HARUKA
The moment I reached home, I threw my shoes and ran to my room. I locked my door, dropped my bag on a chair, and collapsed onto my bed face-first.
I didn't even bother changing. I was too busy replaying a single word—a word which was nothing before, which was just a name, but when I heard it from him today, it felt like it was everything. Like it is... something. Like it is everything.
What. The. Fuck.
It's just my name. Why am I overthinking about my name just because a guy said it?
I hug my pillow and squeeze it hard. My nails dig deep into it. I am really a total idiot. An absolute idiot.
But still, he called my name...
I buried my face hard into the pillow. "Stop overthinking, Haruka. Stop it. It's just a name. Your name. But... but it's from him."
I roll around the bed and hit my pillow with my fist. This is why I avoid talking to people. One interaction and my brain starts writing a full romance novel.
My phone buzzed.
I froze.
I look at my screen and my heart does an illegal flip.
No way. No way. Not him.
Kaito Minase: Hi
He actually texted. He said he would, but still... he actually did.
Another message popped up.
Kaito Minase: I thought of a few math topics. Are you okay with statistics or probability?
My brain stopped working again. He is asking about the project while I was busy analyzing how he pronounced my name...
Fantastic.amazing . Perfect.
My phone buzzed again.
Kaito Minase: Do you have your own idea tho?
I typed. Deleted. Typed again. Deleted again.
"Statistics is good."
No, it sounds pathetic.
"I think statistics is good."
No, too formal. I sound like a teacher.
I groaned and dropped my head back on the pillow. My heart screams again, like I am going into battle and not just texting.After five full minutes of mental suffering, I finally typed
Me: I think statistics will be easier.
I stared at it. Then, I pressed send before I could panic and delete it. The message delivered instantly.
And...Shit. Would he think I am not serious about the project because I replied so late? Will he think I am stupid? Oh, he must think I'm rude because I literally said one word earlier—one "okay." That's it. Now he probably thinks I am an asshole.
My phone buzzes again.And I literally jump.I look at my phone screen.
Kaito Minase: Well then, let's start our project tomorrow at the library.
I stared at the message. My brain immediately opened ten different panic tabs.
Library.
Tomorrow.
Together.
No. No, no, no, no. Why is my life like this? Why does this feel like a battlefield?
I typed because I don't have any other choice left but to say yes. So yes, let's go with the flow.
My fingers hovered over the keyboard. I typed
Me: Ok then, see you tomorrow at the library.
I threw my phone on the bed beside me, then instantly picked it up and hugged it. I looked at the text again and took a deep breath.
Okay.
Now I'm going tomorrow. Sitting in the library. Next to him. Next to my crush.
Oh god, I am so freaked, but also... I can't deny I am so damn excited.
I am excited. I'm so excited to sit next to him. To sit in a quiet place with him, with my crush, with someone I've admired from afar but never talked to before.
I know this is going to make my feelings for him worse, but right now, I don't care. The only thing that matters is that I'm going to sit beside him. That's enough.
Maybe for him, tomorrow will be just another normal day, but I know very well it's not for me.