As I watched the night display itself under the delicate light of the moon, I breathed in the clean scent of lilies that reached my nose. The stars had wrapped around the sky, winking down below, while the city lights were going out one by one. The sound of tree branches swaying at intervals in the wind could be heard. The air was bitterly cold. The scorching heat of the desert days had given way to that infamous night chill that seeped into my bones. As the people of the Desert Kingdom drifted into sleep, I had remained there until the wind began to sting my skin. There was no point in torturing myself any further. I stepped inside from the balcony into my room and slowly closed the door behind me. There was no strength left in my body, I was completely exhausted. Weeks must have passed since that incident.
My mind was as empty as the sky filled with that cold air. Yet not even the smallest fragment of a thought would light up within it. I would wake up in the morning, be forced through my daily care, then night would come again, and after that the sun would rise. Even thinking about it made me uneasy. At night, the screams in my mind were louder. Sometimes I would lose myself, clutch my head with my hands, and pace back and forth in my room. I wouldn't even know what I was doing. The blood on my hands wouldn't go away. And the smell of blood in my nose never faded. But when morning came and the sunlight hit through my window, it became even worse. The whole palace would feel like it was collapsing on me, and the sky would appear red.
I did not deserve this. My face, which I could barely stand to look at, was covered in wounds and bruises, aching constantly. Every time I thought I didn't deserve what I had been through, my nails would move toward my face or my long black hair. Then the voice inside me would say, what about them? You didn't deserve this, but what about them?
I wanted so badly to silence that voice.
I, who had lived among icy walls since I was very young, trained to become a weapon and constantly reminded that I was different from the others, had never known warmth. I was ice cold, and I was freezing. But since when had those icy hands begun cutting into other flesh?
I knew we did this for the good of the world, for its salvation. I knew it was to awaken the divine once more, to restore the world order shattered by the Kingdom of the Abyss. But still, it was unacceptable, there had to be another way. A path without bloodshed, without valuing one life over another.
I snapped out of my thoughts when my door was knocked. It must have been Aaron. Every night he would visit me and check if I was okay. I called out for him to come in.
As the door quietly opened, he muttered, "Who picked these guards?" I smiled, and he continued, "You wouldn't want to know what excuse I used today to see you."
He fixed his green eyes on my face. "I'm not asking," I said.
"I'll just see you and leave, nothing more allowed."
"It's fine, I'm okay."
He brushed his brown hair, which reached his neck, away from his face. His eyes shone with sadness.
"Then, good night," he offered a sincere smile.
Before he turned away, I called out, "Aaron, wait!"
I took off the necklace in my hand and held it out to him. "Take this, and don't ask," I said.
That day, he took the necklace, wished me well, and left my room.
I had a bad feeling. The nightmares I saw at night pointed to only one thing.
I had to do what was necessary, I had to find a way. But I didn't have the strength to think about it any longer. Before the time came and before I was warned, I chose to lie down on my bed and close my eyes.
...
In the morning, I opened my eyes with a loud crash. I was startled when soldiers and servants suddenly and unannounced entered my room. They had surrounded it completely, waking me from the first peaceful sleep I had had in a long time. Before I could ask what was happening, my maid Donna grabbed my arm and pulled me upright.
"You must get ready immediately, my lady, the King has ordered us to take you to the Ice Palace." Donna approached with a dress she had hastily grabbed from my wardrobe with trembling hands.
What I heard made me release a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. My mind was filled with countless questions, "I'm sorry, I wasn't informed of this, if you could explain what's happening—" Before I could finish, they began tearing my room apart, searching it thoroughly, turning everything upside down. I couldn't understand this sudden harsh treatment overnight. Before I could even tell them to stop, I had been dragged from where I stood and hurriedly shoved into my dressing room by the maid.
"It would be better for you not to question it, my lady, you will understand once you arrive." As she quickly untied the strings of my dress, she paused for a moment. That pause was not a good sign, because I saw the sadness in her eyes. They looked as if they had been reddened from crying. Donna was like the only drop of water I had found in the desert, her motherly nature made me feel, even if just a little, what it was like to be a child and to feel the warmth of a family. She took care of both me and Aaron, who was my other closest person. She and Aaron were my family. As she quickly gathered my hair, I wanted to ask something. I was about to speak, but Donna deliberately turned her back immediately. I fell silent. It felt as if something inside me had broken at that moment, I couldn't say a single word.
When they rushed me into the carriage just as quickly, I still couldn't say a final word. With a body disconnected from my mind, I followed instructions unconsciously. Just before Donna helped me into the carriage, she quickly placed a kiss on my forehead. She turned away immediately, but even in that brief second I noticed her eyes filled with tears. A bad feeling filled me, and a knot settled in my chest. Composing herself, my maid came to me one last time with a tall man beside her.
"He will look after you, you will travel using the portal," she said quickly, gesturing for the man to step inside. As everything happened so fast, the tall man was already seated across from me. Just before the carriage began to move, I heard her voice one last time.
"Luna!"
I immediately turned my head and leaned to see her. Tears were now freely flowing from her eyes.
"Have a good journey," she called out, her voice fading at the end as she waved her hands. I managed to wave back reflexively. We were really leaving.
Unable to suppress my anxiety any longer, I glanced at the man across from me and asked, "Do you have any idea what's happening, sir, if you know anything please tell me."
The man, who I sensed had special powers, turned his glowing eyes toward me. Even though I had no powers, my senses were strong, and I could perceive people of high rank and special abilities. It was impossible to miss them anyway, since only important people in this world could use magic. There was always something distinct or glowing about their appearance.
"We will take you through the portal, my lady. I have been assigned to protect you so that you can pass through this process without side effects. I will shield you with my magic, do not worry." His tone softened as he mentioned being a mage. But he said nothing more and turned his face toward the trees.
"A real portal," I whispered. What could be so important? I was sure my ritual had failed. If it had succeeded, those ruling the kingdom would have shaken the heavens by now.
"Then we are going to the Altınırmak villages..."
He answered quickly, "Yes, my lady, I suggest you enjoy the journey," his eyes still on the trees.
The Altınırmak villages were close to the royal palace, we only needed to pass a bit beyond the lake's shore. Although I had always been curious about it, I had never been there. I had neither a reason nor the time to go. This could have been an opportunity to observe the village. I had heard very unique things about its people. I was about to ask again, but it was useless. When I realized the tall, slender man had closed his eyes and entered a trance, I lost hope of being heard.
Throughout the journey, I tried to calm myself and watched the view of the lake. Maybe they were giving me a special mission and needed to tell me the details later. Or... had they given up on me? Were they taking me away to get rid of me? My thoughts weren't helping.
The City of Memories, the city where I carried out that massacre, was once known as a city belonging to the Ice Kingdom. But that was centuries ago, and I had nothing to do with that part of the world. The Ice Kingdom was on the other side of the world, and traveling there without a portal could take months. I couldn't stop wondering what was so urgent. The lake's view at least allowed me to breathe a little. Birds were singing their usual songs on what seemed like a normal day. When the noise of a crowd and the cheerful voices of children began to rise, I realized we were nearing the village.
"Hold tight, my lady." The man, speaking after a long silence, immediately ordered the carriage to speed up. I realized we had passed through the village gate when we went through a large entrance. I leaned out to see the people and surroundings. Grand yet simple adobe houses welcomed us. People were going about their work in clothing suited to the desert climate. But some noticed me as I leaned out, and a murmur rose among them. This made me tense even more, gripping my seat tightly, as people raised their voices in anger, some even shouting curses. The crowd seemed to recognize me all at once, whispering my name. I thought I heard someone shout, "Murderer!" Gideon, after seeing me pale faced, spoke, and I listened with my rapidly beating heart and the anxiety tightening my throat. Then finally, he revealed the piece of information I had been waiting for.
"In the Ice Kingdom, Prince Kieran will receive you. There will be an execution, and you will play a role in it." I thought I sensed arrogance in his words, but I could have been mistaken. I was very tense and hurt. The carriage had turned onto a side road before passing through the center of the village, and the sounds faded before I could fully understand them. The man paused for a moment and looked directly into my eyes. This made my already tense muscles tighten further. I felt overwhelmed.
"Are you sure the ritual failed, my lady?" He looked at me with great and strange suspicion.
The ritual could not have succeeded, I had personally taken the blood of the entire population with that enchanted sword. The spilled blood had been on the ground, and the sword had shown no reaction. According to the ritual, the blade should have sharpened, its magical effect should have increased. This weapon, already possessing great power, was supposed to reach a level no one could oppose. But when I brought it back, the royal mages who examined it said nothing had changed. And I was left alone with the blood I had shed and a trauma.
"I am sure," I replied firmly.
The mage leaned back slowly, one eyebrow slightly raised, his eyes drifting toward the sky. After a short while, I thought he had noticed something, as he ordered the carriage to stop.
"We have arrived at the portal, my lady."
I followed his body out of the carriage with slow, hesitant steps. There was nothing here. It was a barren slope with a few pale trees scattered around. My eyes scanned curiously, waiting to feel something.
"We will now enter the portal. Hold my hand tightly and do not let go." I reached out and took the hand of the man with glowing eyes. The veil of a mystery was lifting. I stood beside him, my breaths quickening as I listened to the magical words leaving his mouth. The sky, which I assumed was the portal, suddenly began to move. Writings in a language I did not know and a beam of light spun above us in a circle. This magnificent sight made me feel as if I were flying.
While I was captivated by the grandeur of it all, the mage spoke:
"I, Mage Gideon, have been ordered to arrive at the Ice Palace with the condemned Luna. O great portal, I command you to grant us passage."