The yellow system warning was completely accurate as the female Dracula's eyes rolled back for a split second, and her leathery wings just stopped flapping against the cold night air.
Gravity instantly took over the situation, and they dropped out of the sky like a rock.
'Ah fuck this man.'
Kai screamed as the dark clouds rushed past them, and the freezing wind tore at his clothes as they plummeted straight toward a forest of massive pine trees.
He knew he was going to turn into a red smear on the ground if he stayed attached to her, so he let go of her bare waist right before they hit the tree line and reached out blindly into the dark canopy and somehow managed to wrap his arms around a branch.
The sudden stop ripped the skin right off his palms and knocked the wind completely out of his lungs, but he held on as tight as he could.
The naked vampire kept falling right through the foliage and crashed through the lower branches as its body hit the forest floor with a loud thud that echoed in the quiet woods.
Kai hugged the rough tree bark and carefully looked down through the pine needles.
Dracula pushed herself out of the muddy ground, rubbed her head, and looked right back up at the canopy.
She just clicked her tongue in annoyance.
Clearly, a single human snack wasn't worth climbing a hundred-foot pine tree in her weakened state, so she just turned around and walked away into the dark woods to find easier prey.
Kai stayed frozen on that high branch for a solid twenty minutes just to make sure she was actually gone and not waiting in ambush.
When the forest stayed totally quiet, he slowly climbed his way down to the snowy ground.
His hands were shaking from the adrenaline rush, and his brand-new magic clothes were completely covered in sticky pine sap, but he was actually alive.
He leaned against the trunk and let out a long breath of relief.
Honestly, getting kidnapped and dropped in the middle of nowhere was actually a blessing in disguise.
Sure, he was pretty sad that he missed out on exploring the rest of Sheila's amazing body back in the hot spring, but being stuck in her fancy mansion was a total trap.
He couldn't keep lying about his pathetic level four stats forever while surrounded by elite witches and village elders.
Sooner or later, someone was going to challenge him to a real fight, and his bluff would fall apart instantly.
Now that he was totally alone in the wild, he could finally grind some experience points and level up his combat stats without worrying about looking like a complete weakling in front of a boss character.
He grabbed a broken branch off the ground to use as a makeshift weapon since he dropped his iron dagger somewhere in the sky and started sneaking through the bushes, keeping his eyes peeled for any weak animals he could safely hunt.
He really just wanted to find a basic slime, a slow beetle, or maybe a crippled goblin to hit with his Hard Strike skill.
Instead of finding a normal low-level mob, he heard a weird panting sound coming from a clearing just up ahead.
He peeked through the frosted leaves and saw a massive dire wolf with grey fur and sharp teeth.
But the terrifying beast wasn't hunting a deer or patrolling its territory.
It was actively humping a dead tree stump, its eyes completely glazed over with unnatural lust.
'What the fuck?' Kai thought, blinking hard at the ridiculous sight.
A blue screen popped up over the beast.
[Feral Direwolf: Level 12]
[Status: Highly Aroused and Aggressive]
Kai backed away slowly, making sure not to snap any twigs.
He definitely wasn't going to fight a level twelve wolf while it was in the middle of whatever that was, but after walking a few meters, he found another direwolf doing the same thing to a large patch of moss.
It was whining and scratching at the dirt like a total maniac.
He turned around again, completely baffled by the local wildlife.
But when he crossed a small creek and spotted a third direwolf aggressively thrusting against a smooth boulder, he completely lost his mind.
'What the actual fuck is wrong with this stupid game?' Kai thought, hiding securely behind a wide oak trunk.
'Is the spawn rate glitched in this sector? Why is every single monster in this zone so incredibly horny? I just want to kill a normal rabbit for some basic experience points. I don't want to watch National Geographic's weirdest late-night special.'
He was starting to wonder if his own Greed Feast skill was somehow leaking out and affecting the local monsters, or if the developers just copied and pasted the same adult-themed behavioural code onto every single creature in the forest to save time.
Then something slammed into the bark right next to his face with incredible speed.
Kai flinched hard and looked to his right.
A long wooden arrow with white feathers was stuck deep in the tree, sitting less than an inch from his cheek.
The shaft was still vibrating from the impact.
If he had leaned forward even a tiny bit, that arrow would have gone right through his skull.
He slowly looked up into the branches above him, his heart beating fast against his ribs.
A beautiful elf with skin and long white hair was crouching on a thick branch directly over his hiding spot.
She was wearing light leather armour that blended perfectly with the snowy trees, and she had a massive wooden bow drawn tight.
A second arrow was pointed directly between his eyes, and she did not look like she was in the mood to play any games.
"Don't move, human, or you die," she said, her voice completely cold and serious.