Chapter Thirty-Five: Toddler Wrangling and Toddler Behavior
The first day in India was supposed to be magical.
The hotel was stunning—a palace overlooking the city, with sprawling gardens, sparkling pools, and enough rooms for everyone to have their own space. The group had barely dropped their bags before chaos erupted.
Jay's only goal: keep Keiran alive and happy.
Simple, right?
Wrong.
---
The trouble started at breakfast.
Jay had just settled Keiran into a chair, Rex safely beside him, a plate of idli and fruit in front of him. Keiran was happily smearing food on his face. Life was good.
Then the yelling started.
"—YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
"I KNOW MORE THAN YOU! I'M LITERALLY A GENIUS!"
"GENIUS SCHMENIUS! YOU'RE SEVENTEEN!"
"AGE DOESN'T MATTER! IQ DOES!"
Percy and C.N. were nose to nose in the middle of the buffet line, both red-faced, both gesticulating wildly.
Jay sighed. "What now?"
Keifer, beside her with coffee, didn't even look up. "Something about the best way to navigate Delhi. C.N. researched. Percy didn't."
"So Percy is wrong?"
"Percy is always wrong. That's not the point."
"Then what's the point?"
"The point is Percy can't admit he's wrong."
Jay watched the argument escalate. C.N. was waving his phone, showing maps and data. Percy was waving his arms, showing... enthusiasm.
"You can't just WING IT in a foreign country!"
"WINGING IT IS AN ADVENTURE!"
"GETTING LOST IS NOT AN ADVENTURE!"
"IT IS IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE!"
"ATTITUDE DOESN'T NAVIGATE!"
---
Keiran looked up from his idli. "Mamma? Why Tito Percy and Tito C.N. fighting?"
"They're having a disagreement, baby."
"Oh." He considered this. "Like Rex and dinosaur friends?"
"Exactly like that."
"Rex says they need time-out."
"Rex is very wise."
Keiran nodded solemnly. "Rex always wise."
---
The argument followed them from breakfast to the lobby.
"—and ANOTHER thing—"
"I don't WANT to hear another thing!"
"TOO BAD!"
Jay had Keiran on her hip, Rex tucked under one arm, trying to organize the day's plans. Aries was on the phone with a local guide. Ella was sorting tickets. Everyone else was scattered, packing for the first adventure.
Percy and C.N. were circling each other like angry cats.
Honey tried to intervene. "Babe, maybe just let C.N. handle the navigation?"
"TRAITOR!"
"I'm being REASONABLE!"
"REASONABLE IS BORING!"
C.N. crossed his arms. "You're acting like a child."
"I'M TWENTY-TWO!"
"EXACTLY! ACT YOUR AGE!"
Percy's mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. "That's—you—I—"
C.N. smirked. "Cat got your tongue?"
"I'LL SHOW YOU CAT—"
---
Jay had had enough.
She handed Keiran to Keifer. "Hold our son."
Keifer, wise man that he was, took him without question. "Where are you going?"
"To handle this."
"Jay, they're both adults—"
"One is acting like a toddler. The other is a genius with the emotional intelligence of a rock. They need an adult."
She marched over.
Percy saw her coming. His eyes widened. "Jay! Jay, hi! Beautiful day, right?"
C.N. also noticed. "Baby girl. I can explain—"
"No." She held up a hand. "No explanations. No justifications. Both of you. Stop."
"But—"
"He started it!"
"I don't care who started it. I'm ending it." She pointed at Percy. "You. You're twenty-two years old. Act like it. Winging it is fine for some things, but not for navigating a foreign country with fifteen people. Let C.N. handle the maps."
Percy deflated slightly. "But—"
"No buts. You want adventure? Fine. You can plan one adventure day. YOUR way. The rest of the time, we follow the person who actually did research."
He considered this. "I get an adventure day?"
"One day."
"DEAL!"
---
She turned to C.N. "You."
C.N. straightened. "Yes?"
"You're seventeen. You're a genius. That doesn't mean you get to talk to people like they're stupid. Percy's annoying, but he's family. Be nice."
"He started—"
"I don't care. Be. Nice."
C.N. opened his mouth. Closed it. Nodded.
"Yes, baby girl."
"Good. Now shake hands."
They looked at each other. Then at her.
"Shake. Hands."
They shook.
It was the most grudging handshake in history, but it happened.
---
Keifer appeared beside her, Keiran still on his hip. "That was impressive."
"I've handled toddlers before."
"Those are toddlers?"
"Emotionally? Yes."
Keiran reached for her. "Mamma! Mamma fixed them!"
"I did, baby."
"Mamma best fixer."
"Thanks, baby."
Rex nodded in agreement.
---
Peace lasted approximately forty-five minutes.
They were at the first temple, marveling at the architecture, when it started again.
"—the carvings are clearly from the 12th century!"
"12th CENTURY? They're from the 14th! Anyone with eyes can see!"
"ANYONE WITH EYES CAN SEE YOU'RE WRONG!"
Jay, trying to take a photo of Keiran in front of a pillar, lowered her phone.
"Again?"
Keifer winced. "They're at it again."
"I just fixed this."
"Apparently not permanently."
---
She marched over.
Percy and C.N. were now inches apart, foreheads almost touching, yelling about centuries.
"—12th!"
"—14th!"
"—12th!"
"—14th!"
"BOTH OF YOU. STOP."
They froze.
"The temple was built in the 13th century. I just read the plaque. It's right there. In English. Which you both speak."
They looked at the plaque.
Read it.
"Oh."
"Huh."
Jay crossed her arms. "Anything else to fight about?"
They shook their heads.
"Good. Now go look at the 13th century temple like civilized adults."
They went.
---
Keiran tugged her sleeve. "Mamma, why they keep fighting?"
"Because they're silly, baby."
"Silly like Rex?"
"Rex is cute silly. They're annoying silly."
Keiran nodded wisely. "Rex says put them in time-out."
"Rex is right."
She grabbed both their arms as they tried to slink away.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Uh... to look at more temple?"
"Time-out."
"WHAT?"
"You heard me. Time-out. Sit on that bench. Together. For ten minutes. No talking."
Percy gaped. "We're not three!"
"You're acting like it. Sit."
They sat.
Together.
On a bench.
Glaring at each other but not speaking.
---
Honey appeared, laughing. "You put them in time-out?"
"Rex's suggestion."
"Rex is a genius."
"Rex is the smartest one here."
Yuri filmed the bench from a safe distance. "This is gold. Time-out for grown men. Gold."
Aries passed by, glanced at them, and kept walking. "Best decision all day."
Ella took a photo. "For the family album. 'Percy and C.N. Learn Boundaries.'"
Rakii snapped about seventeen shots. "The lighting is perfect. Their expressions are perfect. This is art."
C.N. glared at her. "I hate all of you."
"No you don't," Jay called. "Five more minutes."
---
Keifer found Jay watching them from a food stall, chai in hand.
"You're enjoying this."
"Immensely."
"Rex is a good advisor."
"Rex is the only one with sense."
Keiran was on her lap, also watching, also drinking chai (very diluted, very supervised).
"Tito Percy sad face funny."
"It is, baby."
"Tito C.N. mad face funny too."
"Also very funny."
"Rex says they learn lesson."
"Let's hope."
---
The ten minutes ended.
Percy and C.N. stood, stretched, and approached cautiously.
"Are we... forgiven?" Percy asked.
"That depends. Are you going to keep fighting?"
They looked at each other. Then back at her.
"We'll try."
"Try harder."
"Yes, ma'am."
Keiran pointed at them. "Tito Percy and Tito C.N. be good now? Or Mamma put in time-out AGAIN."
Percy paled. "She wouldn't."
"Rex would."
C.N. looked at the dinosaur. "Rex scarier than Jay."
"Rex knows."
---
The afternoon passed peacefully.
Well, peacefully-ish.
Mica tried to climb something she shouldn't. Calix had to talk her down.
David got lost for twenty minutes. Freya found him immediately.
Felix and Bridget were disgustingly cute, taking photos together at every stop.
Yuri filmed everything. Rakii photographed everything. They occasionally fought over angles.
Aries and Ella were calm and perfect, as always.
And Percy and C.N. orbited each other warily but didn't fight.
Progress.
---
The real test came at dinner.
A beautiful outdoor restaurant, fairy lights overhead, traditional music playing. Everyone was relaxed, happy, enjoying the moment.
Then Percy mentioned the itinerary for tomorrow.
"I think we should start with the market. Then the fort. Then—"
C.N.'s head snapped up. "The market first? That's inefficient. The fort opens earlier. We should do fort first, THEN market when it's less crowded."
"The market is BETTER in the morning!"
"The FORT is better in the morning!"
Jay didn't even look up from feeding Keiran.
"Boys. Stop."
"But—"
"He started—"
"Doesn't matter. Percy, you can choose the order tomorrow. C.N., you can choose the order the next day. Problem solved."
They blinked at her.
"That's... actually reasonable."
"Simple solution."
"Yes. Because I'm an adult. Now eat your dinner before I put you both in time-out again."
They ate.
---
Keifer leaned over, kissing her cheek. "You're magnificent."
"I know."
"The way you handle them—"
"Like toddlers. Because they are."
Keiran looked up. "Mamma, am I toddler?"
"Yes, baby. But you're a GOOD toddler."
"Rex good toddler too?"
"Rex is the best toddler."
Keiran beamed. Percy and C.N. sulked. Everyone else laughed.
---
Later, as they walked back to the hotel, Keiran asleep on Keifer's shoulder, Jay fell into step beside Percy and C.N.
"Hey."
They looked at her warily.
"I'm not mad. You know that, right? You're both family. I just need you to remember that family doesn't fight about stupid things."
Percy nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I get... excited."
C.N. nodded too. "I'm sorry. I get... competitive."
"I know. That's why I love you both. But maybe channel that energy into something productive?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Solve world hunger. Cure disease. Just stop yelling about centuries."
Percy grinned. "I could cure disease."
C.N. snorted. "You can't even cure your own cold."
"THAT WAS DIFFERENT—"
"Boys."
"Sorry."
"Sorry."
---
They reached the hotel. Everyone dispersed to their rooms.
Jay tucked Keiran into bed, Rex beside him, and kissed his forehead.
"Night, baby."
"Night, Mamma. Rex says goodnight."
"Goodnight, Rex."
She found Keifer on the balcony, looking out at the city.
"Long day?"
"The best kind." She leaned against him. "I threatened two grown men with time-out today."
"And they listened."
"Because I'm scary."
"You're magnificent." He kissed her. "I love you."
"I love you too. Now come to bed before I put YOU in time-out."
He laughed. "Yes, ma'am."
---
End of Chapter Thirty-Five