Chapter 270: dark raceHaru turned his head to look at the somewhat frightened Alice. His tone softened slightly, yet remained firm:"Alice, the things those guys taught you are nothing but the lowest dregs of this world. You are the one who is to become the Radiant Princess; you cannot be contaminated by those losers. Do you understand?"Seeing the usually gentle Lord Haru reveal such a majestic side, Alice's heart couldn't help but skip a beat.She lowered the hand covering her eyes and obediently bowed her head, yet a trace of longing for dark power still flickered in her eyes."Y-Yes, Lord Haru. Since it is Lord Haru's command... then I shall temporarily seal this power."She answered in a small voice, then looked at the crying Aqua with some concern."But, please don't be too harsh on Sister Aqua and the others. They are actually... quite interesting.""Their 'interest' is built upon the foundation of shortening my lifespan and emptying my wallet!"Haru rubbed his temples in exasperation."In any case, no one is allowed near Alice for the next few days. I will personally take her into the city for a proper Adventurer's apprenticeship!"In order to thoroughly wash away the perverted common sense instilled in Alice by those losers over the past few days, Haru decided to take her for a walk through the streets of Axel to experience the true, simple (though hard to find in this city) life of an Adventurer.Sunlight spilled onto the stone-paved streets of Axel. Alice had changed into a low-key yet exquisite civilian dress and wore a sun hat that covered half her face. Like a wealthy young lady entering the city for the first time, she was full of curiosity even toward the roasted Cabbage sold at roadside stalls."Wow, Lord Haru, look! That uncle can actually juggle throwing knives while peeling an apple. Is that an Adventurer's special skill?"Alice pulled on Haru's sleeve, her eyes sparkling with a long-lost, pure joy."That's just a street performer, Alice."Haru patted her head with some relief."However, this is what a normal world is like. No roar of Explosion Magic, no wailing of a deadbeat goddess, just people working hard at their lives..."However, before Haru could finish his sentimental reflection, the two walked to a slightly secluded alley entrance.There, a storefront with a decoration style vastly different from the surrounding shops caught their eyes. A heart with small wings was painted on the pink-purple sign, and highly seductive slogans like 'Men's Oasis' and 'Constructing the Ultimate Dream' hung at the door.Most importantly, several male Adventurers who looked dazed but wore mysterious smiles of happiness were walking out of the shop while leaning against the wall, muttering things like 'pink tail' and'so gentle' under their breaths.Alice stopped in her tracks and curiously sized up the shop, even leaning in a bit closer to try and read the wish-list form posted at the entrance."Lord Haru, what does that shop do?"Alice pointed at the sign and turned her head to ask with a face full of innocence."Constructing dreams... could that be a magic house specifically for helping people realize their wishes? I see those Adventurer gentlemen coming out looking like they've become very spirited (in the sense of physical exhaustion)."Haru broke into a cold sweat instantly.He naturally knew what that place was—it was the holy land for all male Adventurers in Axel, a special shop run by Succubi that provided customized erotic dream services."Uh, well, Alice."Haru subconsciously stood in front of Alice, attempting to block her view."That... that is a clinic specifically for providing Deep Sleep Therapy to Adventurers who are under too much work stress and suffer from insomnia. Yes, it's the kind of place where you can go in for a nap and come out full of energy.""Deep Sleep Therapy?"Alice blinked and pointed at a certain line on the form, reading aloud:"'The service of being woken up by a gentle big sister from next door'... Lord Haru, does this also fall under the category of medical treatment? It feels like the doctors in Axel are so gentle.""No, that's... that's to awaken the patient's will to live!"Haru's talent for bullshitting reached its peak at this moment. He forcefully took Alice's hand and began walking in the opposite direction."Only men can enter that place; women will get dizzy if they go in because of magnetic field interference! Let's go, there's even tastier fried chicken legs ahead!""Eh? But Lord Haru, why is your face so red?"Alice was being pulled along, but she didn't forget to look back at the shop filled with a pink atmosphere."Could it be that Lord Haru also frequently goes there to 'treat his illness'? If Lord Haru is under a lot of pressure, Alice can also...""You can do no such thing!!!"Just then, a Succubus dressed as a shop assistant walked out. Seeing Haru, she waved enthusiastically:"Oh my, Lord Haru, have you brought such a cute girl with you today? Although we don't receive women, if you have any special requests, we can also..."Haru felt the string in his brain called 'reason' snap under the unbearable weight.The Succubus lady, wearing purple eyeshadow and possessing a figure that was illegally hot, walked over while swaying her slender waist. That pink tail with a heart-shaped tip traced an inviting arc in the air.She clearly recognized Haru, an Adventurer who was somewhat famous in Axel, and even had a hint of a teasing smile. That phrase'special requests' sounded exceptionally piercing in the quiet alley."Special requests? Lord Haru, what is that? Is it some kind of higher-level deep sleep magic?"Alice's eyes were wide and round. Instead of shrinking back, she looked at the Succubus's flexible tail with a face full of admiration."And this aura... this fluctuation of magic power filled with temptation and the scent of the abyss! As I thought, you must be the 'dark race' that Master Megumin mentioned—those who guard this world from the shadows and are not accepted by the mundane world!""Oh? dark race?"The Succubus lady froze for a moment, then covered her mouth and began to giggle. Her laughter carried a magic that could make a man's bones go soft."Hehe, this little sister certainly has a way with words. While we do indeed work in the shadows (at night), our work is much more comfortable than guarding the world. What's this, Lord Haru? Have you finally decided to bring this pure young lady into the adult world?""S-Shut up! It's not like that!"Haru took a sudden step forward, shielding Alicebehind him like a lion protecting its food. He even grabbed Alice's hand tightly out of sheer nervousness."Miss Succubus, please have some self-respect! This is... this is my distant cousin; she's just a child! She has absolutely, completely, one hundred percent no interest in your business!""But Lord Haru, I want to try it!"
Chapter 271: That Kind of Headache-Inducing Excellent AdventurerAlice poked her small head out from under Haru's arm, her tone so determined it made Haru want to die:"Since this big sister is of a dark race, she must know many Forbidden Spells that Master Meguminhasn't had time to teach me yet! Please let me communicate with her; I can even pay double the Sacrifice Gold!""Double the Sacrifice Gold?"The succubus's eyes instantly lit up in the shape of eris coins. She leaned over, intentionally displaying her deep cleavage in front of Alice, her tone becoming extremely gentle."Oh? Although we don't normally accept women as a rule, if it's such a cute girl and Lord Haru's cousin, we might be able to provide some girl-only 'bestie night talk' sweet dreams... For example, doing some... hehehe... with this handsome Lord Haru in a dream...""Hehehe?" Alice tilted her head with a look of pure innocence."Do you mean going to subjugate a Demon Kings Army General with Lord Haru in a dream? That's wonderful! Please be sure to arrange it for me!""Enough! Everyone, stop right there!"Haru let out a desperate roar. He covered Alice's eyes with one hand and pointed a trembling finger at the succubus with the other."You, get back in the shop immediately! Even if you paid me today, I wouldn't step foot inside! Alice, follow me! Now! Immediately! Right away!"Haru practically carried Alice half-way as he fled that street full of pink traps like a whirlwind, under the strange gazes of the surrounding Adventurers.While Haru was busy gesturing on a park bench, trying to explain the essential difference between Essence and Mana, and why that sister with a tail was actually a Soul Harvester rather than a Dark Mentor, his sharp intuition was suddenly pricked as if by a needle.In the shadows at the end of the street, several figures wearing dark cloaks with hoods pulled low flashed by.Their movements were perfectly synchronized, and even their breathing rhythms were suppressed exceptionally well. This was definitely not the level of discipline possessed by those boneheaded Adventurers in Axel who only knew how to drink and talk nonsense."Lord Haru? What's wrong? The expression on your face suddenly became like a general about to head to the battlefield..."Alice keenly noticed Haru's stiffness. She gripped her skirt somewhat uneasily."Was it the Sacrifice Gold I mentioned just now that made you angry? If it's not allowed, I definitely won't mention it again...""No, Alice, stay calm and listen to me."Haru's voice was extremely low. He didn't turn back to confirm those gazes but instead pulled Alice a bit closer, as if whispering affectionately."Don't look back. A few flies have caught up. It seems the news of you coming out has made the people from the Royal Capital restless after all."Alice's body trembled slightly, and a flicker of complex emotion passed through her eyes—there was worry, but also a strange sort of resistance.She naturally knew who those people were.They were royal spies, or perhaps the search party sent by Klein."Are they... here to take me back?"Alice lowered her head, her voice sounding a bit dejected."But, I haven't defeated the Demon King with everyone yet... I haven't learned the Ultimate Secret Technique Master Megumin mentioned, and I haven't even treated Lord Haru to a real Adventurer's feast...""What silly things are you saying?"The corner of Haru's mouth curled into a slightly scum-like yet reassuring arc. He stood up and casually helped Alice straighten her slightly tilted sun hat."I promised you that I'd let you enjoy freedom here. Since they want to play hide-and-seek, we'll play with them. In Axel, you can't catch someone just by having more people and wearing uniforms."Haru took Alice's hand and strode toward the crowded throng ahead."Hey, Haru! Why are you guys walking so fast!"From behind came Aqua's signature, headache-inducing shout. She had actually broken free from the Bind and was chasing after them while wiping away tears."Wait for me! I just found a bun in the trash can that looks delicious. Do you want to share it? Ouch!"Because she was running too fast, Aqua happened to crash right into one of the black-cloaked figures, and the trash can bun in her hand was smeared directly onto the other person's cold face."Ah! My bun! You guy in black, how dare you plot against my bun!"Aqua sat on the ground, pointing at the dumbfounded Spy and wailing loudly."Haru! He's bullying me!"Watching this scene, Haru's originally tensed nerves snapped halfway in an instant.Although Aqua was a nuisance, it had to be said that this kind of god-tier intrusion was indeed the best smokescreen for shaking off pursuers.Taking advantage of the chaotic moment where Aqua was grabbing the Spy's collar, tearfully accusing him that wasting food was an absolute sin forbidden by the Axis Order's tenets, and trying to force a missionary pamphlet into his hand, Harudecisively grabbed Alice's hand and ducked into the shadows behind a nearby fruit stall.From behind, Aqua's highly piercing voice could still faintly be heard:"Since you ruined my bun, it means you are fated to be with me! Come, young man, sign this application to join the order, and you can receive the protection of the Goddess (that's me)! Even if it's unpaid debts or drunken brawling, as long as you apologize while crying, you'll definitely be forgiven!""Let's go, before those spies recover from the mental pollution," Haru whispered to Alice.The two of them wound through the intricate alleys of Axel.Although Alice was running out of breath, her sparkling eyes were filled with unprecedented excitement.This feeling of escape, like something out of a Spymovie that she could never experience in the palace, made every hair on her body feel like it was dancing joyfully."Huff... huff... Lord Haru, are we outlaws now?"Alice asked with some anticipation while wiping the fine sweat from her forehead."Big sister Aqua's fighting style just now was truly profound. Is that some kind of secret technique called 'Linguistic Dimensional Reduction Strike'? I saw that uncle in the black cloak's hands were shaking.""Don't learn from her. That's a suicidal attack that can only be launched by someone whose intelligence has hit zero."Haru looked back somewhat guiltily to confirm, and after ensuring no black cloaks were following, he finally slowed his pace slightly."However, Aqua indeed did a great service. Those spies probably won't want to hear the four words 'Axis Order' again for the rest of their lives."The two of them now stopped under a relatively secluded stone bridge.The river flowed quietly, and the clamor from the direction of the Adventurers Guild could still be heard in the distance."Lord Haru."Alice suddenly stopped. She lowered her head, looking at their hands which were still tightly clasped together, her voice becoming soft."Thank you. Even though taking me for an internship would cause so much trouble, and even though you could have continued living a peaceful life just by handing me over to them... you still chose to run away with me."She looked up, revealing a smile brighter than the sun:"I've decided! To repay Lord Haru, I will definitely work hard to study and become an excellent Adventurer who can not only swing a sword but also be as headache-inducing as big sister Aqua!""Please be sure to cross out that last goal!"Haru retorted almost subconsciously.
Chapter 272: Axis CultistsOver the next few days, Haru and Alice left their footprints in every street and alley of Axel.Haru took her to the guild to see those rough men arguing over a few eris, took her outside the city walls to see the Giant Toads being chased around by novice Adventurers, and even took her to experience Axel's most famous part-time job—moving bricks on a construction site."Lord Haru, even though the sweat is salty, the feeling of earning money for food with my own two hands is truly fulfilling!"Alice clutched the few hundred eris she had just received in wages, her face overflowing with a vitality she had never experienced in the royal palace.However, happy times are always short-lived.As the search signals from the Royal Capital became more frequent, Alice also understood that if she didn't go back, Klein might actually lead an army to turn Axel upside down."Lord Haru, it's time for me to return."One early morning, Alice stood at the city gate, having changed back into her ordinary but clean travel clothes. Her eyes held a trace of reluctance and an unprecedented determination."But please don't worry, I am no longer that little princess who only knows how to wait for protection in a greenhouse. Next time we meet, I will definitely stand by your side with dignity as the AdventurerAlice!"Haru smiled with relief and was about to say a few touching farewell words when he noticed under the shade of a nearby tree that those royal spies, who were murderous and efficient just a few days ago, were now lined up in a solemn row... washing dishes?No, they weren't just washing dishes.Every one of them wore the iconic blue headscarf of the Axis Order, held a thick stack of missionary leaflets in their hands, and was chanting a certain eerie scripture in unison:"eris pads her chest! Only by throwing yourself into Lady Aqua's embrace can you obtain true salvation! Even if you fail at work, as long as you say it's a devil's conspiracy, everything will be fine!"One of the spies saw Alice and, surprisingly, didn't rush over to carry out the mission immediately. Instead, he ran over with a fanatical expression and handed her a leaflet:"Oh! Lost maiden! Looking at you, are you going on a long journey? Before you set off, why not consider joining our Axis Order? After joining, even if you get lost in the wilderness, as long as you cry out Lady Aqua's name loudly, a... a kind of miracle will happen that, while useless, is very lively!"Alice was stunned, and Haru was completely petrified."Wait, wait a minute."Haru pointed tremblingly at this group of elite spies who were now completely ruined, then looked at Aqua, who was standing nearby laughing heartily with her hands on her hips and a proud face."Aqua, what did you do to them? They're the elites of the Royal Capital, professional personnel responsible for national security!""Hmph hmph hmph! Haru, you underestimate my divine charm!"Aqua puffed out her not-so-full chest proudly."I just told them gently when they were feeling despondent after being hit in the face with buns: since they'll be punished for failing the mission, why not just give up on themselves and join us? Anyway, Axis Cultists never worry about tomorrow. As a result, they cried and shouted for me to baptize them! Look, these are the highest quality believers I've developed recently!"One spy even pulled out a note saying Klein is bald in front of Alice, tore it to pieces, and shouted with a face full of liberation:"I've realized! What royal command, what mission—none of it is as important as the Party Trick: Human Fountain that Lady Aqua taught me! Princess Alice, please return on your own. We are staying here to build a new statue for Lady Aqua!"Alice looked at this group of subordinates who had been completely 'Aqua-fied' and remained silent for a long time, finally revealing a complex smile that was both sympathetic and somewhat fortunate."Lord Haru... I think the Royal Capital might need a long time to digest this surprise."Watching that group of once-shrewd and capable spies, now in an orderly line, singing 'The Song of the Axis Cultists' as they escorted Alice's carriage slowly into the distance, Haru stood at the gates of Axel, feeling that even the breeze carried a chill named 'a troubled future'.Alice waved goodbye frantically from the carriage window, while the captain of her guards solemnly bowed to a roadside sign and shouted loudly:"For Lady Aqua's alcohol money, set off!"Haru could even imagine what kind of hellish scene it would be in the palace when this group returned to the Royal Capital and performed the Human Fountain in front of Klein and the King to report on their work."Wahahahaha! Great! This is just great!"Aqua's insane laughter came from beside him.This goddess with a questionable IQ had her hands on her hips, laughing so hard toward the departing carriage that tears were almost coming out. Her smug face was even more arrogant than if she had won the lottery.Haru's eye twitched as he looked at her:"Hey, Aqua. What exactly are you so excited about? Do you realize you just destroyed the royal family's most elite intelligence force? If Klein investigates this, our whole family will be wanted as cult leaders, you know?""What nonsense are you talking about, Haru! Your vision is too small!"Aqua turned her head and looked at Haru with a face full of disdain, as if she were the genius with an IQ of 200."Those guards aren't ordinary humans; they are the seeds I planted with my own hands! They are the sparks of hope!""Seeds?"Haru had an ominous premonition."Exactly!"Aqua spread her arms as if embracing the whole world, her eyes flashing with fanatical light."When they return to the Royal Capital, they will promote the great teachings of our Axis Order in aristocratic circles, in the Knights Order, and even at the King's bedside! Think about it, once they spread the philosophy that failing as long as you try and being in debt is also a form of training, everyone in the Royal Capital will understand that turning to me is the only way out!"She leaned in close to Haru, lowering her voice mysteriously, but sounding somewhat sharp due to her excitement:"When that time comes, the Axis Order will become the state religion of the Belzerg Kingdom! I will be the God of the state religion! And you, Haru, considering you usually provide meals despite shouting at me, I'll reluctantly let you be the Chief High Priest! Then all the taverns in the kingdom will be open to us for free, wahahahaha!"Haru's mouth twitched violently; he could already see the future:The originally prosperous kingdom, under the leadership of a group of self-abandoning and logically eccentric Axis Cultists, rapidly heading toward the end of financial bankruptcy and spiritual ruin."Aqua, listen carefully."Haru took a deep breath and held Aqua's swaying shoulders, his tone as heavy as if he were giving his last words."If that day really comes, I will definitely tie you up first and hand you over to the Demon Kings Army. Maybe the Demon Kings Army is the last line of rational defense in this world.""Eh?! Haru, you're too heartless! I'm working hard for everyone's bright future! Apologize! Apologize to the goddess who sacrificed herself for the order!"PS: I've had a lot going on lately so I haven't been in the zone, but I'll be back to normal soon. I'll do my best!
Chapter 273: The Future of the Kingdom of BelzergThe carriage sped along the bumpy forest road. The sound of wheels crushing gravel should have made Alice feel a slight weight at the thought of returning home, but at this moment, she felt as if she had discovered an unexcavated ancient ruin.She sat upright and still, her slender fingers gently flipping open that copy of the "Axis Cult Canon," which emitted the smell of cheap ink and a mysterious aroma of wine.The first page of this small booklet, which Aquaclaimed was a bible that could change one's fate, was written in a twisted font:[As long as Axis Cultists work hard, they can definitely achieve anything (referring to screwing things up), so it doesn't matter if you fail; it's all society's fault.]"As long as you cry and apologize, you can be forgiven..."Alice used those bright eyes, which usually reviewed state documents, to study the essence of the canon word by word. The expression on her face shifted from confusion to a sudden, fanatical realization."I see! Klein taught me before that as a member of the royal family, I must maintain my dignity at all times, and even if I make a mistake, I must find perfect political rhetoric to cover it up. But this holy scripture points out that dignity is just a hypocritical shackle. Only sincere tantrums and a complete shirking of responsibility can touch the soft parts of human nature!"She tried to imitate Aqua's appearance from the canon's illustrations, tilting her head slightly, placing her hands together by her cheek, and squeezing out a pitiful expression:"I'm sorry, Father. Although I took all the money from the national treasury to fund Lord Haru's purchase of a mansion, it's because the clouds that day looked too much like gold coins. This must be the temptation of a devil. Please, you must forgive the weak and fragile me!"After speaking, Alice herself shuddered, her cheeks turning crimson as a strange light, like that of discovering a new continent, flickered in her eyes."So profound... Is this the survival wisdom that the Adventurers of Axel rely on? Lord Haru must also face this kind of mental trial every day to have become so powerful!"Outside the carriage window, the Captain of the Guard, who was escorting her on horseback, suddenly leaned in. His Axis-blue bandana fluttered in the wind as he tapped the window frame with a solemn expression:"Princess Alice, are you studying the holy scripture? According to the third chapter of the teachings I just realized, if the carriage is moving too slowly, we shouldn't whip the horses; instead, we should loudly blame gravity for being too heavy! Should we stop and protest against the earth for a bit?""That makes a lot of sense, Captain!"Alice nodded vigorously and closed the canon, her tone filled with the dignity of a Princess and... a certain indescribable aura of a useless shut-in."Since the earth is not cooperating with our return journey, we shall rest right here until this planet realizes its mistake!"Thus, at a location less than half a day's journey from the Royal Capital, this elite squad that was supposed to report back post-haste actually set up camp by the roadside and began collectively pointing fingers at the ground.Far away in Axel, Haru suddenly felt a chill at the back of his head, as if some massive weapon of causality spanning national borders was precisely locking onto the future of the Kingdom of Belzerg.However, Haru had more pressing headaches at the moment.He stood in the mansion's hall, which was spacious enough to play football in, looking at the suffocatingly decadent scene before him:Aqua was lying on an expensive velvet sofa, tossing high-grade grapes into her mouth while using Sacred Magic to heat up chilled sparkling wine;Darkness was hugging a cold stone pillar with an extremely dangerous blush on her face, murmuring, "Oh... this feeling of emptiness from a soul being corrupted by a life of luxury is simply the greatest humiliation to me. Please, let it come more fiercely!";As for Kazuma, he was burying himself in a pile of money, trying to figure out how to build an automatic massage chair using eris coins."Enough! You bunch of irredeemable deadbeats!"Haru's roar echoed through the mansion. He snatched the wine bottle from Aqua's hand and kicked Kazuma's ankle for good measure."Look at yourselves! We are Adventurers, not househusbands kept by a rich woman! If this continues, your muscles will atrophy, your intelligence will... well, Aqua's intelligence was already negative, but at least your Adventurer cards will rust from lack of updates!""What does it matter, Haru~?"Aqua rolled over on the sofa like a salted fish, waving her hand feebly."We have so much money now, we could live until the next century even if we just lie here. It's so dangerous to go out and subjugate monsters. What if I get this expensive raiment dirty? This is a sacred material; it's very expensive to wash!""Exactly, Haru."Kazuma looked up lazily, his eyes full of compromise with reality."The world outside is full of Giant Toads, Killers Bees, and those things that self-destruct at the drop of a hat. Here, we have air conditioning, gourmet food, and the freedom of not having to work. Why look for trouble?"Haru gave a cold laugh and slowly pulled a thick ledger from his coat—it was a financial report he had precisely calculated as the captain."In that case, I announce that starting tomorrow, the maintenance fees for the mansion, Aqua's wine money, Darkness's armor repair fees, and Kazuma's... anyway, all extra bonuses are cancelled. From now on, you can only live on the basic subsidies from the guild, which means eating nothing but pickles and cold rice every day."The entire room instantly fell into a deathly silence."Wa-Wait a minute! Lord Haru! You're joking, right? Without expensive sparkling wine, the teachings of the Axis Order cannot be sublimated!"Aqua scrambled off the sofa and grabbed Haru's leg, starting to wail."Tsk, you win."Kazuma stood up grumbling and began searching for his Dust-covered short sword.Only Megumin raised her staff excitedly:"Oh! Is it finally starting? My blood of the Crimson Demon Clan is already boiling! For today's Explosion Magic, I must find a grand-scale target!"When this team of second-generation rich Adventurers, each with their own ulterior motives and staggering steps, appeared at the guild entrance, the originally noisy tavern fell silent for a second.Just as Haru was about to head toward the Quest Board, Dust, who was sitting in a corner with a bruised and swollen face, saw Haru and his eyes lit up, pouncing over as if he had seen a literal lifesaver."Yo! Haru! My good brother!"Dust threw an arm around Haru's shoulder and lowered his voice, his tone full of misery."Listen, brother, I'm so strapped for cash right now I'm about to hock my underwear. Those loan sharks are blocking me at the guild entrance every day. You're going on a quest, right? Take me with you! Whether it's poking a hornet's nest or raiding a Goblin nest, as long as it pays, I, Dust, will be your most loyal Meat shield!"Haru looked at Axel's famous trouble-maker, then at the group of distracted teammates behind him, and let out a deep sigh.
Chapter 274: Some Sort of Irredeemable Perverted DesireHaru looked at the various faces of the group before him and rubbed his temples helplessly.Dust's face, which practically screamed 'I'm a debt collector's worst nightmare,' was leaning in extremely close; Haru could even smell the scent of cheap ale mixed with sweat on him."Alright, Dust, move your face away."Haru pressed a finger against Dust's forehead and pushed him back a bit."I can take you along, but let's get the unpleasantness out of the way first. If you end up getting us surrounded during a battle because you were too busy picking up copper coins off the ground, I will personally tie you up right in the center of Megumin's Explosion Magic impact zone.""No problem! Lord Haru! You're like my own big brother!"Dust immediately stood up straight and gave a highly non-standard knightly salute. Then, he impatiently pointed at the gold-bordered, slightly yellowed bounty notice at the very top of the quest board."Since we're doing this, let's go big! Look at this: Subjugate the Rampaging Griffin on the outskirts of Axel! The bounty is a full five million eris! As long as we finish this job, my debts can be cleared, and you guys can upgrade to a more luxurious set of tableware. It's a win-win!""Five million? Are you trying to get us killed in the wilderness so you can inherit our mansion?"Satou Kazuma immediately let out a sharp retort. He pulled his neck back and pointed to a draft in the very corner of the quest board that looked like it had been posted for half a year and was starting to grow mold."I think this one is pretty good: Clear out the Giant Rats in the farm warehouse. Although the reward is only five thousand eris, it's safe! Besides, maybe we can bring the rat meat back for Aqua to have as a snack with her drinks. This is what a truly steady-handed Adventurer should choose!""Who are you saying should eat rat meat?! Are you trying to let a Goddess like me sink to that level? Kazuma, you shut-in NEET!"Aqua stomped her feet in anger, then, as if she had discovered some treasure, she pointed to another quest."Look at this! Purify a noble's contaminated private swimming pool! Now this is a job suited for me! It shows off my sacred water magic, and I can play in the water while I'm at it. The reward is even thirty thousand eris and a case of high-end red wine!""Hmm... if it's a Griffin, it must have very sharp claws, right?"Darkness had approached the Griffin bounty notice at some point. Her breathing grew rapid, and an abnormal flush rose to her cheeks."To be pinned to the ground and ravaged by such massive claws, or even carried high into the sky and dropped... ah, that's simply the highest form of execution! Haru, please, we must choose this Griffin!""My Explosion Magic... thirsts for an even larger scale roar..."Megumin had already begun to gather a faint red light at the tip of her staff, her eyes filled with a dangerous desire for destruction.Haru looked at this group of people, each with their own agenda, and finally let his gaze fall on the center of the quest board. There was a quest there with a moderate reward, but the content seemed a bit bizarre:[Subjugate the Running Alarm Clock Monsters appearing on the outskirts of Axel. Although they have no attack power, their cries are extremely miserable and cause insomnia. Reward: 100,000 eris.]"All of you, shut up."Haru snatched the Alarm Clock Monster quest down."The Griffin is too dangerous, the rats are too disgusting, and the pool Purification is just for play. What we need is a target like this that can train agility, earn some pocket money, and won't let Darkness enjoy herself too much. Let's go!"After the group wandered around and reached the quest location.Haru was just about to direct Dust and Darkness to perform an outflanking maneuver when Wiz's familiar, tearful voice suddenly drifted over from a nearby thicket.The beautiful Lich shopkeeper was seen clutching a pile of unknown withered herbs, looking in terror at the giant alarm clock that was frantically dancing on the plains and emitting a sharp time-telling sound."Wiz? What are you doing here?"Just as Haru turned back to ask, the Alarm Clock Monster suddenly let out an ear-splitting roar:"Ring-a-ling! Wake up! NEETs have no future! Get up and go move bricks!""Ahhh! Lord Haru, please make everyone calm down!"Wiz was so frantic that the herbs in her hands dropped all over the ground. She stumbled over and pointed at the clock's mainspring, which was glowing with an eerie purple light, and shouted,"That's a magic item prototype Mr. Vanir made a while ago to bring a hellish morning to lazy Adventurers! It was discarded because its power source is too dangerous—it absorbs the mental stress, anger, and anxiety of everyone within a hundred-meter radius! The angrier everyone gets, the larger its size becomes and the louder its sound gets!"The expression on Haru's face froze instantly. He slowly turned his head to look at the group of teammates behind him.Aqua was rolling on the ground in a rage due to the noise pollution, cursing wildly:"This damn piece of scrap metal! How dare it be so loud in front of a Goddess! I'm going to melt it into scrap! I'm so mad! I'm really so mad!"Kazuma, meanwhile, had fallen into extreme gloom and anxiety as the fear of being dominated by alarm clocks during his past life as a shut-in was triggered. The negative energy he radiated was almost materializing into a black mist.As for Dust, the thought that he would have to continue living a life of hiding from debts if he didn't catch this thing made his anxiety erupt like a volcano.Thump!!!Following the fluctuations in everyone's emotions, the Alarm Clock Monster let out a dull thud, and its size actually swelled another size larger in front of everyone's eyes. Its body, which was originally only two meters tall, was now nearly the size of a small mountain. Its massive metal hands spun wildly like twin scythes of a death god, even slicing through the air."Look! It's getting bigger!"Dust screamed in terror."And did it just call me a broke debtor? How does it know! Damn it, this feeling of being seen through is so infuriating!""It's no use, Mr. Dust!"Wiz covered her face in despair."The more you want to defeat it, the stronger it becomes! It will only stop when everyone completely lets go of their stress and maintains inner peace and joy!""Let this group of people maintain inner peace?"Haru looked at Megumin, whose eyes were wild as she prepared to chant Explosion Magic, and Darkness, who was flushed and eager to face the giant clock hands. A smile that looked worse than crying appeared on his face."Wiz, you might as well just tell us the world is ending; it would be faster."Haru looked at the giant alarm clock that had expanded enough to nearly block out the sun and was letting out roars of 'NEETs, wake up!' loud enough to shatter glass. His brain worked rapidly amidst the extreme noise. An ordinary person's stress was negative energy, but what if the nature of this energy changed from anxiety into some sort of irredeemable perverted desire?"Everyone, get back! I have a plan!"Haru shouted, then grabbed the shoulders of Darkness, who was trembling with excitement, and pushed her to the very front of the party."Darkness! See that massive, frantically spinning clock hand that's ready to grind you into the ground at any moment? See the shame generated by it getting bigger and bigger, enough to make everyone in Axel think you're oversleeping?"
Chapter 275: The Two Black Sheep of AxelDarkness's breathing instantly became heavy, her pupils dilated slightly, and her golden hair danced wildly in the gale. The flush on her face had already spread to the base of her neck:"Haru... Are, are you saying you want me to go alone and face that... that giant monster that makes those sounds and attacks me with those movements? And... and everyone in the city will know I'm struggling because of something like this... Ah... this pleasure of being abandoned as a sacrificial offering...""Exactly! That's it! Release all your desires!"Haru turned and shouted to everyone,"Quick! Everyone, transfer all your stress into contempt for Darkness! We're going to use this perverted energy to blow it apart!"Darkness let out a scream and resolutely charged toward the Alarm Clock Monster.The giant alarm clock had clearly never seen such a spectacle. It had originally detected anxiety and anger, but now, a thick, almost viscous wave of chaotic energy called masochism was surging toward it like a tsunami."Ding-a-ling... ling?"The Alarm Clock Monster's hands froze in mid-air.Its logic core, manufactured by Vanir, began to flash red violently."Come! Reprimand my laziness with your loudest voice! Tear through my armor with your cold metal hands! Let me sink completely into this shame under the public gaze!"Darkness spread her arms and crashed directly into the base of the Alarm Clock Monster, an expression of extreme, broken happiness on her face.The Alarm Clock Monster's massive body began to shake violently, and the originally purple light of the mainspring actually began to turn an eerie pink.Its stress-absorbing circuits, upon coming into contact with Darkness's off-the-charts perverted desires, actually emitted a sizzling sound of overloading."Eh?! It, it changed color?!"Aqua's eyes widened, and she even forgot to cry,"That monster... is it shaking? Is it scared of Darkness?""No, that's a logic collapse."Kazuma backed away a few steps with a look of utter disgust,"If it were me, I wouldn't be able to stand being confessed to by a pervert like that while they're pressed against my body. That monster is probably thinking: 'I'm just an alarm clock, why am I being forced to endure this?'"Wiz watched from the side, dumbfounded:"Ah... Mr. Vanir's experiment... is actually falling into a system infinite loop because it can't analyze such profound love... Miss Darkness is truly powerful in a certain sense."Just as Haru was marveling at how Darkness's perverted energy could cause magical technology to fall into a logic lock, he keenly sensed a subtle chemical reaction behind him—one unique to social dregs.He saw Satou Kazuma and Dust, whose tense bodies had relaxed at some point. They were crouching low, like two stray cats that had discovered a large fish head in a junkyard, exchanging a highly synchronized look from a distance.A scum-like curve hooked at the corner of Kazuma's mouth, his eyes rapidly scanning the Alarm Clock Monster's gold-glinting gears and ruby-encrusted mainspring;Dust, meanwhile, was unconsciously rubbing his hands together, his breathing becoming light and fast—the frequency a creditor has when seeing cash."Hey, Dust."Kazuma lowered his voice, his tone carrying the seductive air of 'let's pull off a big job,'"Do you see that? That smoking left axle. If I'm not mistaken, that's high-purity Mithril alloy, right? Parts of that quality, even if stripped and sold as scrap metal, would be enough for you to get a lifetime VIP gold card at the Succubus Shop."*Gulp.*Dust swallowed hard, his eyes bulging,"It's more than just Mithril! Look at that main pendulum, it's made of Black Steel with incredible magic resistance! If we can strip it whole and sell it to the weapon shop owner, I could not only pay off my high-interest loans but also buy an apartment with a garden in the city, and hire two beautiful maids... wait, I mean hire two maids who can help me block my creditors!""While Haru is busy observing and Darkness is busy outputting, let's get over there."Kazuma's hand was already reaching for the short sword at his waist (or rather, his crowbar),"I'll be responsible for using [Steal] to precisely strip the key bearings, and you'll be responsible for violently dismantling the casing. We split it fifty-fifty, how about it?""Deal! You really are my soulmate, Kazuma!"The two black sheep of Axel reached an immediate agreement.Just as the Alarm Clock Monster emitted a sizzling wail and even began to belch thick pink smoke due to Darkness rubbing against it, the two figures darted out like arrows from a bow."Hey! What do you two bastards think you're doing?!"By the time Haru reacted, the two had already rushed under the crumbling mountain of metal."[Steal]!"Kazuma shouted, a white light flashed in his hand, and a precision gear radiating magical fluctuations appeared out of thin air in his palm."Take my Creditor-B-Gone Kick!"Dust delivered a mid-air kick, slamming heavily into the already loosened side plating of the Alarm Clock Monster.However, with the key gear stolen by Kazuma, the pressure circuits inside the Alarm Clock Monster, which were already spinning wildly, instantly lost their final braking mechanism.The originally pink smoke rapidly turned black, and the sound of twisting metal and the sharp shriek of magical energy losing control echoed from within.Just as Kazuma was proudly weighing the Mithril gear in his hand and Dust was fantasizing about trading the Black Steel pendulum for maid services, the pitch-black mass of pressure smoke finally broke the critical point."W-wait! That color isn't right!"Wiz let out a sharp cry, shrinking behind Haru like a startled cat,"Mr. Vanir said that if the core is forcibly dismantled, the pressure inside will transform into a pure emotional shockwave! And... and those materials are actually just the lowest quality pig iron disguised with gold paint!""What did you say?!"Kazuma and Dust screamed in unison.But it was already too late.The gear in Kazuma's hand, which had looked golden, rapidly peeled and lost its paint, revealing the original appearance of rusted, foul-smelling scrap metal inside.At that moment, it seemed everyone saw that masked devil striking an exaggerated chuunibyou pose and mocking them.Simultaneously, the Alarm Clock Monster's massive body emitted a final, mocking 'Ding-a-ling!!!'BOOM—!!!A dull thud followed. There was no fire, no shockwave; instead, a thick, ink-like black burst of mental energy exploded outward in a ring.This energy precisely captured the two most greedy souls on the scene, those who knew not the meaning of 'cheap.'"Waaaaahhhh!"
Chapter 276: Two Ingredients Exuding a Top-Tier Delicious ScentDust was hit head-on by the black smoke, and his whole body flew out in a spread-eagle shape, slamming heavily onto the grass.But he wasn't injured; instead, he sat up abruptly, his hands frantically clawing at his hair, his eyes filled with unprecedented terror:"It's over! It's all over! Those creditors... they don't just want my money, they want my life! I just did the math, and the interest I owe has rolled up enough to buy half the Royal Capital! If I don't go to work right now, when the sun rises tomorrow, I'll be chopped into mincemeat to feed those damn Giant Toads! The pressure... the pressure is so heavy! Someone save me!"This usually carefree punk warrior was actually completely crushed by concentrated anxiety at this moment, tearfully confessing to a crooked-necked tree that he shouldn't have gambled.Meanwhile, Satou Kazuma was enveloped by another burst of dark red energy.The scrap metal gear in his hand fell to the ground with a clatter. His face instantly turned from pale to ashen, veins popped on his forehead, and his gaze became even more vicious than a malevolent ghost's."Damn it... damn it all!!!"Kazuma let out a beast-like roar, spun around abruptly, and began punching the air frantically."That bastard Vanir! To think he'd trick me with such cheap trash! And this damn world! Why did I have to suffer like this after reincarnating? Why do I have to carry this group of useless teammates who can't do anything but hold me back? Haru! Why didn't you tell me earlier that it was a fake! Did you want to see me make a fool of myself? Huh?! I'm going to kill the guy who made that alarm clock! I'm going to stomp his mask into smithereens!"The usually calm and snarky Kazuma was now dominated by anger, completely losing his reason. He was currently trying to charge at Wiz, scaring her into immediately activating transparency to disappear on the spot.Haru looked at one teammate drawing circles on the ground questioning life, and the other frantically demolishing things. Then he looked at Darkness, who was still rubbing against the wreckage of the alarm clock with a look of pure satisfaction, and let out a deep sigh."As they say, the phrase 'penny wise, pound foolish' is a universal truth in any world."Haru stood on the messy plains, looking at this disastrous scene that would be enough to make any normal Adventurer party disband on the spot.Darkness was hugging a piece of scrap metal from the alarm clock, a blissful smile on her face that made one want to call the police;Wiz was huddled behind a distant tree, only daring to show a pair of trembling eyes;But the most troublesome ones were the two guys completely polluted by negative emotions.Kazuma was now like a mad dog whose territory had been stolen, trying to use his short sword to hack at a stubborn rock he couldn't possibly cut, his mouth never stopping as he cursed everything from the damn world to the useless goddess and every other word he could think of.Meanwhile, Dust had completely regressed into a mollusk, trying to bury himself in a dirt pit while muttering:"As long as I can't see the creditors, the creditors can't see me... as long as I turn into dirt, I don't have to pay back the money..."Haru looked down at the crumpled quest form, then at his two teammates who were currently at their life's peak and life's valley respectively, and a somewhat scum-like curve appeared at the corner of his mouth."Since the mission is completed, there's no reason to waste time here."Haru muttered to himself, then pulled out some coarse hemp rope he had prepared earlier but hadn't used yet from his backpack."Kazuma, Dust, although your current states are terrible, as the captain, I will absolutely never abandon a teammate... especially when I still need to rely on you to collect the bounty.""Stop being so hypocritical! Haru! Your smile right now is clearly more evil than Vanir's!"Kazuma turned his head, roaring with bloodshot eyes,"What are you trying to do? Do you want to tie me up and drag me back to town? Do you want everyone in Axel to see me like this and laugh at me for being a shut-in who went crazy from an alarm clock explosion? I'm telling you, I will never yield!""Don't misunderstand, Kazuma, I'm just helping you move faster."As Haru spoke, he skillfully tied a slipknot. While Kazuma was still frantically spewing profanities, he used his agility advantage to instantly circle behind him and tie his hands firmly behind his back."Let me go! You scum man! I'm going to the guild to file a complaint against you! I'm going to tell Goddess Eris that you're abusing a reincarnated person!"Haru completely ignored Kazuma's roars and turned to look at Dust in the dirt pit:"As for you, Dust. If you don't come with me, I'll tell those creditors who are currently blocking people at the city gate where you are, and by the way, I'll tell them you just pocketed a priceless Mithril Gear.""Eek! I'll go! I'll go, okay!"Dust jumped up like a spring. Although his face was written with despair and anxiety, his fear of creditors clearly triumphed over his desire to turn into dirt.Thus, under the midday sun, a strange sight appeared on the streets of Axel:Haru walked at the very front, holding a long rope. One end of the rope was tied to an angry youth, Kazuma, who was struggling frantically and spewing constant profanities;The other end of the rope was tied to the anxious swordsman, Dust, who walked with his neck pulled in, looking around in terror with every step.Following behind was a Crusader holding scrap metal with a radiant face, and a Lich shopkeeper with an embarrassed expression who kept apologizing to passersby."Look, isn't that Haru's party?" The Adventurers on the roadside pointed and whispered."How tragic. I heard that Alarm Clock Monster is the mental-attack type. It seems everyone except Haruhas gone mad.""No, I think they weren't quite normal to begin with. Their true natures are just being exposed now."Haru listened to the surrounding discussions with zero inner turmoil, even considering stopping by a roadside stall to buy a skewer of grilled chicken.After collecting the bounty, Kazuma had already started trying to gnaw on the guild's solid wood tables with his teeth, while Dust tried to crawl under Miss Miss Luna's skirt (claiming it was the only sanctuary). Haru had no choice but to drag them all the way to Wiz's Magic Item Shop like two heavy bags of trash."Oh my, oh my, isn't this that very interesting junior? And my two ingredients exuding a top-tier delicious scent."Inside the shop, a man wearing a black and white mask and an exquisite tuxedo was sitting elegantly behind the counter.Vanir's red eyes flickered with an unsettling light behind his mask. He took a deep breath of the negative energy permeating the air and let out an extremely joyful laugh."Such pure anger! Such thick anxiety! Satou Kazuma's resentment that wants to destroy the world, and this little punk's bottomless despair—they are simply the best appetizers I have ever eaten in my life! Haru, I truly must thank you for cultivating them to be so delectable.""Since you think they're delicious, hurry up and change these two useless bums back to normal."Haru threw the rope on the ground and said expressionlessly,"Their current state has seriously affected the efficiency of my daily quests."
Chapter 277: Let Them Feel What True Salvation Is"That won't do."Vanir wagged his finger, his tone full of malicious playfulness."This high-purity emotion needs to be savored slowly. Besides, this is the price of their greed. As a Duke of Hell, I love watching humans struggle in the pits they've dug for themselves. Unless you can provide something more pleasing to me, let them continue being so delicious."Haru looked at Vanir's stubborn, profiteering face, then at Kazuma, who was practicing his Scum Fistagainst the air, and sneered in his heart.Want to negotiate with a devil?No, the best way to deal with a devil is to introduce an even more unreasonable variable.He turned his head and looked at Aqua, who was squatting at the shop entrance trying to make Wiz's ornamental plants disappear."Aqua, come here for a moment."Haru's voice suddenly became unusually gentle, carrying a magnetic quality like that of a kidnapper."Didn't you say at the guild just now that you wanted to show off your majesty as a Goddess?"Aqua stopped what she was doing and turned her head suspiciously."Of course! Why, have you finally realized my greatness?""Naturally. But look, that evil devil Vanir is openly declaring right in front of you that he wants to seize the souls of these two poor men as rations."Haru pointed at Vanir, his tone full of provocation."He was just muttering to himself: 'What Goddess of Water? Before my delicious emotions, she's just a clown who can only do magic tricks. As long as these emotions are here, the Goddess's Purification Magic is as powerless as bathwater.' Aqua, can you really endure such a provocation to your divine office?""Hah?!"A cross-shaped vein instantly popped on Aqua's forehead. She stood up abruptly, her long blue hair flowing without any wind, and shouted at Vanir:"You bastard devil! How dare you say my Purification is bathwater?! Haru, get out of the way! I'm going to let this masked pervert know what true holy power is! I'm going to purify these negative emotions along with this evil-filled shop!"Haru quietly backed away a few steps, pulling the still-dazed Wiz behind the counter with him.Inside the Magic Item Shop, blinding holy light and eerie black magic power clashed violently, erupting with a sizzling sound like electric welding.Vanir held his mask with one hand and let out an extremely delighted laugh:"Hahaha! As expected of a low-intelligence idiot Goddess, this pure killing intent is wonderful! However, since I've finished my lunch, I don't want to play demolition games with you here. Wiz, I'll leave the remaining mess to you; I'm going to Hell to relax!"As soon as he finished speaking, Vanir's figure vanished without a trace under the holy light, like melting ink, leaving only a string of mocking laughter echoing in the shop."Bastard devil! Don't run! We haven't settled this yet!"Aqua swung her fists at the air in frustration, then turned around and walked toward the twitching Kazuma and Dust on the floor with a holy (in her own mind) expression."Fine, since the devil has fled, let you witness this Goddess's true mercy! Sacred High-Tier Purification!"A Purification light bright enough to blind a dog's eyes accurately enveloped the two of them.Haru thought it should finally be over, but when the light dissipated, Kazuma still maintained that scumface, trying to scratch the words 'Vanir Must Die' into the wooden floor with his fingernails.Meanwhile, Dust cried even harder in the light, hugging Haru's leg and shouting:"Haru! That light just now must have been a laser weapon sent by my creditors! I'm going to die! After I die, please burn my IOUs for me so I can continue paying them back down there!""It didn't work?"Haru's eyelid twitched as he looked at the embarrassed Aqua."Eh? Th-this isn't scientific!"Aqua scratched her head, her eyes darting around."Could it be because this isn't a curse? That alarm clock just infinitely magnified the scummy parts deep in their hearts... Purification Magic can only purify external evil; it can't purify the trash in their nature..."Haru looked at his teammates—one a violent demolitionist, the other a paranoid victim—and had a headache so bad he wanted to pack them up and sell them to a slave merchant.If he let these two run wild in Axel, he might be arrested by the city guard tomorrow for condoning teammates destroying public property and instigating others to harass women.Just as Haru was considering whether to solve the problem with physical means (like knocking them out), Aqua suddenly pressed her hands together, a cultist-like glow appearing on her face that only showed up when she was pitching the Axis Order."Haru, don't worry! This Goddess still has a final trump card!"Aqua patted her chest with confidence, making the ribbon on her chest sway wildly."Since their negative emotions come from despair and anger toward reality, wouldn't it be enough to fill them with greater love and faith? If I can move them and let them feel the warm (and lawless) teachings of the Axis Order, and have them join the Axis Order, that little bit of anger and anxiety will be overwritten by the fanaticism of being willing to die for the order!"Haru fell silent.He looked at Aqua's eyes, which were flashing with a dangerous light, and then at the two blurred-conscious losers on the floor.He quickly made a comparison in his mind:On one side was Kazuma, who wanted to destroy the world out of anger, and Dust, who wanted to turn into dirt out of anxiety.On the other side were cultist teammates who, after joining the Axis Order, might forcibly sell soap to passersby on the street or even protest naked in front of the Lords Mansion..."Aqua."Haru spoke with a complicated expression."Are you serious? Which do you think is a greater threat to Axel's public security: their current state, or them becoming Axis Cultists?""What rude things are you saying! The Axis Order is a group full of love and peace! Once they join, Kazuma won't be angry anymore, because he can vent his anger on Eris cultists! Dust won't be anxious either, because Axis Cultists never pay back their debts!"Haru: "..."(This girl really is the greatest source of all evil in this world!)Haru leaned against a rickety shelf in Wiz's shop, rubbing his aching temples with his right hand, and finally let out a sigh that signaled his compromise with reality.He looked at his two teammates on the verge of a mental breakdown, who could become public nuisances in Axel at any moment, and then at the idiot Goddess next to him, who was wearing a disgusting smile because her scheme had succeeded."In that case... Aqua, go ahead and brainwash them first."Haru said in a tone as if he were giving final instructions."Remember to emphasize the part about not paying back debts; I see Dust is about to break. As for Kazuma, tell him that after joining the order, he can rightfully criticize anyone he's unhappy with using the doctrines.""Leave it to me! Haru, you've finally made the most correct decision of your life! I'll let them feel what true salvation (physical) is right now!"
Chapter 278: The Doom of AxelAqua let out a wild laugh like a final boss. She suddenly whipped out two Membership application forms smelling of cheap soap from her layered skirts and lunged in front of Dust with a speed that was heart-wrenchingly well-practiced."Come, lost lamb! Are you still trembling because your creditors will knock on your door tomorrow? Are you still losing sleep because the interest has doubled? Just join the Axis Order, and you will have the holy right to default on your debts! The first rule of our doctrine: If the other party is an Eris cultist, it's only natural not to pay them back! If the other party is an ordinary person, as long as you run fast enough, that is divine guidance! Come, sign your name here, and you will be a free man!""Freedom... not paying back debts... divine guidance..."Dust's bloodshot eyes, tormented by anxiety, instantly flashed with an eerie light. He took the pen with trembling hands and shouted almost with a sob:"I'll sign! I'll sign! As long as I don't have to pay back the money, forget about believing in Aqua—I'd even be willing to worship a head of cabbage!"Next, Aqua turned to look at Kazuma, who was still punching the air frantically, and her tone became full of temptation:"Kazuma, are you still angry at this unfair world? Join us! Axis Cultists can live however they want. Whether it's scum-like behavior or loser-like speeches, as long as you say it's for the doctrine afterward, no one can do anything to you! Moreover, you can legally flip the skirts of those Eris cultists, claiming you're checking if they're hiding evil flyers!""Legal scumminess...? Justified trash-talking...?"Kazuma stopped punching, and the anger on his face gradually transformed into a hair-raising, fanatical expression unique to Axis Cultists."It sounds like... this cult was practically tailor-made for trash like me! Aqua, give me one! I want the world to feel the wrath of the Axis Order!"Watching these two guys rapidly sign the application forms, Haru silently backed away toward the shop entrance, even considering locking the door from the outside."Um... Mr. Lin Jin."Wiz stood to the side, trembling as she tugged at Haru's sleeve, pointing tearfully at the trio who had already started performing a bizarre initiation dance in the shop."They seem to have... completely broken. And Lady Aqua just sprinkled my backlogged stock of potions on them as Holy Water; those are failed products that make people hyperactive for three days and nights..."Haru took a deep breath as he watched the three guys inside, arms around each other's shoulders, loudly reciting ridiculous doctrines like, "Thou shalt not fear debt, for the Goddess shall forgive (the fleeing) you.""Wiz, run.", Haru said in a heavy tone."The doom of Axel... might really be coming."Haru had originally thought that letting these two temporarily join the Axis Order was just a stopgap measure to fight fire with fire.After all, with Kazuma's realistic and acerbic personality, how could he really be brainwashed by that Intellectual Disabled Goddess?And Dust, that old fox, surely just wanted to use it as a convenient excuse to dodge his debts with a clear conscience.However, Haru underestimated Aqua's god-tier talent for leading her teammates astray, as well as the fatal compatibility of the Axis doctrine with the souls of losers.In the days after returning to the mansion, Harucould often hear bursts of eerie chanting coming from the living room.He pushed open the door to see a scene like this:Aqua sat cross-legged in the center of the sofa, holding a bottle of expensive Bubbly Wine, performing a baptism on Kazuma and Dust who were kneeling before her."You must remember, Axis Cultists can do anything as long as they get serious! We are the kind of outstanding talents who are fine even if we don't do it, who fail even if we do, and even if we fail, it's not our fault!"Aqua swung the wine bottle with vigor while looking at the two with a face of piety. If she had a different face, she would look exactly like an enlightened high monk."Exactly! Failure is because the world is targeting me! Not doing it is because I haven't gotten serious yet, the opportunity just hasn't come!"Kazuma looked devout, a light of realization—the kind that comes from completely giving up on being a decent human being—shining in his eyes."Respected Goddess! I understand! Creditors knocking on the door is a trial for me; staying behind closed doors is my mercy toward them!"Dust was even more moved to tears, clutching an (extremely abstract) holy icon hand-drawn by Aqua.By the time Haru realized the gravity of the situation, these two had already completed their magnificent transformation from victims to fanatical believers.The next morning, Haru was awakened by a burst of synchronized slogans.He walked to the balcony and looked down, only to see Kazuma and Dust wearing crude tunics printed with the word 'Axis' in large letters, energetically distributing soap in the mansion's courtyard."Hey, Haru! You're up just in time!"Kazuma looked up, a sunny yet scum-like smile on his face that made Haru's spine tingle."Come down and join our morning prayer! High Priestess Aqua said that today we're going to the city gates to block those Eris cultists and stuff this Holy Water soap—which cleanses the soul (and happens to cause allergies)—into their mouths! All heretics must die!""That's right! Big Brother Haru!"Dust joined in the cheering. His anxiety had completely vanished, replaced by a fearless thick-skinned attitude."I just burned all my debt notes and sent a letter back to the creditor, telling him that money is but a worldly possession, and only Lady Aqua's bathwater is eternal! I feel light as a feather now—is this the power of faith!"Haru looked at his two teammates who were now beyond saving, and at Aqua, who was standing nearby with her hands on her hips, looking smugly for a reward, and felt like his world was collapsing."Aqua..."Haru's voice trembled slightly."I told you to soothe their emotions, not turn them into social terrorists.""What are you saying, Haru!"Aqua pouted dissatisfiedly."Look how happy they are! Kazuma isn't angry anymore, and Dust isn't scared. Isn't this a perfect treatment? As a reward, tomorrow's mansion cleaning is all yours. We're going on a Holy Water parade in the streets!"Haru watched as Kazuma began smearing soapy water on his short sword, preparing for what he called 'doctrinal sparring.' He knew that if he didn't take action soon, the Axel Adventurers Guild might be torn down by these three tomorrow.
Chapter 279: The Axis DogmaHaru had merely spent a little time in the study researching how to use traps to knock people unconscious without endangering their lives, and happened to take a nap that lasted less than ten minutes.However, in this world full of surprises, ten minutes was enough for an Intellectual Disabled Goddessand two brain-dead followers to complete a perfect prison break.When Haru walked into the living room, he wasn't greeted by Kazuma's usual snark or Dust's wailing, but by a deathly silence.Several large boxes of Axis Order Holy Water Soap that had been piled in the corner were gone, leaving only a note on the table written in crooked handwriting:"To the unawakened Haru: This Goddess is taking two devout Paladins to purify this town full of evil (referring to Eris cultists)! Stay home and reflect on why you haven't joined the order yet! Don't wait for us for lunch; we're going to have one of those free feasts you get just for joining! —Aqua (and two glorious followers).""Bastards..."Haru suddenly crushed the note in his hand, the veins on his forehead throbbing."Those two idiots actually followed that moron out to make a scene in the streets!"Haru knew well that the 'Purification' Aqua spoke of usually meant forcibly stuffing soap into the hands of passersby, and the 'free feast for joining' was likely dining and dashing at some unlucky restaurant while claiming it was a divine blessing.Adding in the currently fanatical Kazuma and the debt-dodging champion Dust, this wasn't proselytizing anymore—this was an organized gang of thugs conducting an armed parade!He immediately rushed out of the mansion. Before even reaching the central square, he heard a loud chorus from afar with a certain brainwashing melody:"Lady Aqua is as beautiful as a painting! The Axis Order is top-notch! Don't hesitate, don't waver! Just sign this paper, and your creditors can all go to hell!"In the center of the square, Aqua was standing by the fountain, waving her staff like a commander.Kazuma and Dust had somehow obtained a massive blue flag and were waving it back and forth while shouting at passing Adventurers and citizens."Hey! You there with the greatsword! I see a dark shadow over your brow; you must have never washed with Axis Order Holy Water Soap!"Kazuma lunged in front of a strong-looking warrior, flashing an incredibly punchable smile."Here, sign this application, and I won't tell the city guard about how you were just staring at that little girl's skirt by the roadside!""And you! The one in the cloak!"Dust grabbed a passerby's sleeve on the other side."Don't run! I'm doing this for your own good! Do you know how great it feels to owe money and not pay it back? Join us, and you can open the door to a whole new world!"The surrounding citizens showed looks of horror and disgust as they scattered, while the Axel city guards seemed to be arriving with a large contingent of men.Haru even saw several priests in Eris Sect attire clenching their fists in anger."This isn't proselytizing anymore; this is starting a riot in Axel."Haru leaned against a wall, watching the three of them having the time of their lives. He felt his career and reputation turning into bubbles, right along with the piece of soap Kazuma was forcibly stuffing into a passerby's mouth.Haru had originally thought the arrival of the city guards would be the final line of defense to save Axel's reputation, but he had clearly underestimated the devastating blow that the mental toxin known as Axis Dogma could deal to a normal person's logic.The lead city guard, his face dark, walked to the fountain while gripping the hilt of his sword, preparing to loudly reprimand these disturbers of public order.However, before he could even open his mouth, the unholy trinity of Aqua, Kazuma, and Dustsurrounded him in perfect unison."Wait! Mr. city guard!"Kazuma adjusted his non-existent glasses, a fanatical smile of superiority on his face that made one want to punch him."According to Article 14 of the Axel City Management Regulations, citizens have the freedom to preach their faith as long as it doesn't impede traffic. Not only have we not impeded traffic, but we've also improved the city's hygiene by distributing soap. By stopping us now, are you trying to openly oppose the hygiene welfare of the citizens?""Th-that's right!"Dust puffed out his chest and roared with total confidence."And the dogma says, 'Thou shalt not fear crime, for it is not a crime as long as thou art not caught'! Since you haven't caught any evidence of us breaking the law yet, what right do you have to interfere with our spiritual salvation? Or are you actually an undercover agent sent by the Eris Sect, trying to use public authority to suppress us pure Followers of Water?!"The city guard's mouth twitched violently: "What nonsense are you talking about! I'm just telling you not to force things into people's mouths...""That is the Eucharist! It is a ritual to wash away sin!"Aqua stood with hands on her hips, shouting with an air of sacred inviolability."Mr. city guard, thou hast worked hard as well. Facing so many criminals every day, thou must surely miss home, right? Thou must surely miss the life of receiving a salary without having to work, right? Join the Axis Order! Here, thou canst rightfully push thy work onto subordinates and claim it is a trial from the gods! Come, just sign here, and thy life shall be set free!"The city guard looked at the application form held before his eyes, then at the two fanatical followers whose gazes were more terrifying than monsters. His weathered reason completely collapsed at that moment.He took a deep breath, waved his hand as if he had aged ten years, and said to his subordinates:"Forget it... retreat. As long as they don't kill or burn anything, just let them be. Trying to reason with Axis Cultists will make my stomach ulcer flare up."The sight of the city guards fleeing in disarray completely ignited the trio's arrogance."Victory! We have triumphed over the oppression of public authority!" Aqua raised her staff and let out a joyful cry."See! This is the power of faith!"Kazuma was excited to the extreme. He turned around and shouted at Chris, who was cowering in a corner."Hey! You, the silver-haired little thief! Stop hiding! I've already seen the evil aura emanating from you that needs to be scrubbed hard with Holy WaterSoap! Dust, go! Surround her! If we don't get her to sign this application today, we'll be failing Lady Aqua's bathwater!"Haru stood in the shadows nearby, watching Dustand Kazuma flank the terrified Chris. He knew that at this moment, Chris was probably on the verge of calling down divine punishment directly in the square to blast these three into charcoal.