Chapter Thirty-Two: The Great Roast
The morning started innocently enough.
Jay woke in Keifer's arms, warm and content. The sun streamed through the windows. Birds sang. Somewhere downstairs, Keiran was probably plotting world domination with Rex.
Perfect.
Then she checked her phone.
And froze.
Ella: Girl. Why is there a photoshoot of your fiancé on a yacht with Valentina?
Rakii: Just saw the photos. Explain.
Mica: KEIFER AND VALENTINA? AGAIN? GIRL.
Jay clicked the link.
There they were. Keifer and Valentina. On a yacht. In matching white outfits. Smiling at each other.
The date stamp: Yesterday. While she was at Tita Gemma's helping with wedding planning.
While he was supposedly "working."
---
Jay turned to Keifer, who was still blissfully asleep.
"Keif."
"Mmm?"
"Wake up."
"Why?" He smiled, reaching for her. "Come back to bed."
"Keifer. Wake. Up."
Something in her tone made his eyes snap open.
"What? What's wrong?"
She held up her phone.
He looked at the screen.
His face went through several stages—confusion, recognition, horror, panic.
"Jay. I can explain."
"Can you?"
"That's from MONTHS ago! Before we were together! Before anything! It's an old photoshoot for some magazine spread!"
Jay scrolled down. Read the caption.
Throwback: Mark Keifer Watson and Valentina Cross at a charity yacht event, two years ago.
Two years ago.
Before her.
Before anything.
She looked at him.
He looked terrified.
"You're telling me," she said slowly, "that this is an old photo. Recently posted. For throwback Thursday?"
"YES! Exactly! Throwback Thursday! It's Thursday!"
"It's Wednesday."
"It's—" He checked his phone. "It's Wednesday. Why would they post throwback on Wednesday?"
"Miscalculation?"
"Probably! These things happen!"
Jay stared at him for a long moment.
Then she started laughing.
"You should see your face," she gasped. "You look like you're about to die."
"I THOUGHT I was about to die!"
"I was messing with you! I knew it was old! The hair gave it away."
He touched his hair. "My hair?"
"You had that weird phase. The slightly-too-long phase. Remember?"
He did remember. It was a dark time.
"So you weren't actually mad?"
"Oh, I was mad for approximately three seconds. Then I saw the date." She patted his cheek. "But watching you panic was worth it."
He collapsed back onto the pillows. "I hate you."
"No you don't."
"I love you. But I hate you right now."
She crawled on top of him, grinning. "Poor baby. Scared by a throwback."
"You're evil."
"Your evil."
---
They might have continued the conversation in a more... physical direction.
But the door burst open.
Percy.
"KEIFER! I JUST SAW THE PHOTOS! VALENTINA! YACHT! WHAT—" He stopped, taking in the scene. Jay on top of Keifer. Both laughing. No signs of murder.
"Oh. You're not fighting."
"Nope," Jay said cheerfully.
"You're not even mad?"
"It's a throwback, Percy. From two years ago."
Percy blinked. "Oh. Right. The yacht thing. I was there. I completely forgot."
"You were there?"
"Photobombed like seventeen shots. They edited me out." He looked offended. "I'm memorable!"
"You're definitely something."
Keifer groaned. "Can we have five minutes of peace?"
"No. Keiran's awake and demanding 'engagement pancakes.' I'm supposed to fetch you."
Jay sighed, climbing off Keifer. "Engagement pancakes it is."
---
Breakfast was chaos, as always.
Keiran supervised pancake production. Keigan emerged long enough to grab food and flee. Percy stayed, because Percy never left.
Jay was at the stove when her phone buzzed.
Then buzzed again.
Then again.
She glanced at it.
Ella: Wait. You're not mad?
Rakii: You're not mad?
Mica: You're not mad? I'm disappointed. I wanted drama.
Freya: She's not mad, it's an old photo.
Mica: Still. Drama.
Honey: Percy just texted. He says Keifer's face was priceless.
Percy (in group chat): IT WAS. I WISH I'D FILMED IT.
Yuri: I'm arriving with cameras. Document the aftermath.
Jay: There is no aftermath. It was a throwback.
Yuri: Disappointed. Arriving anyway.
---
Yuri arrived within the hour.
So did C.N., David, and Felix. Then Ella, Rakii, Mica, Freya, and Honey. Then Aries and Calix. Then Bridget.
Within two hours, the mansion was full again.
And everyone wanted details.
"So let me get this straight," C.N. said, sprawled on the couch. "You saw the photo, knew it was old, but let him panic anyway?"
"Yes."
"And his face?"
"Terrified. Like a deer in headlights. It was beautiful."
Keifer, sitting beside her, protested. "I was NOT that scared."
"You were. Percy, back me up."
Percy nodded solemnly. "He went through five stages of grief in three seconds. I've never seen anything like it."
"I hate all of you."
"No you don't." Jay kissed his cheek. "You love us."
"I love YOU. The rest are negotiable."
---
The teasing continued all afternoon.
Mica kept making yacht jokes. Felix kept asking if Valentina was "sea-worthy." David created a photoshopped image of Keifer's face on a sinking ship.
Even Keiran got involved.
"Pappa on boat?" he asked, looking at the photos.
"Long time ago, baby. Before Mamma."
"With pretty lady?"
"She's... yes. Pretty. But not as pretty as Mamma."
Keiran nodded seriously. "Mamma prettiest. That lady has weird smile."
Jay choked on her drink.
"He's three and he already knows how to read people," Ella observed. "Impressive."
"Terrifying," Keifer corrected.
---
By evening, the teasing had evolved into a full roast.
Percy started it. "Remember when Keifer tried to grow a beard and it looked like a sad caterpillar died on his face?"
Everyone howled.
C.N. joined in. "Remember when he tried to cook and set off the fire alarm? Three times?"
"That was ONE time!"
"Three times. I was there."
David added, "Remember when he wore that ridiculous hat to the charity gala? The one that made him look like a lost explorer?"
"It was vintage!"
"It was tragic."
Jay was crying with laughter. Keifer buried his face in his hands.
"You're all terrible people."
"We're your family," Aries corrected. "Same thing."
---
Then Jay stood up.
"My turn."
The room quieted, eager.
She looked at Keifer with a wicked smile.
"Let's talk about the time he tried to propose before the actual proposal."
Keifer's head snapped up. "What? I never—"
"You did. Three months ago. You had the ring in your pocket. You were going to do it during that fancy dinner. But Keiran had a nightmare and you had to go home."
The room gasped.
Percy leaned forward. "This is news."
"I found the ring later. In his sock drawer. With a note that said 'Plan B: When Keiran stops having nightmares.'"
Keifer was bright red. "You weren't supposed to find that."
"The sock drawer, Keif? Really?"
"It was the only place Keiran couldn't reach!"
Mica was dying. "This is gold. Pure gold."
Jay continued. "Then there was the second attempt. At the beach. Remember the beach?"
Keifer groaned. "Please stop."
"Never. He had it all planned. Sunset. Walk on the sand. Romantic moment." She paused. "He forgot the ring."
"JAY."
"It was in the car. He'd left it in the cupholder."
The room erupted.
Felix was crying with laughter. C.N. was on the floor. Even Aries, usually stoic, was wiping tears.
Keifer looked at Jay. "I hate you."
"You love me."
"I love you. But I hate you right now."
She kissed his cheek. "Fair enough."
---
The roasting continued for hours.
Every embarrassing story. Every awkward moment. Every time Keifer had been less than perfect.
By the end, he was a blushing mess, but he was laughing.
"You're all terrible," he repeated.
"Your terrible," Jay agreed.
"Yeah." He pulled her close. "My terrible."
---
Later, after everyone left and Keiran was asleep, they sat on the patio.
"Today was ridiculous," Jay said.
"The most ridiculous."
"I loved it."
"Even the part where you roasted me mercilessly?"
"Especially that part."
He kissed her forehead. "I love you."
"I love you too. Even with your weird hat phase."
"It was NOT a phase."
"It absolutely was."
He laughed, pulling her closer. "Fine. It was a phase."
"The beard phase was worse."
"The beard was EXPERIMENTAL."
"The beard was a choice."
They sat in comfortable silence, watching the stars.
"Jay?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you're not actually mad about the Valentina thing."
"Keif. It was two years ago. You didn't know me. I don't care."
"But if it had been recent?"
"I would have killed you."
"Good to know."
She smiled. "Always."
---
End of Chapter Thirty-Two