EVAN SEVILLE
There was a moment of silence.
Amelia stopped running her hand on my hair, making my heart clench in anxious. Hopefully she won't dodged this topic, because everytime I opened this up, she just dodged it like a bullet.
I slowly opened my eyes, lifting my head as I placed my chin on her stomach. I saw the look on her face, that one reaction I didn't want to see. The look of fear— She has a phobia for pregnancy also. She just doesn't like pregnancy, she was also afraid of it.
I softened my gaze, sitting up and pulling her into my arms with her arms, "come here, I'm sorry for bringing it up.." I muttered against her head, pressing a warm kiss on top. She just hummed.
After I brought that topic, Amelia somehow became awfully quiet for a few weeks. It made me overthink, anxious, and scared. But I controlled my emotions, I knew she needed space. I knew she didn't want that topic to be brought up again, yet I did. It was my mistake.
She doesn't ignore me.
We made out.
We kissed.
We had sex.
Yet, she was still quiet— She usually sparked a conversation with me always— she just doesn't seem to be like the talkative wife I used to know before. I gave her space as a respect, so she could also cool down if she was ever mad at me.
I was on my way home, driving. My mind overflowing with thoughts about her— God, I miss her.. While I was driving with myself wandering off, not realizing that there was another car coming on right side, until it beeped loudly, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I realized that I ran a red light. One of the traffic enforces knocked on my car window, and I really knew I was in trouble. I parked my car where they guided me and got out of the car, had a talk with them, they let me off slide since I was clean and had no criminal records or so.
When that was sorted out, I drove home, carefully this time. I reached our home, seeing all the lights off, "she's probably asleep by now.." I muttered, looking st my watched, seeing that it was already past 10 in the evening.
Did she even ate dinner?
I got out of the car, after I parked it. I headed inside our home, my head was aching from overthinking things. So, I decided to go straight to our gym down our basement instead of going straight to our room, where Amelia probably was.
I took off my tie, my polo, leaving me half naked only, and started working out out of frustrations. Because I couldn't do anything but to give her space. I respected her too much to not give that.
Her, ignoring me was suffocating me. She was choking me with that kind of action she was giving me— I mean, yeah, she kissed me, and everything. But the energy was giving off like I didn't exist even if we did those things.
I am losing my fucking mind.
I grunted, pushing myself to the limits as I did many workout routines. My body was trembling as I did my push ups but I didn't care. This was how I dealt with things, while praying in mind that Amelia and I could make up soon.
After my push ups, I started punching the bag in front of me, huffing in frustration at each punch. Grunting with my jaw clenched. I kept punching and punching, could feel my knuckles getting numb, could see the bruises on my knuckles, yet I kept going until..
"Evan?.." I immediately stopped when I heard her angelic voice, beaming in our gym. I glanced behind me, seeing her standing outside the door way, looking like she just woke up, her eyes were half-lidded and looked like she needed more sleep.
"Go back to sleep, Amelia." I said strictly, calling out her name, which I don't usual do unless I wasn't in the mood.
Because I was.
I turned back to punching the bag, until I felt her small hand behind my back, making me stiff. I closed my eyes, stopping myself, jaw clenched. Then I spun slowly, looking down at her, "what do you wang?" I stared at her blankly in the eyes, looking dead.
She only stared at me, before standing in her tippy toe and kissed me, hands slid up from my sweaty chest alll the way to my neck and wrapped her arms around my neck. She caught me off guard, but of course, I didn't let this opportunity go. My arm wrapped around her waist slowly, pulling her close with my hand on the back of her head and kissed her deeply.
I could finally breathe.
I could finally feel her this time, her need and wants from me.
God, I needed her so bad.
I wanted her.
I have been longing for her.
She pulled away from me, her lips still ghosting mine, looking up at me through her thick, long lashes, "I'm sorry..." She said. My walls immediately broken down with those two simple words.
I groaned, closing my eyes. Before I placed my head on her shoulder, "please, don't do it again.. I can't really think straight or even breathe properly without you... Without us being like this.."
She just hugged me there as we stood, she didn't mind my sweaty body or even my sweats dripping down to the floor. She just held me. Suddenly, I heard a sniffle, then something wet dripping down my shoulder. I quickly lifted my head, seeing her eyes red from keeping herself from crying.
Her eyes looked into mine, and I quickly saw it— the pain, the trauma, the sadness, how she looked at me as if she was sincerely sorry. Her lips trembled, her eyes kept gazing mine. I stared back her, I cupped her face gently.
She broke down, burying her face into my large hands, and I immediately pulled her into a hug.
"I'm sorry.. If I can't make your dreams come true."
Her voice cracked, so did my heart..