Chapter 34 - Skypiea 1 Part 2

"Hot damn…" I whistled as I gazed up at the cloud-fall reaching up into the heavens before us. If I'd thought the damn thing was massive from a distance, it was absolutely titanic up close! And the architecture of Heaven's Gate was quite awe-inspiring as well… though it'd panicked more than a few other members of the crew.

"That name does not fill me with confidence…" Usopp swallowed nervously.

"Oh, so dat ain't just me?" Carue quacked in agreement.

"Oh, calm down!" Boss scoffed with a waved hand. "Ya bunch of pussies. I, for one, think this is exciting! For to storm the very gates of Heaven itself—ERK!" The dugong froze as a cyan rod of metal tapped itself on top of his shell.

"Not the time, got it?" Nami stated frigidly.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good."

"Woohoo!" Luffy cheered eagerly. "Heaven, heaven, we're all going to heaven!"

"This is going to be quite the experience…" Robin mused.

"Never expected to get up here in any sense of the word, did ya?" I grinned cheekily. I then grimaced as a hand slapped against the back of my head. "Okay, bad taste, my bad."

"Anything we should look out for, Cross?" Vivi asked as she examined the gateway.

"Ehh…" I mused slightly before nodding as I pointed out the door that had opened in the structure. "Eeyup, over there."

"Pardon me," Amazon called out as she started clicking images with her Vision Dial. "But are you here as tourists or as invaders?" She didn't give us a chance to respond before continuing. "Either way, it doesn't matter. If you wish to ascend to the White-White Sea, the price is one billion extols per person. That is the law."

Sanji paled in horror as he took in the gatekeeper. "Please tell me that not all angels look that old up here…" he whimpered pitifully.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," I muttered as I rolled my eyes.

"THANK GOD!"

I wisely decided not to inform him about how shouting that up here was a particularly bad idea.

Nami started making some mental calculations before raising her hand curiously. "Ah, pardon me, but do animals count towards the total tally?"

"It doesn't matter either way, as it is not necessary to pay the toll to pass," Amazon shrugged noncommittally.

"SERIOUSLY!?" Usopp, Carue, and Chopper yelped in shock.

"WOOHOO!" Nami cheered eagerly. "That means we don't have to pay over a million beri in entry fees!"

Vivi, meanwhile, was far more cautious. "We really don't need to pay?" she asked skeptically. "Not even a single extol?"

"Of course not," Amazon nodded solemnly. "The choice on whether to pay or not is entirely yours. I am neither a gatekeeper nor a guardian; I neither can nor will stop you. My purpose here is merely to observe and record."

Vivi narrowed her eyes accusingly. "So that you can relay who paid and who didn't to the local authorities."

The crew (or at least the members who understood what Vivi was saying) tensed up as Amazon smiled… or smirked, more like it. "You would be surprised at how few read between the lines…" she chuckled knowingly.

Zoro glanced at me cautiously. "Cross—?"

I gave him a flat look. "Do you seriously think we'd be able to go ten minutes without breaking any laws, even if we did pay?"

"THUG LIFE! Yippee-kai-YAY!" Soundbite whooped ecstatically.

"Besides, how likely is it that Nami would ever consider handing over a million beri for something so…" I air-quoted. "Trivial?"

"NEVER!" Nami pledged viciously as she jabbed her Clima-Tact in the air.

"Well, if that's your final decision," Amazon shrugged as she dug through her robes.

"Nonononowait!" Vivi tried to protest as the elderly woman withdrew and activated a Tone Dial, which was the signal for a pair of big, meaty claws to burst out of the river of clouds beneath us and grab onto the remains of the Merry's wings.

"That is the Lobster Express of the White Sea," Amazon called out. "Hold on tight and enjoy the ride."

And with that, for the second time that day, the Merry accelerated to speeds that no caravel had ever achieved before, throwing us off our feet and leaving us grasping at whatever we could grab as we wound and twirled our way up the Milky Road to the White-White Sea.

And while I was whooping it up and enjoying the thrill ride for the fun time that it was (obviously), others were taking a more… reserved stance.

"JUST ONCE, CAN WE COME TO AN ISLAND WITHOUT CAUSING A STUPIDLY HUGE SCENE?!" Vivi screamed over the rushing winds.

"PFFHAHAHAHA! LEMME GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT!" I cackled eagerly.

Sadly, the voyage came to an end all too soon, though at least it was a damn spectacular one, because shooting up and out of the clouds to behold a tropical freaking paradise arrayed before us, an utterly impossible island situated several thousand meters above the ocean... well. Awesome is such an overused word, but this truly inspired awe.

Trees grew everywhere, and giant chains of plant matter supporting massive Milky Roads stretched to and from the island. The buildings were normal enough, though at first glance, they seemed to have a thing for staircases. But the part that made it impossible was the fact that the island looked to be built entirely on different layers of clouds. It was amazing… and yet, I couldn't enjoy the sight as much as I wanted to, knowing the island's fate. I closed my eyes, looking away from my exuberant crewmates, only to feel a hand on my shoulder. I looked over to see Robin standing beside me, a ghost of a smile on her face.

"Do your best, and if that's all you can do, be satisfied with it," she said softly.

I almost managed to smile back as I nodded, and turned to look back at Angel Island. Apart from the aforementioned exuberance and awe that had even Robin interested, the journey to the beach was uneventful.

Reaching the shore, on the other hand, was heralded by eager cries of joy from Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Carue, who leaped onto the beach and started running around like maniacs. The saner members stayed aboard, though all of them, even Zoro, were staring at the situation in wonder. Glancing at my shoulder, even Soundbite was staring in starry-eyed awe.

I then realized that our guests had yet to take off, and I looked back at the railing to see both Terry and Isaiah staring at the island with interest.

"So, what are you two going to do now?" I asked curiously. "I'm sort of surprised you didn't take off after we got to where the Knock-Up Stream was."

"Hmm," Isaiah nodded to me. "I will readily admit that I was initially unprepared to accompany your crew on this journey. However… apart from the fact that I'm interested to learn more about these 'Shandians' that that Wiper fellow mentioned, the magnificent suavity of the voice I now have is a treasure that I don't intend to give up so easily."

"For once, I agree with him," Terry said calmly… before going right back to yelling. "I'M NOT READY TO GIVE UP BEING ABLE TO SPEAK WITH A VOICE THAT SO PERFECTLY MATCHES MY POWEEEEEEER!"

I rolled my eyes but otherwise didn't react. "Alright, have it your way. But behave yourselves, got it?"

Both of them nodded.

"So, Cross," Vivi asked as she slowly slid up next to me, eyeing me skeptically. "Care to tell me just how much trouble we're in for not paying?"

I slowly turned back to her, my eyes narrowing, and Zoro and Robin both mimicked the action. It took her all of two seconds before she winced, realizing her mistake. "Okay, wait—"

I chuckled and shook my head placatingly as I knelt down and started unfastening my gauntlets and greaves. I'd taken to wearing them as often as possible, because really, when wasn't I getting into danger these days? "Don't worry, don't worry, it's fine. Not like they don't already know anyway, communications are pretty fast up here! And I'll tell you, I swear! I just need to do one thing first."

Vivi perked up. "And that would be—?"

And with that, I promptly vaulted over the edge of the Merry and ran eagerly towards the beach. "WOOHOO, SKY ISLAND!"

"DAMN IT, CROSS!" Vivi screamed after me.

"DON'T CARE, HAVING TOO MUCH FUN!" I called back. And I really, really was! The beach was squishy and fluffy, like an entirely natural moonbounce, and it was absolute freaking heaven on my feet!

I whooped ecstatically as I joined Chopper in rolling around. "This is awe~so~me!"

"OVER THE SEA, Darling, it's better, UP WHERE IT'S HIGHER, Take it from me!" Soundbite sang ecstatically.

"Damn it, Cross…" Vivi ground out, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Aw, c'mon, Vivi, live a little!" Nami prompted with a chuckle as she patted her friend's shoulder. "I mean, he's not wrong! Look around!" She waved her arm out at our surroundings. "We're in the sky, Vivi! We are stepping where no man—!"

"Where few Blue Sea Dwellers!" I corrected.

"…alright, that takes a lot of the steam out of me, but…" Nami leaped into the surf and stretched her arms with a euphoric groan. "Come on, it's a beach! In the sky! The Marines can't reach us here—can they?"

"Not unless they're willing to take a shitload of time or manage to get some reinforced ships onto the right Knock-Up Stream; if it was remotely easy to get up here, the World Government would have territories in the sky already. Plus, this isn't the only Sky Island. In short, no; we could stay here for a year, and they probably wouldn't manage to track us down anytime soon."

"Eeeheehee, then that means I can finally take some time to cut loose and relax on an actual beach!" Nami giggled. "I haven't taken the time to relax on one since before I met Luffy!"

"Heheh, ye—hey, wait, me neither!" I sat up. "The only beach I've been to since I left home was the one on that island I was marooned on, and that sort of took any possible enjoyment out of it! Damn it, this adventure has been hectic so far!"

"But I must admit that it has had its advantages…" Robin mused as she moved towards the railing. "Until now, I never stopped to think of any of this as adventurous. Perhaps I should reconsider my stance." And with that, she jumped into the clouds.

"You heard the scary-ass assassin lady!" Boss whooped from the tree he was hanging out of. "Boys, I have but one order for you! Cu~t loo~se!"

"Aye-aye, Boss!" the four of them cheered, sheathing their weapons and stashing them in their shells before spreading out and thoroughly enjoying the scenery.

"C'mon, Vivi!" Carue called. "Twy to have fun! We can wowwy about whatevah twouble we get into when we get into it, but wight now, this is fweaking amazing!"

"Hey Carue, check this out!"

CLONK!

"QUAGH! WATCH IT, LUFFY!"

Vivi chewed on her lip for a moment before ultimately sighing and allowing a smile to come over her face. "Why do I even try to be sensible around a crew like this? I just can't stay worried," she reflected fondly.

"That's the spirit! Now, do me a favour, would you?"

"What is it, Cro—?"

SPLAT!

"Did that feel like a snowball to you, or should I pack it tighter—?"

"GET BACK HERE SO THAT I CAN DROWN YOU, CROSS!"

"PFHAHAHA! CATCH ME FIRST, WEAK-WIMP!"

"PREPARE TO DIE, CROSS!"

"LOOK OUT, wild cook ON THE LOOSE!"

"PFFHAHAHAHAAAA!"

We spent the next few minutes having… relative amounts of fun and enjoying ourselves, and Sanji had just gotten me under his heel when the air was suddenly filled with the sound of music.

Sanji froze mid-pre-pummel, glancing up in confusion. "What the—?" He then froze as he caught sight of the one playing the harp, standing on a hill of cloud several meters away. He seemed too shocked to even go into love mode. "It's an angel," he breathed.

I grinned, taking advantage of Sanji's distraction to push myself up to my feet. "Indeed, she is. Now, if you'll excuse me." Once she stopped playing—and damn was she good, like 'Brook has competition' good—I called out, "Heso!"

Conis started in shock before smiling kindly and waving back. "Heso! Are you from the Blue Sea?"

"Yeah, we flew up here in our ship," Luffy nodded in a devil-may-care manner. "Do you live up here?"

"Indeed, I do," Conis nodded as she strode up to us. "Welcome to Skypiea's Angel Beach, my home." She noticed the ginormous nuts Luffy was carrying (HA!) and giggled in amusement, no doubt having seen this kind of thing countless times before. "I see you're eager to try some conash, hm? You won't have any luck that way, though. The outside of the shell is as hard as steel; you have to cut through the underside." She promptly demonstrated as much with a switchblade she pulled out of…

I leaned around to the side slightly as I examined her dress for pockets and came up empty. "Ah… where exactly did you—?"

Conis grinned cheekily as she stored the thing somewhere before picking up Su. "My name is Conis, and this is my pet, Su. She's a cloud fox."

"Su—so! It's nice to meet you—what in the name of the great lightning bast—MMPH!?"

Conis hastily clamped her hand over Su's muzzle with a mildly panicked expression. I winced myself, surreptitiously scanning the thankfully clear skies; that could have been very, very bad. Once I confirmed that Enel wasn't going to turn us into crispy jerky, I processed the voice that Soundbite had given Su and looked at the snail quizzically.

"Should I recognize that one?" I asked.

"You didn't watch POKÉMON?" Soundbite asked in honest surprise, then tilted his head. "BUT WAIT, you mentioned Greninja back in ALABASTA."

"I did watch it… to Diamond and Pearl, anyway," I mused before shaking my head. "And anyway, they didn't use… gonna say Vulpix?" Soundbite nodded in affirmation. "Yeah, didn't show up again past season one… or two, whatever, Kanto/Johto, you know. And besides, she never said anything besides 'Vulpix.'"

"FAIR ENOUGH."

"Um, excuse me, but… you're responsible for Su talking?" Conis asked shakily.

"He is," I pointed at Soundbite with a flat look. "Yeah, our ship is pretty chock-full of Devil Fruit users. Soundbite is one of the least!" CHOMP! "YEOWCH! Okay, okay, withdrawn!" I yelped, tugging at the bastard gnawing on my neck.

"Ah, getting back to my talking cloud fox, please?" Conis used her free hand to point at the yet-struggling Su.

"Noise-Noise Fruit, one of the many uses he's come up with for it, is for him to act as a translator for animals. Sorry?" I shrugged sheepishly.

Conis sighed before smiling kindly. "No, no, it's perfectly fine, I'm happy Su can talk, she just needs to…" She gave her pet a meaningful glance. "Learn how to watch what she says?"

Su stopped struggling for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Heso? Heso? Holy goat-sack ass-biters! I can actually talk!"

"Su! What did I just say?"

"What!? I didn't say anything about him!"

I sighed as Soundbite cackled beside me; somehow, I expected Su to be a lot more like her mistress. But then again, when you combine fox with no doubt shittons of pent-up resentment for said mistress's oppressors, I suppose it shouldn't have come as a surprise. "Ahem, sorry about that, but once he starts, the only way to get him to stop is by gagging him and, well…"

"Some of us doth protest to that course of action!" Boss cut in.

"Seconded!" Carue squawked.

"And I make three," Lassoo added from the Island Cloud lounge chair he'd quite literally burrowed himself into.

"Sorry?" I offered sheepishly.

Conis glanced down at Su before waving her hand in a placating gesture. "It's perfectly fine, I was just… surprised, is all." She then re-adopted her by-then-signature smile. "Honestly, I should be thanking you; it'll be nice to actually talk with Su!"

"INCOMING sea-scooter," Soundbite suddenly announced out of the blue.

"Oh, the klutz is back!" Su perked up happily.

"SU!"

"The charm wears off fast, don't it?" I snickered.

Conis fumed silently for a moment before looking out to sea and smiling fondly. "Well, it looks like my father's back from fishing! Heso, father!"

"Conis, heso!" Pagaya waved back… though probably not the brightest of moves given how badly he was shaking on his Waver.

"What the heck does 'Heso' mean!?" Luffy questioned in confusion.

"Do the words 'cultural sensitivity' mean absolutely nothing to you, Luffy?" Vivi asked before sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose. "What am I even saying?"

Conis, meanwhile, looked at Luffy with just as much befuddlement. "But wait, didn't your friend—?"

"Say, what's he riding?" Nami interrupted as she gazed curiously out at Pagaya's fast-approaching form.

"It looks cool!" Chopper squealed eagerly.

Before anything else could be said, Pagaya started swerving a bit as he approached. "Pardon me, but I am coming ashore."

And indeed he was; he was coming in fast… very fast… OHSHI—!

"DOOOODGE!" Soundbite cried, an action I hastily performed to avoid becoming the Blue Sea World's first case of vehicular manslaughter.

"Do you really think I've been calling him a klutz all these years for nothing?" Su deadpanned.

"Bite me, bushy-tail…" I growled into the beach. "I'd like to see you do any better on that thing."

"Like I'd ever be stupid enough to get on it, two-legs."

"Oh, dear, is anyone hurt?" Pagaya asked as he shakily got to his feet.

"Only big-mouth's pride!"

"Su…" Conis groaned, nigh comical tears trailing down her face at this point.

"Ya know—!"

"Cross, before you get into an argument with a fox," Nami interjected as she glanced over at me. "Is that a fixed-up version of the thing we salvaged?"

I huffed as I sent a final glare at an all-too-smug Su before nodding to Nami. "Yeah, it's called a Waver. Though it's not quite the same, seeing how our version's got twice as much horsepower."

Conis looked at me in surprise. "Wait, you know about Wavers, too? And you have one?"

"Eh, not really," I waved her off. "That's the first one we've seen in person, the one we have is sky-based, too. We only have it because we found it in a two-century-old wrecked ship that nearly fell on top of us yesterday."

"I… see…" Conis hedged uneasily, obviously trying to process what she was hearing.

"Oh, hello there," Pagaya waved at us in greeting. "I take it you must be from the Blue Sea?"

"Yup yup yup!" Soundbite piped up.

"Devil Fruit," I said before Pagaya could ask.

"Ah. Well, I see you've met my daughter. My name is Pagaya. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Jeremiah Cross and Soundbite, same to you," I replied. "I don't suppose you know anyone good with Wavers? We've got one in our boat that needs some serious repair work; the Dial engines looked intact, but besides that—"

"You even know about Dials? Have you been to a Sky Island before?" Conis asked wonderingly.

"No, but I read a very detailed story about a crew that did travel to a Sky Island," I said truthfully, and then slapped myself, grimacing. "Damn, I forgot to bring vearth."

"The heck is vearth?" Zoro asked.

"Exactly what it sounds like…" I sighed as I ground the heel of my palm into my forehead. "A jar of the stuff would have been useful."

"I got a jar of di-irt, I got a jar of di-irt, and guess what's inside it?" Soundbite sang.

"What could a most beautiful angel of the heavens," Sanji sang dreamily before snapping back to affronted. "Want with dirt?"

"Q-Quite a bit, actually!" said angel jumped in shock. "You see, Island Cloud—that is to say, the cloud we are standing on now—is capable of sustaining plant life, but it cannot cause it to sprout. To grow our crops, those of us who inhabit the sky need vearth. As such, it is a highly sacred substance to us! A jar of it would have been…" She sighed sadly. "Most beneficial for us…"

"I am so sorry about that…" I trailed off before re-slapping myself. "Hang on a minute, I'm a complete dipshit. Hey, Nami, you think you could spare some soil from your tangerine grove?"

"Huh?" Nami asked, before looking thoughtful. "Hmm, if it's just the soil… yeah, I think we have enough that I could spare a jar or two, as long as we replenish it as soon as we head back down."

"Perfect! Any chance we could trade them for a couple of spare Dials you've got and a good repairman for the fossil-Waver we have?" I asked the trade-ees in question.

"P-Pardon me, but I'm a Dial-engineer myself. I'll gladly take a look at it, and we have a small collection of spare Dials in our house," Pagaya said, both shocked and happy. "If you're really giving us a jarful of vearth, that's more than a fair trade. Thank you, Cross."

"Yay! We can grow our own foxnip now!" Su said happily.

Conis winced uncomfortably. "Su, the last time you got foxnip, you made your way through the town six times before we managed to catch you!"

The cloud fox's response was to giggle and wave her tail happily. "I know! Why do you think I want to try it again?"

"You're MY KIND of fox, GIRLY!" Soundbite cackled.

"Thanks! You're pretty cool yourself, greaseball!"

I slapped my hand on Soundbite's shell with a grimace. "Talking animal companions. Can't live with them, can barely live without them, am I right?"

"I'm starting to get the picture…" Conis concurred morosely.

While Zoro retrieved the Waver and Nami and Sanji went to get the soil from the grove—Sanji to keep Nami from dirtying her hands and Nami because she'd never let anyone touch the trees without her being there, not even… least of all us—a round of introductions and conversation followed as Conis and Pagaya learned of the unfamiliar species of Supersonic Ducks, Kung-Fu Dugongs, and even Transponder Snails. That was a problem that I'd have to think about more; I wanted to be able to keep in contact with Conis, Wiper, Gan Fall, and the rest of them through the SBS when we left, but there was no convenient Transponder Snail on board that we had forgotten about. The only solution I could see was leaving behind Pinky or the Brain, or both, and that was a decidedly less-than-optimal choice. Ultimately, though, I decided to cross that bridge when we came to it; it was the least of my worries while Enel was still around.

After Nami and Sanji gave the vearth to the overjoyed Conis, Pagaya, and Su, Nami took Pagaya's Waver out for a spin after I yanked Luffy back from it. I wisely neglected to mention that it was supposed to take ten years of practice before anyone could ride a Waver that well until after she was well on her way. Because there was no way in hell I was going to put up with that much gloating.

After watching the navigator zip back and forth on the waves for a bit—and honestly, it was rather impressive, and I really looked forward to riding shotgun on the thing—Pagaya stated that he would probably be able to repair our Waver, once he got back to his house, and invited us over for dinner.

I took that chance to call Nami back, calmly insisting on her joining us. Fortunately, she was able to read between the lines of me using the words 'get your ass back here now' and jabbing a finger at the beach, and she came back quickly enough. The walk up the stairs towards Pagaya's house and past the cloud quarry featured Pagaya explaining how the islands were formed, thanks to the pyrobloin sent into the sky from volcanic eruptions, increasing the clouds' density. And I had to admit, the quarry was, at the risk of overusing the word, awesome to look at. Simplistic, and yet there was a definite sense of precision and industry to it. It was quite a sight.

Once we arrived at the house, Sanji and Pagaya headed straight for the kitchen, while Conis fetched a small box full of very distinct shells.

"These are all the spare Dials that we have. I'm afraid they're just common household ones that we keep in case the ones we use break: Breath, Flame, Tone, Vision, Flavour, Heat, and Water. But you're welcome to whichever ones you'd like," she said kindly.

"Well, we'll definitely want the Water Dial," I said, remembering how little the story touched on that particular Dial. "Fresh, drinkable water is a rarity down on the Blue Seas, and any means of storing it would be of great use to us."

"A good choice," Conis nodded in agreement before holding up a very familiar spiky Dial. "Especially if you decided to take its counterpart, the Flame Dial, as well!"

"Ah—ERK!" I started to hedge before cutting myself off in a hiss. Getting your shoulders crushed by two separate irate females does that to you.

"Thanks," Nami grit out irritably. "But we already salvaged one from the ship that fell on us."

"We tried running some experiments with it and, needless to say…" Vivi continued, her hand digging into my collarbone. "We don't need another."

"Save me…" I whispered in terror.

Conis glanced between them for a moment before her eyes widened and she looked away, a blush rising to her face. "I believe I can understand your anger," she muttered.

"HA!" Su barked from the other side of the couch. "I remember that incident! Well, mostly, anyways! Remind me, were those underoos purple or—MMPH!?" The fox was cut off by a scary-accurate pillow lodging itself in her jaws.

"I'm so sorry—!"

"PURPLE!" Soundbite barked out with a cackle. "Her heart rate SPIKED! Quite risqué, eh—HEY!"

I growled as I forced Soundbite into his shell. Again. "No, no, I'm the one who sorely needs to apologize…"

"Might I advise merely splitting the difference and calling it even?" Robin proposed.

I sighed before looking back at Conis. "Moving on, could you show us how that Vision Dial works? I know it captures images, but how does it reproduce them on paper?"

In the end, we settled for the Water Dial, the Vision Dial and, at Sanji's request, the Flavour Dial. And shortly after that, we found ourselves enjoying the sweetest lobster I ever tasted, along with a fine selection of island fruit.

"Lobster tail…" I moaned euphorically as I sucked the scrumptious crustacean meat down. "Mother of the seas, I haven't eaten lobster in so long…"

"Didn't know you were that big a fan of the shelled meats, Cross," Sanji chuckled.

"Lobster tail, bisque or shrimp, Sanji…" I chuckled eagerly. "Either or, I couldn't give a damn. Just gimme some, and it'll be nice and gone!"

"Is it cannibalism, you ask?" Soundbite mused around the claw he was gnawing on before annihilating it and swallowing it whole. "MAYBE! BUT IT'S TOO DELICIOUS FOR ME TO CARE!"

"Well, I'll keep that in mind next time I have some," Sanji nodded confidently.

"Hey, Conis? This is delicious, but I prefer my food with more salt," Su piped up, prompting Soundbite to shudder.

"I'll remember that, Su," Conis replied, taking a shaker and sprinkling more of it over Su's plate. The fox nibbled at the food before purring contentedly.

"YOU REALIZE this means we can no longer be friends, RIGHT?" Soundbite sniffed imperiously.

Su's response was to shoot an indecipherable glance at the snail before flicking her tail. "Oh, we were friends? I hardly noticed. I tend to wipe little puddles of slime away, not befriend them."

"Su!" Conis gasped in shock.

"Wait for it…" I said, holding my finger up patiently.

Soundbite, for his part, gaped at the cloud fox for a moment before grinning a massive grin. "Correction… this feels like THE START OF A MOST BEAUTIFUL PARTNERSHIP."

"There it is."

"A fox and a snail. Sort of a weiwd paih of fwiends," Carue mumbled.

"We're talkin' about Soundbite here; I'm not surprised he'd be fast friends with a fox as snarky as this one," Lassoo said around his own mouthful of meat. "Besides, what the rest of the world calls 'weird' is more like batting 1000 for this crew. Case in point: I'm a talking gun havin' a conversation with a giant duck."

"While having dinner alongside four adolescent martial arts turtle-seals and their teacher," Mikey added.

"With said dinner cooked and flavoured using seashells," Sanji continued.

"On a picturesque island in the sky, so beautiful that it brings a single tear of awe to even my most imperviously handsome eye," Isaiah contributed.

"Do I even need to mention the captain?" I asked. "I'm only half-kidding here."

"Alwight, alwight, withdwawn alweady," Carue squawked, though he was smiling.

That got a chuckle from everyone.

"So, Pagaya," Robin began. "While we may be somewhat familiar with the culture of Sky Islands in general, I'm curious as to how your day-to-day lives go on this island. Would you mind telling us more about your culture?"

Now that got something of a reaction out of the father-daughter pair. It wasn't totally overt, mind, but minute full-body clenches were kind of hard to disguise, not to mention the agitated way Su's tail fluffed out. And judging by the way that the non-moron members of the crew all to a sapient narrowed their eyes or sat up straighter, it wasn't just me.

Still, credit where it was due, apart from that singular, no doubt entirely involuntary tell, Pagaya and Conis remained composed.

"Well, pardon me if I'm not all that detailed in my recollections, but as you said, you want to hear the day-to-day affairs, and those all tend to blur together," Pagaya mused thoughtfully. "Typically, I spend my day either making any Dial-devices that are commissioned from me by clients or repairing any broken appliances that I'm asked to. It's not really all that fascinating, to be honest. Dial-engineering is quite straightforward once you've learned it. Apart from that, it's mostly just fishing trips for food and for sale."

"I spend most of my time walking on the beach or practicing my harp-playing," Conis added. "I sometimes go to Lovely Street, to shop for more Dials for Father or to get other ingredients, either for dinner or for the snacks I like to make for the local children." Her smile took on a slightly saddened tint. "We're also something like unofficial lifeguards around here. I watch over the children when they go swimming and…" Her smile trembled, ever so slightly. "I welcome any Blue Sea Dwellers who come to visit. It's not uncommon, and I don't think I ever get tired of explaining the way things work up here and seeing their surprise." She then chuckled, her mood lightening up significantly. "But I have to admit, it was a pleasant surprise when I heard you say 'Heso,' Cross; it's the first time I've met a Blue Sea-dweller familiar with our culture."

"Huh? Oh!" I pointed at myself before starting, and scratching the back of my head with a sheepish grin. "Well, I just knew the stories; at the time, I didn't think I'd ever actually end up with anyone crazy enough to prove them true. But I'm glad I did; if our crew ever retires, I say we come back here for the rest of our lives."

"Seconded!" said most of the rest of the crew, and the honesty in Robin's smile indicated that she concurred. But the smile Conis gave in response was noticeably strained.

And Vivi's disappeared entirely into a serious frown as she leaned forward, scrutinizing the angel intently. "Conis," she started in a very business-like tone. "Seeing as you're so familiar with the ins-and-outs of Skypiean immigration, there's something I've been meaning to ask."

Conis blinked in confusion before smiling invitingly. "Sure thing, what is it, Vivi?"

The princess glanced at me, and I hesitated for a moment before nodding solemnly. Better now than from the mouths of the well-meaning but excessively lead-handed White Berets.

Having received consent, Vivi gave Conis a serious look. "What are the consequences of entering Skypiea without paying the one billion extol per person toll at Heaven's Gate?"

Conis blinked in surprise before she and Pagaya all but froze up. "A-are you saying that you—?"

"Yes, much to my chagrin, we didn't pay," Vivi sighed despondently. "Our navigator didn't deem it worth the cost."

"It was a total ripoff!" Nami protested, but much more weakly, given Conis and Pagaya's fearful reactions.

"W-well, that makes you illegal entrants, m-meaning that the island's law enforcement, the White Berets, will most likely be arriving to arrest you soon," Conis said worriedly. It was apparently only a fraction of what she felt, going by just how white her knuckles were as they bunched up her dress.

"But that's only a minor crime," Pagaya said quickly. "The issue can be resolved if you can pay the fine. I believe it's ten times the entrance fee."

"And if we don't pay that?" Nami asked, her eyes narrowing.

Pagaya swallowed heavily as he averted his gaze ever so slightly. "Then… I hope you'll pardon the suggestion, but it might be best for you to leave as soon as possible."

Conis, meanwhile, averted her gaze much more overtly, refusing to meet any of our eyes as she bit into her lower lip. And she wasn't alone either, as Su had sunk her fangs into the tip of her tail and was glaring daggers at nothing. The silence went on for a minute before Nami broke it.

"Why are you hesitating so much? It's not like we're going to tell anyone anything you tell us that could get you in trouble."

At that point, all three of them winced visibly, Pagaya and Conis in fear and Su in rapidly mounting fury.

"P-pardon our reaction, it's just—!" Pagaya started to hedge before Conis cut in.

"W-we can't say anything," Conis grit out reluctantly, fear coating her voice. "God can hear us everywhere, and if he hears us—!"

"Conis!" Pagaya interrupted, cold sweat coating his brow.

"God?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow, but Soundbite cut in before he could say anything else.

"THERE'S ONLY ONE omniscient eavesdropper in the world, AND THAT'S ME!" he spat out viciously before gritting his teeth. "Gastro-SCRAMBLE!"

I tensed as the sound of white noise filled the air, buzzing like a thousand untuned television sets. "Soundbite… what did you just do?"

"I TUNED OUT any unwanted visitors!" Soundbite ground out darkly. "Anyone tries to LISTEN IN, they ain't hearing JACK!"

"Y-you what!?" Conis yelped, her eyes wide with panic. "No no no no, Soundbite, you can't! I-If God Enel notices—!"

"GOD!?" Usopp and Carue yelped fearfully, visibly freaked out.

"Soundbite, Conis is right, that was not the best decision to make," Robin nodded in concern, having strode over to the window where she was keeping a careful eye on the surroundings. "If this 'God' individual really was listening to us, then the sudden loss of that ability will be as damaging as anything that could be said."

"Yeah, but now the great lightning bastard can't hear us anymore, right?"

"Su!" Conis shrieked in panic.

"No, Conis!" Su snarled, arching her back as her fur fluffed out in outrage. "I've been silent my entire life, I've been docile, but now that I have a chance to speak and he can't hear anything, I'm going to say the exact thing that you and everyone on Angel Beach has been thinking for the past six years: Enel is an evil, selfish, raging BASTARD!"

The mood in the room instantly flipped from tense to electric… though thankfully only in the metaphorical sense. Despite how much we waited and listened, ultimately nothing came of the statement other than Conis and Pagaya looking like they were about to have heart attacks.

"Well, now that that's settled," Su snorted before leaping onto the table and staring straight at Luffy. "You! I saw the emblem on your flag: a skull and crossbones. And combined with that…" She moved her gaze upwards slightly, glancing at Luffy's hat for a moment before refocusing. "You guys are all pirates, right?"

Luffy blinked in surprise before grinning eagerly. "Yup! And I'm the man who's going to be the King of the Pirates!"

"Su, please—!" Conis started.

"If he could still hear us, we'd already be dead," the fox said dryly without ever shifting her attention from Luffy. "And you. I'm assuming that that claim of yours means that you're all strong pirates, right?"

I weighed the pros and cons of this whole scenario before reaching a decision. That is to say, deciding 'fuck it, let's see where this takes us.' "We've beaten anyone who's crossed us. It wasn't always easy, but there's only one enemy we came across that was actually good enough to beat us, and we beat him, too, in the end. And he was world-class, to boot."

"World-class?" Luffy asked, frowning. "If Crocodile's as strong as they're going to get—"

"He isn't," I cut him off flatly. "Granted, you probably only beat him because he underestimated you too much as a rookie and his own pride butted in, but you managing to beat him at any level was still damn impressive, so yes," I directed the next bit at Su. "We're very strong."

Su was silent for a moment before nodding firmly. "Then in that case, I have a request to make, and it's a big one."

"Su, p-pardon me, but you can't—!" Pagaya started.

"Watch me," Su shot back before pouncing to a position where she could look at all of us at once. "This is going to sound dangerously insane, but at this point, I don't see any other options." Su spread her legs and bowed her head solemnly. "Please, help overthrow God Enel and free us from his tyranny!"

The words sank in for a moment, and then we reacted like mature, reasonable—oh, wait, I already did that joke.

"EEEEEEEEEEHHH?"

"SU!" Conis burst out in horror, jumping to her feet. "Y-you can't just ask anyone who comes to us to die for our sakes!"

"No, that's where you're wrong, Conis!" Su shot back as she leaped forward and glared up at her owner. "What I can't do is just stay silent and not do anything I can after watching you and your dad suffer for six years! Six years, Conis! Six years where I haven't been able to say anything, where I've been forced to watch as person after person came through this beach and died! Well, now I can finally speak, and I'm going to take this opportunity to do the one thing nobody has dared to do in a long time, despite how much they've wanted to: ask for help!"

Conis was trembling, visibly conflicted. "I… I'm not—"

"Why would you want us to overthrow your god, and what do you mean by tyranny?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, I think we're missing some rather crucial context here!" I concurred. "Look, when you call this Enel person 'God'—?"

"He's not actually a god!" Su interrupted hotly. "That's just the title the people here call their ruler, but it went straight to Enel's head when he took over!" She snapped her gaze to Pagaya. "Come on, klutzy, tell them! We'd have fried ten times over if he could actually hear us, so we're in the clear!"

Pagaya visibly hesitated for a moment before sighing and hanging his head in defeat. "Six years ago, God Enel and the men he calls his priests invaded our land of Skypiea," he recited sadly. "Enel and his acolytes defeated the army of the old God and banished him before taking his place. Since then… Enel has ruled over Skypiea with an iron fist."

Conis desperately swapped her gaze between her father and her pet for a moment before the energy seemed to flow out of her, sinking into her seat with her face buried in her hands. "He can always hear us, no matter where we are," she croaked miserably. "He makes us guide all criminals we find to the God's Land, Upper Yard, where they are then hunted and killed for his amusement by his priests. And… should anyone say anything or try to protest in any manner…" Conis choked back a sob. "Then they are… put to death!" And with that, Conis broke down, sobbing miserably in spite of Pagaya doing his best to comfort her.

Su stared at her solemnly for a moment before slowly turning her gaze back to us. "I've had to watch this for six years. Had to watch as this bastard made the closest friend I have in life send people off to die with a smile. And I can't watch it for a second longer. Unless something is done…" Su bowed her head solemnly. "Over twenty years ago, another pirate crew came here, a fantastically strong one, whose leader was righteous. I didn't see him, but my parents and all the other animals who were alive then still speak of him to this day. We animals are the only ones brave enough to say anything because Enel has never paid direct attention to us, and this is the only chance I'll have to say anything at all. You're… You're our last chance. So please…"

Tears, previously hidden by the pure white fur, dripped to the tabletop.

"Help us…"

Unsurprisingly, the crew as a whole was angry. Usopp and Carue seemed partly panicked as well, judging from their shaking legs, but their expressions were too dark to tell. Sanji, in particular, looked ready to explode, but three faces held far darker expressions than his. Nami seemed to be flashing back to her time with Arlong, rage overtaking any possibility of fear; she was already absentmindedly reaching for the pieces of her Clima-Tact. Vivi was similarly furious, no doubt enraged at hearing how a ruler, no matter how despotic, could treat his people so cruelly; one hand gripped into a fist on her thigh, and the other wandered to her neck and fumbled with that necklace she'd been wearing since we'd left Alubarna. And Luffy…

"Guys, I've decided," he said, getting to his feet and dropping the bit of meat he'd been holding, his hat casting a shadow over his blazing eyes. "We're going to kick this god-guy's ass."

"Not that I'm objecting, Mister Captain, but what made you decide that? If I recall, despite the tragedies in Alabasta, your only motivation was the princess," Robin said, earning a glare from Vivi that died upon seeing the fire in Robin's eyes. Still, she prepared to say something…

"Because she's our friend."

When I interrupted, not looking up from where I was sitting, hunched forward with my elbows on my knees, and my hands clasped between my legs.

"She greeted us warmly, she invited us into her home, she let us eat her food…" I recited matter-of-factly. "This might not seem like a lot, but Conis is our friend, and personally, if I willingly left a friend in these kinds of conditions without doing something, anything to help?" I shot a firm warning look at Robin. "Then I honestly wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"What Cross said," Luffy growled, breathing out steam from his nostrils.

"Well, looks like the captain has made up his mind," Zoro remarked, grinning menacingly. "So, Conis, how do we get to this 'Upper Yard' place?"

"W-what!?" Conis yelped desperately. "N-no, no! Please, I know what Su said, but—!"

"Conis," Vivi cut in, visibly wrestling with her temper as she landed a hand on the angel's shoulder. "Trust me, trying to fight this is a wholly futile endeavour. We are trying and doing it because we want to. Rather than opposing us, you should be helping us find the best way to reach God."

"Besides," Nami drawled, spinning one of her staff's segments between her fingers absentmindedly. "This isn't the first experience we've had like this; whenever Luffy sets his mind to something, no amount of reasoning can make him abandon that course of action. The difference this time, however—" She suddenly clenched the bar of metal in a vein-popping death grip. "Is that we're all in agreement?" She then looked at Conis, her eyes softening significantly. "So, please. How do we do this?"

Conis chewed her lip hesitantly as she weighed our words, looking down at where Su had laid her paw on her knee.

"Tell them, Conis," Su whispered. "Please."

Conis hiccuped as she looked at Su, before finally sighing and digging through her shirt and withdrawing a shell-shaped whistle. "…There are three ways to get there, and considering that you're wanted criminals already, two of them are immediately accessible, and both guarantee that Enel won't strike you down. Immediately, at any rate…"

"Heyso!"

We jumped as a chorus of voices came from outside.

"The hell—?" Nami started as she glanced towards the door.

"Oh, damn it…" I ground out as I clawed at my face. Now? Really? I mean, I knew they meant well, but their timing could not have been worse.

…But, then again, we did need to commit a higher crime to really sell this whole thing, so…

"We've received word that no fewer than nine illegal entrants from the Blue Sea have—"

"Gastro-Phony," I bit out. I waited for a moment as the voice outside fell silent before looking around with a slightly desperate expression. "Alright, let's make this fast, before they clean themselves up and return with reinforcements."

"C-clean—? What did you—?"

"Let's just say you're going to need to wipe your front… everywhere, and leave it at that, please."

---

I breathed out a heavy breath as I leaned on the balcony of the house, gazing out at the Merry floating off the coast of the beach. "Alright, we're ready on our end, as far as we can be. You guys?"

"Unhappy about having to ride the all-too-literal express route twice in the same day, but other than that?" I could just about see Nami nod on the deck of our ship. "We're ready. Good luck, Cross."

"You too, guys," I muttered before jerking my hand across my neck. I then glanced over at Conis and gave her a nod. "Do it."

Conis nodded hesitantly. "A-alright then…" And with that, she brought the whistle to her mouth and blew.

Moments later, the sea-clouds of the White-White Sea started shifting, then bubbling, then outright churning until finally—

SPLOOSH!

—they erupted, disgorging a stupidly massive shrimp that snatched up the Going Merry and all the occupants onboard before turning around and tearing through the water. Not blindingly fast, mind you; fast, sure, but only just so fast that it was uncatchable. There was plenty of time to watch it leave, to confirm that one's friends weren't just gone, but taken too.

I watched after the Merry for as long as I could before turning around and clasping my hands together. "Alright, they're gone. Now it's our turn." I grinned savagely. "Who's ready to defile some sacred soil?"

Luffy grinned as he slammed his knuckles together. "Alright!"

Sanji scoffed as he lit his cigarette and blew out a heavy cloud of smoke. "Sacred or damned, I would storm any soil for the sake of my angels, new and constant alike."

"Maybe we'll see if I got anything out of that death-duel Zoro considered a spar," Leo muttered, Donny putting a sympathizing flipper on his shoulder.

"Eh, just wake me up when it's time to fight," Lassoo yawned as he cracked his neck back and forth.

"Truly a slothful one, isn't he?" Isaiah noted.

"No kidding—wait, what are you doing here?" Sanji asked the bird currently perched on his shoulder.

"Terry and I were barely within the snail's range already, and while he was more inclined to stay onboard the ship with Zoro, considering himself, and I quote, 'powerful enough to go without speaking until the others get back,' I'd prefer to keep my voice… and, for that matter, spend some time away from that Bear-Glove neanderthal."

Sanji considered that for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Fair enough. Well, let's get going. Soundbite, cut it."

Once Soundbite cut the Gastro-Scramble—great name, by the way, I should have thought of it myself—Conis and Pagaya put on a show of explaining how dangerous it was to have attacked the White Berets, and saying our crew had been taken to Upper Yard to be offered as tribute. Of course, Robin and I had organized beforehand who would go which direction, and I trusted her to leave enough fighters onboard to deal with Shura when he showed up. I had picked up my armour and stashed the Impact and Flash Dials in my pockets before they left, but I'd reluctantly left the transceiver onboard; disappointing though it was, the next SBS could wait until after the first day of battles, right about when we started the party with the cloud wolves. As it was, best not to have a big-ass bag hanging off of me when I had other options, especially when said bag had all of those notes in it; if that fell into the hands of anyone loyal to Enel, we'd be screwed. Pagaya and Su came with us as Conis escorted us through the island, past Lovely Street, and to the Little Crow. Luffy's reaction was predictable… and I'll be honest, I was inclined to agree with him.

"You really sure we can't ride the big badass bull?" I griped miserably.

"Pardon us, but we simply don't have the extols to rent it for you," Pagaya shrugged before pausing thoughtfully. "Well, maybe if you had another jar of vearth…?"

I froze as I contemplated the consequences of that course of action. "Yeah, no, I'd really rather not push my luck with Nami; I fear the wrath she can bring about over those trees more than I fear anyone or thing on these seas."

"That bad, huh?" Su noted from where she was clinging to Conis's back, where her harp usually was.

"I HAVE HAD one leaf off of those trees THE ENTIRE TIME I've been on that ship…" Soundbite stated morosely before shuddering heavily. "NEVER AGAIN!"

"Well, you should all be able to fit on the Crow, at least, and the engine works perfectly; Father repaired it only a few days ago," Conis said, smiling lightly.

We all returned that smile as we mounted the Crow, getting a quick crash course in how to run the dial-engine before we were finally ready to go.

"Well, we're setting off," I announced. "Try and fix up our Waver while we're gone, would you? We'll definitely be back for it."

"A-absolutely," Pagaya said, not needing to fake the uncertainty in his voice.

"Don't worry about us, old guy, we'll be fine!" Luffy said cheerily.

"I don't intend to keep our three beautiful ladies waiting for too long," Sanji agreed smoothly.

"Doesn't he mean four?" Donny whispered.

"You know Raphey doesn't call herself a lady," Leo whispered back. "Plus, not humanoid, probably a gray area."

CLONK-CLONK!

"SILENCE FROM THE EMERGENCY FOOD SUPPLIES!" Sanji roared.

"Yes, sir…" the dugongs groaned as they cradled their bruised skulls.

Conis was silent throughout the farewells, maintaining the same solemn silence she'd been keeping since our venture had started…

Before finally, she let herself smile, ever so slightly.

"Good luck," she whispered, almost too faintly for us to hear.

It was at that point that the world grew dark and the sky lit up.

There was no warning, no sign, not even so much as an inkling. Just a lot of light and the reek of ozone.

Time seemed to slow as I turned my gaze upwards, taking in the… well… the act of fucking God taking place above me. "No..." I breathed numbly.

After that, several things happened at once: a roar of rage, a blast of steam, a blur of red, and a mass slamming into my midsection and bowling me over.

I had just enough time to process the fact that a dazed Conis and Su were lying on top of me and catch sight of a lobster-red Luffy grabbing a yet-shellshocked Pagaya—

ZEE-RACK!

Before the sky ripped itself apart.

Here's a tip: it's not a good idea to be directly next to a bolt of lightning when it hits the ground. Even less so when said bolt of lightning is about the size of an F5 vortex, and even less yet when you happen to be in a boat, on the water, which isn't anchored.

This is the situation that I found myself in when the 'almighty' Enel decided to smite Conis for her minute show of infidelity. The fact that she and Su were safe beside me was some consolation, but I was hoping beyond all hope that the previous God had chosen to intervene on our behalf in this case, or else. Because, as it was, Conis had fallen on her hands and knees and was staring at the crater where her father had been with a rapidly paling face.

Or at least, that's what I think she was doing. I couldn't be sure, because unlike my superhuman-by-default crewmates who had been born in this world, I was experiencing the logical outcome of seeing that much lightning and hearing the resulting thunder at point-blank distance: becoming temporarily (I hoped) blind, deaf and, apart from the occasional 'mawp', very dumb.

Thankfully, my time here had done the trick because I did get my senses back rather fast.

Unfortunately, I got them back just in time to have a faceful of flung-Luffy bowl me over once anew.

"Do not fear! I, the sky knight Gan Fall, have saved them!" Gan Fall (duh) called out confidently as he helped Pagaya onto a seat behind him on Pierre before directing his mount to flap closer to us. "Quickly now, help the girl on before—!"

ZAP!

"GAH!" Pierre squawked in terror, barely managing to avoid a relatively normalish bolt of lightning that almost hit him.

I cursed vehemently as I glanced up at the sky before shaking my head at Gan Fall. "No good! She's already onboard, Enel's not going to let her go! Look, just," I waved my hand frantically. "Get out of here, take Pagaya and go! We'll look after her, she'll be safe with us, I promise!"

Gan Fall hesitated for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Very well, then! May luck be with you, good travellers! You shall need it!"

"Conis…" Pagaya said worriedly.

"Don't worry, klutzy!" Su piped up. "These guys are strong enough to keep us safe. Besides, I'd sort of like a piece of the action."

"BE CAREFUL YOU don't bite off MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW, foxy!" Soundbite taunted eagerly.

"Why dontcha get in my mouth and see just how much I can chew, slimeball?" Su retorted playfully.

"Su…" Conis muttered before shaking her head and looking back at her father. "But she's right! I'll be safe with them, Father, and you know that I can take care of myself."

Pagaya hesitated for a moment before nodding reluctantly, and with that, Pierre flew off towards Gan Fall's sanctuary.

We stared after them for a moment before I snapped my fingers at Donny and Leo, prompting them to get the Dial-engine running and us sailing towards the largest of the Milky Roads. It was only as we started to climb the hill that I turned towards Luffy, finally processing how he'd saved Conis. "You've worked out Second Gear already…" I breathed in awe.

Luffy grumbled as he dusted his hat off and inspected it for damage before placing it on his head. "Well… sorta. It's not done yet. I can't keep my blood going for that long and, well… it still feels incomplete. So, for now… Gear One and a Half."

"Gear One Point Five sounds better," Lassoo suggested.

"Or that."

"Still, I didn't expect you to work that out for at least another month," I said weakly, before thinking about it more. "So, that's what you were doing back on Jaya… well, once we get back together with the rest of the crew, talk to Chopper about it; great technique though it is, it's still straining your body. Better to work out the kinks before we fight someone who's actually dangerous to you."

Judging from the way Sanji's eyes widened, he figured out the hidden meaning in my words, and he promptly did the one best thing he could have in this situation: he grinned, spun onto his knees before Conis, and took her hand. "Conis, O most beautiful of Angels in the heavens, I vow that I shall most definitely keep you safe," he asserted.

"…Thank you, for saving me… but…" Conis managed to smile before turning her attention towards the approaching crest of the hill. "I hope you're right about how strong you all are, for all of our sakes. Because now…"

I followed her gaze as we mounted the top of the road, and caught sight of what lay before us: a green hell embedded in a sea of white. Trees more massive than any I'd ever seen before, hiding enough death and destruction in their shadows to match Little Garden with ease, while also cradling the hopes and dreams of two entire civilizations.

"…the trials of Upper Yard await."

---

One conversation and round of introductions later, in which I couldn't be sure whether or not Kamakiri reacted to me mentioning Cricket's full name (those goggles did wonders for his poker face), the five Shandians rushed off to rejoin their fellows. Here's hoping that staying with us didn't cost them too much, though, considering the fact that two of the three priests they were facing were exhausted, and the last one was… well, Gedatsu, terminator-esque bastard that he was, I had my doubts that they could be in too much trouble.

After they left, Sanji accelerated, and aside from one or two run-ins with wildlife and wild rides (which, naturally, half of the boat's inhabitants thoroughly enjoyed, myself included), the rest of the journey went the way it was supposed to: without conflict or combat crossing our paths. Finally, we reached the edge of the forest.

"Soundbite, heartbeat count in the area?" I asked tentatively, resolutely not facing ahead.

"Mmm… THIRTEEN. Our crew, GAN FALL, and the pony-bird."

I didn't even react to the jab at Pierre; that was half of my worries eased, but the more pressing one still remained. So, steeling myself, I slowly looked out at the inlet to see the sacrificial altar erected in its center and… the equally high pile of bodies next to it!?

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" I bellowed incredulously as I stared up at the pile. Where the hell—!? Wait, were those—those were freaking Sky Sharks!

As if in response, the bodies at the top of the pile started shifting around until a very familiar figure appeared over the edge of the peak.

"Hey, Cap'n, boys!" Boss waved at us eagerly, looking slightly banged up on account of the thick but still clearly bloody bandage wrapped around his chest. "You finally made it! Glad to see you're alright!"

Leo and Donny's jaws hit the bottom of the deck as they stared upwards.

"We will never be as truly awesome as he is, will we?" Leo asked weakly.

"Signs point to nope," Donny concurred with a minor whimper.

I gaped in awe as I tried to process what I was seeing. "Boss… what…" I gestured at him weakly. "What the absolute hell!? What the heck brought this on!?"

Boss's cheerful demeanour evaporated like an ice cube in hell, scowling as he folded his tail and sat on the pile. I blinked in confusion as the pile seemed to shiver before letting out a gurgle of realization: the sharks he was sitting on were neither dead nor unconscious; they were fully conscious but too scared out of their bruised skulls to move a fin and risk Boss's ire!

"This," Boss rapped his fist on the shark he was sitting on, causing another ripple of twitches. "Is the end result of me working out my shame and frustration." The dugong burned through a third of his cigar in a huff and blew out an evil-looking cloud of smoke through grit teeth. "I lost, and I don't. Like. Losing."

"WHAT!?"

"ACK!" I yelped as Sanji bodily shoved his way past me in order to glare up at the dugong.

"You'd better not have let any harm come to the lovely ladies of our crew, you shitty-dugong!" the cook bellowed, looking to be a few degrees Celsius away from bursting into flames again.

Boss snorted and waved his flipper dismissively. "Oh, calm your tits, Sanji. Robin could handle ten of me at once, and Vivi and Nami, soft though they are, were trained under my boys. Even if they had been here, which they weren't, they'd have been fine." Boss grimaced and shook his head. "No, no, nothing happened to them. If there's anything I'm ashamed about, it's what I let happen to the Merry."

I felt as though a surge of ice had been shot into my veins. "What happened to the Merry, Boss!?"

Boss's cigar twitched in his mouth before he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder with a sigh.

I followed his thumb to the Merry and blinked in surprise. It… wasn't as good as I'd hoped, but much better than what I'd feared. The mast was still scorched and blackened, but overall it looked superficial, as did the scorched and charred scratches adorning her hull. Aside from Boss, the rest of the crew was busily stringing up the spare sailcloth, so that probably got burned, too. Unfortunately, the keel was obscured by sea cloud, so I'd have to ask Merry later tonight, assuming she did manifest the Klabautermann again. And considering the severity of her injuries and the fact that even with extra help, Usopp was struggling to patch her up, that occurrence appeared to be a foregone conclusion.

But as I said, it wasn't that bad, so—

"IT'S YOU!"

Terry's shout was matched by Isaiah's smug yet elegant grin. "It's me," he taunted. "Did you miss my magnificent presence that much?"

"ALL I MISSED WAS MY VOICE FULL OF POWEEEER!" Terry shouted, somehow managing to flex his muscles while staying in the air. "YOU, I CAN DO WITHOUT! AFTER ALL, ONLY A BLIND MAN DENIES THE AWESOME POWER OF BEAR GLOOOVE!"

"And yet Swagger remains the uncontested superior of the two."

"BEAR GLOVE!"

"Swagger."

"BEAR GLOVE!"

"You do know the definition of insanity, right?"

"BEAR GLOVE!"

"Shishishi, I love these two!" Luffy snickered.

"Yeah," Lassoo grinned as he watched my eye twitch. "There are always two shows at the price of one."

I, for one, grimaced miserably as I stared at the pile of sharks. "I wonder if I can convince one of those things to eat me…" I wondered ruefully.

"I imagine that many employees of the World Government would pay dearly to find a way to make that happen, Cross."

I jerked my gaze back up at the Merry, where one ultra-wanted archaeologist was grinning down at me. "Robin. Glad to see that most of the affairs on this end went off without a hitch. Mind telling me just what the heck happened?!"

Robin chuckled lightly, almost certainly at my annoyed tone, before pointing at a section of the shoreline. "I would suggest that you dock over there, Mister Jeremiah, and we will join you shortly. We have quite a bit to discuss."

And indeed we did. After Nami had given us an earful about Upper Yard being the missing half of Jaya—if I had to guess, I'd say she was both amazed and annoyed by the fact that the Grand Line could rearrange geography at the drop of a hat like that—we got details on what had happened to the Merry.

As in the manga, the 'captured' group had decided to split up and explore the jungle for a bit, in order to discover some of the mysteries the trees held. In addition to Robin, Zoro, and Nami, Raphey, Mikey, Terry, Carue, and Vivi had also gone along for the chance at an adventure, while Usopp and Chopper stayed behind to watch over the Merry, and Boss stayed behind to watch over them. Things had gone on quite peacefully for a bit…

Until Shura happened.

In all fairness to the ship's guard, they'd actually managed to put up a damn decent fight against the bastard. In fact, they hadn't even blown the whistle until a minute or so into the fight because they didn't need to. Between Boss's fantastic martial arts straining Shura's Mantra, the blast radius of Chopper's Cherry Blossom Blasts, and the sheer miracle quality that Usopp's sniping held, they might have actually run him off.

Sadly, the decision had been taken out of their hands once Shura had started attacking the one crewmate present who couldn't defend themselves: the Going Merry herself. Boss had apparently managed to save her mast by using a Sky Shark as a living bucket with which to splash sea clouds on the flames, but a few flaming scratches later, he'd willingly blown the whistle himself.

Credit to the Sky Knight, he'd arrived in minutes. And once he'd arrived, the tables turned fast. Between his own skills and Pierre providing Boss the mobility he needed to keep up with Fuza? They had the so-called Sky Rider on the ropes. And they would have knocked him clear out of the ring, too!

Were it not for the fact that Shura decided to remind them both that they were fighting on his turf. Damn String Dials… I made a note during the conversation to comb the landscape around the altar at the nearest opportunity, because ten to one said that all of the priests had specialized Cloud Dials hidden nearby. I'd already let them abuse a home-field advantage once by forgetting to warn the team to check their surroundings before, I wasn't going to let it happen a second time.

Sadly, once Shura had them caught up in his strings, then he had them full-stop. A cauterized thrust clean through Gan Fall's chest that he was stupidly lucky to have lived through, as well as a 2-inch deep penetration through the belly of Boss's shell. It wasn't much, but combined with an almost 600-foot drop, it was still enough to stun him. And on top of that, he'd spent the time before Shura's arrival using the Sky Sharks as punching bags, so they'd wanted a bit of revenge, too. Thankfully, the delay-and-acceleration of events worked in their favor where it hindered us: when the Shandians invaded, Shura elected to leave, survivors or no.

On the lighter side, thanks to his instinctively amped intelligence, Chopper had the wherewithal not to throw himself into the bay to try and save his drowning allies. Of course, his hyper-logical mind instead prompted him to throw in someone else who could swim to fish the three out.

And really, when you were drowning in shark-laden waters with unnatural holes in your body, Usopp was one of the absolute last people you wanted to have attempting to save you.

After that, things had gone as normal: the Giant South Birds proved themselves to be far more hospitable than their Blue Sea counterparts, Boss had displayed his still-strong vigor by unleashing holy hell on the Sky Sharks that had tried to eat him, and then the away team had returned and started to help the guards repair the Merry. The rest was history.

"And did everything go as well as you hoped on your end, Cross?" Vivi asked as they finished, night having fallen and Sanji halfway through preparing a large pot of soup.

"Ugh… yes and no," I groused.

"The first shitty priest that we met, Satori, I think, was a complete wimp. All he had going for him was that Mantra ability, and since Cross knew its weaknesses, he and Lassoo did most of the work, and then Luffy finished him off," Sanji said.

"But Ohm was no pushover; Sanji got pushed to his limit, and right as Luffy got us the advantage we needed to turn the tables in our favour, the Shandians invaded, and Ohm pulled a last resort out of the ground while he escaped," Lassoo growled darkly. "We almost lost our heads to it, and could've lost a lot more."

"Eesh, sounds rough," Nami winced sympathetically. "How did you survive?"

I made to answer and then stiffened as I felt something sharp press into the small of my back. "Blind luck," I enunciated carefully. I then allowed myself to relax as the sharpness was removed; a wild guess said that Leo thought that Zoro was too close for his comfort, and I wasn't willing to test him on it.

Whether they saw the Dugong's actions or not, everyone shrugged in acceptance. From there, it was a normal night with our crew: the injured trained as though they were invincible, the lazy slacked off as though they could get away with it, and the rest of us (me in particular) did whatever we wanted to pass the time between chores. I, for one, chose to kick back with a good fantasy book and make some progress into the reading. Honestly, one would think that a fantasy book in a world as fantastic as the Blue Seas would be somewhat… creatively stagnant, merely rehashing reality, but no, they actually had some damn decent authors.

Gan Fall woke up much earlier than I had expected, probably due to Chopper's advanced medical capabilities, and the reindeer had filled him in on the situation while we waited for Sanji to finish the soup. Following that, as we enjoyed another fine spectacle of Sanji's cooking, Nami finished her drawing and informed us of exactly what the land we were on was, and the knowledge of the City of Gold waiting for us elsewhere on the island. Spirits were high, but just as we were finishing our meals…

"The SHANDIANS are here."

Everyone was immediately on their guard at Soundbite's announcement, turning their eyes towards where he indicated. No movement or sound came for a few seconds.

"We're open for negotiations; we won't attack if you won't," Vivi called. A few seconds more, and rustling came from the treeline as three distinct figures came out and into the light. Wiper's hold on his bazooka was firm, as was his frown, but he wasn't glaring at us with as much venom this time. Kamakiri seemed to be the most at ease, though one hand was staying close to his Burn Blade. And alongside them was the black-haired female commander of the Shandians, Laki, arguably the most reasonable among all of them, though the fact that she was holding her rifle close to her chest showed that she wasn't unprepared either. I couldn't say I was surprised at those three; the strongest warrior and the two most reasonable commanders among the Shandians was pretty much what I expected. What I didn't expect, however, was to see a girl in a light brown dress with brown hair visible beneath her cloth cap and a Burn Blade in one hand piggybacking on Laki's shoulders.

"I take it you recruit young?" I commented weakly, in spite of the warning glare Vivi sent at me the moment I opened my mouth. "Sorry if that's an inappropriate question, it's just that she seems a bit… out of place with you, is all."

Wiper glared at me for a second before jerking his chin at Conis with a grunt, causing her to flinch back fearfully. "The same could be said of the Skypiean fraternizing with a group of Blue Sea Dwellers that are here to dethrone her god."

I hastily stuck my hand out against Sanji as he bit into his cigarette and made to kick the Shandian's head in. He would have forced his way past me to do it, too, if not for some… divine intervention.

"Enel is not her people's god, Wiper."

All attention snapped over to the wounded Sky Knight, who was sitting up on his makeshift bed and panting heavily as he held a hand to his wound. Despite his obvious infirmity, he still managed to pin Wiper with an impressively stern glare.

"No more than he is mine. Or yours, for that matter," the old man stated firmly.

Wiper bristled visibly as he noticed the fallen god, while Kamakiri and Laki elected to step back warily. "Gan Fall—" the Berserker started to snarl.

"Save your insults, Wiper," Gan Fall spat out with more venom than I thought was physically possible for someone like him. "I was willing to humour your reckless attitude back in the day because you were a hotheaded youth and we still had time, but that is not the case at this point!"

The old man emphasized his point by ramming his fist into the tree trunk he was leaning against—the bark just splintered! Re-note to self: age equals badass around here, a few exceptions.

Leaning on Pierre for support, the bird having shifted to his pegasus form for more stability, Gan Fall slowly got to his feet and paced over to Wiper, glaring at him. "She is here for the same reason these Blue Sea Dwellers are here, the same reason you are here and, as of now, the same reason that I am here: to overthrow Enel's tyranny. Now, I am prepared to do whatever I must to help them succeed, including putting aside past enmity. But if you are not, I am quite capable of showing you that a lack of a desire to fight does not indicate a lack of ability."

The two glared at each other for several seconds until Aisa tentatively spoke up.

"He's… he's telling the truth, Wiper."

As Wiper shot a glare at the girl, I took the opportunity to cut in. "You have Mantra?" I asked.

Aisa snapped her head towards me with a panicked expression. "W-what!? H-how did you—!?"

"We have it in the Blue Seas too, just by a different name," I hastily reassured her. "Some people are able to manifest it in unusual ways, like hyper-empathy for emotions and such. At a guess, Wiper brought you here to act as a lie detector or something?"

Aisa started to scowl and nod in agreement before flinching and cowering as Wiper renewed his glare at her. "No, we brought her along because Laki and Kamakiri couldn't say no to her whining, and even if we had left her behind, she'd have just snuck here anyways," he growled out irritably. "At least this way, she's good for something."

Judging by the way Aisa jerked around from Laki and gnashed her teeth at the warrior, that was a bit too far. "Without me, you wouldn't have known that Satori had fallen, you big jerk!" she howled, emphasizing the point with a stuck-out tongue and a pulled eyelid.

"I think I like her," Su piped up.

"DITTO," Soundbite grinned.

"God—real God, if that's an actual thing—help me, this is starting to become a thing," I ground out as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"She's small, bratty, and she's riding around on someone's back," Zoro noted idly.

"I know, right?" Nami breathed in awe. "It's almost uncanny!"

"Three Aisas?" Kamakiri asked in dawning horror. "You know, I'm starting to reconsider the negotiating idea."

"I AM NOT AN ANIMAL COMPANION!" Aisa snarled.

"One of us, one of us," Su and Soundbite chanted eagerly.

"Someone please kill me…" I moaned. "Or preferably them?"

"I'm agreeing with you a bit too much for comfort, Cross…" Conis concurred as she gnawed on her thumb.

"Alright, enough!" Laki said sharply, drawing everyone's attention. She turned to Wiper and Gan Fall first. "We've had our disagreements with him in the past, but the fact that we're actually here is enough to prove that we're willing to compromise if it means reaching our goal. If that's still true, Wiper, then show it."

The berserker ground his teeth as he looked at Laki. Then, after a few seconds, he slowly turned to look at me. "Kamakiri said… that you came here with the help of a man named Montblanc Cricket. Is that true?"

"Yes. He was willing to help us because we believed in the possibility of something that sounded impossible," I explained.

"He sympathized on that note because of his past," Robin contributed, her tone purposefully careless, as though she hadn't already guessed the implications of what she was saying. "More precisely, because of his ancestor, a man who lived 400 years ago, whose outrageous stories of his adventures ultimately resulted in his execution when he showed his king to the site of a supposed city of gold, but found nothing there. The tale of Montblanc Noland the Liar has become a popular story in his home sea, and a point of indelible shame for his family."

That did it. Wiper's bazooka fell from his grip and clattered to the ground, and his jaw dropped open in horror, a reaction his companions mirrored. Damn, but I was glad that I had let Robin in on all of this.

"Noland… the Liar?" he repeated weakly. "Executed?"

I shook my head sadly as I spread my hands. "In cold blood. And to the very end, he never stopped repeating it. Over and over, he said that he'd seen a city of gold and that if it had gone missing, it must have sunken into the sea. A logical conclusion, considering the Grand Line, but…"

"But that's not what happened, is it?" Terry asked, his voice once more uncharacteristically calm as he and Isaiah swooped in from wherever they'd been listening, looking down on the Shandians from a branch. "We lived in the forest below before these guys used us to navigate to the Knock-Up Stream. And for as long as we, our parents, their parents, and their parents can remember, our job has been to protect the forest."

"The story goes that many years ago, a group of travelers were permitted to visit the island and its hidden city, Shandora," Isaiah continued. "A time after they departed, a catastrophe befell the island, when half of it shot into the sky due to the Knock-Up Stream. We have never found the island's inhabitants nor the city of Shandora since, and yet we guarded the forest with all the power we had to defend it from other intruders."

"And now we find out that the part of the island with Shandora on it is still intact… which makes you and your people the ones who live there," Terry finished.

"Our ancestors lived there," Kamakiri corrected bitterly. "We've never seen Shandora. Nobody has since the island came to the sky."

"Alright, hang on," I cut in, approaching the small group. "Let me just make sure of something here: you four are here to form an alliance with us, right?"

"You made the offer. If it still stands, then I'm all for it," Kamakiri replied neutrally.

"As am I," Laki concurred. All eyes turned to Wiper, who brushed the tears from his eyes as he looked around, his eyes lingering longest on Gan Fall. Finally, he turned to me.

"My ancestor, the great warrior Calgara, was the mightiest warrior of the Shandian tribe 400 years ago… and the outsider Montblanc Noland was his best friend."

He extended his hand to us. "If you're serious about your goal, then I accept your offer of alliance; for the sake of Calgara's final wish, and for the sake of clearing Noland's name, I will do whatever I must to bring down Enel, and light the fire of Shandora once more."

I looked at his hand and then gestured to Luffy, who came over. "I'm not the captain here. He is."

Wiper turned towards Luffy and raised a brow, but nonetheless extended his hand to the rubber man. "My name is Wiper, the strongest warrior among the Shandians."

"Monkey D. Luffy, captain of the Straw Hat Pirates," Luffy replied with equal seriousness; I guess he was still thinking back to when we met on the White Sea. But they shook, and that was that. Then Wiper turned to Gan Fall, and the latter held out a hand. Wiper regarded it coldly but ultimately grasped it as well.

"Until Enel is defeated. Then we'll see," Wiper growled.

"That will have to do," Gan Fall replied sternly.

"Alright, then," I said, clapping my hands and turning back to the others. "Robin, pen and paper, and lots of it. Everything we say will need to be written down to make sure he doesn't hear us."

"HEY! What about MY—"

"If your Gastro-Scramble can futz with Haki, Soundbite, then I think it would be better if we avoided doing it around an ally with the ability," I said dryly. The snail pouted, but nodded, and I turned back to the Shandians. "So, first things first: I'm pretty sure that our chef will insist on you having some of the soup he's made; he doesn't turn away anyone hungry, and I can guarantee that you'll love his food."

"We'll be fine, I'm sure," Wiper muttered. Not one second later, the sound of someone's stomach grumbling came from behind him, and he slowly turned to glare at Aisa again.

She reacted with a somewhat watery glare. "What!? Come on, I'm nine! I don't have a cast-iron stomach like you!" There was another stomach grumble. Wiper's glare at Aisa redoubled, but she shook her head. "That wasn't me!"

"Ah…" Kamakiri said as he raised his hand somewhat sheepishly, pointedly casting a sidelong look at the pot. "Soup… does sound good after a few hours of warfare, Wiper."

Aisa turned a very smug smirk on Wiper, who threw up his hands in exasperation. "Fine! Go on, then! I'll focus on the main reason we're here. So, Luffy, was it—?"

"YOU'VE HAD YOURS ALREADY, LUFFY!"

WHAM!

Wiper observed with a studiously neutral expression as the rubber man in question was sent rocketing out of the clearing with a single kick.

"… Gan Fall, perhaps you can tell me—"

"And STAY in bed!"

The berserker's eye twitched as he observed the spectacle of a half-pint talking mass of venison gain almost ten times his own muscle mass in an instant before forcibly ordering the former god of Skypiea into his bed, and said former god complied with a nervous expression.

"…What about you?" he said, turning to me with a borderline pleading tone.

"Oh, don't worry, Robin and I will focus on planning things out long enough to get a good plan in mind, and if anyone with a good tactical mind and decent handwriting wants to get in on it, they can feel free…" Wiper sighed in relief until I grinned cheekily. "Buuut no guarantees after that. I hope you enjoyed your last day of being a heartless warrior."

"Welcome to life with the Straw Hat Pirates. Bid your last farewells to your problems and your sanity, because they'll never come back," Soundbite quoted.

"What have you gotten us into, Kamakiri?" Wiper muttered, turning back to his comrade-in-arms… only to see said comrade missing.

"Wow… this is the most delicious soup I've ever had!"

"Yummy!"

Wiper's face fell as he observed two of the other three Shandians enjoying Sanji's soup, seemingly without a care in the world. His jaw clenched viciously, and he turned to the last Shandian warrior. "So, you're one of the last people I can turn to in this world for sanity?" he made to ask Laki…

"Oh, I absolutely love the cut on your dress! Very functional, yet fashionable! What's it made of?"

"Sea King leather, believe it or not. Every once in a while, one that gets shot up in the Knock-Up Stream actually manages to reach the White Sea, and if we catch it before it falls back down, then we get a lot of useful hide and meat."

"Wow, that sounds incredible! Back on Angel Beach, we're all pretty much relegated to these uniforms we spin from Cloud Sheep wool. We've worked it out so that it's not all that itchy, but there's just no style to it…"

"Say, have either of you ever felt silk before? It's absolutely amazing, I have a few dresses I can show you back on the Merry!"

"Oh, that sounds amazing!"

"Thank you, I'd like that!"

Wiper's whole body seemed to jerk as he watched Vivi, Laki and Conis walk to the Merry, chatting like long-time girlfriends.

"...to hell with it," he ultimately growled, apparently deciding that the fight for his sanity just wasn't worth it before stalking over to where Zoro and Nami were splitting a bottle of the latter's grog. "You got any more of that?"

Zoro snorted in derision and took another swig. "Right, because you actually have half a chance at keeping up with us."

Wiper stiffened for a moment before lashing his hand out, snatching the bottle from Nami and draining it in a few swift gulps. Once he was done, he let out a hearty sigh before leering viciously at the first and second mates. "You call that alcohol? I've drunk Sea King piss that was stronger than this water."

"Drinking that stuff isn't macho, Wiper, it's just really stupid!"

"SHUT UP, AISA!" Wiper roared. As he was turning back to the two, however, a thick and heavy glass bottle was thunked onto the tree stump they were sitting around.

"Even in the realms of real alcohol, Sea King Piss is just that: piss," Boss snorted before grinning savagely. "If you want real hair on your chest, then I'd suggest you drink some Sea King Blood. Bit of a misnomer, though, considering how it tends to melt livers."

Wiper's answering grin mirrored Zoro and Nami's. "You're on, water-rat."

Boss's response was to whip out four shot glasses and fill them with the contents, and it looked outright evil. As in, a fly flew over them and died evil. "Put up or shut up, landlubbers," the Dugong replied savagely.

I turned away as the four of them reached for their glasses. Whatever war crimes against livers everywhere they were about to commit, I wanted no part in it.

"What happened to making a plan, Cross?" Robin asked somewhat curiously, papers and pens in hand and ready to be distributed, while an extra set of hands held her soup.

"It appears that the impossible task of attempting to plan for every eventuality shall have to fall to us, my most valiant comrade," I said in the most Russian voice I could muster as I accepted my own paper and pad. "Now c'mon, let's hammer out a war strategy nice and fast. The sun's starting to go down, and we'll have to stop once it gets dark."

Robin nodded in agreement. "Yes, that's a good point. We'll need to keep our fire small in order to avoid drawing attention once night falls."

I smiled like I'd never smiled before when several members of the crew froze around us.

"Did I hear that right, Cross?" Usopp asked.

"Did she just say what I think she just said?" Boss intoned.

"I knew she must have led a sheltered life, but this is ridiculous," Zoro said.

"Alas, poor Robin," Sanji moaned.

"Sad, just sad," Luffy shook his head in disappointment.

"Now, now, my friends!" I waved my hands consolingly. "I assure you, this is entirely a case of nurture and nature gone wrong! This is a sad event indeed, but it is not her fault, of that I assure you."

Robin blinked in confusion before producing the packet of notes I'd made and sifting through it, her eyes scanning the pages, clearly wondering what she could have missed.

Apparently, Nami didn't get it either. "Wait, what the heck are you guys talking about?"

"FOOL!" Soundbite bellowed with enough ham to feed Luffy for a day. "IT IS ONLY the natural conclusion!"

"WHEN YOU CAMP, YOU CAMPFIRE, NO MATTER WHAT!" Luffy proclaimed valiantly as he fell to his knees and punched the ground.

"NO MATTER WHAT, YOU ALWAYS KEEP THE FIRE GOING, EVEN ON THE VERGE OF DEATH!" Usopp proclaimed, more conviction in his voice than I'd ever heard before. "THAT'S JUST A COLD, HARD FACT OF LIFE!"

Robin slowly closed the packet before writing something out and showing it to me: 'You knew about this, and didn't tell me because?'

I grinned and took the pen before scrawling out, 'What, and ruin the surprise? I need your help with the life-and-death stuff. You need ours with the cutting loose stuff, because justified as your attitude might be, you have a few more rods up your ass than is typically healthy.'

I couldn't be sure, but I think that her eye twitched as she read the reply. "Miss Navigator, how much of an exercise in futility would it be to attempt to talk them out of this?"

"Not enough to keep me from trying!" Nami spat as she slammed her freshly drained glass on the stump. "Do you morons not realize that we're in the middle of enemy territory here?! We need to keep a low profile or—"

"Hey, Captain, does this look like enough wood?" Raphey asked as she leaned against the stupidly huge pillar of wood she'd assembled with Leo's help.

"Nicely done, my most faithful students!" Boss proclaimed proudly.

"DO YOU MORONS JUST LISTEN TO EVERY OTHER WORD I SAY!?" the navigator shrieked.

"Of course, we listen to you, hence how we know that you're spouting nonsense," I scoffed.

"He's right, you know," Lassoo snickered. "Enel's probably listening to us right now and hearing us make a pact with the Shandians, the Sky Knight, and one Skypiean to take him down tomorrow. Low profile? That ship has sailed, fired upon the land, and then burned the land's flag."

Nami opened her mouth and then hung her head. "Well, I can't argue with that… well, what about the local wildlife?!" she rallied quickly.

"ARE YOU really asking that?" Soundbite sniffed in offence, turning pointedly in the direction of several pairs of eyes looking out at us from the forest. "COME OUT already!"

Everyone present aside from myself stiffened as a pack of wolves complied with Soundbite's instructions, and the leader, a scar over one of his eyes, spoke up.

"'Ey, jerk-wads, youse all're bein' way too lou—huh?"

I stared at the confused canine for a moment before shaking my head firmly. "Right, a Fonz-voiced wolf is apparently my final limit." I raised my hand. "CHECK, PLEASE!"

"Dream on," Soundbite drawled.