"Aah, so you are Shishir? Let me ask you something child, Why are you even in this institute? If you have no plan of studying and those 4 marks you got out of 100 was cheated off from someone else right? The way you have written the solution of problem and the way you have copied it. I have been checking copies for 27 years, Do you think I won't recognize it,"
I didn't said anything,
I felt like I was held by my throat or I was looking down at the very deep cliff and someone is pushing me down,
As teacher said "I am telling you this for your own good, you are getting zero marks in one of the easiest subjects of this department and this is only first year, I can guarantee you that next year is very tough,"
I still didn't said anything,
My mind was filled with anger, rage and fear,
I will show them,
I will show you all,
I will be better student from next semester,
I will get good marks,
I will show them,
I will show my parents the result I have got,
I will be better from next year,
I will leave all the addiction from next year,
"SHISHIR!! Are you even listening?" my teacher said with anger,
"If this goes on, I will have no choice but to call your parents."
No,
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Don't you fucking dare it,
Huff,
Huff,
Sudden heavy breaths,
My legs were shaking like crazy,
My heart was beating so rapidly,
I was getting a panic attack inside myself
I started taking deep breaths,
No,
This can't be,
Please,
Please,
GOD,
Save me,
I will study from now on,
I will study,
My face had lost all colors,
I was breathing like I had ran an 800m race,
It felt, I am better off death then face this humiliation,
I felt like I was getting raped,
My tongue was moving but no sound came,
I said with stuttering voice,
"no," my voice was soft and inaudible,
"What?? Speak loudly child," my teacher said,
"No---"
"I m---ean, I wi---ll stu--dy fr---om no--w on sir,"
"Please don't call my parents,"
"I won't but from now on study hard but what I don't know is what did you did? This all semester? I feel like whatever I have taught you learned nothing, I mean you did not even understand one chapter from tens of chapters I taught you?"
"Even if you have solved 10 past questions papers I gave as assignment, you would have at least pass the exams,"
"Wait the assignment I gave you, did you did it yourself or just copied?"
"I--- di—did ---it my---self s—ir,"
I lied of course,
"You are still lying???????"
"Get lost, I don't want to see you, what do you even lack? You have a single room where you can study alone, you live near college, The college canteen provides 3 meals a day just for very cheap monthly subscription."
"You don't have to do the dishes nor cook food, do you even know what I had to do just to study?"
"I had to share a room with three peoples, I had to cook and do the dishes myself, there was no personal bathroom or toilet, there was one toilet and bathroom in whole floor I lived on, Not only that I had to wash my clothes, myself as there was no washing machine in my time,"
"Shishir, so what I don't get it is, you have all day to study, why are still getting so worse marks?"
"Your other friends participate in different challenges, events and program and different college festivals and as I have learned you have participated in none and so you have no extracurricular pressure, So tell me why are you like this?"
"Why are you lazy Shishir?"
"Why am I lazy??"
I looked at my teacher,
He looked at me with frustration,
Yes, I never realized, this all suffering is because of laziness,
But question is why am I lazy?
Why am I lazy????!!!
Why are people lazy?
What does it even means to be lazy?
How did I became lazy?
My teacher looked at my silent face and said "I looked at your past marksheets, you were quiet a brilliant student, What happened after you came to Ritupur to study?"
Yes, Now I remember I used to be a better student,
Then I looked at my hands,
How did I became like this?
How did I Shishir became like this?
What exactly happened to me?
What did Ritupur did to me?