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Chapter 27: Line Becomes a Stone Statue
Luffy and I had been sent flying to Amazon Lily, the "Island of Women"—or as I liked to call it, the Super-Erotic Island full of women.
While Luffy, who had collapsed from eating toxic mushrooms, rested inside a cage, I took the liberty of providing the girls on this island with some "wholesome sex education guidance."
And now that class was over.
"Puff-puff~"
"Puff-puff~"
"Puff~"
"Puff-puff"
I was currently in a state of nirvana I liked to call the "Second Puff-Puff Shock," being relentlessly smothered and motorboated by an endless supply of breasts.
"Puff-puff, puff-puff"
"Let me do puff-puff next!"
"No, me next!"
"Ehh? It's my turn, isn't it?"
"The Puff-Puff Arc~."
Because I had initially lied and taught them that "puff-puff" was a traditional Tontatta greeting, these girls were now motorboating me without a shred of hesitation.
On this island, the existence known as "Man" was practically a living natural monument. Consequently, all the girls who wanted to touch a man came flocking to puff-puff me.
Simply put, this was paradise.
"Hehehe. Hehehe."
"Teacher Line really loves breasts, doesn't he? I wonder what's so good about these things?"
"Listen well! The creature known as 'Man' basically loves boobs! When you girls eventually get a boyfriend, you should definitely do this to him. He'll be absolutely delighted, guaranteed."
"Is that so? Though, even if you say that, as long as we live on this island, we're never going to meet any men."
The girls looked down sadly, even as they continued to smash their chests into my face. Did they hate having no romantic prospects that much?
It seemed my lessons had made them completely interested in men.
Well. I did speak incredibly passionately about how wonderful romance is. The hesitation of first love, the heartache of unrequited affection, the despair of heartbreak, the desire to be with the one you love.
I had dramatically narrated these emotions by tracing the storylines of the ecchi manga I used to binge in my past life. As a result, every girl here had turned into a love-struck middle schooler yearning for romance.
"Well, tell you what. If you really want to fall in love with a guy, you should come to my hometown, Dressrosa."
"Dressrosa?"
"Yup. Dressrosa is full of passionate people, so I think you'll be able to enjoy some seriously hot romance there!"
Just as I was enjoying casual conversation while being motorboated. it happened.
GONG! GONG! GONG!
"Hm? What's that sound?"
"!! That bell. It's the signal that Snake Princess has returned!!"
"Eh!?"
Snake Princess. You mean Boa Hancock is back from her expedition already?
That was faster than I expected. I thought I'd be able to enjoy this boob paradise for at least a few more days.
"Teacher Line! If Snake Princess finds you, we won't be able to protect you anymore!"
"So before she finds you, it's 'The Get Out of the Country Arc'!"
"Hurry! Teacher Line!"
The agreement was that Luffy and I could stay until the Snake Princess returned.
It was regrettable, but it couldn't be helped.
Some of the girls complained, saying things like, "Ehh? Teacher Line is going home already?" or "You just got here!" and "I wanted to take more of Teacher Line's classes!" But I couldn't overstay my welcome.
"Hehehe, it was a short time, but thanks for the boo—I mean, thanks for letting us stay. Luffy should have rested enough by now. I'll carry him and head out."
I had gotten way too comfortable, but truthfully, I didn't have time for this. Rayleigh, Shakky, and Esune might be worried sick looking for me after I vanished. Plus, I'd left my newly bought ship, the Listruck, completely unattended.
I needed to get back to Sabaody fast, grab the Listruck, and GO to Dressrosa.
Just as I hauled my heavy ass up—
"Disaster, everyone!!"
"What's wrong?"
"The man! The man with the straw hat locked in the cage! He woke up, smashed through the ceiling, and escaped!!"
"Ehhhhhhh!!??"
Whoaaa!! Luffy! What the hell are you doing escaping!? Are you an idiot!?
Ah, wait. he probably woke up, saw he was in a cage, panicked, and flew out. That sounded about right.
If that was the case, I guess it couldn't be helped.
"Wait, this isn't the time to be making excuses!"
I have to stop Luffy fast!
"Sorry everyone! It looks like my companion is causing trouble! Before this Snake Princess or whatever finds us, I'll go catch Luffy! Acceleration!"
"Wah!? H-He disappeared?"
Dash! Dash! Dash!
I sensed Luffy's presence with my Observation Haki and sprinted toward him at full speed.
Still, for someone who was bedridden from eating a "Might-Die Mushroom," he woke up fast. I thought it would take at least two days. What incredible recovery speed.
As I ran toward Luffy's signal.
"The man escaped!!"
"Take aim! Fire!!"
"Don't let him get away!!"
"Whoops!! That was close!!"
Luffy was sprinting across the rooftops of the village while dodging a barrage of Haki-infused arrows fired by the Kuja warriors.
Ah, ahhh.
We promised not to do anything detrimental to this country, but Luffy was already wrecking the place.
I spun my tail into a propeller—Tail Copter—and flew up, blocking Luffy's path.
"Heey, Luffy! Stop! You don't need to panic, it's alrigh—"
"Ah! Line! Good, you're safe! We're escaping right now!"
"Heh?"
Sproing! Luffy stretched his arm out and grabbed my body in a vice grip. Then, with his other hand, he grabbed a rooftop far away and stretched that arm back—Streeetch.
Huh? Wait, you, what are you planning.
"Gum-Gum. ROCKET!!"
"Waaaaaaaahhh!!?"
Still clutching me, Luffy launched himself into the air with explosive force. Is your body some kind of rubber band toy!?
We went flying with a high-pitched swoosh sound, hurtling straight toward the roof of the largest mansion in the entire country—
CRASH!!
—and smashed right through the roof.
"Whoa!! That was flimsy!!"
"Luffyyyyy!? You, wait!! Look what you did to someone's roof!!"
Having punched through the ceiling, Luffy and I plummeted straight into the interior of the mansion.
Ah, jeez! What has this guy done!
And what awaited us at the bottom of our fall was.
SPLASH!!
"Bwah!? Hot! It's hot water! I'm dying!! I'm drowding!!"
"Blub-blub! C-Calm down, Luffy. You can stand up. I can't, though!"
"Eh? Oh, is this. a bathhouse?"
"Haa, haa. You really are noisy! Were you seriously paralyzed by poison just a few minutes ago!?"
We had fallen into an incredibly luxurious and spacious bath.
It screamed "Rich Person's Mansion." How much were the repair costs for smashing the roof going to be?
I only had 30,000 Berries on me. Would that be enough?
"!!?? A man!?"
"Eh?"
Right in front of us, while I was calculating repair bills, was a person in the middle of a bath.
Ah, we really messed up now. The thought crossed my mind for only a split second.
"Whooooooooooooo!!?!!? ♡♡♡♡"
Because the moment I saw the figure standing before me, my heart was instantly shot through—Thump!
(W-W-W!? What!? What is this super beauty!!? Erotic!!!)
Lustrous black hair, dignified eyes, pure white skin without a single blemish, a wide forehead, and a body with absolutely perfect proportions.
Overwhelming. Truly overwhelming! She was, without a doubt, a peerless beauty!!
And she was stark naked!! Her breasts and her [Censored] bits were all completely visible!! Lucky Lecher!! Buck naked!!
"You saw it!!!"
The older sister snapped her back toward us, hiding it, and glared over her shoulder.
Wait, that's the part you're hiding!? You're okay with your boobs being fully visible!?
"Hehehe~♡♡ I-I'm sorry! I saw it!! I totally saw it!! Actually, I'm still looking! I can't take my eyes off you! Fu, fue♡ Hehehehehe~♡♡♡"
My eyes had surely turned into heart shapes by now.
The woman in front of me was, how do I put it. beautiful in a way that spoke directly to my instincts. My head was spinning.
"Ngh!? U, uuu!!"
I had just changed my underwear a little while ago. but I misfired again. Am I too quick? I hunched over, unable to move properly.
Luffy. just had a question mark floating above his head.
"Sister!!"
"Sister! What happened!?"
Two other giant girls—one with green hair and one with orange hair—rushed in. However, my gaze remained glued to the black-haired beauty's naked body.
This person is truly beautiful.
That was the tenth eruption. It won't stop.
"They saw my back."
"!!?"
"Then they must die."
"Eh!? Why!? Just for seeing your back!"
"The 'thing' you saw on my back is something we'd sooner die than reveal!!"
Luffy and the sisters were arguing about backs or something. but honestly, I didn't care about backs.
My brain's internal filter was running at full capacity, trying to burn the image of those breasts in front of me into permanent memory. Save! Save! Save!
The black-haired beauty turned toward us, extended her arms, and formed a heart shape with her fingers.
"Your impure hearts, captivated by my beauty, will harden your bodies."
Yes! My impure heart captivated by you! It's making my body. mostly one specific part. very hard! It doesn't feel like it's going down! Misfire! 20th shot! Still breaking records!
"Mero Mero Mellow!!"
"Ahhhhhhh────♡♡♡♡"
Snap!!
And thus, I.
Due to the power of the Pirate Empress Boa Hancock's Love-Love Fruit.
Was turned into a stone statue in the most idiotic pose in the world—frozen mid-eruption.
—BONUS—
Since Line sadly got turned to stone, we have a bit of extra space.
So, here are the first impressions of the Straw Hat Pirates from Line, a guy who knows absolutely nothing about One Piece (a.k.a. a "One Piece Know-Nothing").
Note: This is strictly how Line sees the Straw Hat crew.
Line's Take on Monkey D. Luffy:
A rude guy who grabbed me the moment we met and treated me like a stuffed animal. I knew from the newspaper he was a crazy pirate, but he was crazy in a totally different vector than I imagined. I actually regret becoming friends with him a little bit.
Line's Take on Roronoa Zoro:
He eats swords while holding swords in both hands. A picky eater who loves katanas. He shouted something like "Demon Spirit Nine Sword Style!!" and multiplied his face and arms, so he's definitely a Devil Fruit user. Probably the Zoro-Zoro Fruit, a Splitting Human. Since he has a bounty over 100 million despite not being the captain, I assume he's extremely strong.
Line's Take on Nami:
A big sister with an amazing hourglass figure. I predict she's a tsundere hiding a super perverted nature. She used a staff to call down lightning, so she's probably a Magical Girl. As someone whose cause of death in my previous life was lightning, she brings up some trauma, so she's a little scary.
Line's Take on Usopp:
A man with an absurdly long nose. Because of him, a Celestial Dragon exploded. He is likely an android, not a human. A sad robot built with a function where his nose grows a little every time he tells a lie. He is on a journey to find the scientist who created him (Pinocchio style).
Line's Take on Sanji:
User of the Spin-Spin Fruit. As a side effect of his ability, his eyebrows became swirly. I saw him spinning around yelling "Nami-swaaan♡ Robin-chwaaan♡," so there's no mistake. He spins at the drop of a hat. Very restless.
Line's Take on Tony Tony Chopper:
A cute tanuki wearing a hat with deer antlers. He suddenly turns into a macho gorilla, so he's probably a user of the Muscular Fruit. Or maybe the Gori-Gori Fruit. When I tried to pet him, Esune transformed into a rabbit and cut in line, so I had to pet Esune instead.
Line's Take on Nico Robin:
A black-haired, hourglass-figured older sister. She's more my type than Nami. Probably has no powers. She's the brains of the crew, and actually the scientist who built Usopp. She has no intention of telling Usopp the truth for now. Her catchphrase is "Everything is in the palm of my hand." Probably.
Line's Take on Franky:
Pervert. Undeniably a pervert. A pervert who suddenly screams "SUUUPERR!!" Even if he wasn't a pervert, he'd be a gentleman named Pervert. No, wait, he's definitely just a pervert.
Line's Take on Brook:
A dirty-minded bone who wants to see girls' panties despite being a skeleton. User of the Bone-Bone Fruit. He's got good vibes and I don't hate his personality, but it pisses me off how tall he is. By the way, does this guy have a d*ck?
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