What. The. Fuck?
My body is still. Really fucking still. The cloak around me tight, but too baggy for my small body, leaving a bit of slack that makes the fabric dangle and brush slightly against the walls surrounding me. Can you compare the inside of a closet to walls? I don't know, and I'm not sure. But it doesn't matter because my heart is beating right now, it's beating and beatind and beating-beat-beat-beat, it's sliding in my chest, hurting the side of my ribs and climbing through my throat until I can hear the way my heart beat through my ears.
The reason for this is the hole above me.
I've been starting to feel invincible with those illusions of mine.
Then I remembered the way he stared at me the last time I saw him, a window separating us, and guessing that my grandfather could be the only man with THAT much power, I guessed he would be the man who would meet Youta. And even if I truly believe he didn't saw me last time, now, I'm doubting.
Becaude I saw the limits of my illusions.
And I just saw him almost spearing me to death.
The only thing that saved me?
My size.
For a good while. I stay there. In the dark closet, thanking my foresight and my paranoia, thanking the same part that made me stay outside for more than a full night to imbue everything around the brothel with my magic, the same paranoid part that kept me awake for three days straight until I had a shit ton of weapons.
This part of me.
This part that kept me in a closet, that....because...he fucking...FUCK
Did he really saw me last time? Are my illusion useless? Or...or I just didn't manage to shove my magic in his brain? Even with all the magic around? Is he just super sensitive to sound?
He's super fast, would make sense if he has super sharp senses too?
Right?
I don't know.....shit.
The darkness around me press, and without any hesitation, just making sure that the flow around me imbue the closet door. I push it open and escape the mess of clothes I was dug under, stepping inside youta's office once again.
Youta's with me.
Even if he doesn't know I'm here.
He's in his seat. Head tilted back over his backrest, staring at the ceiling with empty eyes and almost no movement.
Ah.
Well.
I did hear some crazy shit too.
What did that, I shiver once at thinking about my grandfather before forcing myself still, what did that...piece of shit said?
Something about war and?
Damn, I need to chill, my heart is beating too fast I can't think for shit.
I almost jump back as Youta suddenly move. He pulls his chair back and leave his room, slamming the door behind himself and leaving me alone.
Staring at the door for two good seconds, my ass cozy itself in his seat. Fuck. Okay
Chill.
For ten good seconds I keep the same position as Youta as I try to remember what the fuck I was spying on, but it's like there's a filter in my brain, the second the sword passed over me, all my cool and the interesting things I heard and guessed were thrown out of the window as adrenaline started fueling my veins.
Doesn't mean I don't remember anything.
I just need.
Just a bit of time and chilling.
Just...calm down.
And think.
So....
I'll say the obvious first. Leaning forward and pulling my baby arms up to get closer to the desk, I read the papers on the desk.
A mix of numbers, problems, and results, some talking about the homeless of today. Twenty-two taken, prospective jobs beside each of their names. Some would do good warriors because of their tall builds apparently, other had experience fighting, proven with all the scars they have, and could be really helpful to teach some guards some tricks, or the kids in the academy some tricks too.
Others don't seem necessarily good at any subject, but they look healthy, so they could be shaped up into pretty much anything as long as they have enough food and resources put into them.
Another paper shows a list of staff job they could take in his own brothel while youta figures out what to do with them, or, I can guess, until my grandfather tell him what he needs.
That's...
Okay this brothel is an army recruitment scheme.
That's...I mean that's kind of obvious now but.
Lifting my finger up, I start gesturing to myself to help me figure out the timeline. One bob of my finger for the first part of the plan.
So he makes the poor district a living hell. By throwing academy students at them, not giving them resources, stealing their resources from their own home and all. All while gaining resources, and training his own people.
Another bob of my finger for the next part of the timeline.
Then he gives them a way to escape this hellish life. With the brothel, if they're strong and healthy enough. They have an easy way to get some food, and some basic human decency, plus, some pleasure.
The timeline continues.
And theeeeen, they're happy about the brothel, addict to this new life. And they fight, and do jobs to finance the future war.
That's...
Fuck.
Rubbing my face mid thoughts, I can't help but think that it's actually genius.
And that it's also fucking annoying.
Because it also means that if I want to put my mother out of this life.
We'll have a problem.
Just like I'll have a problem if I try to get rid of my father. I'll get a problem with my grandfather if I kill youta, or if I go crazy fucking mode and do the basic stuff.
I can't torture. I can't kill. They're spies around apparently? I think. WHO WERE THOSE GUYS ACTUALLY!? And now I just realized that I can't even do a dramatic change in this brothel to save my mom, because if I do, I'll get on my grandfather radar, and I'll die.
Worse is. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO CHANGE THIS BROTHEL BECAUSE REALLY!
Is it bad?
I mean.
It gives homeless some food. For cheap. It gives them a new life if they're healthy enough...and like.
..I mean.
Am I the bad guy here?
Am I the bad guy for wanting to break their chance of getting a better life? Or am I the bad guy for being happy that my grandfather, that someone else, someone strong, is actively working on a way to save this village from this war I've been hearing about.
Am I a bad guy for not wanting to change this machine my grandfather engineered?
Am I selfish?
Because honestly, I don't want to risk myself, and I'm not planning on changing anything I just want...to help my mother.
And only my mother.
I'm weak. I can't do anything. I thought I would be able to do something, anything, with my invisibility my crossbow my anything...
I don't know.
My shoulders drop, my head drops, my everything drops until my forehead is on the desk.
What can I even do?
I got the information I need. More than most have really.
And I can't do shit with it.
Save my mother? How? Please tell me how? Kill youta and get a new figurehead put on by my grandfather? Assasinating all of them and breaking the brothel forever? Okay? Then what? I'm risking losing manpower for a war that's being talked like it's hell on earth.
Then what? My mother won't get any way to gain some money, and then how will she react? Kill herself? What will she thinks if she constantly finds ryos randomly on the ground? What if my grandfather search for the one assassinating the figureheads, and suddenly see how well my mother is doing, randomly, JUST LIKE THAT! HE'S NOT A FUCKING RETARD!
How my father will react? Will he keep stealing? Will my mother not be able to hide everything? Will an accident happen during the usual beat up and she'll drop dead? How can she leave my father? She needs a house? What if I get her money? Should I make her buy another house? HOW!? DO YOU REALLY THINK ANYONE WILL SELL THEIR FUCKING HOUSE IN THIS ECONOMY!?
Kill my father? And get my grandfather wrath? Make him aware that there's someone that killed his son and make him find me, make him kill me, pretty fucking easily too, just need to observe the victim house, and he'll find the crime weapon right in my fucking room.
Kill my grandfather? Are you for REAL here!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!? I'M SURE THE FUCKER WOULD BE ABLE TO DODGE MY BOLTS!
Get stronger and kill my grandfather? Yeah, yeah, maybe that could work. IF I DIDN'T HAD A FUCKING TIME LIMIT STICKING TO ME!
.....
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
I need to be stronger.
But I have a time limit.
And I have body limitations. I'm two. Years. Old.
I need something else, something stronger than illusions, something that will keep me safe even if I'm not meters away from my enemies.
Something that can help me in close combat, I don't know...I just...
Should I try puking water again?