Chapter Thirty-Four: Chaos at 40,000 Feet
The day of departure arrived in a whirlwind of chaos.
Suitcases everywhere. Keiran running in circles. Percy screaming about something. Honey trying to calm him down. Yuri filming everything.
Jay stood in the middle of it all, coffee in hand, watching her family lose their collective minds.
"We're never making it on time," she muttered.
Keifer appeared beside her, equally caffeinated. "The jet waits for us. It's my jet."
"That's not the point."
"What is the point?"
"The point is—" She stopped. Watched Percy trip over a suitcase. Watched Keiran try to "help" by adding more toys to already overflowing bags. Watched Yuri zoom in on the chaos with glee.
"I forgot the point."
"Good. More coffee?"
"Please."
---
Keigan appeared in the doorway, backpack slung over one shoulder, expression of supreme teenage boredom.
"Are we leaving or what? I've been ready for an hour."
Jay blinked. "You've been ready? You're never ready."
"I want to see India. They have good street food."
"That's your motivation?"
"And maybe some temples. Whatever." He shrugged, but Jay caught the excitement hiding behind his cool facade.
Keifer pulled him into a quick hug. Keigan endured it with practiced tolerance.
"Glad you're coming, buddy."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't make it weird."
Keiran ran over, Rex flying behind him. "KEIGAN! KEIGAN! We going on PAPPA'S BIG PLANE!"
"I know, little dude."
"Rex wants sit with you!"
"Rex can sit with me."
Keiran beamed. "Rex happy!"
---
The caravan to the private airstrip was its own adventure.
Three cars. Fifteen people. Approximately forty-seven bags. One stuffed dinosaur with his own tiny backpack (courtesy of Honey, who couldn't resist).
Percy rode with Jay, Keifer, Keiran, and Keigan. This was a mistake.
"Are we there yet?"
"Percy, we've been driving for five minutes."
"FIVE MINUTES IS A LONG TIME."
Honey, in the front seat, patted his knee. "Breathe, babe."
"I CAN'T BREATHE. I'M TOO EXCITED."
Keiran, strapped into his car seat, looked at Percy with the judgment only a three-year-old can muster.
"Tito Percy loud."
"LOUD IS GOOD!"
"Rex says Tito Percy need calm."
Percy stared at the dinosaur. "Rex said that?"
"Rex always says things."
"I'm being judged by a stuffed animal."
"Yes," Jay agreed. "Now sit back and be quiet."
"I CAN'T—"
"Percy." Her voice was calm. Deadly calm. "Sit. Back. Be. Quiet."
He sat back. Was quiet.
Keifer caught her eye in the rearview mirror, impressed.
Keigan, in the back seat, snorted. "This is already entertaining."
---
The private jet was... excessive.
Jay had seen it before, but it still took her breath away. Cream leather seats. Polished wood. A lounge area. A bedroom. A shower. Enough space for fifteen people to spread out comfortably.
Percy burst in first. "THIS IS AMAZING! I'M NEVER LEAVING!"
Honey followed, grabbing his arm. "Percy, let people board."
"I'M ALREADY HERE! I CLAIM THIS SEAT!"
He threw himself into the largest seat, arms spread wide.
Keiran toddled in behind him, Rex in hand. "Tito Percy silly."
"TITO PERCY IS COMFORTABLE!"
"Tito Percy is in my seat."
Percy looked at the seat. Then at Keiran. "This is your seat?"
"Rex's seat. Rex needs window. Rex likes clouds."
Percy looked at the dinosaur. The dinosaur stared back.
"Fine." He moved. "But only because Rex asked nicely."
Keiran nodded solemnly. "Rex says thank you."
Keigan passed them, rolling his eyes. "You're negotiating with a three-year-old about a stuffed animal's seat preference."
"Rex has PREFERENCES, Keigan. Show some respect."
"I'm sitting in the back. Away from all of you."
---
Everyone boarded in waves.
Aries and Ella, calm and organized. C.N. and Rakii, already discussing photography angles. David and Freya, David bouncing with energy while Freya read quietly. Mica and Calix, Mica already raiding the snack bar. Felix and Bridget, holding hands, looking excited.
Yuri was last, cameras everywhere. "Establishing shot. Group boarding. This is gold."
"Yuri, get on the plane."
"I'M ON THE PLANE. I'M JUST ALSO FILMING."
Keigan had claimed a seat near the back, earbuds in, phone out. Classic teenager pose.
Jay sat beside him for a moment. "You okay?"
He pulled out one earbud. "Yeah. Why?"
"Just checking. This is a lot of people. A lot of chaos."
He glanced around at the madness. Percy was now trying to organize the snack bar by color. Mica was attempting to teach Calix a dance. Yuri was filming everything.
"It's fine." He almost smiled. "It's entertaining."
"Glad you're here."
"Yeah, well." He shrugged. "Someone has to keep an eye on Keiran. And Rex."
She kissed his forehead. He pretended to hate it.
"MOM. I'm fifteen."
"My point exactly."
---
The first hour was... manageable.
People settled in. Drinks were served. Keiran pressed his face to the window, watching clouds with wonder.
"Rex! Look! CLOUDS!"
Rex looked. Rex was impressed.
Percy wandered around, bothering everyone.
"C.N., what are you reading?"
"A book."
"Boring."
"That's why you're not reading it."
"Rakii, how many photos have you taken?"
"Two hundred and seventeen."
"That's not enough."
"It's been an hour."
"EXACTLY. NOT ENOUGH."
Keigan watched from his seat, occasionally glancing up from his phone. He caught Jay's eye once and mouthed "Is he always like this?"
Jay mouthed back: "Worse."
Keigan shook his head, smiling despite himself.
---
The trouble started in hour two.
Percy had discovered the snack bar.
"HONEY! LOOK! MINI CHOCOLATES!"
"Babe, that's great."
"THEY'RE SO SMALL AND CUTE!"
He started collecting them. Arranging them by color. Eating them. Collecting more.
Mica joined him. "These are amazing. Why don't normal planes have these?"
"Because normal planes are for POOR PEOPLE."
"We're rich?"
"We're rich-adjacent. Keifer's rich. We're just adjacent."
Keifer, across the cabin, heard this. "I'm right here."
"I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I SAID IT!"
Keigan looked up. "Can you all be quiet? Some of us are trying to ignore you."
Percy gasped dramatically. "KEIGAN! You're supposed to be on MY side!"
"I'm on the side of peace and quiet."
"THERE IS NO PEACE AND QUIET ON THIS TRIP!"
"Then I'm on the side of the snacks." He grabbed a bag of chips and retreated to his seat.
---
By hour three, Percy was vibrating.
Literally vibrating.
"I can't sit still. There's too much energy. I need to MOVE."
"Percy, we're on a plane. There's nowhere to move."
"THERE'S THE WHOLE PLANE!"
He started pacing. Up and down the aisle. Past Aries (who ignored him). Past C.N. (who timed him). Past Felix (who smiled encouragingly).
He passed Jay's seat.
She was reading. Keiran was asleep on her lap. Rex was tucked beside him.
Percy paused. "Hey, Jay—"
"Percy." Her voice was quiet. Warning. "Keiran is sleeping."
"I know, I just wanted to—"
"He's sleeping, Percy."
"I'll be quiet! I'm always quiet!"
"You've never been quiet in your life."
"That's hurtful."
"True, though."
He huffed and continued pacing.
Keigan watched him pass. "You know he's going to do something stupid, right?"
Jay sighed. "I know."
"Want me to distract him?"
"Can you?"
Keigan shrugged. "I'll tell him there's a secret compartment somewhere. He'll spend hours looking."
"That's evil."
"I learned from the best." He nodded toward Percy. "Him, actually."
---
It happened in hour four.
Percy had discovered the onboard entertainment system. He'd also discovered that he could change the music in every section of the plane from the main control panel.
Suddenly, Bollywood music blared through the speakers.
"PERCY!"
"WHAT? IT'S INDIA THEMED!"
"We're not IN India yet!"
"PRE-GAMING!"
Honey chased him through the cabin. "Percy, turn it off!"
"IT'S CELEBRATORY!"
"IT'S TOO LOUD!"
Yuri filmed everything, cackling. "This is content gold. Pure gold."
Aries grabbed Percy. "Sit. Down."
"CAN'T. TOO EXCITED."
"Sit. Or I'll sit you down."
"You wouldn't."
Aries raised an eyebrow.
Percy sat.
Keigan, from his seat, called out. "Told you."
---
For approximately five minutes.
Then he was up again. Bothering David. Annoying Freya. Trying to teach Felix a dance. Asking Bridget if she wanted to "play a game" (she did not).
He circled back to Jay.
Keiran was still asleep. Still on her lap. Still peaceful.
Percy leaned down. "Hey. Jay. Jay. JAY."
She looked up. Her eyes were calm. Too calm.
"Percy."
"Yeah?"
"If you wake up my son, I will throw you out of this jet."
He blinked. "You can't do that. We're 40,000 feet in the air."
"I don't care. I'll find a way. I'll open the door. I'll push you out. I'll watch you fall."
"That's—that's murder."
"Self-defense."
"From what?"
"From your voice."
Honey appeared, grabbing his arm. "Come on, babe. Let's leave them alone."
"But—"
"NOW."
He went.
---
The cabin erupted in quiet laughter.
Mica gave Jay a thumbs up. "That was beautiful."
Rakii snapped a photo. "For posterity. Jay threatening murder. Iconic."
C.N. nodded approvingly. "Baby girl's got claws."
Keifer leaned over, kissing her cheek. "I'm so proud of you."
"He's been doing this for four hours."
"I know. You lasted longer than I would have."
She smiled sweetly. "I love you."
"I love you too. Want me to help hide the body?"
"Maybe later."
Keigan appeared, holding a snack. "That was impressive. Can I get lessons?"
"Lessons in what?"
"Threatening people. Seems useful."
Jay laughed. "Stick with me, kid."
---
Percy, chastened, sat with Honey for a whole thirty minutes.
Then he started whispering.
"Babe. Babe. BABE."
"What, Percy?"
"I have an idea."
"Your ideas are usually terrible."
"THIS ONE IS AMAZING."
"What is it?"
He leaned in, whispering.
Honey's face went through several expressions. "No."
"WHY NOT?"
"Because Jay will actually kill you."
"She won't kill me. She loves me."
"She threatened to throw you out of a plane."
"She was joking."
"She wasn't joking."
Percy considered this. "Okay, maybe she wasn't joking. But this idea is worth the risk."
"Percy. No."
---
He did it anyway.
At hour five, with India less than an hour away, Percy crept toward the cockpit.
Not to bother the pilots. Even he wasn't that crazy.
But to make an announcement.
Over the intercom.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING—well, not actually the captain, it's Percy—BUT I HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!"
Jay's eyes snapped open.
Keifer started laughing.
"WE'RE ALMOST IN INDIA! WHICH MEANS IT'S TIME TO GET EXCITED! AND BY EXCITED, I MEAN—"
"PERCY!" Multiple voices.
"—TIME FOR A DANCE PARTY!"
Bollywood music blared again.
Percy ran.
Jay stood—carefully, so as not to wake Keiran—and handed him to Keifer.
"Hold our son."
"Where are you going?"
"To commit a crime."
She walked toward the cabin. Percy saw her coming.
"JAY! JAY, WAIT! I CAN EXPLAIN!"
"Explain what? Explain how you're about to become the first person to skydive without a parachute?"
"THAT'S NOT A THING!"
"IT'S ABOUT TO BE!"
He ran. She chased. The entire plane watched, howling with laughter.
Honey covered her face. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
Yuri filmed, tears streaming. "Best flight ever. Best flight EVER."
Keigan watched the chase, popcorn in hand. "This is better than any movie."
---
Jay caught him near the back.
Cornered him between seats.
"Percy."
"Jay. Jay, love, please. I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry."
"You woke up Keiran."
Sure enough, Keiran's sleepy voice came from the front. "Mamma? Why Tito Percy screaming?"
Percy paled. "Oh no."
Jay's smile was terrifying. "Oh yes."
She grabbed his arm. Dragged him back toward the front.
"Everyone! Percy has an announcement!"
Percy looked at the crowd. At Honey's disappointed face. At Yuri's camera. At Keifer's amusement. At Keigan's popcorn.
"I'm sorry," he squeaked. "I'm very sorry."
"Sorry for what?" Jay prompted.
"For... for being annoying?"
"LOUDER."
"FOR BEING ANNOYING!"
"And?"
"And for waking up Keiran!"
"And?"
"And for—for everything!"
Jay released him. "Good. Now sit down and be quiet for the rest of the flight."
He sat.
Was quiet.
For at least ten minutes.
---
Keiran, now awake, climbed onto Jay's lap. "Mamma, why Tito Percy scared?"
"Because Mamma is scary when she needs to be."
"Like dinosaur?"
"Exactly like dinosaur."
Keiran nodded wisely. "Rex proud."
Rex, held aloft, seemed to nod in agreement.
Keifer kissed her cheek. "My hero."
"Your menace."
"Same thing."
---
As the plane began its descent, Percy recovered enough to press his face to the window.
"INDIA! I SEE INDIA! IT'S REAL!"
Honey hugged his arm. "It's real, babe."
"WE'RE REALLY HERE!"
"For two weeks. Try not to get us killed in the first hour."
"No promises."
Keigan appeared beside Jay. "He's exhausting."
"Tell me about it."
"But it's kind of fun."
She looked at him, surprised. "You're having fun?"
He shrugged. "It's chaos. But it's our chaos."
She pulled him into a hug. He let her.
"Love you, Keigan."
"Love you too, Mom."
She froze. "Did you just—"
"Forget it. It's the altitude."
He walked away, but he was smiling.
Jay looked at Keifer, eyes shining.
He pulled her close. "Told you. He loves you."
"Yeah." She watched Keigan settle back into his seat, pretending to be cool. "He really does."
---
The plane landed.
India awaited.
And Percy was already trying to open the door before they'd stopped moving.
"PERCY!"
"WHAT? I'M EXCITED!"
"WE'RE STILL MOVING!"
"DETAILS!"
Honey grabbed him. Honey held him back. Honey probably saved his life.
Jay looked at Keifer. "Two weeks."
"Two weeks."
"We might not survive."
"We'll survive." He kissed her forehead. "We have Rex."
"Rex can only do so much."
"Rex can do anything."
Keiran held up Rex. "Rex ready! INDIA! LET'S GO!"
The doors opened.
Chaos spilled out.
And Jay smiled, holding her family close.
India was just the beginning.
---
End of Chapter Thirty-Four