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Chapter 32: A Leisurely, Strange Journey Through Impel Down
Straddling Densuke, the Surveillance Transponder Snail, I set off for Level 2. As we moved, I tinkered with the external machinery attached to his shell.
"Hmm-hmm~♪"
Click, clack. "Alright, that got it."
Clatter...
Basically, humans attach various parts to Transponder Snails to turn them into telephones or video cameras. If you just remove those parts, they can no longer function as security cameras.
"Hehehe. Luffy and the others are running wild and causing a massive ruckus on this floor right now. No one's gonna think it's weird if a Transponder Snail or two suddenly goes offline."
Bzzzt...
Stripped of his parts and returned to a wild state, Densuke turned to look at me with a deadpan expression, seeming neither happy nor displeased.
"Yep, yep. Now, even if you see my face, my intel won't be transmitted to the guards."
Bzzzzzt...
"So, what do you think, Densuke? What are your thoughts upon seeing my face? I'm quite the handsome guy, aren't I!"
Sigh...
This guy just sighed at me...!
I guess mollusks just can't comprehend human attractiveness.
...And so, riding on Densuke's back, a few dozen minutes passed...
"..."
...
We had advanced maybe... a few hundred meters from our starting point?
Hmm. The idea of traveling on the back of a Transponder Snail was incredibly safe and a genuinely great plan, but... probably because he was a snail, his movement speed was absurdly slow.
"...Hey, Densuke~. Can't you go a little faster?"
Bzzzt! Bzzt! Bzzzt!
"?? Are you saying, 'Don't complain since I'm giving you a ride'?"
Bzzt!
"I guess it can't be helped..."
Well, it was still better than rushing and getting spotted by the guards. Luffy and the others seemed to be charging ahead at full speed, but I was going to proceed slowly and steadily.
Even in The Tortoise and the Hare, the tortoise reached the finish line first. Slow and steady wins the race.
"...Still, I've got way too much free time right now. Since I'm bored, keep me company and let's chat, Densuke."
Bzzt?
"Why are you working as a lookout in Impel Down, anyway? Do you even get paid?"
Bzzt, bzzt-bzzt, bzzzzt~, bzzt.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh."
Bzz-bzz-bzzt, bzzt-bzzt.
"I see... Hahaha, I have absolutely no idea what you're saying!"
BZZZZZZT!!
"Hey, hey, don't get mad."
Unsurprisingly, I couldn't understand Transponder Snail language. Left with no other choice, I reached out from behind and squished Densuke's cheeks to soothe him.
I had expected him to feel all slimy since he was a snail, but surprisingly, he was incredibly soft and squishy. He felt exactly like a steamed bun with barely any filling inside.
—————
"...Is this the stairway down to Level 2?"
Nnn.
After riding Densuke for about thirty minutes, we had finally arrived at the staircase leading down.
Our current floor, Level 1, was Crimson Hell. According to Buggy, there was an area on this floor filled with sharp, bladed grass and trees where the prisoners experienced hellish agony... but there was no need to go out of our way to pass through such a dangerous place.
By using the staff stairway, we could safely and easily descend to Level 2.
"Alright, let's keep going! Densuke!"
Bzzzzz~
Because we were both small, we could easily slip through the gaps in the iron bars. Passing through the grating and pushing the door open, we seamlessly slithered our way down the walls of the staircase.
Along the way, several guards sprinted right past us, but exactly as expected, not a single one paid us any mind.
Yeah. Making Densuke my ally was definitely the right call. Just by being with him, everyone completely ignored my existence. He was basically the equivalent of the Stone Hat from Doraemon.
Just like that, without a single incident, we scaled down the stairway walls and arrived in front of the door leading to Level 2.
"Beyond this door is Level 2..."
According to Buggy, it was a dangerous place where monstrous beasts roamed... However, we didn't even need to enter this floor in the first place.
Why? Because the stairway connecting Level 1 to Level 2 went straight down to Level 3 as well.
"Hehehe, lucky! Let's just keep going straight to Level 3!"
Nnn.
Densuke gave a firm nod and began slithering downward once more. We were completely ignoring Level 2, and it was perfectly fine. Man, this was a breeze.
...Come to think of it, how exactly was Luffy making his way down? I highly doubt it, but surely he isn't just charging blindly straight through the middle of Crimson Hell and Wild Beast Hell, right? Even he wouldn't do something that reckless...
"Gyaaaah!! We're falliiiiing!!"
"That damn Sphinx! It smashed right through the floor!!"
"Level 3 is right below us-gane~~!!"
...I just heard some incredibly disturbing screams coming from the other side of the Level 2 door...
Well, I'll just pray he manages to get through it somehow. If he gets caught, I can just collect him later. From what I sensed with my Observation Haki, neither the Blugori nor the guards seemed all that tough, so he should be fine.
"He is a man with a 300 million Berry bounty, after all. He won't get captured that easily. Who knows, Luffy might even manage to slip in and rescue Ace all by himself."
Bzzzzt, bzzzzt.
"Yep. We'll just act as the insurance policy in case Luffy screws up."
Nnn~
When I gently patted the area between his eyestalks—probably... his head?—Densuke shivered as if it tickled.
After taking our sweet time slithering down, we finally arrived at Level 3: Starvation Hell.
This floor... how should I put it... was a level that truly made you doubt whether you were still inside a building. Put simply, the entire floor was a "desert."
Covered entirely in sand, the prisoners locked inside the cages were all bone-dry and practically shriveled up. They looked like they were one step away from becoming mummies.
"Creepy... Plus, it's so damn hot on this floor... How do they even regulate the temperature in here...?"
Bzzzt.
"Are you okay in this heat, Densuke?"
Nnn~
"You're pretty tough..."
Looking around, there were a few other Transponder Snails stationed on this floor besides Densuke. It seemed that as a species, Transponder Snails possessed a fair amount of resistance to heat.
"If you're fine, then it's all good. Alright, Densuke... Do you know where the stairway to Level 4 is?"
Nnn.
The stairs connecting Levels 1, 2, and 3 had all been linked, but it seemed the stairway leading to Level 4 was located somewhere else entirely. I had absolutely no idea where it was, but Densuke, having been raised in Impel Down, seemingly knew the layout.
"Alright, take me there just like before!"
Nnn~~!
Densuke seamlessly resumed his slithering. Seriously, this guy was incredibly competent. He was even resistant to the heat.
"Phew... Still, it's seriously hot..."
For the record, I'm really bad with the heat. If there was a beautiful woman glistening with sweat in a swimsuit nearby, I could easily endure it, but sadly, there was no such thing to be found here...
Left with no choice, I tried spinning my tail to fan myself, but since the air itself was blazing hot, it didn't do much good.
—————
"...S-So hot... I'm thirsty..."
Had it been... about twenty or thirty minutes since then?
Densuke and I were still slithering our way through Level 3.
I couldn't really complain since his pace was inherently slow, but... staying on this floor for an extended period of time was genuinely exhausting. Man, this place is huge...
"Ugh... I can't take it... I'm gonna get dehydrated at this rate... Let's take a break, Densuke."
Bzzzt?
In the shadows of a nearby cell...
Finding a perfect spot free from the prying eyes of other Surveillance Transponder Snails, I laid down my picnic sheet (a normal handkerchief) and sat down.
"Phew... Heave-ho. Time for a break~."
Bzzzt~
I took off my hat and popped open the hidden compartment inside.
"Hehehe, I brought these along just for a situation like this~."
As I've mentioned before, the hat I wear doubles as an accessory pouch. I use it to store my wallet, a change of clothes, and other things. And for this Impel Down infiltration mission, I had made sure to bring along some light snacks and a canteen. Marguerite had packed them for me when I left Amazon Lily.
"Yep, yep. It's starting to shrivel up a little, but it's still edible."
Taking an apple out of my hat, I cracked it perfectly in half.
"Here, Densuke. Your share."
...Bzzt?
"Why do you look so shocked? It's half-and-half. You're gonna eat it, right?"
Bz-Bzzzt~~♪
Densuke happily began eating the apple. Yep, yep. Apples are delicious, aren't they. I chomped down on my half as well and heavily chugged the water from my canteen.
"...Puhah! It's just normal water, but it tastes incredibly good! I was so thirsty~. You want some too, Densuke?"
Bzzzzt♪
Watching Densuke gulp down the water to quench his thirst, I couldn't help but think he looked just a little bit cute.
It was right when I was enjoying this fancy little break time with Densuke.
"Shaaa-hahahaha!"
A highly amused burst of laughter rang out from a cell right next to us.
"To think there'd actually be some guy leisurely enjoying a picnic right in the middle of Impel Down's Starvation Hell!"
"...Hwuh?"
"I don't know why you're on the outside of the cages, but you've certainly lived up to your reputation! Mr. Invisible Phantom Thief! It's no wonder you're the man I look up to! Shaaa-hahahaha!"
"...?? Ummm... who are you?"
The one speaking to me with that distinct laugh was an individual about two-and-a-half meters tall with blue skin and an incredibly long, jagged nose. A human... no, a Fish-Man.
Despite being trapped in this sweltering heat where he was bound to be miserable, he was inexplicably hyper. He was grinning from ear to ear just looking at me. What is with this guy?
"My name is Arlong. 'Arlong the Saw'! Never thought I'd get to meet you in a place like this, 'Invisible Phantom Thief' Line!"
"Arlong the Saw? Why do you know my name?"
"Shahaha! Of course I know it well! You're my hero, after all!"
"Huh?"
I didn't get it. I genuinely did not get it. When the hell did I become this jagged-nosed guy's All Might?
Hmm... Looking closely at him again, he's got one hell of an intense nose... Usopp and Buggy had weird noses too, but this guy's was on a completely different level. It was serrated, and it was about as long as I was tall. With a nose like that, he'd never be able to kiss a girl. How pitiful...
"...What's that? What's with that look of pity? Hah, true, I'm a pathetic sight right now. Getting beaten by some human brat, chased out of the weakest sea... and then, trying to imitate you and Big Bro, only to fail and get thrown into a place like this!"
Arlong had somehow interpreted my look of pity in a completely bizarre direction. Looking utterly frustrated, he fiercely slammed his head against the ground.
"No, hold on, wait! Don't just randomly get depressed! I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about! You might know who I am, but I don't know a single thing about you, okay?!"
"Huh...? I see... My bad... Then, will you listen to it? ...The story of my pathetic Fish-Man life..."
"Your Fish-Man life..."
...Wait. Are we seriously doing a storytime right now?
Nnn~~
I glanced over to see Densuke leaning in, completely ready to listen.
Left with no choice, I crossed my legs and got comfortable. Seeing me get comfortable, Arlong slowly began to recount the tale of his "Fish-Man life"...
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