In the crystal-clear Holy Water, the massive ice sculpture of the golden crocodile was still giving off a faint chill.
Darkness's slightly singed eyelashes trembled a few times before her eyes suddenly flew open.
She looked around blankly at first, then, as if remembering something, immediately began patting herself all over.
"I-Is it over? That dreamlike time... when my body was pierced by countless sharp scales and ravaged again and again by savage fangs... is it really over?" Darkness sat bolt upright and stared at the lifeless crocodile, now frozen into an ice sculpture, despair so deep it was almost heartbreaking in her eyes. "You have to be kidding me... I was fully prepared to be dragged into the darkest mire, tangled up in filthy weeds, and left with nothing but pitiful cries for help in the end... so why did it just die like that? Kōichi! Why did you use Freeze magic? You cold, heartless man! Don't you know how unbearably hollow it feels for a Knight to win without being completely done in by a monster?!"
Kōichi looked at Darkness, who seemed ready to cry from sheer regret, and the corner of his mouth twitched.
"Hey, I saved your life! If it had really dragged you off, we'd be a four-person party right now!"
"It's fine! Darkness, watch this!" Aqua stepped over with a face full of confidence. A soft green light glowed in her slender palms as she slapped them right onto Darkness's dented, cracked armor. "Heal! Heal! Heal!!"
As Aqua chanted, the bruises and scrapes on Darkness's body vanished at a visible rate, but that battered Crusader armor remained just as charred and warped as before.
"Aqua, what are you doing?"
Kazuma gave her a sidelong look.
"I'm fixing her armor! I'm a Goddess, this should be easy... huh? Why isn't it working?" Aqua poured in even more magic, straining until her face turned red. "Turn back into your shiny, sparkling self already! You stubborn piece of scrap metal!"
"You idiot, Heal only works on living things. How is it supposed to fix metal?" Kazuma shot back mercilessly. "Even if you rub sparks out of it, it'll still just be a slightly cleaner pile of junk."
"Waaaah! Even armor is rejecting me! The laws of physics in this world are definitely broken! They're obviously targeting a Goddess blessed with both beauty and wisdom!"
Aqua instantly fell apart, crouching in the water and starting to draw circles.
Kōichi looked at this bunch of problem children, who had already slipped right back into their usual routine, then glanced at the giant golden ice sculpture in the distance. Taking a deep breath, he put on all the authority of a self-proclaimed acting party leader.
"Alright! Quit losing your minds in here! Darkness, if you're feeling empty, go sleep in the stables tonight when we get back. I guarantee nobody will stop you. Aqua, stop trying to fix that junk and hurry up and carry that golden treasure chest. We're heading back to the Adventurers Guild!"
Kōichi pointed at the solid gold treasure chest frozen beneath the crocodile's belly. Refracted through the Holy Water, its golden shine looked especially tempting.
"Listen up, that's forty million Eris! Once we collect the bounty, we won't just be able to pay off our debt. We can move into a better inn, buy the best equipment, and eat the most expensive grilled meat!" Kōichi paused, then broke into a delightfully unhinged grin. "I might even be able to buy a few pairs of top-quality underwear!"
The moment they heard the words money and meat, everyone who had been sulking a second ago instantly lit up like they had been injected with pure adrenaline.
"That's right! Let's go! Back to the Adventurers Guild!"
Kazuma hoisted the heavy golden treasure chest onto his back. Even though the weight nearly broke his waist, the grin on his face shone brighter than Aqua's purification aura.
"I'm getting premium beef! And I'm buying that ruby-encrusted staff too!"
Megumin hurried after them just as excitedly, even though her magic still had not recovered and she was walking a little unsteadily.
"B-back to the Adventurers Guild to collect the reward... walking up there in front of everyone while wearing this completely ruined armor that even smells faintly burnt... and having them point at me and whisper, 'My, just what terrible things has this young lady been through?'... ngh! That actually sounds wonderful!"
Darkness's fighting spirit reignited at once, and she staggered her way to the very front of the group.
Late at night, the Adventurers Guild had lost its usual noise. The only ones left in the hall were Kōichi's party, all of them carrying the smell of burnt smoke and lingering traces of Holy Water.
Behind the counter, Luna counted everything three full times with trembling hands before finally stamping several thick debt slips with a bright red settled mark.
"Phew... I've never seen this much money in my life."
Watching the IOUs get taken away, Kazuma slumped into his chair like gravity had finally let go of him and released a long sigh.
After paying off that astronomical mansion repair bill, there was still a full 6.3 million Eris left on the table.
The pile of glittering coins shimmered under the dim candlelight with an almost seductive gleam, as if it were beckoning them closer.
"Heh... hehehe..." Aqua's eyes had already turned into coins. Like a greedy hamster, she lunged at the table and spread her arms wide, trying to sweep all the money into her embrace. "This is all mine! No objections, right? If it weren't for my perfect, Sacred Highness Purification, you'd all still be rolling around in that stinking mud pit! I'm also buying that fifty-year-aged bottle of divine bubbly, and a full set of silk pajamas, and..."
"Hey, idiot Goddess, did you forget who almost got drowned by you?"
Kazuma's gaze instantly turned icy, and that gloomy aura unique to sadistic Kazuma began spreading through the Adventurers Guild.
Kōichi stood off to the side. Even though the soaked fabric still left his lower half feeling faintly chilled, the stimulation of all that money seemed to have pushed his brainpower to its absolute peak.
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged a look. With that single glance, they reached the kind of understanding that could only exist between a scumbag and a sadist.
"Kazuma, you think so too, right?"
Kōichi let out a cold laugh and slowly walked toward the table.
"Yeah, Kōichi, I completely agree. Certain highly paid laborers who do nothing but cause trouble, use their teammates as human shields, and even try to repair armor with Heal seem to have some serious misconceptions about how much they contributed to this fight."
Kazuma cracked his knuckles with a crisp snap.
"W-What are you two trying to do?! I'm a Goddess! I'm your faith! Your savior!"
Sensing that suffocating pressure, Aqua pulled her hands back in fright, tears already starting to gather in the corners of her eyes.
"First, purifying the sewers made the water level surge and nearly got the whole party wiped out. Two million deducted for emotional damages."
Kōichi raised one finger, expressionless.
"Second, using a teammate as a human shield during combat. One million deducted as hazard compensation."
Kazuma immediately added on.
"Third, wasting magic on ineffective casting, and causing irreversible visual pollution to Darkness's armor. One million deducted for repair costs."
Kōichi grabbed Aqua off the pile of money and tossed her onto the empty floor beside it like a bag of trash.
"Waaahhh! This is outrageous! You two demons! Scum! Perverts! Kōichi, you pantyless exhibitionist! Kazuma, you panty-stealing creep! I'm reporting you! I'm filing a complaint with Eris!!"
Aqua collapsed on the floor and burst into loud sobs, kicking her legs wildly against the boards. She sounded like she had suffered the greatest injustice in the world.
"Alright, nuisance removed."
Ignoring the wailing in the background completely, Kōichi turned to Kazuma.
There were still 6.3 million Eris left on the table.
The mood instantly turned tense.
"Kōichi, that last arrow was mine," Kazuma said, narrowing his eyes slightly. His hand had already settled on the hilt of the short sword at his waist, though he obviously did not dare draw it. "And if I hadn't led the way, you'd still be wandering around in circles down in the sewers."
"Oh? And who cast the final Freeze spell? Who kept giving orders without wearing underwear and nearly got electrocuted to death doing it?"
Kōichi raised a brow, and a dangerous red glow flickered at the tip of his staff.
"Kazuma, don't get greedy. I take four million, and you, Megumin, and Darkness split the remaining 2.3 million. Sounds fair, doesn't it?"
"Fair my ass! Megumin's already asleep, and Darkness is still floating in the afterglow of being ordered around by you, she doesn't care about money at all! This is obviously just you and me trying to swallow the biggest share!" Kazuma slammed a hand on the table. "A man settles things the manly way! Come on, Kōichi! Rock-paper-scissors! Winner takes five million!"
Kazuma's pale shut-in face was twisted into the kind of smug grin that said everything was going exactly according to plan.
His right hand rubbed restlessly against his thigh, and his eyes shone with that mysterious confidence of I've got EX Luck, what are you going to use against me?
"Come on, Kōichi! This is the fairest, fastest, and most fitting way for low-tier adventurers like us to settle things!" Kazuma snickered as he got into position, ready to throw. "One round decides it all. Winner gets five million, loser takes 1.3 million and buys drinks for that idiot Goddess over there. How's that? Generous, right?"
Looking at Kazuma's utterly confident expression, Kōichi let out a cold laugh. Instead of raising his hand, he crossed his arms and stared at him with a look that saw straight through everything.
"Kazuma, do you take me for an idiot?" Kōichi narrowed his eyes, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Who in all of Axel doesn't know your Luck is absurdly high? Playing rock-paper-scissors with you wouldn't be a duel. It'd be the Kōichi Charity Foundation handing out cash prizes on the spot. I may not be wearing underwear, but my brain hasn't been soaked rotten by Holy Water."
Kazuma's smile froze on his face. He awkwardly pulled his hand back and coughed twice.
"Ahem... what are you talking about? A little game like this is all about momentum, momentum, got it? Since you're too scared to play, that means you've already lost, so the money is mine..."
"Hold it."
Kōichi slammed a hand onto the table so hard that the pile of coins rang out sharply. It also startled Aqua, who had been quietly reaching for a coin, into jerking her hand back.
Kōichi swept his gaze over this increasingly deranged party: a Goddess crying her eyes out, a perverted Knight covered in smoke and looking utterly blissful, a chuuni mage sleeping like the dead, and the shut-in in front of him whose head was full of sadistic nonsense.
"All this fighting over a few million is just too small-time."
Kōichi straightened up. In the faint moonlight spilling in through the window, his figure suddenly looked almost imposing in Kazuma's eyes, though that was probably just an illusion.
"Kazuma, if we're going to survive in this world, while carrying the constant risk of going bankrupt at any moment, then this party needs a real core."
Kazuma blinked. "A core? What do you mean?"
"A captain."
Kōichi spoke each word slowly and clearly, his tone carrying an unquestionable finality.
"Since this huge payout just came in today, let's do this properly. We settle it with a real contest and decide who the one and only captain of this party is, the one with absolute authority. The winner not only takes the five million, but also gets control of the party finances, mission selection, and the right to discipline these troublemaking idiots from now on."
The moment she heard the words right to discipline, Darkness, who had been lying there like a corpse, suddenly shot upright, her eyes blazing like two high-powered lamps.
"D-discipline rights?! You mean the kind where... because someone's done something wrong, the captain locks them in a dark little room and subjects them to all kinds of inhumane lectures and physical punishment? Uwooooh... whether it's Kōichi or Kazuma, as long as one of you can give that kind of excessive order... I-I have no objections!"
"Shut up! This is a battle of pride between men!" Kazuma snapped at Darkness, then turned back to Kōichi, his gaze growing serious. "Interesting... Kōichi, you may be a pantyless pervert, but that proposal is definitely tempting. So how do you want to compete? Because if it's magic, I'm out."
The corners of Kōichi's mouth lifted slightly, forming a smile that sent a chill straight down Kazuma's spine: