Everything went quiet.
Not around me.
Inside me.
No wind.
No voices.
No sound.
Just one thing—
You pushed him.
You hit him first.
No.
That wasn't me.
…was it?
I looked at Emily.
Still there.
Still silent.
Still avoiding my eyes.
"Say something," I said.
Nothing.
"Emily."
Her lips parted.
No words.
That was enough.
I turned to Ryan.
"You're lying."
He didn't even react.
"Am I?" he asked calmly.
"Yes."
He tilted his head slightly.
"Then why can't she say it?"
Silence.
Again.
Always silence.
I let out a slow breath.
"Okay."
That caught them off guard.
"Okay," I repeated.
"Let's say you're right."
Ryan's eyes narrowed.
"I pushed him," I said.
"I hit him. I lost control."
Emily looked up.
Ryan stayed still.
"Now tell me the rest."
Silence.
"You're so comfortable talking about what I did," I continued.
"So go on."
Ryan smiled faintly.
"That's not the part that matters."
"It matters to me."
"No," he said quietly.
"It doesn't."
That snapped something inside me.
I stepped closer.
"Then what does?"
His expression shifted.
Just slightly.
"For you?" he said.
A pause.
"What matters…"
He leaned in just a little.
"…is what happened after."
My chest tightened.
"Then say it."
Emily took a step back.
"Lucas—"
"No," I cut her off.
"I'm done with this."
I locked eyes with Ryan.
"Say it."
Silence.
"You don't want me to," he said.
"Try me."
He stared at me.
Long.
Like he was deciding something.
Then—
"You left him."
The words didn't land at first.
"What?"
"You heard me," Ryan said.
"You walked away."
My chest tightened instantly.
"No."
"You didn't check on him."
"You didn't call anyone."
"You just…"
A pause.
"…ran."
"No," I shook my head.
"That's not true."
"Isn't it?"
I turned to Emily.
"Tell me."
Her eyes filled.
"I…"
"Tell me!"
She flinched.
"...yes," she whispered.
Everything collapsed.
"No…"
"You were scared," she said, voice breaking.
"You kept saying it wasn't supposed to happen—"
"Stop."
"And then you ran."
My head started spinning.
That couldn't be real.
That couldn't be me.
"I wouldn't do that…"
Ryan exhaled slowly.
"You already did."
Silence.
Heavy.
Crushing.
Because now—
It wasn't just about losing control.
It was about what I chose after.
Or what I didn't.
"I need to see it," I said.
They both looked at me.
"What?" Emily asked.
"I need to remember," I said.
"Everything."
"Lucas, no—"
"Yes."
My voice was firm now.
"I'm done being the only one in the dark."
"You don't understand—"
"Then make me understand!"
Silence.
Then—
Ryan laughed.
Low.
Cold.
"You really want that?" he asked.
"Yes."
He stepped closer.
"Fine."
Emily shook her head.
"Don't—"
"Too late," Ryan said.
His eyes locked on mine.
"Tonight."
My jaw tightened.
"Where?"
That smile.
Wrong.
Cold.
"Where it happened."
My chest tightened instantly.
"No…"
Emily grabbed my arm.
"Don't go," she said.
"Why not?"
"Because that's exactly what he wants!"
I looked at Ryan.
"What do you want?"
He didn't hesitate.
"The truth."
Something about that felt wrong.
"Or your version of it?" I asked.
His smile didn't fade.
"You'll see."
And then—
He turned.
Walked away.
Like it was already decided.
Like he already knew…
I'd go.
Emily's grip tightened.
"Lucas… please."
I looked at her.
"Why are you really scared?"
She shook her head.
"Because if you go there…"
Her voice broke.
"…everything comes back."
"That's the point."
"No," she whispered.
"That's the problem."
I gently pulled my arm free.
"I need to know."
"Even if it destroys you?"
Silence.
Then—
"Yeah."
Because now…
Not knowing was worse.
I turned.
Started walking.
"Lucas!"
I stopped.
Didn't turn.
"There's something else," she said.
That froze me.
"What?"
Silence.
Too long.
And then—
"You weren't the only one who touched him."
My heart stopped.
Slowly…
I turned.
"What?"
She looked at me.
And for the first time—
She didn't look scared.
She looked guilty.
🖤 Poem — Emily
I hid behind your shadow
so I wouldn't feel the blame
but truth doesn't choose sides
it burns us all the same
and the hands I tried to hide…
were never clean