"…Goda-sensei… you may be the greatest manga author who ever lived… but the world you made is beyond even your unearthly artistic abilities," I breathed as I took in the sight of the White Sea. The cherry blossoms as we left Sakura Kingdom had been beautiful, but this was downright ethereal, so damn wonderful that I felt like I was in the middle of a dream.
I mean, sure, we were all sopping wet and exhausted from the ordeal of bursting through several dozen meters of semi-liquid cloud cover, but that barely did anything to limit the utter beauty of the White Sea.
Where to start… the Sea itself, I suppose. It was… like being on an airplane, when it had just broken through the clouds. A rippling plane of pure white fluff, like cotton but… but not. Only, unlike on a plane, there wasn't a half-inch of clear plastic and a few inches of metal between me and the clouds. I reached my arm out over the edge and glided my hand through a swell of cloud that had drifted close to the Merry. I giggled euphorically as the cloud flowed through and around my fingers, like a more solid form of seafoam.
And the banks of Island Cloud floating around on the Sea's surface… geeze, like true-blue natural clouds, perfectly solid for the most part, yet jiggling and melding around. Gelatinous matter, malleable and yet firm. And they reached up, too. All around, I could see pillars and walls of the stuff, reaching up and up to form a pure white ceiling through which the rays of the sun were shining down.
It was incredible, it was awe-inspiring. To put it simply, it all but took my breath away—
"Gh…GRK!"
Okay, maybe a bit more than 'all but'!
I shot my hand to my throat in shock, gasping and flapping my mouth as I tried to breathe, but it was no use. Every breath I gulped down felt like half of a normal one, and my lungs weren't handling the deficit well, a fact which my spinning head was readily attesting to. All too soon, I didn't have any other option but to fall to my knees, only just barely managing to keep myself from falling over.
"Cross? Cross!? Cross, what's wrong!?" I was vaguely aware of someone, Vivi maybe, grabbing my shoulder and shaking me slightly.
I wheezed and gasped as I thumped my fist against my chest, shaking my head desperately. "Can't… breathe…" I choked out miserably. "Need… air…"
"HELP! WE NEED A DOC—! WAIT! I AM A DOCTOR! Lay Cross out on his back and hold him steady! I'm going to need a sterile blade, a straw—!"
"GRGHHK!" I choked out desperately, fumbling out my baton and frantically swinging it at the brown blob in my fading vision.
Thankfully, a yellow-topped black blur coalesced in my field of vision, and before I could react, a metal mask was pressed onto my face. I gasped in shock from the action and was rewarded with a fresh breath of air entering my lungs.
"What the—?" I wheezed out as I clasped the mask to my face.
"One of the gas masks from the Krieg Pirates. I kept it leaped we ever ran into another poison weapon, and it looks like it's a good thing I did," Sanji sighed in relief. "Seriously, Cross… are all people where you come from this weak?"
"DON'T COMPARE ME TO MONSTERS LIKE YOU! MY HOME IS A HAVEN OF PEACE AND SANITY, LIKE THE EAST BLUE, BUT BETTER! For the most part, anyway…" I trailed off at the end.
"DAMN, AUSTRALIA, you scary!" Soundbite cackled.
"Yeah, there…" I jabbed my thumb at Soundbite with a nod before glaring daggers at the cook. "Besides, you're not coping as well as you think you are; try out some of your fancy footwork and see how you like it."
Sanji frowned at me in confusion, then, with a shrug, he reeled his leg back and shot a few tentative kicks into the air. He frowned as he put his foot down, then he dropped down on his hands and went through a series of impressive spinning kicks. And when he got up, he was panting as if he'd just run a triple marathon.
"What the…?" he wheezed, doubled over on his knees
"We're nearly two dozen thousand feet in the air," I grit out as I thumped my chest, trying to work out the throbbing pain. "The air's about as thin as rice paper up here. My reaction might be bad, but you're no spring chicken either!"
"Ugh," Zoro grunted as he attempted some 'basic' two-sword techniques. "He's not kidding, this is rough…"
"Ergh, my stomach's spinning…" Luffy moaned, flopping on his back. "This'll take a few minutes to get used to."
"That's not a natural recovery rate…" Chopper sweatdropped uneasily.
"AND you have experience with people RECOVERING FROM THIN AIR?" Soundbite asked.
"I lived on top of a mountain for ten months before I joined the crew. The first lesson Doctorine gave me when we moved in was on how to deal with oxygen deprivation from high altitudes," Chopper deadpanned.
"Point taken."
"I'm surprised, Mister Jeremiah, you don't often forget details of things that you're not supposed to know," Robin remarked, and whether it was the air or what she said—not something you'd expect in a casual conversation, to be sure—she seemed to be somewhat out of it herself.
"She has a point. That's supposed tah be Vivi's job," Carue remarked.
"Yeah, that's supposed to be my—CARUE!" Vivi shrieked indignantly, the dope-slap she gave the duck doing nothing to stifle his laughter, nor that of most of the rest of those on board. Vivi turned scarlet, but fortunately for her, a distraction arose as Usopp leaped up onto the Merry's railing.
"I, THE GREAT SNIPER USOPP, SHALL BE THE FIRST TO SWIM IN THE OCEAN OF THE SKY!" he crowed enthusiastically.
"GO, USOPP, GO!" Luffy, Chopper and the Dugongs cheered.
"WAIT!" I interrupted, snapping my hand up and removing my mask to let my voice carry better.
"Huh?" Usopp glanced at me nervously. "W-what's wrong, Cross? Is this dangerous or—?"
I held my stance for a moment before smiling and jabbing my thumb at a nearby coil of rope. "Oh, nothing much, I was just going to suggest you tie yourself off to the Merry, is all. We're in the sky, after all. If the currents are even remotely directed by the wind, then who knows where you could be dragged off to."
Usopp paled in horror before nodding. "A-ah, right, good point… thanks, Cross!" And with that, he tied a length of rope around his waist and jumped into the wispy 'waters' below, the line trailing behind him as he swam.
I slipped my gas mask back on as we stood around and watched the waters silently for about a minute or so, at which point an uncomfortable atmosphere slowly started to spread amongst the rest of the crew. By then, I was quite glad for the gas mask, because it was hiding the absolutely shit-eating grin I was wearing.
"Cross…" Boss interjected slowly. "We might be several thousand feet above the ocean, but this is still the Grand Line. Is there anything in the water we should look out for?"
"Pff…" I snickered slightly behind the mask. "Well, I did forget to warn him about the sky sharks…"
"Sky sharks?" Vivi repeated in horror.
"But don't worry, they… pff…" I barely suppressed a snort, my grin starting to hurt under the mask, while Soundbite didn't even bother to hide his banana-like smile. "They won't be a problem, we'd have seen motion if there was anything! I just—pff!" I hunched over as I started to shake. "Forgot to mention something, pffheeheeheehee!"
"What did you do, Cross?" Nami asked in a slow and dangerous voice, her fingers twitching visibly at her sides.
Robin herself had a thoughtful expression, which swiftly snapped into shock as a thought struck her, a change that Vivi noticed instantly. "Something comes to mind, Miss All-Sunday?" she asked slowly.
The assassin bit her lip nervously as she glanced over the edge of the ship. "We… are sailing in the middle of a cloud, correct?"
"Pff…"
"Wight…" Carue nodded in agreement.
"A cloud we reached by sailing up into it, correct?"
"Pff…"
"That fact is as indubitably correct as my beak is jaw-droppingly lustrous."
"Then it would be safe to assume… that this sea has no bottom, correct?"
Everyone fell silent apart from my ill-suppressed laughter. At which point the coil of rope Usopp was tied to started uncoiling at a lightning-fast pace, at which point I fucking lost it.
"PFFHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHA!" I hollered, mask falling off as I pounded desperately at the Merry's railing, tears streaming down my face. "GUESS NOT! PFHAHAHAHAHA!"
"OH NOOOOOOO!" Terry shouted, flapping his wings in a panic.
"SHIT!" the Monster Trio chorused, leaping at the rope and hastily grabbing it to stop it from going any further. The fact that Luffy promptly leaped back with a pained yelp and burned hands just made me laugh harder. Hell, I even kept laughing, albeit silently—no breath, you see—as Nami grabbed my collar with an incoherent howl and started shaking me like a ragdoll, joined swiftly by Vivi.
"THAT'S NOT FUNNY, JACKASS!" our resident princess snarled in my face.
"THEN WHY are we LAUGHI-I-ING!? HAHAHAHEEHEEHEEhohoho!" Soundbite cackled madly.
I could see Vivi visibly wrestle with herself before sighing and lowering her head. "Okay, maybe it's a little funny…" Her eyes snapped up, the glare back on in full force. "BUT IT'S STILL NOT NICE!"
"Ya mean like breaking someone's nose isn't nice?" Lassoo asked.
Vivi whirled around and turned her glare on him, a slight aura rippling around her.
Lassoo huffed. "Shuttin' up now," he said, his voice unchanged from his usual lazy deadpan.
I giggled a little bit more, panting heavily from a combination of laughter and the thin air, before noticing the rate at which Zoro and Sanji were pulling up Usopp's rope. "Hey, you guys are gonna want to increase the pace! Usopp didn't just go freediving; he volunteered to act as bait!"
The swordsman and cook stiffened and exchanged panicked looks before triple-timing it.
Finally, the White Sea's surface burst open and disgorged our terror-KOed sniper into the air… alongside the giant sky-Sea Serpent that was following him and the sky-Octopus that was following it.
"OOH, TAKOYAKI!"
While Vivi, Carue and— …huh, only Vivi and Carue actually screamed. Chopper's eyes had taken on a manic glint, and he'd shot his hoof over his shoulder into his bag, while Nami… well, her eyes were wide open, and she was visibly gritting her teeth, but she wasn't screaming. Good for her!
Anyways, while the princess and her companion screamed their heads off, Zoro and Leo leaped off the ship at the sky-octopus with their swords drawn. The instant their blades met the tentacles, the limbs popped like Macy's blimps, letting out an almighty bang.
Sanji and Boss, meanwhile, gave the serpent trying to swallow Usopp a thorough concussion-inducing thrashing before it could lay its fangs on either our ship or our crewmate. Chopper topped it all off by expertly tossing a vial of his so-called Cherry Blossom Blast down the serpent's gaping mouth…
POWIE!
Which promptly detonated in a very impressive pink fireball, distending the beast's stomach before leaving it floating with pink smoke wafting from its mouth. I blinked in shock before most of the rest of the crew, and I slowly turned to stare dumbfoundedly at the doctor.
"Hot damn, dude," I whistled in awe. I absently noted that I didn't seem to need the mask anymore; probably because my bout of laughter sped up acclimation.
"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Chopper roared, his chest puffed out victoriously… for all that meant in his Brain Point. "Yes, witness the might of the fruit of my mind, TREMBLE BEFORE—GRRGGHK!"
Chopper suddenly cut himself off and started slamming his hooves into his forehead, switching to grinding at his temples after a few seconds. That done, he sighed as the tension flowed out of his shoulders, waving his arms reassuringly. "I'm good, I'm good! I-I increased my intelligence on default when I got scared, but I'm back! So don't hit me, damn it!"
"Aww…" Mikey, Luffy and I whined as we relaxed after getting ready to concuss him.
"WHY DO YOU SOUND SO DISAPPOINTED!?"
Meanwhile, Robin was standing over at the edge of the ship and inspecting the yet-floating remains of our attackers. "How curious…"
"It's the Grand Line, Robin," I dryly noted. "Sea, sky, or hell, even land; things just keep getting curiouser and curiouser."
"Lewis Carroll?" Robin questioned, smiling slightly. "I hope you're not going to tell me that we'll have to deal with a grinning cat, size-altering mushrooms, or anthropomorphic cards, are you?"
"I can't say for certain that we will not. Still, while we're on the analogy, was Reverse Mountain one hell of a rabbit hole or—?"
"WAAAAAGH!"
Our conversation was suddenly cut off by the till-then-comatose Usopp jerking up and flailing in panic.
"What now?!" Sanji demanded with a growl.
"T-T-THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY PANTS!" Usopp screamed, scrambling with his lower garments and tossing a flailing flounder-like fish onto the deck.
I cocked an eyebrow as I eyed the flopping fish. "Well, now… that's not something you see every day."
"FEELIN' LONELY, were ya?" Soundbite cackled.
"Screw… you… slimeball…" Usopp grit out as he finally calmed down. "And Cross… well… thanks for telling me to put on the rope. BUT WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO TELL ME NOT TO SWIM SO FAR THAT I'D FALL OUT OF THE FREAKING SKY!?
"Oh, come on, Usopp," I snickered as I waved my hand airily. "Even if that wasn't something that you should have been able to figure out on your own with your genius mind, can't you take a joke?"
"A JOKE?! HOW WAS THAT A JOKE? WOULD YOU HAVE LIKED IT IF—?" He paused and grimaced as he reconsidered what he was about to ask. "Never mind, you probably would have liked it if we did that to you…"
"Lemme go and get my bathing suit!" I grinned eagerly and started to dash for the trapdoor to the guy's room—
SLAM!
—before I was laid out flat with a nice and smoking lump on my skull.
"NOT ON YOUR LIFE, JACKASS!" Nami raged.
"Hmm, interesting…" Attention was drawn away from me by Robin, who had picked up the fish Usopp had… donated, and was examining it closely. "This fish appears to have adapted to suit its environment in the cloud sea…"
"Makes sense," Boss shrugged as he chomped down on a fresh cigar and started patting down his shell. "We Grand Line creatures have adapted real fast-like over the past centuries to keep up with the counter-adaptation of countless other species trying their damnedest to eat us."
"So the reason that Dugongs evolved sea-turtle shells is… protection from sharks?" Nami asked. "Or just naturally guarding weak spots so you can focus on martial arts?"
Boss froze for a moment before redoubling his self-patting. "Er, yes, those reasons are good," he muttered… was that a BLUSH?
"Actuawwy—!" Carue started to raise his wing… before he and Vivi froze on account of the weapons being jabbed in their faces by the TDWS.
"Not a damn word out of you," they growled in sync.
Once the native Alabastans nodded and were released, I sidled up to Vivi and gave her a surreptitious glance. "And the reason for that not-so-passive-aggressive treatment was…?"
Vivi gulped heavily as she continued to eye the Dugongs. "I don't trust Soundbite not to burst out laughing when he hears it—!"
I slammed my hand down on Soundbite's shell, forcing him inside.
"That works. And anyway, all I know is a rumour, but… from the way some marine biologists tell it, one generation there were two distinct populations of sea turtles and manatees, the next…"
I was silent for a moment as I digested the implications.
"Please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying."
"She didn't say anythin'," Carue muttered with a roll of his eyes. "They all but confiwmed it."
"DAMN IT!"
The three of us jumped in shock, though thankfully it appeared that Boss's ire wasn't directed at us.
"Tsk, I lost my flint-rocks while towin' us to the Knock-Up Stream…" he growled darkly before perking up at Sanji. "Hey, got a light?"
"Yeah, sure thing, Boss," Sanji nodded, kneeling down and flicking his lighter beneath the Dugong's cigar. It took a few tries, no doubt due to the thin oxygen levels and the thing being ever so slightly cloud-logged, but he eventually got a small flame going and managed to light both of their… cancer-sticks? If they even had cancer in this world, considering the natural regeneration rate these people's cells had. Though, considering how cancer works, that might make things worse.
Either way, Boss took a deep drag from his cigar, blew out a cloud and nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Sanji. I can only imagine what I'd do without my cigs!"
BOOM!
It was at that exact moment that an explosion blew a plume of Sea Clouds up and over the edge of the Merry, soaking most of us and extinguishing both of the smoker's fixes. They stared blankly at the said fixes for a few moments. Then…
"…You know, true masters sometimes take a vow of silence," Boss ground out slowly. "And since it seems that we can't go one fucking hour without someone saying something provocative and bringing some freak force of nature down on us, I'm starting to wonder if I should try it myself."
"Maybe so, but for now…" Sanji slowly stood back up and turned to glare bloody murder at the berserker that was fast approaching us.
I grit my teeth as I saw Wiper coming closer. Honestly, all I had to do was have Soundbite Gastro-Amp me so I could say something like 'Light the fire of Shandora,' or 'Descendant of the Great Warrior Calgara,' or 'We're here in the name of Montblanc Noland.' Any of those would give the Shandian warrior—hell, any Shandian, period—enough pause to listen to reason. So, why wasn't I doing it?
Because that would mean juggling getting the Shandians on our side to rush Upper Yard at just the right time, and while I'll willingly admit to taking a few courses in 'manipulative bastardry' recently, that game was too big for me to play. Still, it couldn't hurt to establish neutral terms as opposed to bad. Now, how to do that…
I pondered it, staying as out of the way as I could as the Monster Trio attempted to subdue Wiper, with much more success than the curb-stomp in canon, thanks to realizing the limitation of the thin air. But what was I supposed to—wait, that could work.
"Lassoo! Cani-Slick!"
Lassoo glanced at me quizzically, but then nodded, and shifted into his hybrid form before spraying Wiper with a concentration of octopus ink. As effective as an oil slick, Wiper's skates lost any semblance of traction, and he fell on his ass.
Unfortunately, so did Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji.
"WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, CROSS?!" the Monster Trio chorused angrily.
"WHAT VILE SUBSTANCE IS THIS?!" Wiper snarled in return, trying and failing to get back to his feet. The TDWS took full advantage of the distraction; their bodies were built more to thrive than struggle on the slick surface. Raphey and Leo positioned themselves on either side of him, Donny standing behind him, and Mikey standing in front, weapons drawn and pointed at him. Wiper glowered. "Insolent Blue Sea Dwellers. I will eliminate—"
"Can it, cloud-skater. We don't want any trouble with you, so why did you attack us?" I cut in.
Wiper glared defiantly and began shifting around. I snapped at Lassoo, and he started padding forwards, growling viciously with his hackles raised.
"Make one false move, and the next thing he shoots will be a bomb. Point-blank range, how high do you think your odds are? Just answer the question; we won't attack if you won't."
Wiper glowered again before scoffing. "I'll answer that question with one of my own: why did you come here? What business do you have here?"
"Our idiot captain," I deadpanned, pointing at the rubber idiot in question as he flailed on the deck and tried to get back to his feet in classic Three Stooges manner. "The second he heard about there being an island in the sky, he didn't care what we had to do; he only cared that we got up here, period. Much to our detriment…" I muttered the last bit darkly.
"EXPRESS ROUTE, BA-BY!" Soundbite whooped eagerly.
Wiper glanced at my shoulder. "What—"
"Devil Fruit," came no fewer than a dozen deadpan voices.
"Right…" Wiper trailed off slowly before tensing as he processed what Soundbite had said. "Wait, 'express—!' You took the Knock-Up Stream!?"
"Eeyu—ACK!" I started to nod before being cut off by Nami grabbing my collar and hauling me a foot off the deck!
"THERE WERE OTHER OPTIONS!?" she shrieked, her teeth almost morphing into fangs.
"So, I take it you didn't enjoy the ri—SHITSHITSHITWAITNO—!"
SPLASH!
Damn, that woman was strong.
I hacked and wheezed up a lungful of fluffy cloud once I managed to get back to the surface, glaring at the deck. "OVERREACT MUCH?"
"GO DROWN, JACKASS!"
"LATER! FOR NOW, THROW ME A LINE ALREADY!"
Once I was back on deck and relatively dried off, I gave the navigator a flat look. "OK, two things you need to know. First, let me remind you that if we had tried looking for any of those other ways, we wouldn't have gotten away from Sengoku's task force! And second, while I did know there were other options, I don't know what or where they are; all I know about them is that they're even more dangerous. Sure, with the Knock-Up Stream, all of us could have died, but in any of the other ways, some of us would have died."
I didn't wait for her to reply before looking back at Wiper, who I could feel smirking at me from beneath his mask. "What the hell are you so smug about, ass—!"
"Robin?"
THWACK!
"Ack!" I wheezed, sinking to my knees and massaging my suddenly aching throat. I had no desire to invest in a gorget, but if this was how things were going to be...
Vivi spared me a thoroughly annoyed glance and Robin a nod as she stepped past me before adopting a far more serene expression. "I apologize for Cross, Mister… um…"
"I am part of the Shandian tribe. That will do," he said firmly.
"Mister Shandian, then. Cross has a habit of making enemies as, if not more, often as he makes friends. He enjoys agitating us all. Allow me to make some introductions: I am Nefertari Vivi, and these are my friends. We are the Straw Hat Pirates. It is an honour to be here on the seas of your home."
Vivi capped it all off with a polite bow.
Wiper stared at her silently for a moment before shifting his stance to cross his arms. "Why did you come here to the White Sea?" he grunted.
Vivi held up her hands in a show of surrender. "As Cross was saying, we're just here to take in the sights; a voyage of curiosity, nothing more. We don't want any trouble. Heck, we don't even cause any trouble normally."
"She's… telling the truth. We've never been the ones to throw the first punch," Nami hedged, pointedly not averting her eyes from the berserker.
Wiper slowly swept his eyes over the deck, taking in everyone: the Monster Trio's determined expressions, the TDWS and Boss's ready stances, Usopp and Carue's panicking forms...
Finally, he grunted and nodded slowly. "You might be telling the truth."
I considered relaxing for a moment, save for the unspoken words in his tone of voice.
I wasn't the only one who heard it either. "But?" Vivi asked, frowning and tensing up cautiously.
"But you might not be…" Wiper jerked his Burn Bazooka up, pointing it straight down at Merry's deck. "And I'm not willing to take that chance."
"Even if it means dying with us?" I snapped. "Fair warning, you touch our ship, we touch you in such a way that you don't get un-touched! Do you not have anyone back home who would miss you, or who would need your strength? Is the risk worth that much to you?"
Wiper stayed still for a moment before chuckling darkly. "That's not a good question to ask me, Blue Sea Dweller, and let me tell you why. Up here, I'm known…"
Wiper's middle finger jerked, and the smell of rotten eggs flared out across the deck.
"As the Berserker."
"SHIT!" I barked, jerking away in panic. I tensed in preparation for the oncoming explosion…
"ENOUGH, WIPER!"
When the standoff was thankfully interrupted by a bellow from an old man in plate armor wielding a lance and riding a large bird, who dove and struck at Wiper with what I'm pretty sure were only barely subsonic speeds.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you stood), Wiper managed to snap his shield up and catch the Sky Knight's weapon before it could strike him. Thankfully enough, the force was enough to shove Wiper clean off the Merry's deck and send him tumbling into the White Sea.
We waited tensely for a few moments, scanning the misty-white waters for any signs of our attacker, and ultimately relaxed when nothing came of it.
"It would seem that he's gone…" Gan Fall mused as he touched down on the deck.
Vivi frowned miserably and bowed her head as she crossed her arms. "I… I thought I was getting through to him…" she muttered dejectedly.
"Hey, it's not your fault, Vivi!" I said, giving her shoulder a consoling pat. "You heard the guy, he called himself a berserker! Let's be honest, the chances of him agreeing on a truce weren't that high in the first place."
"Your friend is quite right… Vivi, was it?" Gan Fall nodded in solemn agreement. "I apologize for the actions of the man who assaulted you. He has a strong reputation for being headstrong and acting brashly, but…" He glanced sadly out at the sea. "I assure you, he means well."
"We'll take your word for it," Boss grunted as he glared balefully at his soaked cigar before turning his gaze on the knight. "But who are you? A friend of his?"
"Friend?" Gan Fall mused before shaking his head with a sigh. "No, far from it; we have a common enemy, but we have never considered each other as allies against him. No," He pounded his fist into his chest confidently. "I am the Sky Knight, a soldier for hire. My name is Gan Fall, and this is my partner, Pierre."
"Bienvenue!" the bird saluted before recoiling at the truly snooty French-waiter accent he'd squawked in. "Sapristi! What ze 'ell—?"
"Could you get any more stereotypical?" I deadpanned.
"One day…" Soundbite sighed euphorically.
"Ah…?" Gan Fall started slowly.
"The Straw Hat Translation Service, brought to you by our resident Noise-Noise Fruit-empowered jackass of a snail, Soundbite," Lassoo yawned. "Live it, hate it, dream of mauling him one day."
"Hey, you don't see any of us complaining," Mikey piped up.
"YEAH! SOME OF US ACTUALLY APPRECIATE THE SKILL NEEDED TO TRANSLATE THE VOCABULARY OF SOMEONE AS POWERFUL AS ME!" Terry agreed exuberantly.
"I have to admit, my voish is stawting to gwow on me," Carue reluctantly admitted.
"Aye do believe that I could get used to zees as well…" Pierre mused before raising his wing and starting to sing some bars. "La-la-la-La—!"
"Sky Knight or not, aren't knights supposed to ride on horses?" Raphey asked, tilting her head. Gan Fall tore his attention away from the new development and chuckled.
"As a matter of fact, Pierre is no ordinary bird; for you see, he too has eaten a most unique fruit! He has eaten the Horse-Horse Fruit, enabling him to transform into—"
"A PEGASUS?! OH, this is too good!" Soundbite cackled.
"La-la-LA! Hey, what the—!?" Pierre squawked in protest as his voice went from Frenchy to, well… pony.
I slapped my face, hard. "I had. To fucking. Ask. When am I ever going to learn not to give you-know-who an excuse to play more merry hell with my sanity?" I then proceeded to glare sidelong at Soundbite. "And you realize that Twi—" I cut myself as I realized just who I was surrounded by. "…that she is a," I gestured at my forehead. "And not a pegasus, right?"
"Would you prefer PINKIE PIE?" Soundbite asked curiously.
"…never mind. Anyway, before I completely lose it, you were saying something about being a soldier-for-hire? Does that mean we owe you money for saving us?"
"WHAT?" Nami shrieked as she snapped her Clima-Tact out and jabbed it at the knight, and I breathed a mental sigh of relief as her anger redirected everyone's attention. "YOU'LL GET A SINGLE BERRY OVER MY COLD, DEAD BODY!"
"Oh, no, no, this time is free of charge," Gan Fall said hastily. "But I have to make a living too, you know; if you need me again, it will cost 5 million extol."
"FIVE MILLION—wait, what's extol?" Nami asked curiously before going straight back to vicious. "AND THAT'S STILL TOO MUCH!"
"You don't even know the exchange rate yet…" I groused.
"Oh, and you—? …of course you do. What is it, then?" Nami leered at me.
"Uh…" I counted down on my fingers curiously before giving my best estimate. "A few thousand extol per berry if I remember correctly."
Nami blinked as she calculated that out. "So, somewhere in the ballpark of a thousand or so berey… THAT'S A RIPOFF!"
"THAT'S THE PRICE OF A SODA, WOMAN, THAT'S A STEAL!" I spat back indignantly.
"Ah, wait, wait!" Gan Fall waved his hands hastily, obviously trying to keep up with us. "You-you mean to say that you do not have any extol? But how is that possible? Surely you should have picked some up on the previous islands on your way here, no?"
Nami continued to glare daggers at me for a second longer before crossing her arms with a snort. "We were in a bit of a rush back down at Sea Level, so we took the only way up we had. We just got here a few minutes ago."
"My word…" Gan Fall breathed in awe as he stared at us, his eyes wide with disbelief. "So there are still people brave enough to ride the Knock-Up Stream. I didn't think there was anyone else left in the world who was that bold! You must be navigators of exceptional bravery and skill."
"O-oh, well now…" Nami paused in a taken-aback manner, a luminescent blush painting her cheeks. "T-that's very nice of you to say, and I appreciate the compliment, but THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!"
"Oh, no no no!" Gan Fall shook his hands hastily. "I could never make sailors so brave as you pay. Well… too much, at any rate. Here," the knight dug a whistle out and tossed it to Vivi, who nearly fumbled the catch in surprise. "It's a whistle. Blow it, and I shall come to your aid wherever you might be, free of charge, but only once. I gift it to you in honour of your immense bravery!"
The knight then proceeded to sling his leg over Pierre's back, who was still glaring daggers at Soundbite and making the inestimably impressive decision not to say jack. The giga-bird's musculature then morphed into a… less than impressive pegasus. "FARE THEE WELL, BRAVE TRAVELERS!" he called out before he was carried off into the sky.
But not without one last shot at my sanity in the form of Isaiah flying up and perching on Pierre's head.
"I'm on a horse," he stated in a stupidly smug tone of voice.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
I barely noticed the bemused looks everyone gave me as I rammed my head into Merry's mast.
"…Am I missing something?" Gan Fall asked.
"It's a private joke, apparently, and I think we're all better off if it stays private," Nami muttered.
Gan Fall shrugged in acceptance, and as he and the still-steadfastly silent Pierre flew away, I slowly pulled away from the mast and turned my eyes back on Vivi, my expression carefully neutral. "Right… first things first."
THWACK!
"OW!" Vivi yelped, clutching her skull as I rapped my fist on it. "Why me? She's the one who hit you!"
"Like I don't know a patsy when I see one," I scoffed. "I get hit, I hit back, and I still owe you for that bit before Jaya, so watch your back!" I took a moment to huff and get the frustration out of my system before sighing and relaxing. "That aside… nice going, princess. That was some damn fine work; if we meet Wiper again, I think we have a much better chance of being neutral rather than enemies."
Vivi stared at me uncertainly for a few seconds before smiling. "Thanks, Cross."
I smiled back, but that smile faded as I turned to address the rest of the crew. "Now, everyone, listen up. This is extremely important."
I abruptly had everyone's attention.
"Once we reach the White-White Sea—that would be the upper layer of the Cumuloregalis, about 11,000 feet above us—I'm not going to be able to talk freely about what I know. Really sensitive stuff and all that. Everything will be fine for the immediate future, and I'll tell you about the rough stuff when the rough gets going. But until the day after tomorrow, don't ask me about anything that I shouldn't know. Otherwise… well, let's just say that failure up here is not an option for anyone with a conscience. Got it?"
A round of nods and affirmative statements, shaky and confident alike, started coming at me from the rest of the crew.
"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be writing down what's going to happen so I don't have to say it out loud when the time is right. Robin, care to help me out?"
"Me?" she asked in surprise.
"Her?" concurred many others.
"Well, I could use an extra set of hands or ten to make copies, and she's the only one of us who has any decent amount of experience at keeping her trap shut despite knowing that one slip-up could get her dead."
"Excuse me?" Vivi snapped indignantly, only to wilt under glares from Zoro, Nami, Soundbite, and myself. "…One slip of the tongue one time, and you just can't let it go, can you?"
"NO."
I then proceeded to grin cheekily. "Plus, Robin would just use her powers to peek anyway; this way, I imagine she'll enjoy helping me with figuring out how to properly mess with you all."
Robin blinked at me curiously before grinning with equal cheekiness and slinking by me on the way to the kitchen. "You know me so well, Mister Jeremiah," she crooned.
I stiffened and rammed my knuckles into my thigh to calm myself before pinning a cold glare at her. "Move along."
Thankfully, she was content to do so with an airy chuckle… that had Sanji glaring blazing daggers at me. I responded with a flat 'fuck-off' look before looking over at Usopp. "And by the way, I'm gonna want to talk to you once I'm done. And bring your tools; you're gonna have to work fast."
"Does that involve me, too?" Lassoo asked cautiously.
"It could if you want it to," I offered, before pausing as a thought struck me. "It could also involve a discussion with Chopper about Rumble Balls…?"
Lassoo snorted and waved his paw. "Pass. I'm a gun that can turn into a dog; I'm badass enough already. I already let these two dig around in me before, and it was a miracle that the only thing to go wrong was the oil. I'm not letting them go for round two."
"HEY!" the doctor and sniper yelled in offence.
I settled for shrugging indifferently. "Fair enough. Anyway, let's get sailing, people. Set sail for that cloudfall over yonder!" I indicated the horizon before heading up towards the cabin.
As I mounted the stairs, I heard Boss heave a heavy sigh. "Is anyone else starting to get tired of his cryptic-ass Sea King shite?"
I barked out a laugh and waved over my shoulder. "Love you too, Boss."
One nice thing about the White Sea was that, being this high in the atmosphere, there wasn't any of the crazy Grand Line weather we usually had to deal with. This was probably the calmest the sea had been since sailing to Loguetown, and most of us took the time to relax, even Nami; I guess having extraordinarily mild weather and a clear landmark to navigate to just made it too easy, especially after the hell that was the Grand Line's weather.
Hence, everyone took the time to relax in their own ways. Some trained, some slept, some leaped overboard and went sightseeing…
And me? Well, with Robin's help, I managed to get nine copies of the notes detailing everything relevant I could remember involving Enel, the priests, and the Enforcers, as well as a basic outline of the war's events up until Luffy defeated Enel. I also put in the notes about the few Shandians I remembered by name, what to say to convince them that we were on their side, and which ones would listen to reason. And finally, I made sure to emphasize how important it would be to steal any and all Dials from the Priests or Enforcers that they defeated, or at any opportunity they got. With that much more firepower in our collective arsenal, with any luck, we'd be able to deal with any inevitable curveballs in the coming arcs that the great butterfly in the sky would flap our way.
"Are you sure that we don't need more than this, Mister Jeremiah?" Robin asked quietly.
"Nah, we've got enough," I shook my head as I read them over, double-checking the facts I'd gotten down. "One copy each for you, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Vivi, Boss, and the TDWS to split. Luffy wouldn't want one, and really, he doesn't need it."
"I was more referring to the fact that you've only given the most basic details regarding events that, if left unchanged, would destroy an entire island and thousands of lives," she replied warily, looking through her own packet with unease. "I assume you can understand why that bothers me."
I shrugged as I started sliding the packets into my messenger bag. "I get your trepidation, I really do, but honestly, as the involvement of your…" I shuddered heavily as my shoulder burned. "Shall we say, ex-furry friends demonstrated, the world tends to auto-correct things so that fate flows as it's meant to. No guarantees, mind you, human error and all that, but…"
I shrugged helplessly. "Really, now, what more can I do? If they rely too much on details that don't happen, things could end up worse than anticipated. And believe me…" serpentguy's story flitted through my mind, drawing out a shiver. "I've seen worse. It doesn't end pretty. At least this way, there's a chance that if all goes well, we'll be able to save Angel Island. And if not… We'll at least cut down on how many people die or, at a minimum, fry. If that's all I can do, then I have to be satisfied with it."
Robin looked at me with an appraising, curious expression. "If I can't ask how you know all of this—"
"Crew's right out there, I'm certain they'll be all ears," I deadpanned, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder.
Robin twitched slightly before moving on. "—then may I ask why you follow the path that your knowledge lays out for you, knowing all of the difficulties and dangers along the way? I never had a choice, but as you have no bounty… yet, at any rate, I can only assume that you chose this path willingly, even knowing how much things could go wrong. So, why did you do it?"
I blinked in surprise before chuckling darkly. "Well, believe me, it wasn't my choice at first; suffice to say I got a bit mouthy, one thing led to another, and I wound up in the East Blue. After that, I got lucky enough to run into Luffy and the Straw Hats of the time, who were just everyone from Sanji down and… well…" I trailed off as I remembered that day.
I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms behind my head as I gazed up at the ceiling. "I'll be honest… I originally planned on joining the Straw Hats for the same reason as you: survival. I knew they were strong, I knew they were… relatively morally upstanding, and while their journey was never going to be safe, at least I'd be with the people who'd ultimately pull through."
"But something happened," Robin divined.
My eyes glazed over slightly as I remembered the exact moment she was unwittingly referring to.
"I'm gonna be king of the pirates!"
I grinned warmly at that particular memory. "Yeah, something happened, alright: the force of nature that is Monkey D. Luffy. The guy's hopeless in a number of ways. He can't swing a sword worth a damn, can't cook for shit, can't navigate, can't lie, no medical skills I'd let him try on me, he's a bottomless pit, and on his intelligence…"
"A GOOFBALL! A wingnut! A KNUCKLEHEAD MCSPAZATRON!" Soundbite eagerly provided.
I cocked my eyebrow at him. "Didn't you use that one back when we first met the crew?"
"HEY, YOU'RE NOT the only one reminiscing! Talking about back then SPARKED MY—say, did we EVER PAY LUFFY BACK FOR KNOCKING US OUT OF THAT TREE?"
I frowned. "You know what, I don't think we ever did," I muttered darkly. "We've gotten him a few times for a few things, but… We'll have to work on that."
"Your point, Mister Jeremiah, about our captain's many faults?" Robin asked, though her smile distinctly said she didn't mind the delay.
I snapped my attention back to her. "As I was saying, for all that Luffy's got flaws, making fast friends isn't one of them. I planned on joining the Straw Hat Pirates for my own benefit, but…" I chuckled and shrugged helplessly. "Instead, I got ensnared and drawn into this life hook, line, sinker, and rod. I tried to keep it intellectual, to play it safe, but they had other ideas. Simply put… I intended to sail with the Straw Hats, but instead, at some point or another, I became a Straw Hat. And honestly, it's not like I was protesting all that much."
"That's intriguing, Mister Jeremiah, but I'm not sure that it answers my original question."
I shrugged. "95% of my knowledge is centred around the Straw Hat Pirates, their lives, and their journey. I originally joined them so that I could use that knowledge and stay safe."
Robin cocked an eyebrow, no doubt at my tone of voice. "But no longer, I take it?"
I smiled wistfully as I nodded in agreement. "I'm no longer content with just 'knowing' the journey, Robin. Now… now I want to be a part of it."
Robin processed that for a moment before glancing back at her notes. "And despite everything, the life-threatening situations, the opposing pirates, the abuse at the hands of your fellow crewmates—"
"Hey, it's not like they're actively aiming to hurt-hurt me!" I promptly defended. "There's a world of emotional pain between getting clocked over the head by a closed fist and getting a slap from an open hand. And besides, I used to be a lot more squishy. It's actually kind of nice to be able to take hits and keep on rolling without worry!"
"…I do believe you could have used a better word than 'squishy,' Mister Jeremiah. But that aside, with all of that as well as how little you imply that you're capable of changing the outcome, you still believe that following the path your knowledge leads you down has more good than bad?"
I nodded without hesitation. "By a long shot. It's hard at times, and I'll admit that certain events could shatter all the confidence I have, but I know that I'm still on the right path; when all is said and done, I have confidence in following my dreams."
Robin sighed. "Then I hope you're prepared for the disappointment that will come one day."
I couldn't suppress a wince at hearing the sheer brokenness in her voice. I hesitated for a minute before speaking up again. "Tomorrow, when we set out again… do your best to find your way to Shandora."
Robin glanced up at me curiously. "And the reason for this prompting is…?"
I considered for a moment before spreading my hands helplessly. "Because while it will be a hard and perilous journey, those are the most rewarding journeys of all."
The archaeologist pondered what I was saying before smiling and nodding lightly, and unless I was mistaken, I saw hope in her expression. "Very well, then, I'll just have to trust you… Cross."
I smiled back before standing up and walking to the door. "I'm going to hang on to the rest of these notes until we get ready to go," I said as I opened it. Then I blinked as I took in our progress towards the gate. Or what little we'd made, at any rate.
"Huh, looks like we finished with plenty of time to spare. Well…" I grinned viciously as I trailed my hand into my bag. "Only one thing for it, then. After all, we can't leave all those poor, delusional bastards in Marineford hoping we died, can we?" I sent an inquiring glance back at Robin. "Don't suppose I can get you to guest-star for a bit, can I? Maybe even make it sound like a coincidence and get them searching the skies for you in vain?"
Robin visibly pondered that for a moment, giving my proposition much more consideration than she had the last time I'd asked before shaking her head. "Thank you, Cross, but no. I'd like to imagine that I still have some measure of goodwill left with the World Government, and I'd rather refrain from needlessly reducing them to ash."
I shrugged indifferently. "If that's your choice, so be it. For now, though," I unhooked the transceiver mic and stepped outside. "Wish me luck!"
-o-
"Don don don don!"
"DAMN IT!"
Kizaru glanced upwards and whistled as something akin to an explosion shook the main tower of Marineford, causing no small amount of plaster to rain down on him. "Hmm… Looks like the boss isn't that happy the Straw Hats survived." He then glanced down at the snail ringing on his desk and hummed contemplatively. "Hm… what to do, what to do… pick up and see if they actually made it to Sky Island, most likely pissing off Sengoku in the process, or just go for a walk around Sabaody and see what comes up."
He stretched slightly in his seat as he contemplated matters of deep, deep importance before he ultimately shrugged and aimed a finger-pistol at the Snail. "Eh, I've got nothing better to do."
And with that, he shot the mic off the back of the ringing snail with a bolt of light, causing the frightened gastropod to perk up with a cocky expression. "Three and two and one and we are live! Good afternoon, loyal listeners, and allow me to say that—!"
"DOUBLE SUN POWER!"
"GAH!" Cross yelped in shock as the sound of flapping came over the connection. "What the hell are you—!?"
"I'M INTERRUPTING YOUR WEAK-ASS INTRODUCTION! ONLY MEMBERS OF THE BEAR-GLOVE TRIBE ARE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO INFORM THE WORLD THAT IT'S TIME TO START THE SBS!"
"GET THE HELL OFF MY HEAD, YOU FEATHERY MENACE!" Cross roared indignantly.
"WHAT HE SAID! STOPPING Cross from starting the SBS is MY SCHTICK!" Soundbite barked in agreement.
"GOODBYE!" the foreign voice cried before apparently flapping away again. Incoherent grumbling came across the speaker before Cross spoke again.
"Viewers? If you care about your sanity, do. Not. ASK. And stay away from Jaya, too, particularly the jungle. Ergh, sweet mother of… Anyway! You no doubt want to know whether or not we managed to reach Sky Island! Well, listeners, the answer is a big fat yes!… but also no. You see, there is not merely an island up here in the sky, but a sea… a sea made of clouds! I realize, of course, that this must sound insane, but I assure you, I am not speaking out of my ass! We are currently sailing on a sea of pure, filmy white 'liquid', though I hesitate to call it that, having touched it for myself. Words… fail to describe the sheer beauty of what I see right now…"
Kizaru whistled in awe as he eyed the snail. "Well, well, it looks like they actually managed to make it. I'm quite impressed. Wonder if I'll actually get to meet—"
BANG!
Kizaru blinked in surprise as he crossed his eyes to glance up at the swiftly-closing hole in his forehead before turning his gaze on the wall of his office behind his Transponder Snail. "A problem, Vice-Admiral Brett?"
"YOU SHOT ME AGAIN, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" an agonized bellow echoed through the wall, aided by the fact that said wall looked more like Swiss cheese than an architectural structure. "STOP SHOOTING YOUR DAMN SNAIL AND ACTUALLY GET UP TO ANSWER IT FOR ONCE!
"Ah, really, again? Whoops, my bad. This is what, the tenth time?"
"SCREW YOU, ASSHOLE!"
"Well, no need to be rude…"
-o-
"But oddly enough, despite us being… HEY, NAMI! IMPERIAL TO METRIC, HOW HIGH ARE WE?… THANKS! As I was saying, despite us being 7,000 meters above the sea, we still haven't reached the island our Log Pose is pointing to yet. That's right, listeners, our journey is only partially complete! We're currently on our way to where I assume we'll find the way up to our destination, located 10,000 meters above the sea."
"An ocean in the clouds actually exists… hmm. I would have expected it to be difficult to breathe at that altitude, but it seems that they're having no trouble," Koshiro reflected.
"Sensei, is Zoro really up there? There are really islands up there?" the young students clamoured.
"Well, I can't claim to have seen them myself, but I think I'm more inclined to believe Cross than not," the swordmaster replied, looking curiously at the snail.
"Awesome! I wanna go up there!"
"Unfortunately, viewers, it's not all euphoria and beauty up here; within minutes of arriving, we became acquainted with the local wildlife—including sharks, sea serpents, and octopi—followed by meeting a guerilla warrior—that's the war term, not the primate—who tried to blow us apart as soon as he saw us. We were only saved thanks to a mercenary riding an oversized bird that ate the Horse-Horse Fruit. Does that last part sound cool?"
"NOT SO MUCH, suckers," Soundbite piped up.
"No kidding, you wouldn't expect a pegasus to be so unimpressive. Besides, Pierre's big enough to ride without being a Zoan, and he clearly hasn't put any effort into actually exploring the usefulness of his powers… hmm. I should have told him to do that. Well, we'll probably meet again. Ah, hey! We're getting close to… wow, some kind of gate? Geeze, this place is loads more civilized than anyone could have suspected! Well, a quick guess says that things are going to get really hectic, real fast. So, sorry for the brevity, but for the moment and probably returning later today, this is Jeremiah Cross—"
"AND SOUNDBITE!"
"Signing off!"
"Well, so much for not making a habit of broadcasting three times a day," Koshiro muttered as the snail fell asleep again.
"Uh, sensei?" one of his students raised his hand curiously.
"Yes?"
"Why are you saying that like it's a bad thing?"
Koshiro opened his mouth to respond… then closed it. "Good point, thank you."