It didn't get easier after that.
If anything, it became clearer.
And clarity… was worse.
Because before, I could pretend. Pretend I didn't understand, pretend I hadn't decided, pretend I was still figuring things out. But now—there was no pretending left.
I stayed.
That was the truth.
And the more I accepted it, the heavier it felt.
"You're thinking again."
I didn't look at him this time. "You say that like it's going to stop me."
"It won't."
"Then why keep pointing it out?"
"Because you keep circling the same thoughts."
I exhaled slowly. "Maybe because they're not resolved."
"They are."
"No, they're not."
"Yes, they are," Kairo said calmly. "You just don't like the answer."
I frowned slightly. "And what answer is that?"
"That you chose me."
My chest tightened.
"That's not the part I'm struggling with."
"Then what is?"
I hesitated.
Because saying it out loud made it real.
"He's gone," I said quietly.
Silence followed.
Not denial.
Not correction.
Just acknowledgment.
"And?" Kairo asked.
I turned to him. "And that matters."
"It doesn't change anything."
"I know that," I replied. "But it still matters."
"Why?"
The question was simple.
Too simple.
"Because I'm not the kind of person who can just ignore that," I said. "He didn't just walk away from you. He walked away because of me."
"That was his decision."
"And mine," I added.
Silence settled again, heavier this time.
"You're taking responsibility for something that isn't yours," Kairo said.
"It is mine."
"No."
"Yes," I insisted. "Because if I hadn't said anything—"
"He still would have left eventually."
I stopped.
That wasn't what I expected.
"What?"
Kairo's gaze didn't waver. "You think this only happened because of you. It didn't."
My chest tightened slightly. "Then why did it happen?"
"Because it was already unstable."
Silence.
"He knew that," Kairo continued. "He just didn't act on it until now."
I looked at him carefully. "You're saying this would have happened anyway."
"Yes."
"That doesn't make it better."
"It makes it accurate."
I exhaled slowly. "You really don't care about how things feel, do you?"
"I care about what's real."
"And feelings aren't real?"
"They are," he said. "But they don't change facts."
I shook my head. "You're impossible."
"And you're still here."
That again.
Always that.
But this time, it didn't irritate me as much.
Because it was true.
I stayed.
No matter how much I questioned it.
No matter how complicated it felt.
I didn't leave.
"You're quieter than before," Kairo said.
I leaned back slightly against the wall. "Maybe I'm finally running out of arguments."
"You're not."
"No," I corrected, "I just don't want to keep repeating them."
Silence followed, but it wasn't tense.
It felt… settled.
Uncomfortably settled.
"You're accepting it," he said.
I let out a small breath. "I think I have to."
"You don't have to."
"I do," I said. "Because pretending I didn't choose this isn't working anymore."
Kairo watched me carefully.
"You chose me," he repeated.
I met his gaze. "…Yes."
The word didn't shake this time.
It didn't hesitate.
It just… existed.
And that made it more real than anything else.
Kairo stepped closer.
Not sudden.
Not forceful.
Just enough to close the distance again.
"You're still thinking about him," he said.
I didn't deny it. "Yes."
"That won't change anything."
"I know."
"Then stop treating it like it will."
I frowned slightly. "You think I'm doing that?"
"Yes."
I shook my head. "I'm not trying to change anything."
"Then what are you doing?"
I hesitated.
Then—"Trying to understand it."
Silence.
Then—
"You already do."
"No, I don't."
"You do," he said. "You just don't like it."
I let out a quiet breath. "You really think everything is that simple."
"It is."
"No," I said. "It just looks simple to you."
"Because I'm not avoiding it."
"I'm not avoiding it," I argued.
"You are."
I frowned. "How?"
"You keep focusing on him instead of yourself."
That made me pause.
Because… that wasn't entirely wrong.
"I'm part of it," I said.
"Yes," he agreed. "But you're not the reason it happened."
"That's easy for you to say."
"It's the truth."
Silence followed again.
But this time—
It felt different.
Less like resistance.
More like something slowly settling into place.
"You're not going to change your mind," I said.
"No."
"Not even a little?"
"No."
I exhaled slowly. "You're really certain about this."
"Yes."
"About me."
"Yes."
The certainty in his voice didn't waver.
Not even slightly.
And that…
That made something in my chest tighten again.
Not in a bad way.
Just… in a way I wasn't used to.
"You don't hesitate at all," I said.
"No."
"I wish I could do that."
"You don't need to."
"I do," I replied. "Because I'm still thinking about everything."
"That's your problem."
I gave him a look. "That's not helpful."
"It's accurate."
I shook my head, but a small breath escaped me.
Not quite a laugh.
But close.
"You're unbelievable."
"And you're still here."
That again.
But this time—
I didn't argue.
Because there was nothing left to argue about.
The decision was made.
The choice was real.
And no matter how complicated it felt—
I wasn't leaving.