Before the other man could even draw his sword, Kazuma had already activated Lurk and slipped behind him in an instant.
"Steal!"
With a soft sound, a bulging wallet appeared in Kazuma's hand, while for some mysterious reason, the handsome warrior's belt suddenly came loose.
"You bastard! What did you steal?!" the warrior cried out in shock.
"Nothing much. Just your lunch money for today, and that pretty expensive-looking Adventurer Card of yours." Kazuma flashed a grin worthy of a complete scumbag and casually tossed the wallet to Kōichi. "Captain, this guy's loaded. Looks like our compensation for emotional distress is taken care of."
Kōichi caught the wallet, weighed it in his hand, and looked with satisfaction at the dumbfounded so-called elites.
"Aqua, give our guests a little welcoming gift. Megumin, get your Explosion Magic ready. If they're not out of my sight in thirty seconds, blast that warrior right in the crotch. They're 'elites,' after all. They should be able to take it, right?"
"Leave it to me! Create Water!" Aqua shrieked, and a massive torrent instantly drenched all three of them like drowned rats.
"I am Megumin! In the name of the Crimson Demon Clan's greatest archwizard..." Megumin began her chant, and the magic circle beneath her feet gave off a destructive glow.
"L-lunatics! This whole group is insane!" The handsome warrior grabbed at his nearly falling pants and fled with his companions in a scrambling panic, not even managing to leave behind a single threat.
Kōichi watched their pathetic retreat and snorted coldly before turning to Darkness, who was still sprawled on the ground with dazed eyes.
"Darkness, those guys just called you a small fry. They said you looked like a disgrace to the nobility, and they even wanted to tie you up and hand you over to the Demon King's Army. So... how do you feel about that?"
"Ugh... uooohhh! Being called a small fry... being captured and taken to the Demon King's Army... th-that kind of future, where I'm utterly humiliated... K-Kōichi-sama! Please, go on! Please motivate me with even harsher words!"
Darkness let out a perverted shriek so intense it seemed enough to make the nearby cabbages wilt.
"Tch. Just what I'd expect from one of my party members." Kōichi calmly pocketed the other man's wallet. "Kazuma, quit standing around and get back to work! That golden top-grade cabbage is about to fly over!"
The cabbage harvesting line, which had been relatively orderly until now, instantly descended into total frenzy.
Amid the green afterimages filling the sky, a dazzling streak of gold tore across the air. It was not only absurdly fast, it even pulled off a series of dazzling cobra maneuvers midair, neatly avoiding every adventurer's bug net.
"There it is! The legendary top-grade meat cabbage. One of those is worth five ordinary ones!" Kazuma's eyes instantly turned into Eris symbols. Not even bothering to hold up his nearly slipping pants, he yanked out his shortbow. "Kōichi! It's heading north! That's Axel's most expensive vegetable. We absolutely cannot let it get away!"
Kōichi narrowed his eyes as he watched the golden vegetable that looked like it had its own built-in thruster. The silk-like feel of the robe pressed against his skin kept his mind unusually calm at that moment. "Hmph. Inside my wind-pressure field, even a god will land when I tell it to. Everyone, begin Operation Golden Capture!"
Kōichi swung his staff sharply, and magic surged out like a tidal wave. In an instant, the previously gentle vortex turned violent.
"Bring it down!"
A powerful downdraft descended precisely over the golden cabbage.
It seemed to sense the danger. Its golden glow flared brighter as it tried to force its way upward against the wind.
"Watch this! Snipe!" Kazuma seized the moment and fired a pebble like a shooting star, striking the edge of the cabbage leaf with perfect accuracy. It did not knock it down, but it successfully threw off its flight path.
"Waaah! Don't run! You're my sparkling wine! My fancy dessert!" Aqua wildly swung her huge fishing net as she stumbled after it. "Holy Create Water!"
What she unleashed was no ordinary water, but a high-pressure jet infused with sacred power.
Her intention had been to blast the cabbage down, but thanks to her touching level of intelligence, the water missed the cabbage completely and instead drenched Kazuma, who had been about to jump up and grab it.
"Aqua, you idiot! Where the hell are you aiming that thing?!" Kazuma face-planted straight into the mud.
Just then, the top-grade cabbage made a sharp turn in midair and shot straight toward Darkness, who was currently in full sage mode.
"I-it's coming! Such a powerful, golden impact!" Darkness spread her arms wide, her face glowing with almost martyr-like ecstasy. "Come on! Smash apart this armor of mine that's already on the verge of breaking! Ah..."
"THUD—!!!"
With a dull, heavy crash, the top-grade cabbage slammed straight into Darkness's breastplate.
The enormous force drove her back several steps before she finally toppled backward into the mud.
The cabbage was knocked away by the recoil as well, spinning dizzily through the air.
"Now! Megumin, physical suppression! Kazuma, Bind!" Kōichi shouted.
Megumin had already been holding herself back so hard from not using Explosion Magic that her face was bright red. The instant she heard the order, she pounced like an agile little cat and pinned the still-struggling golden cabbage down with her staff.
"Got you! You vegetable reeking of money!"
"Bind!" Kazuma immediately threw out a sticky rope, wrapping the cabbage layer after layer until it was trussed up tight.
Kōichi stepped forward, looked down at the golden cabbage still wriggling restlessly inside the ropes, and smiled like a victor. "Fifty thousand Eris. Secured. Kazuma, put it in the strongest crate we have. And throw in that Silver Lion wallet while you're at it. Today, we're not just harvesting vegetables. We're harvesting those self-important elites too."
"This is amazing! Long live the captain!" Aqua had already started doing some bizarre victory dance in the mud, paying no attention at all to the fact that her expensive priest robes had been reduced to something like a rag.
But just as everyone was getting ready to wrap things up, an even denser wave of whistling sounds suddenly came from the horizon.
Kōichi looked up, and his expression instantly became rather complicated. It was the final wave, thousands upon thousands of cabbages, and mixed in among them were several gigantic mutant cabbages radiating a dark red aura.
He looked at the dark red cabbage tide blotting out the sky, then at the mountain of cabbage crates piled beside him. At last, his gaze shifted to the little girl trembling all over with excitement, her pupils seeming to burn with crimson lotus flames.
"All right, Megumin. Since you want so badly to display your art, it would be a little too heartless of me as your captain not to indulge you." Kōichi elegantly pulled a bottle of mana potion from his pocket and drank it, feeling his magic recover. "Everyone, fall back! Kazuma, take that crate with the top-grade cabbage! Aqua, stop rolling around in the mud and help carry the boxes! Darkness... Darkness! Stop drooling at those red cabbages. If we don't move now, you're going to get blasted into a charcoal-grilled knight!"
"Huh? Really? Kōichi, you're so cool today it almost makes me want to write off the thirty thousand Eris you owe me!"
Megumin let out a feverish laugh. She stepped forward sharply, pointed her staff at the sky, and let her black cloak snap wildly in the gale.
"I've finally been waiting for this moment! Kazuma, run! Or you'll get caught in it!" The moment Aqua heard there was going to be an explosion, she ran faster than anyone else, and even managed to grab two crates of the best cabbages on the way out.
"So I've gotta carry her home again...? Damn it, my back's really going to be finished today!" Kazuma grumbled, but his hands moved just as fast, quickly directing everyone as they hauled the crates through the city gate.