Kay led us to an Indian food truck parked just outside of a large, wooded park. After ordering he led me down a narrow path. He stopped so suddenly I nearly ran into him. My hand tightened around my styrofoam cup, nearly spilling mango lassi.
"I promise I'm not going to murder you," I laughed at Kay's unprompted declaration, "It's just, we're going off the path. Didn't want you to think I'm luring you to a secondary location."
Kay stepped forward and pushed a bush aside.It was less maintained than the already under-maintained main trail but it was still clearly a path.
Not that it mattered to me. As I'd expressed before, Kay could murder me and ask me to hold the knife between stabbings. I shrugged and took another sip of my drink. It was sweet. Couldn't ask for a better last meal.
Kay paused to wrap his jacket around me before leading me down the path. As soon as he turned away I turned my head to not so subtly sniff the fabric. His scent mixed with mine was intoxicating.
I heard the sound of water before the creek came into view. It was gorgeous. Fall leaves drifted down from the tree canopy to fall into the gently bubbling stream. Tree roots grew out from the creekbed into the clear water. Tiny fish swam under the surface, darting in and out of the tree roots playfully.
Kay couldn't have picked a better place to murder me. I voiced this which made Kay scowl.
"I just said I wouldn't," He sat down on a large rock and patted the spot next to him. Inviting me to join him, "You don't trust me?"
"I trust you."
Maybe I said it with too much conviction or held eye contact a second too long. Whatever it was, he turned away from me.
Before I could apologize he cleared his throat and spoke, "I really like this place, I've always wanted to bring you here."
My eyes went wide. Sauce dripped down the hand shoving a soaked strip of naan in my mouth.
Me?
He wanted to bring me here?
"Waaa?(why)" I asked through my mouthful of curry and naan.
Kay's eyes flicked towards me for a moment before returning to the water. The tips of his ears flushed dark red. I wondered if I should give his jacket back.
"Just thought you'd appreciate it."
"Mhm," I hummed in affirmation. He was right, I did appreciate it. The blood, sweat, and tears I'd put into getting out of my hometown did little to ease the ache of being away from it.
There wasn't a word for missing winding backroads while fearing what the led to. Wasn't an easy way to describe the grief of having the truth of your existence steal the only place you'd ever known. Even if I found the words, I had no one to talk about it with.
Talking about it meant sharing why I couldn't go home.
Kay would understand, wouldn't he? We were the same after all.
"It reminds me of home."
"Me too," Kay smiled as he spoke. His eyes sparkled with an uncomplicated fondness that made me feel even more alone. While I knew it wasn't Kay's intent, I couldn't bring myself to confide further. The small courage I'd mustered dissolved and began drifting down the stream with the dead autumn leaves.
"Where're you from?" I decided to turn the conversation back to Kay.
He turned towards me and met my eyes for a half second before looking down to focus on ripping off a piece of naan and dunking it in the curry.
"Nowhere, Middle of. Not that it matters much since I'm never going back."
My eyes narrowed. I tilted my head curiously, "What do you mean?"
"I mean exactly what I said," The earlier light in Kay's eyes had dimmed.
Maybe we were more alike than I thought.
"You recalled it so fondly I just tho-"
"It's the people- the person, I'm fond of. Now that he's gone, that place has no meaning to me."
"He?" I couldn't help myself.
Kay froze. I waited for him to respond, to elaborate, but he abruptly changed topics, "What got you interested in plants?"
Growing up in a small town taught me when to drop a subject.
"My family had this huge fern when I was a kid. At the time it felt like it filled up the whole room. I was like five and maybe two feet tall so it was probably a normal sized fern."
Kay's laugh made warmth bloom in my chest.
I smiled and continued, "My mom and I took care of it every day. We misted it, dusted it, and watered it whenever it was needed. Then one day, I woke up and the fern was gone. There was just this…empty pot of dirt."
"It didn't take long to realize what happened. When we looked closer at the dirt, we found the tiny, broken stems of the fern. Aaaand our cat started throwing up green balls of fern leaves."
Kay choked while stifling a laugh.
"I was devastated. All that work gone in one gluttonous night-- the cat was fine by the way."
"I assumed," Kay finally managed to get his giggling under control.
"It took my mom like an hour to calm me down. She kept telling me it would grow back but I didn't believe her. Still, I was five so when she told me to keep watering it I did. Then one day, I came into the kitchen and it was back."
"This tiny coil of green poking out of the soil. The next day there were even more and eventually the fern was back to filling the entire room."
"I guess it was the symbolism? Or something like that. It really had an impact on me. Made me feel like I could keep going even when it felt like the world was ending."
As I concluded my impromptu sob-story I turned to Kay and realized he'd stopped eating at some point. I could feel my whole face burning and I briefly considered jumping into the creek.
"Sorry..I didn't mean to just…ramble like that."
"No- I mean, that was a really nice story. Thank you."
Before I could cringe hard enough to turn into a black hole, I tried to regain control of the conversation, "Ah- what about you? What got you interested in interior design?"
Kay bit his lip and sighed. I tried my best not to imagine how it'd feel if he bit down on me and-
"It's not as poetic as yours," Kay rubbed the back of his neck. Pink dusted his cheeks, "It just helped me stay close to someone I care about."
"The same person who left your home town?" I didn't want to know the answer but I couldn't stop myself from asking.
Again, Kay's eyes flicked toward me then back to the creek. He pursed his lips and nodded silently.
"So?" I licked the last of the curry from my fingers and locked eyes with Kay, "Your place or mine?"