Chapter 25: Who in Their Right Mind Dates, Anyway?
....
Lunch break.
The students of Class D gathered in small groups to eat. Naturally, the primary topic of conversation was the boy currently face-down on his desk: Seito.
Behind him, Kaguya Shinomiya—the scion of the Shinomiya Conglomerate—was eating an elegant lunch with her personal assistant, Ai Hayasaka.
"Hayasaka, how long do you think it'll take him to wake up?" Kaguya asked, taking a graceful bite of rice.
"Judging by the dark circles under his eyes this morning, he likely pulled an all-nighter gaming," Hayasaka replied with her typical deadpan expression while nibbling on a fried shrimp. "At this stage of exhaustion, as long as we keep the noise down, he probably won't wake up until—"
"Mmm..."
Right on cue, Seito let out a groroggy groan and sat up.
Hayasaka: "..."
Kaguya: "..."
"It seems your calculations were a bit off, Hayasaka," Kaguya giggled, hiding her smile behind her hand.
Hayasaka remained silent, her face a mask of indifference as she focused on her bento, though the speed at which she ate suggested she was slightly annoyed by the timing of his awakening.
Seito blinked as his blurred vision stabilized. He scanned the room, then checked the clock. "Noon already?"
He looked lazy as he propped his head up with one hand. Then, his stomach let out a thunderous growl. He realized he had completely forgotten to pack a lunch in his rush to get to school in pajamas.
He looked at the girl in front of him—the "invisible beauty," Megumi Kato—and tapped her lightly on the back. Megumi turned around slowly, her expression as flat and unreadable as ever.
"Seito-kun? Is something wrong?"
The surrounding students blinked. They looked at Megumi, collective question marks floating over their heads. Who is she? Is she in our class? Since when?
"Kato-san, I forgot my lunch today," Seito said, flashing a bright, cheeky grin. "Think you could spare a bit?"
"I suppose I could," Megumi nodded. She picked up her lunch box and placed it on Seito's desk. "You know, Seito-kun... you're actually the first person in class to remember my name."
A tiny, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corners of her lips. She seemed genuinely pleased. That subtle "main heroine" charm did wonders for Seito's mood.
"You're sitting right in front of me! Of course I remember," Seito said. Without a second thought, he picked up the chopsticks in the box and started eating, completely disregarding the concept of an "indirect kiss."
Megumi opened her mouth as if to say something about the chopsticks, but ultimately decided it wasn't worth the effort and stayed silent.
Behind them, Kaguya's face turned a bright shade of crimson. I-is that... an indirect kiss?! Her "romance-brain," which usually operated at zero capacity, was suddenly overheating.
Hayasaka glanced at her mistress. Sometimes, the Young Mistress is far too easy to read, she thought, continuing her meal.
After a few bites, Seito pushed the box back to Megumi. "Thanks, Kato-san. You're a lifesaver."
"You're welcome." Megumi hesitated for a long moment before picking up the same chopsticks to eat a small octopus-shaped sausage.
Seito, meanwhile, caught the movement behind him in his peripheral vision. Seeing Kaguya's blushing face, he immediately realized what she was thinking. He couldn't help himself. He adopted the slow, taunting drawl of Admiral Kizaru.
"Ohhh... what have we here~?"
"Why is the Young Mistress's face so red~?"
"Thinking about something scandalous~? Don't tell me..."
Seito struck a punchable, arrogant pose, looking down his nose at her. "Does the great Shinomiya... have zero experience in love~? No way... in this day and age, who hasn't been in a relationship~?"
The taunt hit a nerve—not just for Kaguya, but for the entire class. The atmosphere turned cold instantly because, in this room of geniuses and outcasts, nobody had ever dated anyone.
Sensing the impending riot, Seito immediately pivoted. "Relax, relax! I'm kidding. I've never dated anyone either."
He scanned the room, his eyes landing on the effeminate Hideyoshi Kinoshita.
"Hideyoshi, you dating?"
"Not at all," Hideyoshi replied instantly. "Are you?"
"Hell no!" Seito declared. "Who in their right mind dates, anyway?"
"Is 'dating' even the right word? It's just being thirsty for someone else's body!"
"Disgusting! Pure lechery!"
The tension in the room evaporated as the students nodded in solidarity. Even Hachiman "8man" Hikigaya gave Seito a mental thumbs-up. A true ally, he thought.
But Seito wasn't done.
"See, I'm different! If I'm thirsty, I'm honest enough to just say it!"
The Class: "..."
They were nearly floored by his sheer, unadulterated gall.
"Kidding, kidding! Just trying to liven up the mood," Seito laughed. He stood up and walked over to Hideyoshi. "By the way..."
"Yes, Seito-san?" Hideyoshi looked up, confused.
Seito produced a pair of chopsticks from seemingly nowhere and snatched a piece of Salisbury steak from Hideyoshi's bento.
"Mmm! This is great! Top-tier stuff!"
Hideyoshi: "..."
Another food thief!
SLAM!!!
The back door of Class D was kicked open with enough force to rattle the hinges. A shirtless, muscular figure charged into the room.
"SEITO! DON'T YOU DARE RUN!"
Iori Kitahara pointed a finger at Seito, his face contorted in a roar of fury. He had been looking for revenge ever since the class had stomped him the day before, but Seito had been sleeping or missing all morning.
"Iori? What are you doing here?" Seito asked, his expression shifting to a deadpan "dead fish" stare. He wasn't even slightly intimidated.
"What am I doing? We're settling the score for yesterday, right here, right now!"
....
Thank you for reading.
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This is it good night sweet dreams.