Hey, Kid.
Hey, Folks.
I hope that you all have been well in my absence.
My grandmother's funeral services were beautiful.
She was loved by many people, and I wish I could have had a deeper relationship with her.
I learned a lot about my... OUR family in the past couple of weeks, Kid.
So many weird facts that I would have never imagined as accurate.
I'll share a few:
- She was one of the first Black Stewardesses in the days when such things were unheard of.
- She dated and married a White man during the peak of racism.
- She wore a defibrillator vest! Hell, I had no idea that was a thing that existed!
- She took nearly ten years to get her passport, just to never use it. I am not sure if that was due to not wanting to or never getting the chance.
Hmm.
- She loved to dress up for holidays. Halloween seemed to be her favorite. She was a Genie. A Clown. A Mime.
Hmm.
I wonder which one was her favorite?
Did she buy them? Make them?
Her obituary had several typos.
I didn't like that at all.
I know that it may not matter to some, but it really bothered me.
The funeral home should have taken its time and made sure that all of the details were seen too...
How dare they...
We all met and honored her at the same funeral home that I was at not so long ago for my uncle.
She sat in the front row and listened to the sermon for his passing...
Suddenly, we were there with HER in the casket...
Life is strange that way, you know?
I didn't know how to feel.
I wasn't very close to her.
I didn't know anything about her.
Hmm.
I grieved the loss, but there was simply no connection for me to feel or mourn beyond the loss of a human life and the pain that my family felt.
You want to know something else weird?
I didn't know nearly 90% of the people where mourned around me.
So many foreign yet slightly familiar faces.
It was jarring.
It always is.
That will never change.
I didn't grow up with those people.
They don't know me.
My story.
I don't know them or theirs.
Hmm, and hmm. again.
I told them before -and again this time- that I would have been with them in my childhood, maybe had my mother not threatened to beat me senseless daily until I was granted that leave by the judge...
They laughed.
One of them even said.
"I would have taken those beatings!"
Such a lack of empathy is wild and incomprehensible to me, you know?
That's enough Ivy history for now!
Let's go see what I was up to in the past, yeah?
Probably not as interesting, but I can't change much about that!
See you back here soon enough, yeah?
Enjoy!
(You know something, Kid? One day you'll inherit the Slappery-Slappish-Slappington 3000.1! Just make sure that you absolutely never, ever, EVER-!----)
-----
May 26th, 2022.
-----
Dear You.
Maturing and being mature is so hard.
You have to be mature to really love someone.
It is so much deeper than we ever really know,
Typically till it is too late...
Please.
Please be careful, Kid...
Love is...
Amazing.
Scary.
Tough.
Love is letting your life and someone else's overlap and slowly meld together.
That takes a lot.
A lot.
Talk to me.
Your Mum.
Listen to your red flags.
They are real.
Don't waste your time and energy, Kid.
Believe me.
-Dad.
-----
(-Splorps back into 2026.- Sorry, Kid... I have no idea what I was about to say...)
Hmm.
Maturing isn't hard.
Being with someone who refuses to compromise or grow with you is.
Love should never be scary or tough.
It should never be intimidating.
Love should feel good.
All of the time.
It should be glowing and warm and welcoming.
Don't let anyone turn your love for them into a cage.
Meld with someone who not only loves but adores you, just be sure that you don't lose yourself, and that they don't ever require you to.
Listen to your red flags.
Seriously.
If you don't know how or if you should, just talk to me.
I don't know who your mom is, or if you will ever know her either, so I won't tell you to go ask her.
Hell, you may not even speak to ME, lmao.
I hope you find whatever answers you seek, if that is the case.
I will leave you all at that, and I hope to see you all soon back here, yeah?
I hope that life has been treating you well.
I love and appreciate all of you, and I will do my best to get all of the rest of the notes I took over the past few days up and posted here for you all.
Especially you, Kid.
Our family history is important, you know?
Knowing who you are and who/where you come from can change a LOT, believe me.
I love you.
See you back here soon, yeah?
Safe travels, Kid.
You as well, Folks.
And as always;
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
-Bluu.