Just as Kōichi and Kazuma Satou were preparing for a brutal battle to defend the beautiful girls, the atmosphere on the battlefield suddenly warped in an extremely bizarre way.
The pack of half-orcs, who had looked so vicious and menacing, did not pounce on the panicked Wiz or the brain-frozen Yunyun after approaching the carriage as expected.
Instead, they stopped in their tracks. A ravenous, predatory maternal glow burst from their cloudy little eyes, sending chills down Kōichi and Kazuma Satou's spines.
"Wait… Kazuma, doesn't something feel off?" Kōichi's eye twitched as he pointed at the leader, an Orc wearing cheap purple lipstick and two huge coconut shells over her chest. "That one… is she batting her eyelashes at me?"
"…Kōichi, I think we got one thing wrong." Kazuma Satou's face had gone paler than a corpse. Trembling, he searched through his mental store of common knowledge about this world's Monsters. "In this world… the Orc race… is entirely female. In order to reproduce, they periodically go out in groups to hunt strong… human males…"
As if to prove Kazuma right, the lead female Orc let out a thunderous coquettish cry.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh! Sisters, look! We're so lucky today! Three high-quality males! That black-haired one looks like he has amazing stamina. He'll definitely last a long time! The one in the green cloak looks a little weak, but he's pretty cute, so he'll do as a backup! And that blond kid sitting beside the coachman looks like he really knows how to have fun!"
"Help me!! Why the hell am I being counted too?!" Dust, who was sitting in the passenger seat, let out a scream like a pig being slaughtered and scrambled desperately toward the carriage roof.
"Enough talk! Sisters, move out! Chase off those annoying females and bring these three treasures back to the tribe! Tonight, we're throwing a breeding party!"
At that command, fifteen female Orcs, each weighing at least two hundred kilograms, charged forward like bulldozers. Their target was perfectly clear. They went around Yunyun, who was about to cast magic, ignored the trembling Wiz, and even knocked Darkness aside as she stood in the middle of the road.
"…Huh?"
Darkness, who had already struck a pose for being violated and was immersed in fantasies of being ravaged, stood there blankly.
As one Orc brushed past her, she even shoved her aside in disgust. "Move it, tin can! Don't get in my way. I'm going to catch that black-haired cutie!"
"…H-huh?! W-wait a minute!" Darkness's flushed face instantly crumpled, replaced by despair and rage, as if the whole world had abandoned her. "Why are you ignoring me?! I'm Axel's most famous female Knight! I have top-class defense! I-I clearly look very easy to bully right now! Hey! Come back! You pig-headed people, hurry up and ravage me! Don't touch Kōichi and Kazuma. That's my… no, that's my duty!"
"You perverted female Knight, is now really the time to care about that?!" Kazuma Satou frantically backed away while pulling a dagger from his coat, his voice already cracking with tears. "Kōichi! What do we do?! If these pig-headed monsters drag us back, we'll be turned into juicing machines! I absolutely refuse to give my virginity to monsters with pig noses!"
Kōichi watched the Orcs drooling as they lunged toward him with their huge, hairy hands, and his scalp prickled. For the first time, he realized just how sacred and wonderful Wiz's cool embrace and Yunyun's shy touch had been.
Just as Kōichi prepared to make a desperate last stand, and Kazuma Satou had already started considering how to write his will, Aqua, standing on top of the carriage, suddenly looked as if she had figured everything out. Then her divine, self-proclaimed voice rang across the entire battlefield.
"Wait! Everyone, stop!"
Aqua waved her staff and pointed solemnly at the Orcs drooling as they charged toward the men.
"I've figured it out! These pig-headed people aren't after us cute girls at all. They're after those three men with nothing but filth in their heads! In that case, why should we waste energy fighting?"
Yunyun, who had been about to chant Intermediate Magic to support Kōichi, froze. "Eh? But, Aqua-san, Kōichi-san and the others are in danger…"
"It's fine, Yunyun!"
Aqua jumped down from the carriage roof, casually pulled an unopened bottle of sparkling wine and a bag of snacks from the luggage, and sat down on a roadside rock without a care in the world.
"Look, they only want to take them back to make babies. They're not going to eat them. For those three guys, who never had any morals to begin with, this might even be a kind of Heaven in a way. Let's just treat it as giving them a vacation. Come on, Megumin, Wiz, everyone sit down. This is a rare wild courtship show. Miss it, and you'll never get to watch it live again!"
"It feels like something is wrong, but now that you say it, it does sound rather interesting." Megumin crouched beside Aqua, clutching her staff, her eyes gleaming with the joy of watching a show. "As long as it doesn't interfere with my daily shot of Explosion Magic, watching them run around and get some exercise isn't bad."
"Aqua-sama, is this really all right?" Wiz looked worriedly at Kōichi, who was being chased and cornered by three Orcs. "Kōichi-san looks like he's about to cry…"
"Aqua!! You heartless, idiotic goddess! Save us!" Kazuma Satou let out a gut-wrenching howl. He was being chased all over the field by an orc weighing at least three hundred pounds, her huge purple-lipsticked mouth close enough to nearly kiss the back of his head.
"Help! I don't want to father piglets! Kōichi! Think of something! Aren't you full of twisted ideas?!" Dust had completely stopped caring about his image. He was running frantic circles around the carriage, with a line of Orcs snorting and grunting behind him in courtship.
Kōichi's situation was the worst of all, because in the Orcs' eyes, he was the top prize.
The leader wearing coconut shells had both arms spread wide and was charging toward him like an out-of-control heavy tank, shouting, "Don't run, little black-haired boy! Big sister will love you properly! I'll make you the happiest stud in the tribe!"
"…Happy, my ass!"
Kōichi desperately dodged while looking in despair at his female teammates, who were leisurely drinking, snacking, and watching from the sidelines.
"You bunch of women… once I get out of this, I'm locking all of you in the basement for some education in love! Especially you, Aqua! I'm replacing all your sparkling wine with plain water!"
"Waaah… Why… why don't even the pig-headed people want me…"
Only Darkness was kneeling at the edge of the battlefield, gloomily drawing circles, with a gray, lifeless aura behind her.
And so, on the trade route leading to the Water Capital, an utterly absurd scene unfolded.
Three men fled desperately at the front, a group of burly female Orcs madly pursued them with declarations of love from behind, while a group of beautiful girls enjoyed a leisurely roadside picnic and watched the show.