I really couldn't jump, I remembered many things and most clear of them was seeing my big brother's corpse hanging by a ceiling his two legs moving like bamboo branches,
My mother who went unconscious upon seeing this scene, I just stared at the corpse and my father fell to his knees holding my brother corpse foot hanging by the ceiling,
Father cried like a little boy his tears flowed for a long time but I just kept on staring, I was too young to understand what had happened,
Later on, I learned my brother had committed suicide but I always wondered why he did do that?
Why did he kill himself?
Did he had no fear of death?
And what's more why couldn't I jump from this overhead bridge?
Because of what my parents will do when they realize that both of their sons committed suicide?
No, this was not the reason there was some other reason I don't know,
But I do have one reason why I will not jump,
I have some dept to settle,
On what basis did I Shishir do not want to jump?
As I was lost in thought,
"Big brother, can you move aside for a bit," I heard a tender and melodious voice of a little girl,
I looked at those big and cute eyes of that little girl, full of hope and joy,
She was wearing quite an expensive dress, I nodded and went down the bridge,
She was with her parents and started taking photos with them,
'What pathetic days has come, I even envy the happiness of a little child,'
I shook my head and as I kept on walking and saw a very gigantic five-star hotel,
It looked marvelous and showed how rich could people really be,
I thought does the owner even needs to work?
He has a five-star hotel in his disposal, he can ride in cars, helicopter and off course airplanes,
I have only seen helicopter and airplanes from far away,
How does it feel to fly?
It is quite laughable that plane was made 100 years ago and I still haven't ride them,
I still kept on walking and I kept on walking,
'Ring' 'Ring' 'Ring'
I took out my phone from my pocket and saw it was the video call from my mom,
'Click'
I answered the call and my eyes which looked like they have lost all hopes as if the eyes of that lifeless bird who committing suicide after hunter killed his love,
My eyes color had changed and I said with a casual tone "What? Did you have anything to talk about? Mom?"
As always, my mother calls when she is doing something, she was cutting vegetables today,
She said with caring tone "I just remembered you, were you busy?"
I replied "No, I was just on a stroll, are you fine on there, Is anything new in the village?"
She said "I am fine, don't worry about us, what will happen to us in this old village, you have to worry about yourself, you are in the city we have never seen and look at your lips they have cracked open again, you should buy a moisturizer, how many times, I have to remind you"
I replied "Yeah, yeah, I will buy it, you always focus on minute insignificant things, mom,"
"I know you will not buy it, you can't even take care of yourself even now, you are 18 now, you should be more serious and don't roam around the city during night time," she said,
Even though what she is saying is true, even though I do not take care of my body seriously, I couldn't help and clench my fist with anger,
What magic my mom knows, I just can't digest her words even though they are simple facts,
I hate it,
I fucking hate it,
I do not want to be with them,
How dare they?
I get angry and extremely angry whenever that women run's her mouth,
Fuuu, taking a long breath,
To change the subject, I changed the camera view from front view to back view her and showed my mom something she had never seen,
The huge buildings towering above like monoliths, the grand scale of this city was beyond something that could be seen in my village,
Her mouth was wide open and she called my father "Husband, look at this? How huge these buildings are! How could human even make something like this?"
My father entered the kitchen in the getup I would expect him to be in,
He was wearing a tank top and pajamas, He had aged considerably after my brother's suicide,
His hairs had turned grey and he looked at the view I was showing and also felt astonished and said "You have to be careful son, the bigger the city, the worse people you will find,"
I knew why he is saying this, Brother also lived in this city for long time and I don't know the reason but father thinks brother was blackmailed and fell into strange trap in this city,
But I think my brother committed suicide because of different reason,
In this city to be poor is sin,
There is famous saying said by longest ruling man of this city "Whoever enters Ritupur will either attain great success or perish away,"
My mother said seeing the silent atmosphere "Son, did you buy the fruits? You need to eat the fruits, you look so skinny, don't worry about the money, everything we have is yours to take, you are our only living son, after we pass away even this house will be yours."
I clenched my hand and screamed in my head 'I am not your son women, your only son is dead, long ago,'
Of course, I didn't dare say this out loud,
I laughed "Don't worry I have enough money and I am not child anymore don't worry about me,"
I lied I had no money, normally father sends almost all his monthly income to me,
As this city is too expensive,
But that is not the reason I do not ask for money from them,
I do not like that or something like that, I hate it when I have to take money from my own father,
Even though their wealth is mine to inherit but is it my ego or something else, I do not like to ask for money,
I feel like I will suffocate and die if I ask money from them and I hate myself for being so hideous.
I do not want that man's money, yes that is the right answer,
I do not want these people's money,
Yes, I feel no sense of connection from them, even though they treated me as good as they could have,
And I also know the reason behind mother's extra care for me,
Her only son committed suicide and she kinds of blames herself for that,
She thinks, she was too harsh on him but I don't think that is the case,
This city killed my brother,
Living in this city is not simple,
You will envy all the people,
You will work hard and fail utterly and then your dignity will be snatched,
You will feel like, you are stripped naked Infront of whole live stadium,
No, it is not that I do not love them,
I respect my parents a lot,
It is just that I do not want to owe anything from them,
I do not want to be dependent on them,
It is quite an irony, even though I get their money every month but you won't believe the things I go through to minimize my monthly expenses,
Sometimes, I wonder, why am I like this?
No, I was changed,
I was changed by this city,
Since thousand of years ago, this city named Ritupur had been attracting wealth, beauty and power,
Let me ask you a question,