The hall of the Adventurers' Guild throbbed with the noise of the night, surging like a rising tide.
Kōichi and Kazuma dragged their lead-heavy legs to the counter.
Behind it, the receptionist Luna was busy sorting through a stack of request forms. Her golden curls glowed warmly under the lamplight, and her ample bust swayed faintly with each movement, giving off a strangely comforting, maternal air.
"Um... Luna-san." Kōichi cleared his throat and forced out a smile that looked more painful than cheerful. "You're still working this late. That must be rough. Actually, we have a tiny favor to ask..."
Luna looked up and gave them her usual professional, sweet smile. "Ah, you're the three newcomers who were washing dishes in the kitchen earlier, right? Did everything go well? Is there something I can help you with?"
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged a glance and instantly slipped into full master-actor mode.
"Well..." Kazuma sniffed, and somehow even managed to squeeze out a real tear. He pointed toward Aqua, who was sprawled over a table in the distance, trying to turn a chunk of wood into fried chicken with a fork. His voice trembled with emotion. "We really had no other choice. That blue-haired girl over there... she's our little sister."
"Your little sister?" Luna followed where he was pointing, just in time to see Aqua, furious that she still couldn't conjure fried chicken, stab the fork into the table. Then it got stuck, and she ended up hanging off the edge trying to yank it free.
"That's right." Kōichi picked up the story in a tone so heavy it was like he was recounting generations of family suffering. "Ever since she was little, she's been a bit... you know. The doctor said it was a congenital intellectual disability. To cure her, we spent all our savings. We even sold off the family property and brought her all the way to this town, where they say a miracle doctor lives. But... but..."
He paused on purpose, then wiped at tears that did not exist with the back of his hand.
"But the meal we just had used up the last of our travel money. We don't have a single coin left, and we don't even know where we're sleeping tonight. If it were just the two of us grown men, that'd be one thing. Sleeping on the street wouldn't matter. But that idiot... I mean, that poor little sister of ours. If she ends up out on the streets, some bad person is definitely going to trick her and carry her off!"
Luna looked at Aqua in the distance, who was now trying to pull the fork out by smashing her head against the table, and her eyes filled with deep sympathy.
"Oh no... so that's what happened." Luna covered her mouth, her eyes already a little red. "I did think that child looked... not especially bright. So there was a reason. You two brothers are incredible. It must have been so hard, taking care of a sister like that."
Just then, Aqua finally yanked the fork free. But she pulled so hard that she flipped backward and landed flat on her butt. Not only did she not cry, she held the fork up triumphantly and giggled stupidly.
"Hehe! I got it out! I'm a genius!"
Then she casually shoved the fork, still covered in wood shavings and dust, straight into her mouth.
Seeing that, Luna completely bought their nonsense.
"In that case..." Luna let out a sigh and pulled out a slightly rusty key from beneath the counter. "The guild's guest rooms usually cost money, but there's a stable in the back used for storing hay. It's a little crude, but it keeps out the wind and rain, and it's warm enough. If you don't mind, I can make the call and let you stay there for free."
"A stable?!" Kazuma started to protest, but Kōichi immediately pressed him down.
"Thank you so much! Luna-san, you're a living saint!" Kōichi grabbed Luna's hand tightly, and took the chance to cop a little feel, his face overflowing with gratitude. "As long as there's somewhere to lie down, that's enough for us! For drifters like us traveling with an intellectually disabled little sister, a stable is basically paradise!"
"Don't say that. We're all Adventurers. It's only natural to help each other." Luna smiled gently, then took out a few slightly hardened loaves of bread from behind the counter and handed them over. "These are what was left from today. If you don't mind, take them. Especially that child... she's so skinny. She must be starving."
Kōichi accepted the bread and silently gave Luna a huge mental thumbs-up.
Now this was a real Goddess.
She was ten thousand times better than that blue-haired disaster who only knew how to eat and cause trouble.
With the key and bread in hand, Kōichi and Kazuma walked over to Aqua, who was still grinning to herself.
"Come on, idiot little sister." Kōichi stuffed a loaf into her mouth, cutting off the question she was about to ask. "Tonight we're staying in the Royal Stable Suite, with complimentary French hard bread for a midnight snack. Happy?"
"Mmph mmph mmph. Really?!" Aqua mumbled around the bread, her eyes sparkling. "Is there a soft bed? Are there scented pillows?"
"Yeah, sure." Kazuma rolled his eyes and shoved her toward the back door. "There's an all-natural hay mattress and air filled with the scent of nature, horse manure. It's practically custom-made for you."
The air inside the stable was a blend of fresh hay and the unmistakable fragrance of horse dung. Pale moonlight spilled through the gaps in the wooden boards, casting a dim glow over the floor and creating a strangely suggestive atmosphere.
A few old horses snorted in the corner, flicking their tails now and then to chase away mosquitoes that were not even there.
The three of them stood in front of a pile of hay that looked relatively clean, and the mood turned oddly awkward.
Aqua, on the other hand, was clearly thrilled by this whole camping experience. Like a puppy just let out of its cage, she threw herself onto the hay and rolled around in delight. Her long blue hair spread out in a mess, and a few bits of straw even stuck to her face, but none of that took away from her effortless, natural beauty.
Her signature miniskirt fluttered with every movement, and in the dim light, the glimpses of her thighs, along with the tantalizing fact that she was going commando, looked especially alluring.
"Wow! So soft! It's a little scratchy, but it's way more comfortable than that hard crystal bed in the heavens!" Aqua hugged a bundle of hay and rubbed against it, her face glowing with a goofy smile, completely unaware of the heated, complicated looks the two men beside her were giving her.
Kōichi and Kazuma stood off to the side, outwardly busy arranging their bedding, which really just meant flattening the hay, while inside their heads, a silent war was already underway.
She may be an idiot...
Kōichi stole a glance at Aqua's utterly defenseless sleeping face, and his throat bobbed unconsciously.
But damn it, she was gorgeous! And she was a Goddess! If he could sleep beside her, even just to catch a whiff of that legendary divine aura, even if right now all he could smell was horse manure, then his entire life as a virgin would have been worth it!
Kōichi turned his head and met Kazuma's dead-fish eyes, burning with exactly the same lustful intensity.
This guy... he's thinking the same thing too, isn't he?
Kōichi sneered inwardly.
Kazuma Satou, we may be brothers-in-arms when it comes to lying, cheating, and scamming people, but when it comes to a man's pride and benefits, I am absolutely not backing down!
"Um... Kōichi." Kazuma suddenly spoke, his voice a little hoarse, wearing an absurdly fake serious expression. "Aqua is a girl, after all, and also... ahem, the kind of girl who's not exactly all there upstairs. If a mouse or a bug crawls over in the middle of the night, she'll definitely cry. For the sake of protecting our little sister, I think it's my responsibility to sleep next to her and guard her at all times."
"Huh? Kazuma-san, what are you talking about?" Kōichi shot back immediately, with the same righteous smile on his face. "How can I let you take on something that dangerous? Besides, I'm very experienced at keeping bugs away. I guarantee not even a mosquito will get within a meter of her."
"No, no, I should do it. I've been taking care of clumsy idiots like this since I was a kid. I've got experience."
As he spoke, Kazuma casually edged one step closer to Aqua.
"How could that possibly work? I'm a man who aspires to be a protector of women. Please, you have to let me have this chance to train myself!"
Kōichi refused to give an inch, squeezing his way over as well and trying to block Kazuma with his body.
Just as the two of them were deadlocked over who got to sleep in the middle, and had even started shoving each other, Aqua, who had already wrapped herself up into what looked like a hay roll, suddenly poked her head out and looked at them both in confusion.
"Hey, what are you two doing? You're like two dogs fighting over a bone. There's obviously plenty of room here, so why not just squeeze together?"
She patted the empty space beside her and gave them an innocent smile.
"Come on, come on! It's a little cramped, but it's nice and warm! And I have a Goddess's blessing, so if you sleep next to me, you'll have sweet dreams!"
At that moment, Kōichi and Kazuma both froze.
Being invited by a Goddess to sleep beside her, even if it was in a stable, hit the brains of those two lifelong single losers like a direct overload.
Squeeze together... nice and warm... sweet dreams...
Those few phrases looped endlessly through their minds like a gospel from heaven.
"Well, if the Goddess herself says so..." Kazuma swallowed hard, and his expression instantly turned devout. "Then we would be disrespectful to refuse."
"Exactly. We can only reluctantly squeeze in so we don't disappoint the Goddess's kindness." Kōichi also immediately put on the face of a saint and swiftly claimed the spot on Aqua's left.
And so, on a night filled with the smell of horse manure and dry hay, two scheming adventurers and one carefree idiot Goddess ended up pressed tightly together.
Even with all those thick layers of clothing between them, and even though Aqua quickly started snoring without the slightest trace of dignity, for those two virgins, it was still the most thrilling night they had had since coming to this other world.
Of course, that was only if you ignored the part where Aqua suddenly rolled over in the middle of the night, kicked Kazuma in the face, and mumbled in her sleep, "Another bowl of fried chicken."
And if you also ignored the fact that Kōichi was so tense he did not dare move all night, which left him sore all over the next morning, then yes, it really was a beautiful night.