Badass.
1930s Christmas Record.A rare antique. Could sell for a lot.
Lump of Coal.I guess I've been a bad boy.
Donald Duck Outfit.Duck size. My stomach would be permanently exposed.
Mystogan (Fairy Tail).Jellal's Edolas double. Knowledge of magic staves is a win.
Letter to Santa.Wait... this is my own letter from when I was five. Creepy.
Chloe (Kuroinu Rebellion).Another dark elf from the RPG-maker sequel.
Ent Transformation (Xmas Tree).A second form as a sentient tree? Hard pass.
Black Leg Style (One Piece).Sanji's fighting style! Now we're talking.
Tigger (Disney).A sentient plushie.
[ Third Multi-Pull: ]
Alexander (WhoreCraft).A buff, green-eyed blonde from a porn parody. He's an idiot, but he has the looks I need to "fix" my appearance.
Cycloid (Bakugan).A giant cyclops with a hammer.
Snegurochka Outfit.The Russian 'Snow Maiden' costume, but the 'slutty' version. Gacha is a degenerate.
Francis Drake (Fate - Christmas Rider).A pirate queen in a Santa suit. Total loot goblin.
Tub of Vinaigrette Salad.More Russian food. My stomach is confused.
Memnon (Scorpion King).Warrior skills and arrow-deflecting reflexes.
Waffenträger auf E 100 (World of Tanks).The Golden 'Faffle.' A 0.1% drop rate tank. RNGesus is laughing at me.
Atago (Azur Lane - Winter Kimono).Onee-san energy is off the charts.
Snowman.Just a regular snowman.
48-Hour Holiday Movie Ticket.
Pulls done. I activated the Update 1.1. My vision went dark for a second.
Compensation arrived in my mail: a "Blank Card." I can copy any item, ability, or person onto it. This is a game-changer.
Then I checked the new Achievements section.
[ Achievement Unlocked: Masturbino ]
FUCK. I hit Level 20 in the "solo skill" and got an achievement for it. At least it gives Fantasms.
But the Shop... oh god, the Shop.
Prices tripled. $24.99 per pack now. "Development is getting expensive," the description said.
I got punished for the exploit. I need a job. Or a heist. Or both.
Maybe that Christmas ticket is the answer. Time to see what movie I'm stuck in.
[ Experience: 11430/11900 ]
[ Level: 14 ] (Note: Experience carries over).
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