—Oh.. is that so? Very well then. Oh no, thank you for the information. I really appreciate it! And don't worry about me; I'll keep safe! Goodbye.
Shortly before I arrived at the village, a beast appeared.
It killed a number of villagers and then disappeared.
Ever since then, the village hasn't been itself. There's a cloud of gloom hovering over it, fear visible in everyone's eyes.
At first, I thought their fear was of the beast returning.
But that's not quite right.
Their troubles with the beast are, in fact, still ongoing.
…..
—Ah, Javi.
—Hey. I hear you were asking around about the beast?
—...Yeah.
—Talking about the beast is taboo. People are going to push you away ever harder now. Though, I guess… you are leaving in a few days?
—People going missing. Your beast problem is still going on, isn't it?
—Huh.
—After asking around, I'm beginning to piece things together. When the beast first appeared, you chased it away. However, later… the beast came back, killing villagers. After that, the beast disappeared but… villagers began disappearing too. Once a week, someone would just… be gone. And ever as the weeks passed, none of them ever returned. The people of the village think the beast is responsible. They think it's kidnapping villagers.
—That's right. This village is under the beast's curse. So you're better off… forgetting about this place, and the savage beast that dwells nearby. You don't belong in a place like this. Go back to your hometown, where it's peaceful. That's the kind of life you deserve.
—Javi…
—...What?
—I want you to be honest with me about something. Where does–
—I won't tell you.
—Why not?! They told me… that you… that you would know where the beast is, Javi! I heard from the other villagers… that you once chased the beast.
—Sure you didn't mishear 'em?
—No, I'm positive! You know where the beast ran off to! Where its hideaway is! You chased after it, found its den… and then… you came back. That's what I heard. Didn't you? Why did you keep that from me?! When you told me about the beast… I asked you to tell me everything you knew, Javi! But you brushed me off, said you didn't know anything… Said that I should talk to someone else. When in reality… you know more about it than anyone else! Tell me, why? Why did you hide that from me? What were you thinking… as you watched me frantically asking around the village for more information? Were you enjoying yourself? Tell me, why are you always so mean to me?
—Shut the hell up! Like I could tell you! Like I could actually tell you that! What'd the village tell you about me? Did it go something like this? That the kid couldn't even take revenge for his parents? That he's a damn coward?! I'm sure you heard that one plenty from everyone! And now you think… that I'm a coward too!
—I don't–
—Yeah, it's true, I went after the beast! I chased it down the night it killed my parents! Hiding around back, I saw it slip into the forest! So I went after it, chasing it until I reached its den! I despised that bestia with everything I had. It murdered my mom and dad… It murdered my friends, the kindly priest, every decent person in town… I wanted… I needed to get revenge for what it had done! It was my duty to bring retribution upon the beast that stole everything from me! So I… I tried to confront the bestia… but… I couldn't do it! Not only could I not stand up to it… as soon as it turned around and I saw its eyes–its bloodshot eyes and black irises–I couldn't move…
—Javi…
—Yeah, that's right. I was a coward. I watched as it killed my parents… and even followed it home… but I couldn't do anything. Anything except run, flee, screaming in terror. That was all I could do.
—Javi, that doesn't make you a coward! If the beast really was that terrifying–
—But I was supposed to stand up to it! That's what the rest of the village would have wanted! For someone to eradicate the bestia! When I came back, having accomplished nothing… everyone was so harsh. "You coward." "What did you even go out there for?" Constant ridicule.
—What right do they have to…? If they really want him gone, they could all go together and–
—No one's got that kind of courage left. They're all waiting for someone else to speak up. Someone to stand up and say "let's go kill that beast." But no one has the guts to take that initiative! It could have been me, but… the moment I fled back to the village in fear, I lost that qualification. You think… that was just me being mean?
—Huh…?
—That I didn't tell you where the beast dwells. Do you think that was just me harassing you? I've seen the beast. I know how scary it is. And I know how dangerous it is. And you think I'd tell you where it is?! I know good and well what you're thinking! That the guy you're looking for… might have been taken by him! And you want to go to its den to see if he's there! Knowing that! Do you really think I'd tell you?! If you go, you'll… it'll… kill you… You don't have any evidence, anyway! Nothing that points to that guy being taken by the beast!
—But–!
—You don't need to put your life on the line for something like that–something so uncertain! Even if! Even if by some chance he was taken by the beast… there's no way he'd be alive! That's what the beast does! No one comes back alive!
—But… you came back alive, Javi. Which means… there's no saying for sure either way.
—That's just… because I ran away immediately, but… even if he did manage to escape, that's all the more reason not to check the beast's den!
—I… I want to know for sure… whether he's alive or dead. Somewhere… in a little corner of my heart… part of me things that he might just actually be dead. I have to have faith… but I'm so close to cracking. To think he won't ever come back to me…
—Then… why don't you just give up on him already?
—Without knowing for sure, I can't let go. I'll debate with myself forever, until I die an old lady, about whether or not he's still alive… That's how my life will end.
—You want… closure. You want to know for sure whether he's alive or dead, right? And even if he is dead… you'll be satisfied just knowing it?
—...Right. Which is why I want to, at least, follow any possible leads. There might not be anything he's there… but it is true that remains of the ship he was on washed up in this village. If he wandered the area… and ended up at the beast's den… where he was killed… then I'll let go. So please, Javi, tell me where the beast dwells.
—Make this the last time.
—Huh?
—Even if you find no trace of him at the beast's den–even if you don't figure out whether he's alive or dead–you'll give up your search for him. You'll assume he's dead. If you don't reach some conclusion, you'll just keep searching, keep going to dangerous places, keep putting yourself at risk. I want you to stop that. To stop, go back to your town, and live a normal life. Settle on an answer. If you can promise me that, I'll tell you where the beast's den is.
— Okay. I promise. This will be the last place I look.
—Two more things. First, I'm going with you.
—What? But I thought… Isn't it dangerous?
—Exactly! I can't let you go alone!
—Javi…
—I have to go with you and make sure you don't do anything stupid.
—All right, fine. And the other one is?
—You will not enter the den. You don't understand just how dangerous the beast is. It knows no mercy. It indiscriminately attacks any human it sees. So you can't let the beast find you. You just examine the den from the outside. And when you're done, back to the village. Understood? You need to promise me this.
—Okay.
—Oh right, one more thing…
—Huh? I thought it was just two things?
—This is less of a promise… and more something that would be nice. I decided… when we make it back to the village… I actually would like… if you could take me to your hometown.
—Javi…
—I'll figure out some way to get permission. And I'll go my beast to not be a burden on you. I'm still just a kid, and there's not a whole lot I can do even in a better place… but I'm surprisingly skilled with my hands. If you have work for me, I'll do anything. So… there's that.
—Yes! Yes! Of course I will. We'll go back to my hometown together, and I'll show you all around! You can get some great ham sandwiches there! We'll eat them together in the park.
—You've told me that already. Haha… are you ever not hungry, lady?
—Ah, you laughed! You just laughed, Javi!
—Wh-Whoa, back off! I did not laugh!
—Nope, you definitely laughed. You're kind of cute when you laugh, Javi! C'mon, do it again. Go on, like this.
—Sh-Shut up! Stay back! Nngh, stop it, don't touch my cheeks!
—Bah. I wanted to see it again.
—I am not your plaything!
—Hehehe…
—Anyway. We set out tomorrow. We will return before it gets dark, you will keep your promises, and you will not do anything dangerous. Got it?
—Promise. Thank you, Javi.
—I don't need your thanks…
—Thank you.
That "thank you" is not for him agreeing to tell me where the beast's den is…
but because I can see… that Javi's trying to save me.
His care calms the turbulent waves that have been crashing inside me.
I was always anxious.
I always believed.
I always thought I'd see him again.
But I also recognized… that I was practically living a fantasy.
I was just… too stubborn to admit it.
I certainly won't be able to change how I feel immediately. I'll probably continue loving him.
Nevertheless, Javi's words resonated comfortingly with me.
I can see–if but vaguely–a new path, a new way of life appearing before me.
That's what he did for me.
I will make this the last time.
My final attempt to find him.
No matter the outcome, I will stop stubbornly believing he's still alive.
And then… I'll find happiness on a different path.